Getting drunk in an airport is impossible. There's just not enough money in the world. My recommendation - mix a half bottle of Coke with some Jack. You'll be three sheets to the wind before your first connection, and the second flight will be a kickass good time. Even if you're sitting next to two middle-aged divorcees from Jersey who're sporting vintage Jellies.

Speed limits were meant to be broken; which is why no one obeys them. Seriously, have you ever known anyone who drove the speed limit? Everyone always goes for five over. I'd stake my reputation on it.

You're a tourist, of course the locals don't like you. Tread lightly but for the love of Pete don't be some kind of pantywaist.

Posted by: shank at 09:21 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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In the next twenty days, I will only spend 6 at work. That's right, it's vacation time bitches!

I leave Thursday afternoon for a snorkeling/camping trip with my big brother. It's his bachelor party, and he wanted to do something with just the guys. I don't see any strippers in our future, but my brother was never really the stripper type, so it's not surprising.

Then I come back for a week, and leave again that weekend for his wedding. That's the long one, almost 10 days. I drive out on a Saturday, and The Wife joins the party the following Wednesday. Uncles, aunts, cousins, and people I'm not sure how I'm related to usually come out of the woodwork for weddings; prompted mostly by an open bar and the chance to make extended family feel "socioeconomically disadvantaged". Well, not all of them; but there are more than enough. I plan on having breakfast on the beach every morning and spending some serious time in the water. I think I'm slates somewhere in there as best man, so I suppose I might have to put a shirt on at some point; but we'll have to play that one by ear.

Of course, all this means I'll probably have a severly limited Christmas vacation. Meh.

Posted by: shank at 05:13 PM | Comments (10) | Add Comment
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