April 20, 2004
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Is this anecdote a sham or a share?
This is a shorty. Sorry again but I'm hella busy at the moment. Let's see if brevity helps or harms.My bottom left incisor has been injured three times; once in a car accident, once in a fall and once in a food related mishap. Each time, a sliver of the tooth was cracked off of the business end. The tooth is a bit shorter than the one on the right side and has a somewhat faceted appearance, like a gemstone that has had a couple of cuts taken on it.
Current Standings:
One Correct
mitzi
Simon
Tiffani
wendell
Zero Correct
Everybody Else
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Posted by: Jim at
03:51 PM
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April 09, 2004
Want to know what it's about? See the Shamming/Sharing intro post.
This is the first sham/share for April. March's results are here.
Is this anecdote a sham or a share?
I rode the bus in high school. To answer the question that just popped into your mind it was, surprisingly enough, a regular sized one. Our bus driver kept order with two tools. The first was the threat that she would kick you off of the bus. She didn't mean that she would go to the office and have them remove you from her transportation obligations. She meant that she would stop the bus wherever the hell it was and kick your sorry ass out of her vehicle. We believed her.more...The second way she kept order (and with the efficiency of method one this was pretty much all she needed for a backup) was to have minor violators take the front seat for a few days to a week (depending on the severity of the offense). This was known as the bitch seat and came complete with much riling from busmates and excessive smacks to the head from people leaving the bus.
I was subject to the bitch seat exactly once in my 3 years of being carted about by this woman. The offense was not intentional but she neither believed me nor cared and it earned me a full week of head smacks and verbal finger pokes at my expense. The incident occured while the bus was still parked at school waiting for all of the students to board for the ride home. A friend of mine was showing off a box of matches (yeah, I know - what the hell is that about?) and giving some out to people. I took one and asked what good it was going to do without the box to strike it against. He said you didn't need a box because they were blue-tip matches and you could strike them against just about anything. Hell, you could even strike them against your zipper. "No way" I said. "Way" he said. So I struck it against my zipper to prove the lie and gasped in astonishment when the sucker ignited. As the sulphur took to flame I freaked and tried to extinguish it but in my panic I didn't think of anything intelligent like flinging it out of the window or putting it on the floor and stomping on it. I did the finger pinch manuver (the one you use to extinquish candles). If anybody has ever tried this on a match that is in the process of lighting you will know that the sulphur is way more dedicated to catching fire than your mere flesh is to extinguish it. The result was two burned fingertips and a horrendous stench of burning sulphur. Everybody around me started at me in abject stupefication. The bus driver chose that particular moment to board the bus for the ride home, saw everybody staring at me and smelled burning chemicals. She looked at me. I looked at her. She pointed to the bitch seat. When I got up to the front she didn't even turn to look at me. She just started to drive off and said "One week. Idiot."
What she lacked in nurturing instincts she made up for with painful honesty.
Posted by: Jim at
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Post contains 633 words, total size 4 kb.
April 02, 2004
Want to know what it's about? See the Shamming/Sharing intro post.
Is this anecdote a sham or a share?
I've mentioned previously how I protected myself from a lot of the harassment that smaller kids typically get heaped on them. Basically, I just went ape when somebody did something (a noogie or charlie horse or whatever) and attracted a whole lot of attention while making the bully feel like a moron. It worked well. What it didn't protect against was people who actually wanted to beat me up. That happened twice - once each in two different schools.The first time was when I was a hormone addled new teen. On the walk home from school I got jumped and beat on fairly well. My mother raised a holy shit fit but that didn't do anything except embarrass me further. A few weeks later in the middle of the lunchroom with a full gaggle of spectators (and supervising adults who could break up a fight pretty quickly) I unloaded on the kid. A tray to the face followed by me jumping on him over the table and some spectactularly poorly executed punching took him by complete surprise. I said that he had called my mother a whore and that was why I beat on him. We were both suspended for a day. I didn't get into any other fights for two years.
The other time was as a sophomore in high school. I pissed off a jock and got a sucker punch in the gut that left me gasping for breath and with tears coming out of my eyes. Later the same day I took a full bookbag and swung it like I was doing a hammer throw and connected with the back of his head. He was sent loopy and couldn't stand up. I went up to him and asked if we were cool now and he said yes. Nobody ever tried to hurt me physically (with mean intent) for the rest of my high school days.
Current Standings:
Three Correct
Helen
Two Correct
Brian Jones
Mike the Marine
mitzi
Rob
Simon
One Correct
Jeremy
Lovely Wife
Mutinousdoug
Susie
Tiffani
Tommy
Zero Correct
Everybody else
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Posted by: Jim at
12:45 PM
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Post contains 773 words, total size 6 kb.
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