I got a very nice email from Tre at 21st Century Paladin. He complimented me on my site, told me he had blogrolled me and asked me to look at his site to see if I liked it and maybe put him on my own blogroll if I did. Happy to oblige Tre.

But this got me to thinking about my blogroll. How do sites get on my blogroll? Well, I'll tell you.

But first, allow me to present my excuses. I am a terrible template updater. It's not in my genes. I'm in software QA because I like to break programs. I am an inherent danger any time I open a template. I am a destroyer of bytes, not a creator. What I'm saying is I don't update my blogroll very often.

Excuse number two is that although the blogs I read are the ones on my blogroll I don't read blogs with my blogroll. I use a newsreader. If a site doesn't have a feed the chances that it will ever get to my blogroll are pretty slim to non-existent. Oh, I know that there are loads of excellent sites out there without RSS feeds. My heart bleeds a little bit every time I think of all of the great stuff I'm missing. However, real life has shown that I seldom, if ever, remembered to (or bothered to if I did remember) actually go read blogs outside of the ones in my newsreader.

So what happens to a prospective blog is I'll put it in the newsreader and follow it for a while. If it bores me or pisses me off I delete it. If it's still there when I update my blogroll it becomes one of the elite and gets put in the correct alphabetic order.

Tre, you're up there in the pending section right now. So far, so good.

Posted by: Jim at 03:16 PM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
Post contains 325 words, total size 2 kb.

Ilyka made the 5,000th* comment on Snooze Button Dreams. It was a Happy New Year wish too, so that makes it extra special.

Ilyka, you win a year's supply of air and all the toilet paper in your house. Congratulations!

* Not counting the 10 or 11 thousand spam comments that have been deleted.

Posted by: Jim at 08:04 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 60 words, total size 1 kb.

So I joined BlogExplosion*. It's a nifty idea. You surf through blogs and accumulate points which are then spent to direct other surfers to your blog. You spend 30 seconds on a blog to get credit for viewing it.

One notable problem is that although surfing through the blogs takes a manual click there's nothing to stop people from keeping the surfing window open and just returning to it periodically to click to the next blog without ever giving a site even a cursory look. Oh, well. There are asses in every crowd, no sense crying about it.

The cool thing is that you might actually find a couple of blogs that you like. I've got a half dozen in the evaluation stage now. That's sweet.

Another sucky thing is that you get exposed to a whole lot of absolutely horrible blogs. True garbage, presented on a bed of skank with a side of rotten. After a short while surfing I've identified several instant elimination criteria. Any blog that pops up with any of these gets clicked off right away. Yeah, that means no credit for viewing but my browsing time is limited and I'm not about to look at a piece of crap for half a minute when there might be something worthwhile right around the corner.

So what are these items that ring the death knell for Jim's surfing? I'm glad you asked!

Black backgrounds with blue text. Or any dark background with any dark text. Any light background with light text too for that matter. If I have to highlight text in order to read it the site is dead to me. Ditto for obscuring background graphics.

Yet another female blogger set up with a pink background. Sorry, it's just too trite and common. I'm sure there are many fine pink-backgrounded blogs out there but the vast majority of these are full of inane posts and whining about terrible fate and the vagaries of being misunderstood.

The first post is a health complaint. Or the title is something along the lines of "My life with incurable rectal stenosis" or "My battles with chronic depression". Don't get me wrong now, I'm a compassionate person - I've got compassion leaking out of every orifice. I'm very interested in the travails of my friends and acquaintances. From them it is sharing and support. From strangers it is just depressing. Think of it this way; if you were on the subway and you had the choice between talking with the depressed guy with facial ulcers or the well spoken and cheerful accountant you'd probably pick the accountant. Unless you had some sort of ulcer fetish of course.

The first post is hard-line partisan. Strident tones from the right, left or middle. I like reading political commentary and opinions from every side but I'm fed up with the temper tantrums. Instant site failure.

sk8r kr@p. If u t1pe l1ke dis ur s1te sukz.

Too much crap in the sidebars. For the love of all that is holy, don't have so much crap on your site that it can't possibly load in 30 seconds over a T1 line. Animations, massive graphics, a hundred link buttons, busted java scripts, clutter, geegaws and toys. A weather pixy with a tagboard will get me off of a site faster than Michael Moore downs a Krispy Kreme.

And that's about it. It just comes down to the essentials really: have a site that is easy to load and navigate and doesn't immediately turn me off with depressing or angry content. And yes, I know that on any given day my site would fail one or more of these criteria. That's okay though, I already have the best readers in the world.

* Sign up with BlogExplosion through this link and I'll get 'points' as your referrer. That would be cool and would put a big smile on my depressed ulcerated face.

Posted by: Jim at 11:44 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
Post contains 656 words, total size 4 kb.

Comments are going to be just a touch different now. In an effort to defeat the spambots I've implemented this solution (pointed out by Pylorns). You'll need to preview comments before you can post them now.

Hopefully this, along with the comment script hiding that Pixy has already done, will keep these sumbitches at bay until I can move to MT3.

Posted by: Jim at 10:21 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 67 words, total size 1 kb.

I'm under a constant stream of crapspam bombardment. I started to go through entries one by one to turn commenting off but that is just this side of ridiculous seeing as I have a bonifide shitload of posts.

How the fuck can I turn all commenting off on an MT blog?

Posted by: Jim at 09:13 PM | Comments (8) | Add Comment
Post contains 71 words, total size 1 kb.

Protomonkey is reborn!

Protomonkey was my attempt to goad myself into writing more and better. Being the stubborn SOB that I am, I was unable to force myself to do so and the site languished. It has now risen like the monkey from the flames, changed into a new and stronger site.

What, you might ask me, is this wonderful new concept? Well, I say to you, it is now a group blog. It will be a collective home for any creative writing. Short stories, anecdotes, essays, you name it, it's welcome. For a more complete (and dare I say humorous) introduction see the FAQ.

Joining is simple. Just comment in the FAQ thread or send me an email and mention that you'd like to be a contributor. If you don't have my email address you can get it from the sidebar here or just contact your friendly neighborhood spammer. Apparently they've all got it.

So what are you waiting for? Get over there and look around. My short stories are posted over there and there's already a second protomonkey churning out goods for you.

Posted by: Jim at 08:21 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 201 words, total size 1 kb.

Well my friends I'll be incommunicado until Thursday as I brave the bitter cold wastes of Chicago. Fortunately my hotel connects to our office building so at least I won't be freezing my nads off walking to work.

Whilst I'm gone avail yourselves of this space, so generously granted by yours truly, to toss out ribald bon mots, incessant chatterings and other nuggets of your literary genius. I'll be quite sad if there aren't at least a half dozen terrifically naughty jokes here when I get back.

Coming next week:

Rebirth of the ProtoMonkey

Another caption contest

The political party startup

Possible anecdotes about the Chicago trip

Posted by: Jim at 06:00 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
Post contains 121 words, total size 1 kb.

The 2004 Weblog Awards polls are now open, featuring yours truly and quite a few of the folks in my sidebar. I pulled out all of the Munuvians who made the cut and posted that over at the central Munuviana blog.

The campaigning and politicking for votes promises to be fierce. You won't find that here, of course. As exemplified by our failed presidential campaign, I am an incredibly lazy politician with almost no skills whatsoever in successful campaigning.

So without further ado, here's who you should vote for. Voting for other people in these contests will make me sad. I could possibly enter a pouting state if things get bad enough. You can (and should!) vote once each day in each poll. The poll category lines link to the actual polls, the blog names link to the blogs. You're probably reading all of these regularly anyway but I've included the links just in case.

BEST ONLINE COMMUNITY
Munuviana

BEST ASIAN BLOG
Simon World

BEST AUSTRALIA OR NEW ZEALAND BLOG
Ambient Irony

BEST OF THE TOP 100 - 250 BLOGS***
Bad Example
Patriot Paradox

BEST OF THE TOP 500 - 1000 BLOGS*
Snooze Button Dreams - This is the most important one!

BEST OF THE TOP 1000 - 1750 BLOGS**
Everyday Stranger
Boudicca's Voice

BEST OF THE TOP 1750 - 2500 BLOGS
Ravings of a Corporate Mommy

BEST OF THE TOP 5000 - 6750 BLOGS
Ilyka Damen

* Jen would have been in this category if she made the cut. Since she didn't get in due to some administrative oversite, thus giving me some small chance of victory a guarantee of victory in the face of all other blogs, I'm pledging to share my award with her if when I win.

** Both of these lovely ladies fell into the same category. Voting for either of them will make me happy. You do want me to be happy, don't you?

*** Similar to the ladies, supporting either of these two gents is goodness incarnate. Yeah, I know that this third footnote is referenced first. It came on an edit, okay? Live with it.

Posted by: Jim at 03:39 PM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
Post contains 359 words, total size 3 kb.

1 Goddamn that NZ Bear. Do you know how many times I've submitted my URL change for my weblog? And NOTHING. He will NEVER change it. That's why I'm nominated for the best 5000-6750 block--it's http://ilyka.journalspace.com that the ranking is based on. Or that's my excuse, anyway.

Posted by: ilyka at December 02, 2004 04:37 PM (bj0Lb)

2 I am so rankled at not bein' nominated in any category that I am abstainin' from votin' in this fiasco, 'cept that I will vote daily for Munuviana to show my support for the community that so lovin'ly ignores me. It's almos' 'zactly like my real life.

Posted by: Tig at December 02, 2004 06:03 PM (G5PGV)

3 Just so you know, I'd comment here more often if you'd just give me a freaking cookie. Is it that much to ask? Anyway, since I nominated you (along with the lovely Simon, but I did it first), it'll be just like winning when you win. Better than losing to you, as I surely would have done.

Posted by: Jennifer at December 02, 2004 06:35 PM (uItZd)

4 So, Ilyka - playing the southpaw are we? I see how you are. Professional blogsharp we've got in our midst. ;-)

Posted by: Jim at December 02, 2004 07:24 PM (GCA5m)

5 Pray, do not mock me! I looked again and I guess now there's a bit of code or something you add to your old url to auto-update the Ecosystem. It should have worked by tomorrow if it's going to work at all. And then I'm gonna ask Aylward to pull me from the nominees entirely because I sure don't need that bastard Paul laughing at me. "5000-6750, hee hee!" Oh, wait. I yelled at Aylward once for linking 13 year-old girl masturbation videos, didn't I? I gotta quit burning those bridges.

Posted by: ilyka at December 02, 2004 10:49 PM (197aV)

6 Just wanted to mention that fellow Munuvian Nick of Patriot Paradox is also in the 100-250 category. Which means we have both good and bad completely covered Now we just need to find an ugly blog...

Posted by: Harvey at December 03, 2004 11:53 AM (tJfh1)

7 Doh! Darned that non "mu.nu" url! Second time that one's tripped me up. Is fixed.

Posted by: Jim at December 03, 2004 12:06 PM (tyQ8y)

Hide Comments | Add Comment

RP inquired about Protomonkey a few days ago. There's been one post in the past 3 months and he was wondering when I might put up something new. I didn't answer right back because I really didn't have an answer.

The purpose behind Protomonkey was to separate my creative writing (tall tales, short stories, essays) from the rest of the stuff here at Snooze Button Dreams. I thought that if I set up a separate site with a goal of posting one item a week it would get me back into the habit of writing that type of work. Well, it didn't work very well.

Turns out that type of work either comes or it doesn't. I'm an abysmally poor 'on demand' type of writer. When the muse is with me the stuff pours out. When the fickle bitch smacks her ass on the way out the door I end up staring at a blinking cursor.

In my mind Protomonkey had failed. In fact when I posted that recent short story it went here without even a thought of putting it on the 'classy' blog. Can I force it to work? No, I don't really think so. I'm just not a performance writer. I'm not dogging myself here, I'm just acknowledging that my writing style isn't conducive to a regularly scheduled metered output.

If I just post the Protomonkey-type stuff when it happens to get written that site will never attract a following. People just don't follow a site that is scantily and infrequently updated. It would be a waste of effort to put my gems in a location where few if any people will read them.

So Protomonkey is doomed? Maybe not. I'm not the only blogger out there who writes the occasional story. Protomonkey could succeed as a team blog, if it had a decent amount of support. So here's my idea:

1) Protomonkey becomes a group blog.
2) Posts can be short stories, tall tales, creative works, etc. or links to the same type of post on other blogs.
3) Members can therefore post their own stuff or link to their own stuff or that of the people who they read.
4) Membership would be figuratively unlimited. In the event that it gets too big and unwieldy we can deal with such happy fate at a later date.

Thoughts? Comments? Anybody care for a mint?

Posted by: Jim at 12:31 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
Post contains 404 words, total size 2 kb.

Clancy sent me a note about a poll in yesterday's print edition of USA Today:

USA Today, print edition (I couldn't find it online, but I only looked for a few minutes) in the Life section - they have a mini-poll. Anyway, the results of the mini-poll say that 60% of the respondents don't hit the snooze button and thus have no idea what your blog is about...

I'm ever the optimist though. To me that says that 40% of respondents owe me fealty as well as numerous presents.

Of course a realist would just say that 100% of the respondents wasted several seconds of their life answering a meaningless poll but we'll ignore the realists but they'd no doubt have a similar comment about the people reading this post.

By the way, Clancy, your blog is looking as empty as Bill Clinton's bag of morals. 60% of your readers want some more stuff from GF. The other 40% are too busy taking polls to notice. ;-)

Posted by: Jim at 01:05 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
Post contains 177 words, total size 1 kb.

Snoozebob got the juice!

(Yanked off the Cheesemistress's quivering thighs.) more...

Posted by: Jim at 12:30 PM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
Post contains 68 words, total size 5 kb.

1 *making note of the foreplay remark so as to have actual useful proof it DOES exist, GM1, you lying bugger you* James, I am impressed. Particularly about the quivering thighs part... who told?

Posted by: LeeAnn at November 19, 2004 12:24 PM (vqSdN)

2 I'm a lecher with over 30 years experience, LeeAnn. I never miss a quivering thigh. ;-)

Posted by: Jim at November 19, 2004 01:13 PM (tyQ8y)

3 If the time in bed refers to sleeping, then this quiz is pretty darn accurate for me...

Posted by: diamond dave at November 19, 2004 04:35 PM (5qKGR)

4 It's a good one, but here's a little secret, gents: sometimes, we like a quickie. Oh yes. We love the men that go for hours. We love the marathon sessions. But sometimes, just stop drilling us and give us a raunchy 5 minutes. Really. It does the job just as well sometimes.

Posted by: Helen at November 20, 2004 03:29 AM (AeGVs)

5 Of course, I wouldn't trade my Sunday afternoons for anything. You know. Just in case someone was reading something into my post. There's a reason that women can scream like they do, after all. Good god, my comments are always raunchy. Sorry Jim

Posted by: Helen at November 20, 2004 03:30 AM (AeGVs)

6 Are you kidding me? Raunch is highly encouraged. I'm hunting traffic. ;-)

Posted by: Jim at November 22, 2004 08:49 AM (tyQ8y)

7 Helen, NEVER apologize... Ya know when I put in "Mike" it only gave me 1 hour and 49 minutes... Then I put in "Mike the Marine" and I got the correct answer: 6hrs 48mins Beat ya, Jim... WOOT!

Posted by: Mike the Marine at November 23, 2004 12:41 AM (PK/tF)

Hide Comments | Add Comment

I've been seriously remiss with my blogroll lately. One of the things about using an RSS reader is that I don't use my own blogroll as a surfing point any longer. I add and subtract blogs in the reader, think "hey, I should update my blogroll" and then get distracted by something shiny.

I've finally taken a couple of minutes to make the blogroll actually match the blogs that I read. The list is a lot shorter than it used to be. The reasons why I trimmed blogs out are varied. Some had closed shop. Some had moved or modified and are there under their new guises. Some had changed considerably since I first started reading them and they just didn't peak my interest any longer. Some were just too profligate and I simply didn't have the time to invest in reading them any longer.

The saddest ones by far were the ones that were warped out of the zone of readability by politics. Blogs that I had picked up because they were informative and pointed became echo chambers of partisan rhetoric. Very, very harsh rhetoric. At a certain point I just couldn't read any more about how Bushitler is jackbooting all over the world or that Kerry was Sonny Bono reincarnate (only not as good looking and unable to carry a tune in a bucket with a Ziploc lid). I still followed those blogs for some time, judging by post titles whether I'd read the individual entries or not. Eventually it got to the point where I wasn't reading any of the posts so I removed the blogs from my aggregator.

Now my blogroll matches my actual blog reading and the horrible rent in space-time caused by that disparity is healing itself. When you don't get sucked into a parallel dimension tonight you can all thank me.

(I just realized that getting "sucked into a parallel dimension" could also be taken as a sexual metaphor, in which case it would be a very good thing and I hope it happens to you tonight.)

Posted by: Jim at 06:44 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
Post contains 354 words, total size 2 kb.

I haven't gone the way of the dodo, just very time challenged at the moment.

I've put up a new post at Protomonkey. Enjoy!

Posted by: Jim at 11:29 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 32 words, total size 1 kb.

UPDATE:SnoozeBob day is over, y'all. Thanks for all who played along. I'll hand out points tomorrow for those deserving.

Y'all remember Snoozebob, right?

Snoozebob comes around when I am especially lazy am so burdened by other committments that I can't attend to my normal bloggish duties and he throws the doors open for y'all to abuse the snooze guest post. It's easy as pie. Just go here and log in with username and password "snoozebob".

The door will be open until tomorrow morning. You can post just about whatever you want as long as it isn't spammy or overtly francophilish. There are a couple of things to remember though:

1. Don't do something so stupid that I or one of my proctors will have to ban your ass.


2. Put your name in there so we know who wrote what. In the title is the best place, as a header or in closing work too.


3. If you have a blog don't forget to whore it out here include a link.


4. For the category, please choose "SnoozeBob".

Enjoy!

(This post will stay at the top as long as open posting is enabled.)

POINTS: When I close guest posting I'll hand out some points based on which posts I thought were the funniest/most meaningful/bestest. It might be in categories or an overall list - not sure at the moment.

Posted by: Jim at 08:52 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 231 words, total size 2 kb.

Remember this picture?

(Click for biggie size)

Even though I'm most of a week late, winners have indeed been selected. Look on the bright side; when I'm late with one of these it gives more people a chance to participate!

First place (5 points): The social worker approached the shirtless boy. "Just take one more step, pretty boy..."
Simon

Second place (3 points): There was so much pee in the kiddies pool that even the water pistol turned yellow.
Spirit Fingers

Third place (1 point): "This is my rifle, this is my gun..."
diamond dave

Okay, so I'm pretty loose on my definition for "caption". It comes down to what tickles my funny bone.

Posted by: Jim at 08:33 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 118 words, total size 1 kb.

And they say them about me! A few days ago I asked readers to come up with quotes for me and/or my blog. The winners are:

1st Place (5 points): Your blog is like whoa. I could eat it with a spoon. -Spirit Fingers

2nd Place (3 points): Jim makes me want to hit the snoozebutton a few times a day. -Tiffani

3rd Place (1 point): Blogger I'd most like to see naked. -Emma

Honorable Mention: Ha...I have never said one nice word about you...terrible, even more terrible than I usually am... -Ilyka

Those and a couple others are now up on the sidebar under the new "People love this place" section. The "Best Of" has been moved into this section as well.

Enjoy!

Posted by: Jim at 01:07 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
Post contains 134 words, total size 1 kb.

The latest entry at Protomonkey.

Posted by: Jim at 08:08 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 13 words, total size 1 kb.

There's a new entry at Protomonkey and damn is it good. It involves partial nudity and severe pain!

Special points bonus: Name the source for the title of the Protomonkey post and get 2 points. Answers in this post please - Protomonkey itself is a points free zone. Don't forget - no searching for the answer. Thanks!

If you want to be advised whenever a points offer goes up send me an email. I had to take the subscription form off of the sidebar because some jackass was putting in fake email addressess.

Posted by: Jim at 08:39 AM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
Post contains 97 words, total size 1 kb.

Why not? I'm going to put up a sidebar portion with things people have said about me and/or my blog(s). Here are some examples:

A new high point in the politics of victimization. Or is that low point? Well, it's a point, anyway.
-Instapundit

OH MY GOD. That site is yours? You are fucking AMAZING!
-Everyday Stranger

I love it!! Your style is fantastic and you're very funny
-Rachel Lucas

I'm handing the "king twisted" crown to you.
-Harvey Olson

You may as well change the name snoozebuttondreams.com to glennreynoldsismybitch.com because he's that good.
-Jen

So dig out those cool pithy things you wrote about me the first time you (in trembling amazement at my wit and insight) linked to Snooze Button Dreams (or one of my other blogs) or make up something completely new. Originality is cool, so is creativity.

Whatever quotes get used will be linked so you get a little bonus there. I'll also get the 2004-2005 Points season cranked up by throwing out a couple handfuls of points for the good ones.

Posted by: Jim at 02:36 PM | Comments (16) | Add Comment
Post contains 184 words, total size 1 kb.

1 I've got a few.... This really isn't praising your blog but your blog causes me to dream about you. That kind of power has to count for something, right? http://itsallaboutde.mu.nu/archives/022716.php Haha! Here is my first post about you..waaaaay back in the day! http://itsallaboutde.mu.nu/archives/022859.php

Posted by: DeAnna at August 06, 2004 03:25 PM (IdVP4)

2 Blogger I'd most like to see naked.

Posted by: Emma at August 06, 2004 04:23 PM (NOZuy)

3 Your blog is like whoa. I could eat it with a spoon.

Posted by: Spirit Fingers at August 07, 2004 05:47 AM (PQuhe)

4 That's me and my language-always bringing it down a level. Still, I love that I am one that will be used in yoru sidebar. Go for it. My language may be course, but the sentiment is real

Posted by: Helen at August 07, 2004 12:08 PM (StHmy)

5 If I had only an hour to live, I'd spend at least 20 minutes of it reading Snooze Button Dreams.

Posted by: Simon at August 08, 2004 12:46 AM (/nM7Z)

6 Ha, I just searched through my old blog and would you believe I have never said one nice word about you? This is really terrible, even more terrible than I usually am to my friends.

Posted by: ilyka at August 08, 2004 03:07 PM (acP4d)

7 Swallow your coffee before reading or your screen may suffer!

Posted by: Rachel Ann at August 08, 2004 03:55 PM (nNonf)

8 Hey, y'know who I kinda? That Snooze Button Dreams guy. Yeah, really! What...?!

Posted by: Tuning Spork at August 08, 2004 08:47 PM (HCv3/)

9 Ooops! It's "who I kinda like..." sheesh.

Posted by: Tuning Spork at August 08, 2004 08:49 PM (HCv3/)

10 Jim: Like a limpdick, can't beat him.

Posted by: pylorns at August 09, 2004 09:24 AM (FTYER)

11 SBD: Convicted? No, never convicted. SBD: All That and a Bag of Chips.

Posted by: RP at August 09, 2004 02:30 PM (LlPKh)

12 Jim makes me want to hit the snoozebutton a few times a day.

Posted by: Tiffani at August 10, 2004 09:04 AM (xpNFK)

13 Just because it's nicknamed SBD doesn't mean it stinks. (BTW, your blogdaughter has the best one. She must've got it from the other side of the family.)

Posted by: Victor at August 11, 2004 11:28 AM (L3qPK)

14 Victor - I'm assuming you mean me. If so thanks - unless of course Jim been pimpin' himself out instead of pimpin' rides...do I have half blog brothers or sisters blogdaddy?

Posted by: Tiffani at August 11, 2004 01:18 PM (xpNFK)

15 Yep, Tiffani, I mean youse. And since you're a Munuvian, you've got a *ton* of blogsista's and blogbro's. Me, for instance.

Posted by: Victor at August 12, 2004 07:36 AM (L3qPK)

16 You've got one full-blooded blogsister in The Bull but she's been AWOL for quite some time. You've got lots and lots of blogcousins though. I've helped at least a half dozen people become MuNus.

Posted by: Jim at August 12, 2004 07:42 AM (IOwam)

Hide Comments | Add Comment

Awards are way, way down at the bottom of the extended entry of the post. Sort of like the way they save Best Picture for last.

The winning entries
1st place (5 points): Helen with "Social services intervened when it was revealed a local couple made their children fight to the death, all for the prize of just being able to wear a shirt."
2nd place (3 points): Emma with "Whatever doesn't kill them before they are ten will be a fine personality trait when they are 30."
3rd place (1 points): Simon with "No children were harmed in the production of this story."

Emma gets honorable mention and a bonus point for offering to babysit the spawn my kids. Victor gets a point for his excellent impersonation of a French politician. more...

Posted by: Jim at 11:58 AM | Comments (10) | Add Comment
Post contains 411 words, total size 5 kb.