Poor Jim. He leaves for a week, gives us the keys to the castle, and all we can do is humiliate him on his own blog.

I think us regulars ought to honor Jim instead by sharing our favorite SBD posts. Posts that make us laugh, cry, think, scream, mutter "whadafuk", spooge, hurl, etc. Who knows, several of us may mention the same posts.

My favorite post went something like this, I think: more...

Posted by: Diamond Dave at 09:44 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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But only if you answer this question: WWJD?*

*What Would Jim Do, dudes.

Posted by: Victor at 02:20 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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Fortunately I do know when I'll be back again. That would be next Monday. If you're expecting any posts from me before then, or on that Monday, or even the following Tuesday you'll likely be even more disappointed than you normally are when I actually post something.

So until Wednesday next I leave you in the competent capable enthusiastic hands of the Snooze Crew™:

Diamond Dave
Phin
Victor
Denise
Rob P
vw bug
Paul

Posted by: Jim at 09:31 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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I promised in my application to guest host I wouldn't start a comment party unless bribed by Harvey. Well Harvey hasn't bribed me yet, so I figured I'd host a TrackBack party, since we need something to track back to I figured an image would be a great idea. Now the only thing to ponder is the image.

Given Jim's preference for all things bird & boob (i.e.: the blue footed boobie) related I thought it best to go with a combination of both. So without further delay I present to you, Jim's purple hooter:

A picture of Jim's purple hooter is below in the extended entry and should be work safe. more...

Posted by: phin at 09:00 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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I'm not a man of wealth, nor of taste. Believe you me.

My name is Victor, and I'm helping trash Jim's blog while he's away. In the likely event you're not one of the six or so people who read my blog, you have no idea who I am, so by way of introduction, I'd like to post my answers to Jim's Guest Blogger Application. I confess I filled it out pretty much because I like to fill out forms, and less because I wanted to guest blog here. I mean, take a look at my blog--I hardly ever post there. more...

Posted by: Victor at 07:40 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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Well Jim isn't actually leaving until the 17th; but since he said we could start posting I figured what better way to send him off than with a picture?

So in the extended entry, Jim said to post pictures that may not be work safe in the extended entry portion, I've posted a picture of a hairy pecker. And it's even from Washington State, which is even more fitting since Jim's headed to Spokane.

* The picture should be work safe; it's not the hairy pecker you're thinking of pervo. more...

Posted by: phin at 03:34 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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I'm very happy to announce that I have a cadre of experienced motivated writers set to amuse and entertain you during my upcoming hiatus. For those of you unfamiliar with military parlance a "cadre" is, in this case, a half dozen. Unless you're talking about a baker's dozen, in which case a cadre is approximately 0.46153846153846153846153846153846 dozen. This is in no way related to "The Dozens", an urban game of insults dealing primarily with your mother. Yes, YOUR mother. It doesn't matter who's playing The Dozens, they're all talking about your mother.

Without further ado, allow me to introduce you to the Snooze Crew™:

We begin with frequent commenter and occasional SnoozeBob poster Diamond Dave. Dave's a local and I fear his FartBlast so he's in.

Next up is Phin. He's new to Munuviana but not to blogging. Any man who needs to actually point out that he could whoop Aquaman's ass needs all of the support he can get.

Victor's been a blogneighbor for eons. Victor likes rats and swimming in ladies underwear. I mean he likes rats swimming in ladies underwear. Victor himself seldom, if ever, engages in ladies underwear swimming. With rats.

Denise's hobbies include tormenting me in my comments and having sex. That's a winning combination if I ever saw one.

The coveted number five position (not to be confused with "The reverse wheelbarrow" which is also position #5 but in an entirely different context) goes to Rob. Rob isn't Rob from Xset but a completely different Rob. To avoid confusion, close one eye when you read Rob's name.

Rounding out the half dozen 0.46153846153846153846153846153846 dozen six is vw bug who I think is blogrelated to me through some sick twisted chromosonal chicanery of Harvey's. I'm not sure what the laws are regarding cohabitating with blogcousins but I'll be out of the place while she's here so I think it's legal. Especially in Virginia.

Snooze Crew™, I'll be sending each of you an email with account and login information where needed and restraining orders where appropriate. Probably not until Monday though as this weekend is supposed to be exceptionally fine weather and I need to suck up as much of that as possible before we go to Spokane.

One more thing - I forgot to mention this in the application post but these are paid positions. These motivated volunteers will all be earning some Snooze Points for their efforts.

Posted by: Jim at 01:40 PM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
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Check this out! Snooze Button Dreams is a gay blog. No joke - I've been indexed by Spidergay.

Denis (the Spidergay webmaster) sent me a very nicely written form email to give me the good news. They hope that my "indexation will provide you with a greater number of GLBT Internet surfers". How sweet is that? I am now eagerly awaiting an influx of glibbet surfers.

And guess who didn't show up in a search of their directory? That's right. Snooze Button Dreams is more gay than Trey Givens.com. Boo ya! In your face, Trey!

They also include a handy one press link if I want a deindexation but forget that. Traffic is traffic.

Wednesday is starting out to be a pretty cool day.

UPDATE: Victor thinks it might have been this post that got me indexed. That would be ironic since I was first accused of hating gays due to that post.

Posted by: Jim at 12:43 PM | Comments (25) | Add Comment
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1 Jim, it's refreshing to see someone so supportive of their blog's lifetsyle. I've seen too many bloggers become ashamed, embarrassed, or even completely disown their blogs upon the discovery that they're gay. You're a good man Jim, and a great blogger.

Posted by: shank at May 04, 2005 10:11 AM (+H1yK)

2 Ok...THIS is funny! Yay you for more traffic. (you're such a traffic whore!) :-P

Posted by: Pam at May 04, 2005 11:01 AM (AVAIa)

3 Well shank, I see it as a free and open choice. I might not fully understand my blog's choice but I can still support its decision. Pam - Thanks for putting "traffic" in there. ;-)

Posted by: Jim at May 04, 2005 11:07 AM (tyQ8y)

4 I'm sorry that it didn't give you the option of being a Metrosexual blogger, but maybe it was all the posts about your days with the boys in the Navy, that tipped the balance!

Posted by: RP at May 04, 2005 11:42 AM (LlPKh)

5 I think it was that time you fantasized you were gay.

Posted by: Victor at May 04, 2005 12:25 PM (L3qPK)

6 Hey, now. I was NOT fantasizing that I was gay. I was regretting that I wasn't gay. Big difference there. That would be a bit ironic. I got my first "you bastard, you hate gays" mail from that post.

Posted by: Jim at May 04, 2005 12:39 PM (tyQ8y)

7 Your blog is gay? Dude, that is SO gay! :-P

Posted by: Harvey at May 04, 2005 01:54 PM (tJfh1)

8 The green eyed beast raises it's head. It's like, so obvious, Harv.

Posted by: Jim at May 04, 2005 01:55 PM (tyQ8y)

9 What a blow it will be to your wife's blog....

Posted by: Claire at May 04, 2005 06:58 PM (l1oyw)

10 Yeah. I wonder how the kid's blog will react.

Posted by: Jim at May 04, 2005 07:16 PM (MDLz3)

11 I don't want to rain on your Mardi Gras but I also got indexed by spidergay. Which says a lot about both of us.

Posted by: Simon at May 04, 2005 08:39 PM (OyeEA)

12 It does explain that certian "bond" that we share.

Posted by: Jim at May 04, 2005 09:19 PM (MDLz3)

13 There's a difference? That must be too subtle for my hetero-sports/beer/boobs-thinking straight guy mind to grasp. Don't bother trying to 'splain it to me; you'll bore me and I'm reading the sports page right now, anyway. Harvey is definitely jealous. That's why he's sticking his tongue out.

Posted by: Victor at May 05, 2005 07:49 AM (L3qPK)

14 Ok. This is an outrage. A travesty. There is no possible WAY you're gay. I saw you wearing strappy man sandals! FIRST of all, Harvey is mine. SECOND, you don't have nearly enugh indignation to be gay. Do you hear the sound of my high-pitched voice right now? THIS is indignation and I've half a mind to call those defamation CLU whatevers on you. I might actually have to attend some kind of protest over this. THIRD, that other post makes ME wish I was gay.

Posted by: Trey Givens at May 05, 2005 08:58 AM (yaMs/)

15 I'm not gay, but my blog is. Oh, wait. Try this one: Some of my favorite blogs are gay. Or this one?: I don't mind gay blogs but sometimes I feel uncomfortable around them. Oh, the stereotypes are running rampant today!

Posted by: Jim at May 05, 2005 09:06 AM (tyQ8y)

16 I actually think my blog hanging out with your blog is good for my blog. You know, exposes it to different things, expands its horizons and increases tolerance; shows it that just because one blog is different from another doesn't mean it's not a blog anymore. We're building bridges here people, bridges.

Posted by: shank at May 05, 2005 09:47 AM (+H1yK)

17 Trey - 'fraid you'll have to arm-wrestle my wife for me. Google images "wife arm". She's the #1 hit. Then decide whether I'm worth it...

Posted by: Harvey at May 05, 2005 01:12 PM (tJfh1)

18 I have really skinny arms and I'm opposed to working out. Surely, there is something I have that you wife wants and is willing to negotiate about. Harv, don't you remember that fateful night in the hospital? How could you give up so easily on our love?

Posted by: Trey Givens at May 05, 2005 01:19 PM (yaMs/)

19 Before contemplating battling TNT you should seriously consider what you're fighting over.

Posted by: Jim at May 05, 2005 01:28 PM (tyQ8y)

20 See, for guys to joke about the gayness, it's considered humor and not something that other people want to watch. If women talk about munching the pink taco, then all we get is men rushing up begging us to set up bleacher seating. The dichotomy. It kills me.

Posted by: Helen at May 05, 2005 03:47 PM (AabhR)

21 Mmmm...tacos....

Posted by: Jim at May 05, 2005 03:59 PM (tyQ8y)

22 Helen, if you're offering seats, sign me up. It's part of my research on how other gay blogs work... Will this be an interactive demonstration? Please?

Posted by: Simon at May 05, 2005 09:04 PM (OyeEA)

23 Helen, whattaya talk? Although I have strict rules about who I want to watch, I take my manlove very seriously. I would even say *Enthusiastically.* Harvey would be so lucky!

Posted by: Trey Givens at May 06, 2005 08:27 AM (yaMs/)

24 Oh all right. Bleacher seating it is. But I am so charging admission.

Posted by: Helen at May 06, 2005 10:22 AM (AabhR)

25 This could be a hot ticket item, folks. Order early!

Posted by: Jim at May 06, 2005 10:37 AM (tyQ8y)

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In this post I posed the following question:

Once is luck,

Twice is coincidence,

Three times is a charm,

What is four times?

The clues I gave to the correct answer were that it was work related, I came up with this in a business meeting and that the answer could be gleaned from my previous posts about work. The correct answer is "Four times is a process".

I was hired here as a QA Specialist and the vast bulk of my first months was spent designing and implementing processes for Development. For the last month I've been designing and implementing processes for Project Management as well as taking on my own Business Analysis and Project Management tasks. I came up with this little saying during a meeting on those processes to make a point that it isn't enough to say what we are going to do and how we are going to do it. We actually have to DO IT like that and we can't consider it a success process until it has been verified by actual repetitive successes.

If anybody has any experience with change management (getting people to do something differently than they have been) you probably have a fair idea of how difficult it can be to get people to "follow the plan". It's where the term "herding cats" comes from.

Anyway, there were some great guesses and points shall be awarded!

Third Place (1 point): vw bug
Four times is... one partner too many.

Second Place (3 points): Oorgo
Four times is... repetitious.

First Place (5 points): shank
Four times is... the fine line between persistence and harrasment.

And a bonus point each for the folks who tried to find the business angle:

vw bug for ...only good for brainstorming.

knpepper for ...a project plan complete with willing project sponsor;
a real budget with real money; and real target audiences.

Wendy for ...a contract.

Helen for ...a promotion.

Posted by: Jim at 08:44 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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1 Oh I won! First Place! You really LOOOOVE me don't you? Oh joyful day!

Posted by: shank at April 22, 2005 09:24 AM (+H1yK)

2 "Cheating" isn't a business angle?

Posted by: Victor at April 22, 2005 10:14 AM (L3qPK)

3 Yipee! Someone else likes my odd sense of humor. ;-)

Posted by: vw bug at April 25, 2005 08:08 AM (FTNvS)

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The aftereffects of SnoozeBob Day will last for months. Or weeks maybe. Days? Okay, the aftereffects pretty much fizzled away mere moments after SnoozeBob Day ended.

But the points remain!

Here are the points awarded for the many guest posts:

1 point for Most painfully honest post goes to Lovely Wife for "Have I?"

2 points for Most blatant link whorage goes to Rob for "Do I still have time?"

3 points for Best impersonation of one of Jim's posts goes to pylorns for "Movie Quotes Time"

1 point for Post exposing the truth about French culture goes to Rob for "Because I always do as Jim orders"

2 points for Funniest depressing post goes to shank for "While the Cat's Away..."

-1 point for Post causing Jim the most real pain goes to dafyd for "Annoying German Pop"

1 point for Best combination of high tech and reprodutive organs goes to Dave for "C'est l'Oorgo, oui!"

5 points for Post exposing the most mangina goes to diamond dave for "Always wanted to ask this..."

My thanks to all of the guest posters!

Posted by: Jim at 08:58 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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1 Yay with the pointage and the prestige of being the biggest whore on SBD!

Posted by: Rob at April 22, 2005 06:17 AM (kXZI6)

2 You suck.........ONE lousy point!;-P

Posted by: LW at April 22, 2005 02:40 PM (MDLz3)

3 Tsk tsk... 5 points for Mr. Mangina and only 1 for the Lovely Wife? Awwww, I'm touched Actually, I tend to get more votes as a wienie than a pussy...

Posted by: diamond dave at April 22, 2005 04:42 PM (DqtzB)

4 Nooo... my points, my beautiful points

Posted by: Dafyd at April 23, 2005 04:45 AM (vvjtG)

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Update: Thanks for playing! SnoozeBob is back in his cage.

I'm off to Denver today so I've brought Snoozebob out to play!

Snoozebob comes around when I am especially lazy am so burdened by other committments that I can't attend to my normal bloggish duties and he throws the doors open for y'all to abuse the Snooze guest post. It's easy as pie. Just go here and log in with username and password "snoozebob".

The door will be open until tomorrow morning. You can post just about whatever you want as long as it isn't spammy or overtly francophilish. There are a couple of things to remember though:

1. Don't do something so stupid that I or one of my proctors will have to ban your ass.


2. Put your name in there so we know who wrote what. In the title is the best place, as a header or in closing work too.


3. If you have a blog don't forget to whore it out here include a link.


4. For the category, please choose "SnoozeBob".

Enjoy!

(This post will stay at the top as long as open posting is enabled.)

POINTS: When I close guest posting I'll hand out some points based on which posts I thought were the funniest/most meaningful/bestest. It might be in categories or an overall list - not sure at the moment.

Posted by: Jim at 08:00 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Number of posts in my aggregator after wiping out the ones from a couple blogs I'm probably going to drop because I just can't keep up with all of the blogs on my blogroll any more.

Maybe I'll move 'em out to an "On deck" blogroll.

(And no, if you are reading this I can just about guarantee that it's not your blog I'm talking about. Relax already.)

Posted by: Jim at 03:46 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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1 Just think-you'll be able to claim that Hooked on Phonics made you a faster reader! PS-thanks for the paranoia-smasher footnote you added. I felt my blood pressure go up before reading it.

Posted by: Helen at April 15, 2005 08:46 AM (Oxw5k)

2 And no, if you are reading this I can just about guarantee that it's not your blog I'm talking about. Oh, but it could be me. Yes, it could. And if it isn't, I think you should dump me regardless, on account of how scoldy I am.

Posted by: ilyka at April 15, 2005 09:07 PM (7NoCM)

3 But I like Scoldy. That's my second favorite dwarf, after Stabby.

Posted by: Jim at April 15, 2005 09:51 PM (MDLz3)

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Going to UGA today, busy weekend, will be in Chicago Monday and Tuesday.

See y'all Wednesday.

Posted by: Jim at 07:10 AM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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Thought I forgot all about updating for this one, didn't you? Well, you were right. But fortunately Outlook didn't forget and successfully pestered me into doing it today.

The Points board is current for everything that's closed and there's still one contest post open for those looking to increase their totals.

Posted by: Jim at 03:59 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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1 I'll byte. Which contest is open? I did some searching and must just be blind.

Posted by: vw bug at April 01, 2005 04:28 PM (rhlNH)

2 This one!

Posted by: Jim at April 04, 2005 09:51 AM (tyQ8y)

3 Damn, I missed that post. Oh well next time.

Posted by: pylorns at April 04, 2005 10:16 AM (FTYER)

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[crickets chirping]

Yeah. Well, you see...um...

When the folks were down visiting I dug out a CD-ROM for them so they could install a perfectly legal copy of MS Office on their new computer. While searching for said CD-ROM I also came across my long lost CivIII and CivIII Play The World CDs*.

Sorry about that.

If you don't understand the connection between finding these CDs and the quietness of this blog ask Ilyka. She'll fill you in.

Posted by: Jim at 08:44 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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Anybody out there care to design a site? My friend Amy from work is about to start a weblog. She knows basic html but little CSS and no MT and could definitely use some help from the magnificent talent that runs around here.

Rob is my go-to guy because of his mad design skillz but I've got him tied up pretty well already with a redesign for Zero Intelligence.*

She's looking for a simple, attractive design. Here's the skinny on the site focus (from the post linked above):

Her site will serve as a resource collection for abused kids and parents who need help. The blog posts will be news items and editorial/Op-ed pieces related to the same topic. Overall, very similar to Zero Intelligence so take a look over there to see what she's aiming for.

So who's volunteering?

* Then again, Amy wouldn't mind waiting a little bit if necessary. So Rob, if you want to queue her up feel free to jump on this fantastic offer too! No, wait. It's not a fantastic offer. It's more work. Let me rephrase that:

So Rob, if you want to prove beyond a doubt how masochistic you are, feel free to jump right on this and queue her up!

Yeah, that's a bit more realistic. ;-)

Posted by: Jim at 11:14 AM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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The tombstone contest is complete. There were four entries and four finishers so everybody wins! Putting them in 'best' order was hard enough with just four. There's just something about grave markers that makes me smile. Must be my rampant morbidity.

Anywho, on to the results:

First place, with a prize of 5 points, goes to Jen. The beautifully morbid self reference put me in mind of the classic stones at Tombstone. She really stole the show with this one:

(Click for big size)

Second place, with a 3 point prize goes to Frick. Frick went rebel with this one, profaning the ease of the tombstone generator to photoshop a message for the cockroaches of the internet:

(Click for big size)

Third place, for 2 points, is VW with a line from my favorite Monty Python skit:

(Click for big size)

Fourth place, for an additional point, is Frick again. This one came in last because it has far too great a chance of actually happening in the real world:

(Click for big size)

Congrats, y'all! The point board will be updated around lunchtime.

Posted by: Jim at 08:49 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Somehow I pooched a recent post and lost my liveblogging of the power outage at work. Uncharacteristically I don't have a notepad file for it because it was all short updates.

My misfortune is your good fortune!

Here's what you need to do:

In Internet Explorer go to File in the menu bar and select "Work Offline". Other browsers will be similar.

Open the problem child post.

If you see a full and beautiful post with time marks on the individual entries you are looking at my lost baby. Copy the text and send it to me.

Those of you with newsreaders may also have the full post in your readers.

First person who retrieves the post gets 5 points!

This will only work if you happen to be one of the 30 or so people who saw the full post before I mangled it. Hopefully it still exists in one of your caches.

Update: dafyd wins! Yay!

Posted by: Jim at 03:41 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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Tiffani wins first prize for the Bumper Sticker contest. She was the only entrant but she was the obvious winner right off the bat. Probably why nobody else bothered to challenge her. After all, how can you improve upon perfection?

Five points for Tiffani!

Clancy has revealed his news. He's married and pregnant! Luckily, so is GF. The big winner of the Guess Clancy's News contest was me. Hah! I rule!

I'd like to thank the Academy, my agent and all of the people who didn't guess as well as I did.

My points are a bit reduced though as Helen, Kathleen and Holly each extorted a point from me. What can I say? I'm helpless against the power of estrorage*.

That clears the docket for points posts at the moment but we'll get some more up soon. I've got a Shamming/Sharing in the works and an excellent photo for a caption contest.

* I've proven to be quite the coward in this regard so threats upon my life will continue to be paid off with my personal points until they are depleted.

Posted by: Jim at 07:44 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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I found this over at LeeAnn's Cheesy Castle of Doom ^(TM). Ralex Whitlock (what sort of name is "Ralex" anyway?*) made a list of ten things that he thinks bloggers do wrong. A list of common failings, if you will. LeeAnn did a self-analysis against the list and, since I'm nothing if not a slave to rule number 1, I have too:

1. Only link to what we've already read and only say what we've already heard.

Nah. A goodly bit of my stuff is original and I don't go around parroting people via links.

2. False modesty.
False modesty? Moi? Hehe. Hahaha. Mwah hah hah hah hah!!
Um...no.

3. Clearing the archives.
Nope again. All of my tripe is out there for your enjoyment. Actually it would be a great benefit and increase usability quite a bit if bloggers (like me) cleaned out half of the garbage in their archives. more...

Posted by: Jim at 11:40 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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1 As for the site, the reason I put it there is because people were confused as to why the heck the site was called RAWbservations, so it makes my initials more clear. Though really I've been putting the "R." in front of my name pretty much by habit at this point. Any time I sign a check or credit card receipt I put it on there to explain the discrepency between the name I'm signing and the name I'm using. I used to sign one or the other depending on which name they needed, but that got tedious. Ultimate point being that unless I legally change my name, it's more difficult to get rid of the first name than the middle one.

Posted by: Ralex at February 17, 2005 01:05 PM (TS8P4)

2 I'm guilty of number 7 and number 10. I read certain blogs that appeal to me but there are a number of "top rated" blogs that I've only been to once and learnt it wasn't for me. I don't often comment in my own comments simply because I am either away from my pc, or I am not so posh that I think anyone cares about my comments. I get annoyed when you see bloggers comment in their site when they've obviously been away for a while and feel they must address each and every commenter like: Adrian-Thanks, buddy!!!!!!!!!!! Tonsilhockey-((((HUGS)))) Janine- You go girl! Whippetlover-ROTFL! PeteyTeenyTiny-I so agree!!!!!!!!! Yeah. That kind of thing. I hate that crap. If you have nothing to comment to the comment, then just don't.

Posted by: Helen at February 18, 2005 02:14 AM (9jsh4)

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