Since the inception of the automobile, people have long pondered the innate connection between a man and his car. Which is stupid, because it's retardedly obvious.

Evolutionarily speaking, men crave simple logic-based reciprocal relationships. When we were hunter-gatherers, the men hunted and understood the dangerous but practical circumstance of such an activity. A primeval man understood that he must eat and feed his family; hence, he must hunt large animals with fangs/claws/husks. Ever since, men have always sought out roles that best-suited their overly pragmatic mindset.

The logic-based reciprocal relationship was that if you didn't get too loud, stand windward, or generally make an ass of yourself; you'd be bringing home dinner. Act outside of the common sense of hunting, and you'd be eating salad for a couple of weeks.

When we moved to an agrarian society, men took up the role of learning how to raise crops. Which plants had the highest yields, or had double-harvests. Support the crop and the environment they grew in, and you'd have a high yield.

When we moved to manufacturing, men took the lead. Of course, at about the same time, women and children began to take manufacturing jobs too. But it's no surprise that men lead the way. To provide for your family, whether it be hunting wild game, working a peice of land, digging a coal mine, or driving a desk; men were for the most part first into the work place. Work for a company for thirty years, and you got benefits, a pension, and a salary with which to raise your children.

These days, as men and women find themselve sharing the role of sole breadwinner, we guys have had to find things that make us more valuable. Providing for the family is no longer solely a man's domain.

Cleaning a carburetor, on the other hand, is entirely a family man's business. Changing the oil? Dad. Brake pads? Dad. Anyone know the significance of blue exhaust or white exhaust? Dad does. Checking sparkplug gaps? Dad's job. Should i go with synthetic or conventional oil? I dunno, ask Dad. Hey, should I use 10-10-10 on my centipede or 5-5-10? You know, Dad told me...

Cars are machines. They work on the simple principle of "Good in, Good out; Bad in, Bad out". If a man takes care of the car, it will reward him with years and years of service. I've seen Pontiacs (yes, Pontiacs!) go 200,000 miles on basic preventive maintenace from the home garage. Granted, you invest a lot of time, but it beats buying a car every five years.

So get out there, read some shit, and try not to be such a prickish little pussy about getting your hands dirty and your mind full.

Posted by: shank at 08:50 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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