November 19, 2003
Thatsa lotta Carnie
The 61st edition of the
Carnival of the Vanities is waiting for you over at Peaktalk. It's big. Spooky big.
I wonder how large this thing is going to be by the time I'm hosting it...
Posted by: Jim at
03:45 AM
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See, that's why I'm not ever gonna host it. I'd lose my mind trying to organize all that and it'd never fit into one post on journalspace (my Fithian post needed serious pruning to escape becoming a two-parter as it was).
But I like the way Peaktalk's organized this one. No one category is overstuffed. Very nice!
Posted by: ilyka at November 19, 2003 05:15 AM (ylgwU)
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November 18, 2003
Sick of Survivor Yet?
Then shame on you! We're just getting into the good stuff now. But still, there are other worthies out there that can complement our battle to the death.
Nick Queen over at Patriot Paradox is organizing a Blog Tournament. Currently the tourney needs both contestants and judges. This contest runs in a two week cycle so even if you don't get into the first edition it shouldn't be long before you're playing.
I wouldn't recommend playing in two contests at the same time, which is why I've volunteered to help with judging but won't be competing until after Dec 03. The rest of my island friends will have relatively shorter times to wait before being able to join the Patriot Paradox tournament without conflicts. Jeff, you can go ahead and sign up now.
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Dreams are nice, aren't they?
Posted by: LeeAnn at November 18, 2003 07:50 PM (HxCeX)
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Well, what happens when I win immunity?
Posted by: Jeff at November 19, 2003 01:25 AM (eZyB3)
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You won't have to worry about that, Jeff. Even the cabal of demi-lizardoid minions will be voting for my entry this week. It's that good.
Posted by: Jim at November 19, 2003 03:37 AM (fkewd)
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Luuk has left the building
I've just received word that Luuk, the
Everyday Bear, has left the Peacock household and is on his way to his next
Angry destination. Lovely Wife saw him off after giving him a quick Scotchguard treatment. (Hey, Don is his next stop. Safety first.)
We got a bunch more pictures of Luuk in the past couple days and I'll get those up as soon as I can.
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Can't wait to see the pics. I get Luuk after a while (after his visit with JimiLove), and I need to start planning and rule out any cool Atlanta places you may have covered.
Posted by: Joey at November 18, 2003 08:42 PM (Jq6q/)
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Shouldn't be too hard, Joey. After all, we've got more cool places than you can shake a stick at.
Posted by: Jim at November 19, 2003 03:49 AM (fkewd)
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What should Anger Management's new slogan be?
The
second challenge for Blog Survivor is to come up with a slogan that will appear on forthcoming
Anger Management T-shirts. This is a delicious opportunity for a warped and evil person such as myself. Here's a couple I came up with off the top of my head:
- Sucking up to Frank J since January, 2003.
- Adventures with my objectionist mangina.
- Almost but not quite completely unlike a weblog.
Actually, that last one can go a lot of different ways. Sub out "a weblog" and insert "humor" or "entertainment". You see where I'm going here.
Oh, I feel like a kid in a candy store.
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DAMN YOU!
you come up with three giveaway slogans, and I have sweet F.A. so far. Seriously, not a single idea. I cannot think of a damn thing (truthfully, all I can think about is Judgment Day).
I'll get you, Peacock!
Posted by: Helen at November 18, 2003 07:49 AM (tdh2z)
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Just let your inner evil come to the surface. Think of Don, think of what makes him the warped guy we all know and tolerate and just give it a twist. Something like:
Donism: Don's got a problem getting laid.
Twisted: Anger Management: A Celebration of Involuntary Celibacy
Posted by: Jim at November 18, 2003 08:14 AM (IOwam)
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Damn again!
That celibacy one would've been perfect.
My brain hurts.
Posted by: Helen at November 18, 2003 09:46 AM (tdh2z)
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Ok time for some bad ones...
Angermanagement: God created the Earth in 6 days, on the 7th he rested, on the 151st, he realized he made a mistake when he came across this blog...
Anger Management: Hey Sailor!
Posted by: pylorns at November 18, 2003 10:04 AM (mkbJL)
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Pylorns, you made me spit Fanta all over my screen.
"Hey Sailor" kicked a clown's ass. And that's a good thing.
Thanks, I needed a laugh.
Posted by: Helen at November 18, 2003 10:27 AM (tdh2z)
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lol... damn, i should try to NOT be funny more often...
Posted by: pylorns at November 18, 2003 12:01 PM (mkbJL)
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Buy Nothing Day?
What the hell is
Buy Nothing Day? Apparently it's supposed to be some sort of statement against American consumerism. This is a participatory project (which strangely enough started in the Pacific Northwest, who woulda thunk it) for people who think that capitalism will be the doom of America.
Ummm...
Right.
more...
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Yeah, you know what, the Two Towers extended version comes out today, so they can take their hippie "capitalism is wrong" bent and stuff it. That news makes me feel great, that not only have I a great movie, but I stuck it to a communistic ideal as well. Thanks Jim.
Posted by: tommy at November 18, 2003 02:46 PM (swr9s)
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Bollocks, i should have read the day. Ahhh well, i will go out and buy something on the 28th then. Maybe i'll get that Reagan biography i've been looking at.
Tommy
"We begin bombing in five minutes."
Posted by: tommy at November 18, 2003 02:49 PM (swr9s)
3
Underestimation is a two-way street.
Posted by: Shimura Haru
at February 27, 2004 05:27 PM (hjEJO)
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November 16, 2003
"H" is for Happy Medium
The
Letter of the Day is was
"H"
"H" is for Happy Medium. Not the "pleasant muse" type, we're talking the state you need to attain before you can successfully spend 3 hours in a car with somebody who has radically different musical taste.
Posted by: Jim at
08:23 AM
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Color me Snarky
Wander over to Venomous Kate's
Snarkfest for the best of all things snarkish.
Oh what savage delight grips these unworthy bones at perusal of such delicious vitriol.
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November 14, 2003
The first to fall
The votes are in for the first elimination from
Survivor: Blogoshere Island. Happily I received not a single vote to toss me. Unhappily for
Pylorns he received five of six and got booted.
Pylorns, don't look at it as getting tossed, look at it as winning the first vote by a landslide. If only you had voted for yourself it would have been unanimous.
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Honey, in my part of the hemisphere, getting tossed means getting a hand job.
Did YOU give him one?
Posted by: Helen at November 14, 2003 12:15 PM (k78uM)
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I win! Dopple-G thought Pylorns would jump on that first but I said "No way, man. Helen will be on that like Rikki-tikki-tavi on a cobra."
:-)
Posted by: Jim at November 14, 2003 12:29 PM (IOwam)
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That's not what you said last night...
Posted by: pylorns at November 14, 2003 01:32 PM (oMGhn)
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Last night I was medicated. Totally doesn't count. I call drunk guy exemption.
Posted by: Jim at November 14, 2003 02:02 PM (IOwam)
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Not only did you guess that I would pounce on that linguistic error, you mentioned Rikki-Tikki-Tavi in a post.
It's official. I worship Jim.
Posted by: Helen at November 14, 2003 02:14 PM (k78uM)
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Man I love that movie. I used to try using references to it all the time but nobody would get them.
If you move, I will strike. If you do not move, i will strike.
Oh, yeah.
Posted by: Jim at November 14, 2003 02:46 PM (IOwam)
Posted by: pylorns at November 14, 2003 03:52 PM (mkbJL)
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Rudyard Kipling was the bomb in phantoms.. er..
Posted by: pylorns at November 14, 2003 03:54 PM (mkbJL)
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It was the movie for me, as a very young lad. Although I've got both on my Wish List.
Posted by: Jim at November 14, 2003 05:01 PM (IOwam)
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November 12, 2003
Carnival of the Vanities?
Hey! I'm vain as hell. How come my entries keep getting lost? This is like 4 out of the last 6 where I'm missing. Dammit.
Anyway, it's over here.
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Get out the vote!
(I wonder how many times I'll use that as a post title before it gets old?)
It's time to vote for the first Immunity Challenge for Survivor: The Blogosphere Edition.
I'm not allowed to tell you which one is mine or Don will molest my cow but it shouldn't be too difficult for you to figure it out. Look for brilliance, insight, humor and smugness. That's me in a nutshell. Plus humility, of course.
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Posted by: pylorns at November 12, 2003 04:54 PM (mkbJL)
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Yeah, everybody vote for Pylorns. What number was that again, sir?
Posted by: Jim at November 12, 2003 05:18 PM (IOwam)
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Mine was number.. er I forgot.. damn...
Posted by: pylorns at November 12, 2003 05:33 PM (FQQ7F)
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I think I voted for yours.
Posted by: Jennifer at November 12, 2003 05:58 PM (8EHhm)
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Time for some wang tag!
Ryan has
a post worthy of all our fecal praise.
Here's the problem with shuffling up too far on the toilet seat, and this is what I noticed just a short while ago on the crapper. As any veteran male pooper knows, when you clench off a fecal fragment, your wang twitches. Or, maybe it's just me, but whatever. The point is, when I flex the appropriate kegel muscles to pinch off a turdlett, my pecker does a little spasm dance that usually involves brief upward motion.
Cuppa coffee and a poop post. Wednesday is starting very well.
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Correct me if I'm wrong (cause I'm too damn lazy to look it up), but isn't he talking about the cremasteric reflex there?
Posted by: ilyka at November 12, 2003 10:26 AM (GQuxN)
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Nope. The cremasteric reflex is the one where the scrotum tightens upon stimulus to the inner thigh.
That's one of my favorites, by the way. In case anybody is taking notes.
Posted by: Jim at November 12, 2003 11:48 AM (IOwam)
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See, I knew there was a reason I never applied to medical school.
Now I'm tempted to write a fake letter to Penthouse that works in the phrase "cremasteric reflex" and, so help me, I'm not even really sure why.
I think it's because I'm pretty sure you can't write successful erotic fiction that uses medical terms. It's like this bit from Chris Rock's book:
". . . talking dirty is cool, [but] words like 'penis' and 'vagina' should never come up. I once knew a woman who used to say 'vagina' and think she was talking dirty because she said it LOUD. I used to call her Loud Dirty Girl.
"HER: I feel your PENIS! In my VAGINA!
"ME: Stop it. Stop it! I can't even touch you anymore."
Posted by: ilyka at November 12, 2003 12:08 PM (GQuxN)
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I can lose a stiffy over "vagina" too. Depending on how it's uttered it can bring up a visual of Oprah and that's just a total mood killer.
Posted by: Jim at November 12, 2003 02:59 PM (IOwam)
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I would ask how you wound up subconsciously connecting "Oprah" and "vagina," but then you might tell me.
Posted by: ilyka at November 12, 2003 04:26 PM (wsYck)
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It's actually totally innocent. It was a skit on SNL or Mad TV (don't remember which) that had Oprah with some other wimmen talking about their VAGINAS. The one statement that still haunts me is the Oprah character characterizing her vagina as a natural disaster. "My VAGINA is a mudslide."
I still shudder.
Posted by: Jim at November 12, 2003 04:42 PM (fkewd)
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If I'm flying high on a good bout of horny, it's not a mood kill when the word vagina is uttered.
However, I've always found the word "cervix" to be a pretty powerful turn-off. Not sure why.
Why are there no songs about the cremasteric reflex? That's a rich lyrical area, I'm telling you.
Posted by: Ryan at November 12, 2003 05:05 PM (Sc71i)
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Keep it up, Ryan, and Jim'll write one for you. He's tricky like that.
And vaginas and mudslides in the same sentence--well, I have to punt to Newspeak for that one.
Doubleplusungood.
Posted by: ilyka at November 12, 2003 05:12 PM (wsYck)
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My Life

My life is rated NC-17.
What is your life rated?
Damn. How am I going to get the Junior High girls with a rating like that?
(Link ripped from LeeAnn, who will unfortunately be swimming home within a few weeks)
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Oh no, hon, I won't swim home. I'll float over on the bodies of my (ex)competitors.
Posted by: LeeAnn at November 12, 2003 12:29 PM (HxCeX)
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November 11, 2003
Veteran's Day Blues
It's Veteran's Day and I've had some serious blues going on. I usually do on this day. It's part nostalgia, part loss and maybe a little bit of self pity thrown in. Maybe a lot of that last one, actually.
Anyway, I just read a wonderful post by Michele that has picked me up quite a bit. Thanks Michele.
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I posted this morning on it as well.
Posted by: pylorns at November 11, 2003 03:15 PM (oMGhn)
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Criminy, I didn't know either. Thanks, man. Seriously. Thanks.
Posted by: ilyka at November 11, 2003 03:54 PM (dSHa9)
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Please don't remind me that I'm a moron
One of the things in
Kim's rant that I did agree with but didn't have the time to blog about has been expounded upon by
Craig Henry. Specifically, men are protrayed as bumbling idiots in commercials and in many entertainment vehicles.
To go further, while men of all types are on the receiving end, husbands are the ones who get it worse
I don't doubt that if you totaled all the spending on these commercials you would conclude that "husbands are dumb" is the most popular advertising message in America. If TV commercials can shape the image of a sneaker or beer, what is it doing to the image of marriage.
...
I wonder if these ads are part of the reason that men are deserting TV, especially broadcast TV. The barrage of disparaging commercials just make it a little less appealing to the male demographic.
Absolutely, yes. My favorite television show is 7th Heaven. The fact that the show doesn't treat anybody as an idiot is one of the reasons that I like watching it. Other shows I watch include...uh...lemme think here...
Okay, so I don't watch a lot of shows. Sometimes I'll catch the Crocodile Hunter. Storm Stories and Mail Call are pretty good. I can always get into a decent documentary on the History Channel and Travel Channel's "Top blahblahblah of the World" are often entertaining. Notice a trend? I don't watch things that irritate me and the ever growing "guys are lovable losers/bumbling idots" thing has pretty much trashed television as an entertainment vehicle for me.
(Link snagged from Instapundit)
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History Channel, TLC, Travel Channel, Speed Channel...and the movie channels.. thats about it.
Posted by: pylorns at November 11, 2003 12:26 PM (oMGhn)
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A quick gripe, your Remember Personal Info radio button doesn't seem to do much of anything as I just had to retype my info in again (the horror of it all!)
Now on to the post about TV portraying husbands as idiots.
It is an epidemic, its just easy to take potshots at men in general but the commercials that continually show really, really dumb guys is off putting. The A&W Thick Headed commercials from this past year were funny but continued the vein.
I need to go and read Kim duToit more often. And watch less man-hating TV.
Posted by: Johnny Huh at November 11, 2003 07:32 PM (YkElu)
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Still working on that "remember info" thing. Aparently it is remembering on an individual post basis instead of a site wide basis.
Posted by: Jim at November 11, 2003 08:04 PM (fkewd)
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I am so...bloody...tired of hearing about this guy. His post? What a plod. You know what I would've thought had I seen the Cheerios ad? "Maybe I should buy some cereal." Not: you are a puss.
He should stop ranting about his own insecurities, and maybe you guys should stop buying into his foolish nonsense, lest I be forced to write "The Testification of Women" or some other crap.
Please, men. Stand your ground.
Posted by: Helen at November 12, 2003 05:38 AM (tdh2z)
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I agree for the most part. His rant was overall a pile of steaming foolishness. But even the biggest pile of crap can have a few kernels of corn in it. I get irritated by advertising and programming that idiofies and/or stereotypes just about anything. Being a man and a husband and a dad, the trend to portray my particular minority slice as vacuous bumblers seriously irks me.
Posted by: Jim at November 12, 2003 07:11 AM (fkewd)
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Sorry, man. It got up my nose, this guy's post, so I had to go on a rant about it on my site.
Posted by: Helen at November 12, 2003 07:57 AM (4tEWI)
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Sorry Jim.
You know I love ya' though!
Posted by: Helen at November 12, 2003 10:31 AM (4tEWI)
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Of course you do! I'm irresistable. :-)
Posted by: Jim at November 12, 2003 11:45 AM (IOwam)
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November 10, 2003
Everyday Bear World Tour, Atlanta, Georgia
We took
Luuk to the Annual Pow-wow and Indian Festival at
Stone Mountain Park. As expected we didn't see any Crows but we did run into some Creek, Chippewa and Iroquois. Luuk got a kick out of the inter-tribal dances. Those are the ones where anybody can join in. In typical bearish fashion he noted that the footwork of the medicine dances is quite a bit like an Irish jig. Pics are in the extended entry. Click on any of the little pics to see the full size jpgs.
more...
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Oh my God!!!!!!!!!!! I love this!!!!!!!!
Now I feel guilty about my whole gay-Jim-abomination comment.
Ahhh...that was wonderful.
Posted by: Helen at November 10, 2003 10:12 AM (4tEWI)
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That Luuk is one sharp dresser. And here I thought he was a dedicated nudist.
Posted by: David at November 12, 2003 05:12 AM (4dlyT)
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It's not whether you win or lose...
It's whether you win.
Survivor: The Blogoshpere Edition is set to begin and yours truly is a contestant. My competition is varied and skilled:
Jeff
Pylorns
Emily
Helen
LeeAnn
Good luck to all of my competitors. No, wait. I don't mean that at all. Bad luck to you! I wanna win.
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You wanna win sure.. we all do, but what if when you win, it's Don dressed in drag!
Posted by: pylorns at November 10, 2003 10:25 AM (fD1hc)
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Actually, I could get some good mileage out of that...
Posted by: Jim at November 10, 2003 11:37 AM (IOwam)
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November 08, 2003
My name is Luuk. I live on the second floor.
Fear not,
Helen, Luuk has arrived at last! He's in pretty good shape except for some pretty nasty looking facial bruises. At first I was thinking this might be bear abuse. You know, it's always done by the last person you expect. I was about to call Child and Ursine Services on
Don (he was the last person I expected, seeing as he hasn't met Luuk yet) but then Luuk assured me that it was a result of a bar fight. You're safe for now Don but I'll be keeping an eye on you.
He was a bit tired from his trip and passed out after 6 shots of Goldshlager. He's curled up on the bed right now. What a cutie. Fierce but cute, that is. He is a bear after all.
He got here just in time. Tomorrow we'll be going to the big Pow-wow at Stone Mountain. We're a bit south for good representation by my own tribe (Nana Peacock was a full blooded Crow indian) but there are lots of others there. Last year we were lucky enough to see a presentation by a group of Aztec dancers. Luuk and I will give you the lowdown when we get back tomorrow.
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Bar fight? One the one hand, I'm worried for the safety of my Everyday Bear. On the other, heck ya' I'm glad the bear can fight back.
Give him some aspirin and some juice in the morning for that hangover. He'll need it.
Posted by: Helen at November 09, 2003 01:57 AM (tdh2z)
2
We were just awoken by the enchanting screach of our youngest. Luuk is feeling fine and is rearing to go. It's a bit chilly today with overcast skies but there's not supposed to be any rain. Just in case, we've got a rainbag for Luuk.
Posted by: Jim at November 09, 2003 09:33 AM (fkewd)
3
Good to hear Luuk can hold his own. He's going to need some toughening up if he's going to withstand his journey through the Orient.
Posted by: Simon at November 09, 2003 10:30 AM (JdFpq)
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Thanks to reading this post last night I have now had the Luka song running through my head for 24 hours. Eeeiiii....make it stop! Hope everyone had a great time at the pow-wow.
Posted by: Ann at November 09, 2003 10:02 PM (MFFyo)
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November 07, 2003
It's because the human spirit is indomitable!
Rachel doesn't get it.
Just in case anyone is actually still coming by (at last check, I'm still getting about 1,300 hits a day for some bizarre reason even though this blog sucks now and we all know it)
It's the same reason that Moses didn't get lynched some time during that 40 year hike. We know that some time in the future we will hit that Piquant link and be rewarded for our perseverance. Or maybe it's the same reason that a rat trained to hit a bar to get crack will keep hitting the bar even after it's changed to give him an electric shock instead of crack. Not sure which of those applies more. Anyway...
Rachel was the first big blogger to notice Snooze Button Dreams and is still at or near the top of my referers lise each month even though she's taking a break from blogging.
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Maybe it's me, and I missed the "Best of Rachel" days, but I never really got her blog. Is she being ironic about all the gun-toting right-wingness? Is she being serious? Perhaps I just popped in on the wrong days.
Posted by: Helen at November 07, 2003 07:08 AM (4tEWI)
2
She's serious about gun ownership and fairly right wing. She's sassy, good with sarcasm, has a no-nonsense attitude and has some awesome rants. She writes intelligently and bases her opinions on facts so you don't get a "Coulter" vibe from her stuff, even when you don't agree with her opinions.
But probably the biggest reason for her enduring popularity even when she's on hiatus is that she's helped loads of bloggers, especially newbies.
Posted by: Jim at November 07, 2003 09:07 AM (fkewd)
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Most importantly, she coined the term "asshat" if I'm not mistaken.
Posted by: Jennifer at November 07, 2003 12:05 PM (JAen4)
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