Every so often, you run across an absolutely hilarious picture that is intended for serious consumption only. Here at SBD, we take these opportunities and share them with you, the reader, in our interactive caption contests.

So. . . let 'em rip SBDers!

Dr. Fiedlerheim, pioneer of the testicle-ectomy, showing off his latest crop - the freshly shorn balls of Hillary Clinton. When questioned about the abnormally high quantity, Dr. Fiedlerheim stated, "Well, genetic tests and carbon dating showed, of course, that two of them belong to Mrs. Clinton. The other two apparently belonged to Mr. Clinton up until approximately January 21, 1998. "

The balls were donated to a charity auction, and purchased by an anonymous bidder with the handle 'Hopey McChangitude'.

Posted by: shank at 01:49 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 129 words, total size 1 kb.

The caption contest is complete!

(Click to enlarge)

Grand Prize: 5 points
Fluffy the Hutt was not at *all* pleased when Han Solo had to dump the load of Triskelian Mice he was smuggling.
Victor

First runner up: 3 points (Selected by the price of tea in China.)
Marlon Brando proving that re-incarnation is not a myth!
Rob

Second runner up: 2 points (Selected by Santa's elves.)
I swear I had balls when I went to sleep last night, what the f#&% did you sick bastards do with them and what the hell am I supposed to lick now?
phin

Third runner up: 1 point (Selected by Cartman.)
I'm not fat. I'm big-boned.
shank

Posted by: Jim at 09:20 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 120 words, total size 1 kb.

Some of you may remember this post.

And when I say ‘some of you’ I am referring to the point whores. The vigilant point whores. Here’s how it is:
more...

Posted by: Pixy Misa at 09:40 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 125 words, total size 1 kb.

Write a caption for the picture. Win fabulous prizes!*

The contest will be open until it closes, probably some time on Friday.

(Click to enlarge)

* Best caption gets 5 points with another handful thrown around to the rest of the best.

Posted by: Jim at 08:44 AM | Comments (17) | Add Comment
Post contains 46 words, total size 1 kb.

”White House Hosts American Proctology Association”

But youÂ’ll never beat mine.

Posted by: Pixy Misa at 04:05 PM | Comments (12) | Add Comment
Post contains 23 words, total size 1 kb.

The caption contest is complete!

(Click to see the big version.)

Grand Prize: 5 points
Da Plane, Da Plane!
Mo Mo

First runner up: 3 points (selected by the price of tea in China.)
FUCK! That bird just shit in my eye!
The Brat

Second runner up: 2 points (Selected by pirates. Arrrrr!)
The new and improved sneaky eye-pipe-bomb.
pylorns

Third runner up: 1 point (Selected by the duality of man.)
Having criticized her traveling companions for the motes in their eyes, Narjis takes notice the beam in her eye...
Tim Adamec

Posted by: Jim at 06:38 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
Post contains 98 words, total size 1 kb.

Write a caption for this picture over at Momo's place. Win fabulous prizes!*

The contest will be open until some time next week. Comment here or over there.

* Best caption gets 5 points with another handful thrown around to the rest of the best.

Posted by: Jim at 05:50 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 49 words, total size 1 kb.

Remember me?

(click thumnail to enlarge)

Time to reveal the winners!
more...

Posted by: Diamond Dave at 09:18 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
Post contains 90 words, total size 1 kb.

[Note from Jim: Dave set this up during my out of town experience and it is still open for anybody who wishes to participate. I'm topping it to get it in view again. Hurry and submit a caption as time is running out.]

My name is Dave, a local viewer and frequent commenter on SBD. I'm one of those gracious few having been knighted by Jim for the purpose of totally polluting his blog in his absence. I don't know why, other than my occasionally inspirational writings served me well on my application, which I filled out only just because it was there to fill out!

For lack of anything more creative at the moment, I submit a picture in need of a caption:

(click thumnail to enlarge)

Usual rules and points awards for captions apply. This contest will be open at least until Jim gets back, in which case I may let him judge and award as he sees fit.

Now I hope that the blasted thing comes out OK and I don't end up nuking the blog...

Posted by: Diamond Dave at 08:31 AM | Comments (12) | Add Comment
Post contains 156 words, total size 1 kb.

The caption contest is complete!

(Click to enlarge)

Grand Prize: 5 points
*pop* *pfffffft*
Dafyd

First runner up: 3 points (selected by some chick wearing a wedding dress on a Greyhound bus in New Mexico)
In an effort to thwart terrorism in America's linen closets, the FBI has developed and trained a litter of Doberman Pincers with highly evolved camoflage.
shank

Second runner up: 2 points (Selected by all of the politicians who didn't travel on a lobbyist's dime. Both of them.)
The highly evolved chua-chua waits for its prey, the unsuspecting naked human. Little does the human know, its this chua-chua's snak time...
pylorns

Third runner up: 1 point (selected by the genetically enhanced hybrid pundit known as Ann Malkin)
This is what happens when you nag your husband about "Doing a load of laundry for once, and maybe give the dog a bath".
Rob

Posted by: Jim at 10:08 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 152 words, total size 2 kb.

Write a caption for the picture. Win fabulous prizes!*

The contest will be open until some time next week.

(Click to enlarge)

* Best caption gets 5 points with another handful thrown around to the rest of the best.

Posted by: Jim at 11:55 AM | Comments (18) | Add Comment
Post contains 43 words, total size 1 kb.

The caption contest is complete!

(Click to enlarge)

Grand Prize: 5 points
Bingo's twelve-step program wasn't going as well as he'd hoped.
LeeAnn

First runner up: 3 points (selected by Condi Rice's dominatrix boots)
You know, I bet this would be easier with a spoon...and thumbs...
Victor

Second runner up: 2 points (selected by an imaginary number)
Hello Ambition, my name is Lack of Forethought.
shank

Third runner up: 1 point (selected by the ginormous zit on my co-worker's forehead that sucks my eyes toward it like a suppurating black hole)
CANNED DOG MEAT WARNING: Do not shake before opening.
8ZERO8

Posted by: Jim at 12:55 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 107 words, total size 1 kb.

Write a caption for the picture. Win fabulous prizes!*

The contest will be open until some time next week.

(Click to enlarge)

* Best caption gets 5 points with another handful thrown around to the rest of the best.

Posted by: Jim at 08:07 AM | Comments (17) | Add Comment
Post contains 43 words, total size 1 kb.

The results are in! Apparently I owe several people lunch and at least one vacation was spoiled. Ah, the power of the Internet...

(Click to enlarge)

Grand Prize: 5 points
Renee Zellweger, shown here while preparing for her Oscar winning role in "The Marlon Brando Story."
Kathleen

First runner up: 3 points (selected by the Ted Kennedy's 3 martini lunch)
Falling on hard times after his latest documentary failed to get a single Academy Award nomination, director Michael Moore was forced to give up his chauffeur driven SUV and purchase a used car.

His critics were quick to point out that the everyman from Flint bought an import.
Stephen

Second runner up: 2 points (selected by all the rice in China)
Greenpeace, deciding it is too labor-intense to push them into the ocean, has provided alternate transportation.
LeeAnn

Third runner up: 1 point (selected by an infinite number of monkeys via an infinite number of randomly typewritten missives)
Great Goddamn Jim, I'm eating lunch.
Victor

Posted by: Jim at 07:42 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 171 words, total size 2 kb.

Write a caption for the picture. Win fabulous prizes!*

The contest will be open until some time next week.

(Click to enlarge)

* Best caption gets 5 points with another handful thrown around to the rest of the best.

Posted by: Jim at 11:23 AM | Comments (23) | Add Comment
Post contains 43 words, total size 1 kb.

I love cats. They taste just like chicken.

(Click for big size.)

Grand Prize: 5 points
Our special today is pan seared tabby with cheerio confit. Would you like to start with an appetizer?
Jeff

First runner up: 3 points (selected by the world's smallest concience)
[Daffy Duck Voice] It's mine, mine all mine.
Tiffani

Second runner up: 2 points (selected by Ted Kennedy's blown capillaries)
Interestingly, the proposal for remaking the movie _Seven_ with kittens went through several rounds of review before being rejected.
Trey

Third runner up: 1 point (selected by the Romulan Ambassador on Kyrtus 5)
Every year, thousands of kittens such as this one succumb to the horrors of Kitty Kibbles & Krack. Just say "Meow" to drugs.
8ZERO8

Posted by: Jim at 01:31 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
Post contains 126 words, total size 1 kb.

The contest will be open until some time on Friday. Best caption gets 5 points with another handful thrown around to the rest of the best.

(Click for big size.)

Posted by: Jim at 09:50 AM | Comments (13) | Add Comment
Post contains 34 words, total size 1 kb.

The coolest thing about caption contests is that even when you have nothing to blog about you have something to blog about.

(Click here if you are Paul)

Grand Prize: 5 points
Objects in mirror are closer than they appear
Frick

First runner up: 3 points (selected by President Bush, confirmed by the Senate)
Forgetting that the reindeer were still attached, Santa threw it in reverse and floored it.
Machele

Second runner up: 2 points (selected by 17 rats while Victor was out)
The local deer craze known as 'Overpass Diving' came to an abrupt end Thursday night when, following a near-perfect 3 1/4 rotation dive, tragedy struck.
Ryan

Third runner up: 1 point (selected by a duckbilled platypus)
How come I don't see any picture?
Paul

Special bonus section

I came up with a couple myself:

"Bob thanked his lucky stars that he'd had the foresight to get his truck sighted in." (This will only amuse hunters.)

"Ram tough? Sure. Deer tough? Not quite."

Posted by: Jim at 09:20 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
Post contains 171 words, total size 2 kb.

Contest will be open to sometime next week. Don't wait to the last day because nobody but me knows when it'll be. And to tell you the truth I don't know either. Woo hoo!!

As usual, 5 points to the winner and a handful to the also-rans.

Posted by: Jim at 11:02 AM | Comments (22) | Add Comment
Post contains 51 words, total size 1 kb.

I never thought it could happen - a caption contest that returns not a single sexual innuendo. I'm speechless. And I'm buying a lottery ticket today.

Victor, I don't have the story behind this picture but if I had to hazard a guess I'd say it was along the lines of "Combine meets Cessna. Cessna loses."

Grand Prize: 5 points
Heard minutes before: "Hey guys! Watch this!"
Kev

First runner up: 3 points (selected by a homeless puppy with big sad eyes)
And that's why boxcutters aren't allowed on SMALL planes, either.
Harvey

Second runner up: 2 points (selected by all the rice in China)
You think THAT'S tight formation flying? You ain't seen nuthin'... watch THIS...
Mike the Marine

Third runner up: 1 point (selected by Dan Rather, on an IBM Selectrix)
Sissors beats paper.
Susie

Posted by: Jim at 11:55 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 143 words, total size 1 kb.