Anybody else notice that half the template seems to be missing?

Wasn't me...

Posted by: Pixy Misa at 02:04 PM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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Option B is the overwhelming favorite with ~6 votes. Write in candidate E had ~2 votes and loathsome option D finished third with a single vote.

Victor and Phin will spend the year in an unholy embrace at second place on the 2005 winner's board.

Speach! Speach!

Posted by: Jim at 06:03 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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(Updated below the fold)

11 people guessed the artist.

(Click here to see it in all its majesty.)

Only Pixy Misa got it right. That's right folks, this spectacular landscape was drawn by yours truly. The exceptionally sad part is that I wasn't attempting to draw like a kid. That's about the best artwork you should ever safely expect from me. My Mom is an artist and Bacon is showing definite signs of the same but this trait has definitely skipped a generation.

Pixy wins the whole ball of wax and takes a commanding lead in the early Points season. more...

Posted by: Jim at 07:26 PM | Comments (12) | Add Comment
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1 What the....????

Posted by: Tiffani at January 10, 2006 11:01 AM (KE4Gu)

2 Don't hate the playa, hate the game.

Posted by: Jim at January 10, 2006 11:18 AM (tyQ8y)

3 Well, I want to put it on the refrigerator!

Posted by: Margi at January 10, 2006 11:36 AM (nwEQH)

4 Hey now, I did say it looked like an older child's handiwork! I should get SOME credit!

Posted by: diamond dave at January 10, 2006 04:53 PM (0gB9X)

5 You're right Dave. I'll award you twice the points of everybody else who got it wrong. Mwah hah hah hah!!

Posted by: Jim at January 10, 2006 05:08 PM (tyQ8y)

6 LOL, I wouldn't even guess... But now that I look at i, it is such a HAPPY picture

Posted by: Elizabeth at January 11, 2006 03:21 PM (uqPyj)

7 Okay, I wouldn't be able to draw to that level. The doggie is cute. And in case it isn't a doggie the bluish creature with the bird on its back. Why is the dog being chased by a wolf and I didn't know snails came that big.

Posted by: Rachel Ann at January 11, 2006 04:33 PM (fIRjZ)

8 The blue thing is a dog. The brown thing half behind the bushes is a wily fox. Can't you see how the wily just drips off of him?

Posted by: Jim at January 11, 2006 04:54 PM (oqu5j)

9 That's pretty shitty, Jim.

Posted by: Victor at January 12, 2006 08:40 AM (L3qPK)

10 Shitty "ha ha" or shitty "peculiar"?

Posted by: Jim at January 12, 2006 08:45 AM (tyQ8y)

11 Both! Plus it's a comment on your artistic skills.

Posted by: Victor at January 12, 2006 02:39 PM (L3qPK)

12 Can you people please post something? Jesh. I'm going through withdrawl. Come on already!

Posted by: Tiffani at January 13, 2006 10:52 AM (KE4Gu)

Hide Comments | Add Comment

I've put back the submit button on the individual archive pages. You'll no longer have to preview a comment before submitting.

You may all thank the great and powerful Pixy Misa, whose recent anti-spam activities have made this possible. Also, the automatic comment closer for old posts helped a lot.

Posted by: Jim at 07:24 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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A problem has been pointed out in the season finale post. Victor is in there twice. Once is way up at the top and the other is way down there at the bottom. If the two scores are combined it brings Victor up from 4th place into a tie for second place. What's up with this? Several theories abound:

1. The Snooze Points™ database was hopelessly corrupted during a system crash caused by the world renown chess battle between the Munuviana servers and Big Blue.


2. Commies, Islamic fundamentalists and/or PETA hacked the list and added another entry for Victor near the bottom (where it wouldn't be noticed for several days after posting) to sow discord in the hopes they can use this confusion to their unholy advantage.


3. At some time during the year Jim screwed up the list. When he put in a new score for Victor he failed to combine it with Victor's existing points, creating instead a second entry.


4. At some time during the year Jim screwed up the list. When he put in a new score for Victor he added the new tally but failed to remove the original score, thereby creating instead a second entry.

An in depth investigation shows that the world renown chess battle between the Munuviana servers and Big Blue never happened. Big Blue chickened out. Additionally it was found that neither commies, Islamic fundamentalists nor PETA have the mad hak3r skillz required to pierce Snoozecurity. We are left with only two viable theories and no way to determine which one is correct. Victor should be in either 2nd place or 4th place for the 2005 season and we have no deductive method of figuring out which.

So we'll vote on it! Yeah, voting. Nothing pisses off Commies, Islamic fundamentalists and PETArists like good old fashioned democracy. Cast your vote for one of the following:

A) Victor ties for 2nd place. Phin is cast off the legacy board among jeers and cheers. Phin vows revenge upon all things Pointy in general and Victor in particular.

B) Victor ties for 2nd place. Phin stays on the legacy board which is increased to four spots this year in a sop to Phin.

C) Victor stays in 4th place. Victor vows revenge upon all things Pointy in general and every person who voted for this option in particular.

D) Victor stays in 4th place. Victor joins the legacy board which is increased to four spots this year in a sop to Victor.

Lacking an armed secret police force to drag citizens to the polls we'll bribe folks instead. One point for each civic minded voter. Chicago residents, per tradition, may vote multiple times*.

* Though only one will count. Hah!

Posted by: Jim at 05:59 AM | Comments (14) | Add Comment
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It's been a long, productive, occassionally frightening year. Season leader dafyd was upset late in the game by a very determined Tiffani. One must wonder how the final tally might have been different if he were properly engaged in the last quote contest instead of doing such pedantic things as working. Priorities, Dafyd! Priorities!

It was a tight race for the runner up spots as well. phin narrowly edged out Victor for the #3 spot thanks to being one of only three people to get the final contest of the season (Paul's Sham/Share) correct. It just goes to show that goldfish are better pets than rats, though only marginally.

The three top finishers get pride of place on the leader board for the entirety of the 2006 season. First prize winner Tiffani gets a special mystery gift of humorous nature and dubious value.

Here are the final results of 2005:

(45) Tiffani
(42) dafyd
(40) phin
(39) Victor
(2 diamond dave
(23) Clancy
(19) Holly
(17) Rob
(16) Paul, shank
(15) Tommy
(12) Kenny, Helen, vw bug, Simon
(11) Jen
(10) Spirit Fingers, Frick, Denise, Jeff
(9) LeeAnn, pylorns, The Lovely Brat Wife
(7) Rob P, Garret, Boudicca
(6) Kathleen, MojoMark, Random Penseur
(5) Craig, Kev, DeAnna, Machelle, Mo Mo, Oorgo, Margi
(4) Jeremy, Harvey, Contagion, Stephen
(3) Matt, Victor, Timmer, Susie, Trey
(2) Mike the Marine, Ryan, Squire Trelane, Elyse, 8ZERO8, Wendy, Me
(1) Jeremy, Ilyka, knpepper, Daniel, Rudy, el Robbo, Tony, Tim Adamec, Rachel Ann

Posted by: Jim at 11:37 AM | Comments (19) | Add Comment
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1 WHy the fuck an I not onthere???????????????

Posted by: The Brat at January 05, 2006 11:59 AM (oqu5j)

2 Oh wait...never mind....missed "The Brat" was looking for LW....:-P

Posted by: The Brat at January 05, 2006 12:01 PM (oqu5j)

3 I could change it to Lovely Brat Wife. ;-)

Posted by: Jim at January 05, 2006 12:14 PM (tyQ8y)

4 There. All set now.

Posted by: Jim at January 05, 2006 12:18 PM (tyQ8y)

5 Two years on the Season Winners board. I either have no life or I am THAT good!

Posted by: Tiffani at January 05, 2006 12:36 PM (KE4Gu)

6 Why can't it be both?

Posted by: Jim at January 05, 2006 12:54 PM (tyQ8y)

7 Snoozepoints is becoming a cultural microcosm. Jim, you should really entertain the idea of a Snoozepoints Tournament of Champions or something. Get the top three players from each of the past few years (or as many as you can) for a week-long Dork-a-Thon.

Posted by: shank at January 05, 2006 01:15 PM (+H1yK)

8 You want me to have a dork-a-thon with Tiffani? My Lovely Brat Wife would kill me.

Posted by: Jim at January 05, 2006 01:33 PM (tyQ8y)

9 Shank honey, are you calling me a dork?

Posted by: Tiffani at January 05, 2006 02:38 PM (KE4Gu)

10 I'm calling a lot of people dorks. But hey, at least you're not the one who came up with Reverse Snooze Points.

Posted by: shank at January 05, 2006 02:47 PM (+H1yK)

11 Gah. I'm never working again. Ever.

Posted by: Dafyd at January 05, 2006 06:34 PM (+YcSo)

12 Four Points? Four Lousy Points? How on earth did I get four points?

Posted by: Stephen Macklin at January 05, 2006 08:25 PM (DdRjH)

13 I suck. Oh well...

Posted by: Wendy at January 06, 2006 12:10 AM (10FwA)

14 Woo Hoo, i made the top te... Fuck! Steenking ties. :-D I'll get there one of these days, ~Top o' the world, ma, they said i'd never make it, but i'm here!! -- BOOM!~ :-D

Posted by: tommy at January 06, 2006 01:11 AM (ZDj4b)

15 I AM THE GREATEST! Okay, #3, but it's close. Congratulations, Tiffani.

Posted by: phin at January 06, 2006 09:20 AM (Xvpen)

16 Actually, I am tied for second with Dafyd. Notice I am in fourth place with 39 points AND I'm also listed third from the bottom in a massive five-way with Susie, Trey, and two other dudes. Obviously, Jim forgot to add three points to my total; ergo 39+3=42. Keep revising, Jim.

Posted by: Victor at January 06, 2006 09:42 AM (L3qPK)

17 RECOUNT!! Jim's trying to steal the election from Victor! Probably so he can place the winning trophy in someone's hands whom he can trust with advancing his neocon agenda of world domination. CONSPIRACY!! Why do you hate freedom Jim? Terrorist! Nazi! Fascist pig! Puppy-kicking, jack-booted, menace!!

Posted by: shank at January 06, 2006 09:51 AM (+H1yK)

18 Shank You forgot cow teet sucker. I better shut up before he takes my points way. oh and thanks Phin

Posted by: Tiffani at January 06, 2006 12:04 PM (KE4Gu)

19 Well, I came close to the coveted number 1 spot with such Snooze Button Celebrities as Jeremy and Ilyka, but it's a new year. Watch out, y'all! I'm a contender!

Posted by: Trey Givens at January 08, 2006 10:29 PM (xYfsS)

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Points are awarded for the weird habits submitted to this post.

Winner (5 points): Jennifer
Sucking on giant cow udders.
Don't knock it 'til you've tried it.

First runner up (4 points, +1 for existing habit): diamond dave
Taking the pants off completely when doing the No. 2.
As some famous person once said "Would they be of silk still should these fetters chafe and bind". Last thing I need while sitting on the can is binding, I tell you what.

Second runner up (3 points): phin
Dressing up in Red Panties and parading around the office.
What's the normal color - blue?

Third runner up (2 points, +1 for existing habit): Victor
You have sex with your wife on a regular basis.
It's only "weird" if the barn fowl protests.

Honorable mention (1 point): Tiffani
Walking around with your shirt off.
I'm seldom without a shirt. Quite often I'm without pants but after the third time the ASPCA tried to "bag" me I made it a habit to always wear a shirt. more...

Posted by: Jim at 01:31 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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Victor here, announcing that several stealth points went unclaimed last year. Someone should tell you about them and it may as well be me because I offered them to y'all.

To be honest, the first point may or may not have qualified for stealth points. I sent Jim a note and he never replied, but I'll mention it here as a just-in-case. It was just last month, when my incredibly awesome caption won Jim's caption contest. In case you've forgotten, it was Fluffy the Hutt was not at *all* pleased when Han Solo had to dump the load of Triskelian Mice he was smuggling.

I'll get the obvious out of the way first: It was not the Star Wars references. Jim has stated that painfully obvious references, such as Monty Python, are not eligible for Snooze Points, and I suspect references to characters from Star Wars would qualify as painfully obvious. However, read it carefully...does anyone not remember Star Trek? Particularly hot alien babes? Particularly the blue-haired drill-Thrall hot alien babe Shana from The Gamesters of Triskelion? Anyway, "Triskelian Mice" got their name from this episode of Star Trek; I used "triskelian" because I needed an alien-sounding name.

(For the record, mice, rats, squirrels, rabbits, nor any other form of rodent figure in this episode not one bit.)

There was one other stealth point that could have been awarded. Since this was originally posted in October, you would have received one point for finding it, one point for finding it twenty-four hours after it was posted, and I would really have pressured Jim into awarding a third point if you had it right. See, when I told Jim about it, I was wrong.

Back in October, I titled a post His only crime was being born delicious! in reference to Phin smoking Jim's mascot. For some bizarre reason, I thought I got that phrase from a Simpson episode--the one with Pinchy the lobster--and that's what I told Jim.

A few weeks ago, that phrase was thrown in my face while I was re-watching one of my favorite Mystery Science Theater 3000, Manos: The Hands of Fate, when Crow T. Robot uttered that phrase during the invention exchange (The Chocolate Bunny Guillotine).

I would have accepted MST3K or Manos for that answer...after having the shock of reading it wake me up and get me to Google that phrase to make sure I was wrong.

So, there you go. Had Dafyd googled all of my post titles, he would have found that and ended up tied with Tiffani for Grand Snooze Points Champion of 2005. As it is, Tiffani stands highest on the podium, where she belongs.

Posted by: Victor at 04:04 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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Remember this SnoozePoints™ post from back in June? It's the one where y'all told me what presents you'd like if I won the lottery. I've kept it open pending my buying an actual lottery ticket. I've come to the conclusion that if I haven't purchased a lottery ticket in five and a half months it is pretty unlikely that I'll buy one in the next two weeks. Therefore I say screw the lottery and award the points!

There are seven winners in this contest: two each in three categories (3 points for winner, 1 for the also ran runner up) and the overall best (6 points). Without further ado, here they are:

Category: Real Presents
Winner, RP with a puppy.
Runner up, Rachel Ann with books. Lots of books.

Category: Humorous Gifts
Winner, Phin with porn sheep, evil clown and casual wear.
Runner up, Jeff with a baby buffalo for companionship and sustenance.

Category: Alcohol Related
Winner, Margi with tickets to Atlanta and beer.
Runner up, Simon with beer company stock.

The overall, number one winner
This was a runaway (bouncing) victory. Tiffani, with a boob job.

Congratulations all! With the SnoozePoints™ season coming to a close we've got quite a bit of movement on the back stretch. I'm considering accepting bribes.

Posted by: Jim at 03:01 PM | Comments (13) | Add Comment
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Just used this handy little utility to put up shank's email addy* in spamproofed format. It's over there on the sidebar in the "Authors" section now.

If you want to put your email address out there for people to use but hide it from spambots I strongly recommend running it through an encoder first. This one is the best that I've found.

* Everybody should send him a happy greeting.
Right now.
Really.
Copy me on it and I'll give you a Snooze Point**.

** Offer limited to one point per person. Void where prohibited by law. Odds of winning are approximately 1 to 1. Offer expires when shank threatens me with bodily harm.

Posted by: Jim at 06:20 AM | Comments (9) | Add Comment
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Well, not quite exactly the same. Snooze Button Dreams is now a multi-author blog. Shank and Paul are joining up as SBDs co-hosts. Give them both a warm Snoozy welcome!

Yay!

Okay then, let's take care of the questions:

Q: Why the multi-author thing?

A: I've been toying with the idea for quite some time. In typical form I procrastinated for months before finally deciding I had to shit or get off the pot. I decided to shit.

Q: But why?

A: A bunch of reasons. First and foremost is you, my lovely reader. It is incredibly flattering that I get hundreds of hits a day even when I post once a week like I have been lately. You deserve better than a post a week. Second, I think it's the way of the future. The incredible plethora of blogs out there means that individual blogs are getting less and less attention. By teaming up with other authors who have similar tastes this blog will hit higher on the attentionometer. Third, I view having direct authoritative input into the blog as a good thing. More ideas, hopefully better ones, will help SBD grow into its maturity. And beyond!

Q: Why Paul?

A: We fit well together. We have a similar sense of humor, compatible writing styles, and work well together. In fact, we work well enough together to co-author shorts. Remember Protomonkey?

Q: Why shank?

A: Mostly the death threats. He knows where I live.

Q: No, really.

A: Pretty much the same as with Paul. I've known him for a long time from his comments around the neighborhood and from his own blogs. He cracks my shit up. He's also able to go from poop humor to delicate insight in a single post. You gotta love that.

Q: So is this really a multi-person blog or are you just letting them post here?

A: It's really a multi-person blog now. Majority rules and all that happy stuff.

Q: What about my points?!

A: Points continue. shank and Paul will be handing them out too, if they want.

Q: Are you tossing the Snooze Crew™?

A: Nope. The Snooze Crew™ is a highly valued part of the site. Only now, any of three will be able to tap their mad blog skillz when needed.

Q: Can I join up too?

A: Nope. Not right now anyway. We need to get through the transition period and get comfy with managing a group blog before we consider taking on any more owners. Paul and shank have been doing it for a while but it's new to me. No big bumps are expected but, as Confucious say: Man who live in glass house should dress in basement.

Q: What the hell does that mean?

A: Nothing really. I was just trying to end this on a humorous note.

Q: You failed miserably.

A: Yeah, I know.

A: Hey! Look over there! Something shiny!

Posted by: Jim at 01:13 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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It's time to shake things up a bit. I've got some plans for the Snooze that I'll be implementing shortly. Can anybody guess what they are? I'll toss some points to the first person to nail them.

UPDATE: Phin guessed the big change. SBD will shortly be a multiple author blog. Yay! 5 points for Phin!

There are a couple of smaller changes that will be occuring, generally in support of the resident additions. I'll give a point each for each of the small ones if anybody guesses them by...um...what's today? Wednesday...all day meeting again...okay, we'll make the deadline Thursday morning my time. Guess either the small, yet important, changes to the blog and/or the identities of the new SBD partners and you'll get points.

The end of the year is coming soon...get those points while you can!

Posted by: Jim at 05:31 AM | Comments (40) | Add Comment
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1 Something where you post more often.

Posted by: pylorns at November 08, 2005 08:09 AM (FTYER)

2 Pylorns - No, nothing that radical. Sompopo - No dice. Cow porn is a given.

Posted by: Jim at November 08, 2005 08:17 AM (tyQ8y)

3 Guest blogging from Bear, Bacon, and Burger?

Posted by: Amy at November 08, 2005 08:41 AM (6FH9R)

4 A gay blog, it's becoming a gay blog!!! Wait that's already happened. Group blogging, you're bringing in co-host(s) to blog about bowel movements and other fun bodily functions.

Posted by: phin at November 08, 2005 08:56 AM (Xvpen)

5 A caption contest? I don't know something to do with the leader board because the year is almost over?

Posted by: Tiffani at November 08, 2005 10:21 AM (KE4Gu)

6 You're going to fire the Snooze Crew because they post about as much as you do?

Posted by: Victor at November 08, 2005 12:48 PM (L3qPK)

7 We're getting fired??? Well that totally bites; do we at least get severance pay? Preferably in Oreos or spam (the edible spam not the ever so unsatisfying electronic spam).

Posted by: phin at November 08, 2005 01:00 PM (Xvpen)

8 You're getting a sex change and/or replacing yourself with a female version of yourself?

Posted by: Oorgo at November 08, 2005 03:22 PM (lM0qs)

9 Better syndication - or to post syndication. Change in software - ie wordpress Change in snoozepoints... Automatic trivia... New layout leaving mu.nu

Posted by: pylorns at November 08, 2005 04:20 PM (FTYER)

10 Planning on retiring and giving rights and control to Snoozebutton Dreams to the best blogger? Or greatest fan? God, I hope I'm wrong. The points wouldn't be worth it.

Posted by: diamond dave at November 08, 2005 04:35 PM (IU9Y+)

11 Jezuz H...Jim out with it already. I'm getting cranky. Time to go home.

Posted by: Tiffani at November 08, 2005 04:54 PM (KE4Gu)

12 Amy - Unfortunately all three have shown zero interest. Phin - Dang, that was fast. Yup, the Snooze is engaged in an acquisition and there are going to be some new names on the author line. Can anybody guess who? Tiffani - There will be some point stuff but that goes under the "stuff Jim should have been doing anyway" category. "Blogging" would also be on that list. Victor - Hell no. The Crew™ was the life support of this blog for a month or more. Phin - If the Crew™ was getting fired there would definitely be severerance pay. I'd probably go to the equivalent of 5 weeks normal Crew™ salary. Oorgo - Nope. A sex change is right out. If I had my own boobs I'd never take my hands off of them. This would preclude blogging of any sort. Pylorns - nope, nope, nope, nope, nope and nope. diamond dave - I shall never retire! Not even when I turn all senile and end up typing strings of nonsensea;sdlfkjapsdiofn;lka ajs;ldfd[oiq;lw Tiffani - Sorry about that. I was in an all day meeting. The secret's out now. Sort of. There's still the "who" to guess. And the minor changes that nobody chanced on.

Posted by: Jim at November 08, 2005 05:33 PM (tyQ8y)

13 Might one of the new authors be none other than LW, aka The Brat?

Posted by: diamond dave at November 08, 2005 05:50 PM (IU9Y+)

14 Oh yeah, are you changing the name of the blog too?

Posted by: diamond dave at November 08, 2005 08:31 PM (yFpR7)

15 Letting the wife post more often? How about a penis pump?

Posted by: pylorns at November 08, 2005 11:19 PM (lXbab)

16 You've convinced Dopple-G to cut out the middle man and just blog here directly.

Posted by: Simon at November 09, 2005 01:57 AM (GWTmv)

17 Um, can I just say I don't really care -- as long as I get to "see" more of you? . . .I really miss you, Jim. *sniffle*

Posted by: Margi at November 09, 2005 02:47 AM (nwEQH)

18 Dude, ditto the Margi sentiment. If guest blogging is a synonym for "whoowee Bob, I don't have to hardly post no more" then I am coming over to kick your ass, not least because you are suddenly forgetting your roots and talking like Cletus, the Wonder Southerner. And I mean that in the NICEST way.

Posted by: Helen at November 09, 2005 03:01 AM (iSw6s)

19 diamond dave - Nope, LW is perfectly happy with her own place. Incidentally, there are some pictures up there now of our Indian encounters this past weekend. diamond dave - When I married one of my expectations was that my new wife would take my name. Blogging's pretty much the same deal. "Snooze Button Dreams" it shall remain. pylorns - She can post whenever she wants. And she doesn't want a penis pump. Simon - Unfortunately, except for a very short time quite a ways back, Dopple-G hasn't shown any interest in writing blogs. I say "unfortunately" because he's a decent writer and could be an excellent one if he practiced more. He does still reads 'em though. Margi - You certainly may say that. Fear not though - this won't be changing my own posting frequency. It will make the dry spells between those posts a bit easier to bear though. Helen - Not guest blogging, Helen my dear. Multi-author blog. But have no fear - just like I told Margi this move isn't about an excuse for me not to blog. Work, on the other hand, is a very effective excuse for me not to blog. But that's getting better too and the Holidays are coming up so my frequency tickling the keys should be doing better soon.

Posted by: Jim at November 09, 2005 05:27 AM (oqu5j)

20 Hmm, for guest bloggers I'm thinking shank or paul from Id's Cage. Or maybe you've found a why to pull Ilyka out of retirement? For changes, you're gonna give me the keys to SBD so I can fix the comment rememberer thingy.

Posted by: phin at November 09, 2005 09:56 AM (Xvpen)

21 Well, it sounds as if the Snooze Crew will not lose posting rights, so include me and Phinn in there. I would've guessed the ever-lovely Helen, but her comment sounds like, "No." Same thing with the just-as-lovely Tiffani. Hmmm... I'll guess your Flying Pig running mate Trey, and I'll also guess Boudicca.

Posted by: Victor at November 09, 2005 10:15 AM (L3qPK)

22 Ah, what the hell. I'll guess the Lovely Ladies of SBD: Tiffani and Helen. And also...you convinced Rachel Lucas to come out of whatever the heck limbo she's in right now.

Posted by: Victor at November 09, 2005 02:27 PM (L3qPK)

23 Dang! Phin is either intercepting my email or his lucky 8-ball is way more accurate than mine. Shank and Paul will be the new co-hosts. PS - I tried the comment remember fix but my comment templates are a bit different from the norm because of the multi-template setup. It wonked the hell out of the site when I tried it.

Posted by: Jim at November 09, 2005 05:53 PM (tyQ8y)

24 I love Victor for calling me the "ever lovely". Flattery soooooo works with me.

Posted by: Helen at November 10, 2005 04:12 AM (HwOOp)

25 Shank and Paul sounds way too much like a radio morning show. We're not gonna have to do Hawaiian shirt Friday's or anything, are we? And I'm not really prepared to be "wacky."

Posted by: Paul at November 10, 2005 07:39 AM (vbP6L)

26 "Shank and Paul" sounds more like a prohibited sex act to me. I can almost guarantee that there will be no wacky and strictly metered amounts of whimsy.

Posted by: Jim at November 10, 2005 08:23 AM (tyQ8y)

27 Jim, I had the same problem when I installed movable type, I filled out a support ticket: Hi, The reason that your "Remember personal info?" option is not working is likely to be the absence of a reference to the Site JavaScript template in your page. In the default Individual Entry Archive template, the section contains the following: mt-site.js"> This calls the mt-site.js file to the browser, which contains the code necessary to set and retrieve the cookies used to remember the commenters details. Additionally, I would recommend that you replace your tag with the following: This will ensure that if you enable TypeKey authenticated commenting, the necessary sign-in link will be visible, and those logged in to TypeKey greeted by their name. I hope this gets you pointed in the right direction. If you have any follow-up questions about this, please let me know. As per our Support Ticket Guidelines, we need to limit each ticket to a single issue, so I will need you to open a new ticket in the Help System for your query regarding categories. If you can provide additional information regarding exactly you wish to achieve there, that would also be helpful. Thanks! Additionally, in the future, please refrain from copying your templates or other large chunks of code into a ticket. In this case, just a link to one of your entry pages probably would have been sufficient to allow us to spot the problem. If you do wish to share your template code (or we request this), the best way to do so is to copy the information into a text file, upload to your server, and then provide a link to the file. That way we can view any pertinent information while keeping the ticket a readable length. You can find more information about our Support Ticket Guidelines here:

Posted by: pylorns at November 10, 2005 09:13 AM (FTYER)

28 Oops, the html screwed up the code.. script type="text/javascript" src="mt-site.js" /script imagine around it..

Posted by: pylorns at November 10, 2005 09:15 AM (FTYER)

29 Thanks, pylorns. I'll give that a look!

Posted by: Jim at November 10, 2005 09:32 AM (tyQ8y)

30 That should get him some points, no? That problem has irked me for a long time. Also, are these points redeemable for Delta Sky Miles? I tried to use mine last week and they had no idea who you were. A fight ensued, and they said something about taking my passport away. Can you give them a call?

Posted by: Paul at November 10, 2005 10:00 AM (vbP6L)

31 I love Victor for calling me the "ever lovely". Flattery soooooo works with me. Just stating a fact, ma'am. But now my gf is looking for you

Posted by: Victor at November 10, 2005 02:15 PM (L3qPK)

32 Yay the magic eight ball didn't fail me. It doesn't hurt that Big Brother is watching your every move. Quick look behind you, no the other way. Too late.

Posted by: phin at November 10, 2005 05:49 PM (DGPlf)

33 Yeah, i've learned more about movable type than i've ever wanted to know by implimenting wetwired...

Posted by: pylorns at November 11, 2005 09:08 AM (FTYER)

34 BTW, the title is a variation on a line from a Bob Dylan song. Or maybe the title...but you get the idea.

Posted by: Victor at November 11, 2005 10:38 AM (L3qPK)

35 Stealth points for Victor! It should be a single but I'm doubling it for passing the 24 hour+ mark.

Posted by: Jim at November 11, 2005 01:02 PM (tyQ8y)

36 Is there an ETA on the new hosts?

Posted by: phin at November 13, 2005 05:39 PM (DGPlf)

37 Will the new hosts be giving away points and can they be bribed with peanutbutter?

Posted by: phin at November 13, 2005 05:57 PM (DGPlf)

38 Yes and Maybe.

Posted by: Jim at November 13, 2005 11:14 PM (oqu5j)

39 Does my comments rememberer thingy work now?

Posted by: Jim at November 13, 2005 11:15 PM (oqu5j)

40 Nope.

Posted by: Jim at November 13, 2005 11:15 PM (oqu5j)

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one day he'll be called breakfast.

Posted by: phin at 04:06 PM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
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I haven't been posting much. The rather massive project I previously mentioned (the one that went nuclear) is demanding seriously large chuncks of my free time. Enough chunks where I've fallen behind on my blogreading by about 300 posts and haven't put out anything worthwhile here since my promotion came through.

So let's make it official - I'm on blog hiatus until things calm down and I get some of my free time back. For those of you who are calendar oriented that will be Aug 23 at the earliest (as the presentation to senior management is Aug 22).

In the meantime, anybody who has author rights here (hello, Snooze Crew&trade is encouraged to post. It's a shame to let this prime real estate lie fallow.

And I'll leave you with this little gem:

Burger: Girls don't have penises.

Lovely Wife: That's true. What do they have instead?

Burger: Belly buttons!

Posted by: Jim at 05:54 AM | Comments (11) | Add Comment
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1 My son finished 4th grade last May and during the last week of school that had some kind of a basic "sex-ed/health/make sure you wash your hands after you go to the bathroom" class. "The Wife" said you may want to talk to "H" too see if he has any questions. OK, hey "H" what did you learn about this last week? We learned that boys had penises and that girls had "Virginias". Virginias, I quickly ran back and told the wife it's all good.

Posted by: Frick at August 15, 2005 09:01 AM (Zw2NB)

2 good lord.

Posted by: pylorns at August 15, 2005 10:11 AM (FTYER)

3 Hopefully, Burger will learn different sometime. Not necesarilly *soon* but sometime.

Posted by: Victor at August 15, 2005 10:17 AM (L3qPK)

4 Yesterday he caught me again on the toilet.He said "are you peeing?" and I said YES.He goes "out of WHAT?Your butt?? Oh no!Your belly button!!!!!"Me....NO......he "OK,I am going to tell on you!!!Brotherrrrrrrrrrrrsssssssss!!!!!Mama is peeing out of her belly button!" It was also recently inquired if he may or may not be allowed to lick my boobs,followed by walking up to two of my friends and asking them where their boobs are......That kid's a PERVERT!!!!!

Posted by: LW at August 15, 2005 10:39 AM (oqu5j)

5 Could that possibly have anything to do with his father?

Posted by: diamond dave at August 15, 2005 04:19 PM (gkwrQ)

6 Double D, you sayin' Jim has an innie?

Posted by: Victor at August 15, 2005 08:12 PM (l+W8Z)

7 I wouldn't know that, but it seems that Jim's apples don't fall far from the tree...

Posted by: diamond dave at August 15, 2005 09:01 PM (zxjPs)

8 By apple do you mean undescended testicle? 'cause if you do thatÂ’s just mean.

Posted by: phin at August 15, 2005 09:43 PM (DGPlf)

9 Okay, I give up.

Posted by: diamond dave at August 15, 2005 11:16 PM (kt/ag)

10 i hate when you suck. ;-) :-P

Posted by: Pam at August 15, 2005 11:47 PM (PfGjA)

11 I'll have you know that all of my testicles are fully extended. I mean descended. My boys hang low.

Posted by: Jim at August 16, 2005 05:23 AM (oqu5j)

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...but I call it an opportunity to hand out some Snooze Points. I've made three changes at my own neglected blog, Publius & Co.. If you can tell me what the changes are, in the comments here at SBD, you will receive one Snooze Point for each change you point out. more...

Posted by: Victor at 10:57 AM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
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Trey wants to move to our neighborhood. Being inclined to rationality he's realized that Wordpress is icky and that Munuvians kick it old school. Heading to mucountry is a no-brainer once you nail down those two facts.

Anywho...head on over to his nomination thread and chime in.

Posted by: Jim at 10:36 AM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
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I last checked any of my blog stats, referrals, etc. I check the unique visitors for Zero Intelligence every 3 months or so in order to keep my BlogAds profile current but I have no reason to do anything similar for SBD. Every once in whenever I get an email from SiteMeter that says how many visitors I'm getting here but I can't remember the last time I bothered to open it. I haven't joined a carnival in forever.

I used to be a massive traffic whore and lived or died by my site stats. What's up here?

I'm not disaffected, I just don't care. I could be down to 50 visitors a day and it wouldn't bother me as long as they were the regular readers and friends I've made over the past year or two.

I'm in a happy place, blogwise, and that's pretty cool.

Posted by: Jim at 09:55 AM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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GreenZap, the alternative to PayPal, is set to launch on June 1. I think this is just too cool. I'm all about better capitalism through competition and until now PayPal was all alone in the ball park.

If you sign up for an account now you'll get a starting balance of $25. If you sign up through the link above I'll get a $5 signing bonus. There's no mention of if/when the $25 new account thing will go away but I expect it will shrink down to $5 or so at or around the launch. I'd much rather you get $25 than $5 so sign up now!

Posted by: Jim at 08:28 AM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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Welcome to the First Whenever Snooze Crew™ Awards. These awards recognize distinguished service in the line of duty with a Snooze Point (how come there's no ™ for Snooze Points?) for the best post in each category. Without further ado, here's the winners:

Best "Jokin Around" post goes to vw bug for this bit of Tasteless humor.

Best "News & Notes" article is awarded to Diamond Dave for You Have Been Chosen.

The best "Snooze Button Dreams" post was a steal by Phin with A memo from the boss

Post that should have been left in the "Deferred" category goes to Rob P for With my apologies.

Best "Match That Quote" post goes to Victor for Match that quote, special Snooze Crew edition!

Best True Stories post (even though nobody shared. you bastards.) is awarded to Denise for The Great Lengths One Will Go To.

And in the special non-category categories the winners are:

Diamond Dave for "Best Suck-up" post with his entry SBD's Greatest Hits (according to Jim's fans).

"Best Use of Non-sexual Imagery in a Sexual Context" goes to Phin for It's travel time. Alternately, this could have won for "Greatest failure of a trackback party in the history of the blogosphere".

Last, and most certainly least, is the "Best Post Poking Fun at Jim", which is awarded to Phin for A letter home from Jim.

Thank you and good night!

PS - The Snooze Crew™ roll of honor has been preserved in the sidebar blogroll. Yay!

Posted by: Jim at 10:01 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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Damn, what a mess! Rodent droppings under the blogroll, passed out gay midgets in the archive and I don't know what the hell that stain on the banner is. Sure tastes salty though...

The trip was a lot of fun, details to trickle out in the next couple of days. I've got over a hundred emails in the inbox and 450 posts in the newsreader. Expect my commenting to be light over the next couple of days.

Many thanks to the incomparable Snooze Crew™. I think my readership actually increased over the past week. Hmmm...I might have to do this again in the near future. I'll be handing out some bonus points for the best posts and hosts. Details, as they say, to follow.

In the meantime, any Crewmembers who awarded points please send me a tally and I'll update the list.

Posted by: Jim at 12:38 PM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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