I had the dream about the horseshoe crabs again last night.

I havenÂ’t seen a horseshoe crab, living or dead, in at least fifteen years. The horseshoe crab, for those ignorant of such creatures, is basically a great big 300 million year old sea spider with a hard shell and a scary underbelly. The more educated amongst you [cough] might know them by the name Limulus Polyphemus.

The dream is always the same. IÂ’m at the beach in my trunks, standing at the waters edge. I am precariously balanced on one leg, standing upon the hard back of one of these critters. My opposite leg is bent at the knee and raised, like Ralph Macchio in the crane stance. When I look toward the incoming breakers, ten of thousands of these creatures are emerging from the sea and are headed directly for me. Every few seconds a wave breaks at my feet, washing over my crabby footstool and threatening my fragile balance. As more crabs emerge toward me, threatening whatever menace they harbor, the closest specimens flip themselves over to expose their devilish looking underside, the part that IÂ’m afraid of.

I always wake up as I lose my balance and fall into crabs.

I have no idea what significance this dream has in relation to my life. My childhood experience with these creatures was limited to picking them up by the tail and whacking other unsuspecting children in the back as hard as I could. TheyÂ’ve got some weight to them and a big crab could easily send a twelve year old to the ground if you swung hard enough. I remain puzzled and disturbed, even at this late hour of the day.

Posted by: Pixy Misa at 01:06 PM | Comments (13) | Add Comment
Post contains 287 words, total size 2 kb.

1 Sea spiders?!?!?! That's more horrifying than anything I've ever seen in a movie.

Posted by: Ted at September 02, 2005 01:52 PM (+OVgL)

2 maybe it means that deep down you'd really like a set of nipple clamps.

Posted by: jenE at September 02, 2005 03:00 PM (K0Tmz)

3 After looking at the underbelly, I'd say you're afraid of falling into vaginas that are not your own. You are balancing on the one that you can have, but the others are forbidden.

Posted by: Jennifer at September 02, 2005 03:27 PM (VKyhq)

4 Likening these prehistoric beasts to vaginas is beyond my comprehension! I can't imagine life if I'm afraid of vaginas. Vaginas = good. Prehistoric crabs= bad. Vaginas + crabs of any sort=

Posted by: Paul at September 02, 2005 03:42 PM (vbP6L)

5 No, no. You need to read the first sentence again. And while I'm here, I'd like to take this opportunity to say that the comments template at this site sucks. Going to a whole new page, without the post or a way to navigate back to the blog is lame. (And I know the back button works, but if you leave a comment you have to go back twice. It irritates.)

Posted by: Jennifer at September 02, 2005 03:50 PM (MmRh6)

6 Damn, I was going to make a comment about crabs and vaginas too, you beat me to it Jen. I might have a couple of ideas to get the comments in a seperate window... I still have access to the blog I can try something if you want.

Posted by: Oorgo at September 02, 2005 04:18 PM (lM0qs)

7 Jennifer, hit the 'Main' link up top you lazy American.

Posted by: shank at September 02, 2005 06:19 PM (jfEhX)

8 mmmm... giant sea spiders... very tasty with melted butter... drool

Posted by: Ethne at September 02, 2005 07:07 PM (vw+UT)

9 What "Main" button, Poopyhead?

Posted by: Victor at September 02, 2005 08:57 PM (l+W8Z)

10 What Victor said.

Posted by: Jennifer at September 02, 2005 09:20 PM (egCtC)

11 Ooo.. .the crabs must have fixed the comments ... creepy.

Posted by: Oorgo at September 02, 2005 11:47 PM (1JIkb)

12 In a tribute to good parenting, during a lecture to my daughter about the importance of washing your hands yesterday, I brought up your crab links and showed her and told her that is what germs look like. She held her hands out and looked at them with this touching look of horror I shall always cherish. Let the OCD commence! Thanks, Paul!

Posted by: Bane at September 03, 2005 02:27 PM (JO5DH)

13 When you click the permalink to view the thread, there are links at the top of the page that take you to the neighboring posts, or back to the main page.

Posted by: shank at September 04, 2005 11:46 AM (jfEhX)

Hide Comments | Add Comment