Here's your big chance to share the love. Phillip Coons needs your help to make Delusional Duck the successful multi-poster newsblog it wants to be.

Participation is incredibly easy. Just create an account and you've got posting power. The article entry form is clear and well laid out - just put the link, source, news blurb and your comments in the correct boxes and they come out the other side all Ducky. That is to say, formatted nicely in the Delusional Duck format.

Like Phil says, "If the article you post interests you, chances are it will interest our other readers as well."

Go for it!

Posted by: Jim at 04:17 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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March has two of my favorite holidays.

First is the male version of Valentine's Day. On March 14 we welcome with open arms and legs Steak and BJ Day! This is the wonderful day when the ladies can show their fellas how much they appreciate all of the time, effort and cashola that they expend for the give-your-gal-a-gift-days. And it is so easy! Just treat your fella to a nice steak and then fellate his stake. There's still time to get involved with Michele's fellatio haiku contest.

On March 15 we welcome Eat An Animal For PETA Day. This festive event pays reverse tribute to America's biggest homegrown terrorist group by consuming vast quantities of animalia. Fire up the barbie and eat an animal for PETA!

Posted by: Jim at 05:42 AM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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Clancy put up a teaser post. A "got news, tell ya later" thingy.

I'm not patient enough. I want to know the news now. So, y'all go over there and take a guess at what the news is. The first commenter with the correct news wins 5 points. Anybody who makes coffee come out of my nose will also get points.

Sorry, Clancy. You're sort of excluded from this contest.

Contest is open until Clancy posts the big reveal.

Just to be clear - make your guesses at his place. It's more irritating that way. ;-)

Posted by: Jim at 06:46 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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Okay, so I lied about the peanuts. The other two are the honest truth though. Go see the New Blog Carnival Showcase Extravaganza Supreme Delicio (#2) to be amazed and delighted.

And bring peanuts.

Posted by: Jim at 08:37 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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What's your squirrel name?

Frighteningly enough, my alterego's name comes up as General Dangleberry. What are the odds that my given name and a psychotic made-up name would end up so similarly in squirrelese?

(Hat tip to Nibbles Fluffycheeks)

Posted by: Jim at 04:57 AM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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My irregular posting of some of the best stuff I've read recently.

Not So Sweet - Tre explores the recent history of sweetener, and gives out the grand secret of how to eat sweet without getting cancer or the mange.

Snot Rockets in Costa Rica - Flibby's vacation is going ... well. That's "well" as in a big empty hole in the ground, of course.

Congress shall make no law... - Claire speaks out on censorship, the federally mandated kind.

TiVo Customer Support - 8ZERO8 has an encounter of the automated kind.

Oh, I guess I don't. - Everything you ever wanted to know about Tiffany? Well, here's your chance to ask her.

Just got back from Atlanta... - Annette and family have found a house. The ranks of the voluntary southerners is increasing!

WAAAAAH! I NEVER GET ANY TRAFFIC! - This could be the coolest thing since the shortlived MemeBlog. Harvey has found a place that makes submitting your posts to the various carnivals as easy as 1, 2, 3.

Posted by: Jim at 12:37 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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Of a website, I mean. According to Organic HTML, that is. See?

(Click for big size)

Lovely Wife's site is elegant and tall, with stylish accents. Hmmm...that's a pretty accurate description.

(Click for big size)

And mine? Well, it's a bit short with a rather prominent phallic element. Damned accurate, this thing is.

(Click for big size)

(Hat tip to Tre, who'll be on my blogroll whenever I get around to updating it.)

Posted by: Jim at 09:13 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Found at Why Television Sucks - A do it yourself bumpersticker maker. Ah, what fun!

Here's a nice topical one:

One we'd all love to use but wouldn't have the balls:

A venerable classic revisited:

And a couple dedicated to everybody's least favorite socialist:

See what you can come up with and trackback to this post (or direct me to your post in the comments here if you fear trackbacks). Best stickers will win some points next Wednesday.

Posted by: Jim at 08:13 AM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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I found this over at LeeAnn's Cheesy Castle of Doom ^(TM). Ralex Whitlock (what sort of name is "Ralex" anyway?*) made a list of ten things that he thinks bloggers do wrong. A list of common failings, if you will. LeeAnn did a self-analysis against the list and, since I'm nothing if not a slave to rule number 1, I have too:

1. Only link to what we've already read and only say what we've already heard.

Nah. A goodly bit of my stuff is original and I don't go around parroting people via links.

2. False modesty.
False modesty? Moi? Hehe. Hahaha. Mwah hah hah hah hah!!
Um...no.

3. Clearing the archives.
Nope again. All of my tripe is out there for your enjoyment. Actually it would be a great benefit and increase usability quite a bit if bloggers (like me) cleaned out half of the garbage in their archives. more...

Posted by: Jim at 11:40 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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1 As for the site, the reason I put it there is because people were confused as to why the heck the site was called RAWbservations, so it makes my initials more clear. Though really I've been putting the "R." in front of my name pretty much by habit at this point. Any time I sign a check or credit card receipt I put it on there to explain the discrepency between the name I'm signing and the name I'm using. I used to sign one or the other depending on which name they needed, but that got tedious. Ultimate point being that unless I legally change my name, it's more difficult to get rid of the first name than the middle one.

Posted by: Ralex at February 17, 2005 01:05 PM (TS8P4)

2 I'm guilty of number 7 and number 10. I read certain blogs that appeal to me but there are a number of "top rated" blogs that I've only been to once and learnt it wasn't for me. I don't often comment in my own comments simply because I am either away from my pc, or I am not so posh that I think anyone cares about my comments. I get annoyed when you see bloggers comment in their site when they've obviously been away for a while and feel they must address each and every commenter like: Adrian-Thanks, buddy!!!!!!!!!!! Tonsilhockey-((((HUGS)))) Janine- You go girl! Whippetlover-ROTFL! PeteyTeenyTiny-I so agree!!!!!!!!! Yeah. That kind of thing. I hate that crap. If you have nothing to comment to the comment, then just don't.

Posted by: Helen at February 18, 2005 02:14 AM (9jsh4)

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The SuperSoaker flamethrower.

Don't be the last kid in your neighborhood to get one!

(Hat tip to Dopple-G)

Posted by: Jim at 11:00 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Still at a loss for what to get that special someone on this most important of Hallmark Holidays? Just remember the prime directive of gift giving maxims:

Flowers say "I'm sorry", chocolate says "I love you".

Or if you want to go on the cheap, reading material always works well. Send hubby or hubbette to the New Blog Carnival Showcase Extravaganza or to the venerable classic The Best of Me Symphony.

Heh. I define "bait and switch". Worship me, marketers of yore.

Posted by: Jim at 08:33 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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My irregular posting on the best stuff I've read lately.

Kathleen does the first anti-fisking I've ever seen. She takes terror apologist Ward Churchill over the coals in spectacular fashion.

Gary Cruse comments on evil. Is evil a face of humanity or something truly beyond our understanding?

Another one from The Owner's Manual. Gary found this incredible time suck: The Baby Name Wizard. You have got to go play with this thing.

Is hazing wrong? Ilyka comments on a recent case of Marines caught pinning. That's where they stick a Marine's new medals on his chest by sticking them into his chest.

So you've got that screenplay sitting around and it's the next best thing since sliced bread. Take a look at generic's Writing Advice.

Breathalyzers are dangerous. I'm not talking about the ones the cops carry, I mean the one you take with you to the bar. Update: The funny story has been removed. Apparently it wasn't as in the public domain as RAT thought. He does have a very interesting replacement though.

Posted by: Jim at 02:47 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Get in on it while the action is hot and freshly oiled.

Posted by: Jim at 11:30 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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An occasional roundup of some of the best stuff I've read lately.

Is anything in the world funnier than explosive diarrhea? I think not. Read this dread story of Macaroni and Beef if you doubt me.

Man the phasers, the Vegans approach!

Paul is desperate for content. You can tell because the world's greatest meme hater is starting a meme. And because he said so.

Finally, somebody had the balls to say it! Nelson Mandela is a sophist and a fool. That's not to say he isn't a sweet fellow, just ignorant and more than happy to expound on things he is clueless about.

Finley gives the straight dope on The Parents Television Council. This activist group is responsible for almost 100% of all complaints sent to the FCC.

Posted by: Jim at 11:17 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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This is ungodly funny. And incredibly disgusting. Almost completely perverted. Definitely NC-17 or TV-MA or whatever the hell the rating system is now for no kids allowed.

Tiny excerpt:

Just by its nature, the probability of contracting food poisoning from fish is always higher than most other foods. This is why, based on personal experience, I recommend that no one ever engage in anal sex after your date ate a large fish dinner.

(Hat tip to Dopple-G)

Posted by: Jim at 12:53 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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Found this at Natalie Dee's:

you know that thing where you figure out your drag name by combining your first pet's name with the name of the street you grew up on? when i do mine, i end up with WHITEY ROACHWAY, which is not that awesome. my husband would be McFLY CLAYTON. this, also, does not really have connotations of being seductive while hiding your penis. my little sister would be ROMEO REED, which is actually kinda awesome, but not drag queen-y. no matter how you play the game, you will never end up with a real drag queen-sounding name like LADY MISS MARILYN VON SNEAKYDICK.

I'm one of the few who never heard of this method of devising your drag name but I'm game.

Let's see...

My first real pet that I actually remember was a German Shepherd named Tasha. The first address I can remember is Hampton Drive. 33 Hampton Drive, Freehold, NJ 07228. Not sure about the zip, it just sort of popped out, but the rest is definitely the address where I lived as a young teen.

So my drag name is Tasha Hampton.

Feh, not much of a drag name. If we used my current stats I'd be Dakota Castle. Now that's a bit better.

So what's your drag name?

Posted by: Jim at 08:09 AM | Comments (21) | Add Comment
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1 Rusty John Wells Not much of a drag name either. It actually sounds kind of broke down.

Posted by: Trey Givens at February 04, 2005 08:38 AM (yaMs/)

2 Abby Cantebury.?.?. Abby River (my current name) sounds better.

Posted by: Clancy at February 04, 2005 08:49 AM (JxYJc)

3 Mine would be: Ming Caliandra Current would be: Motley Sherwood

Posted by: Tiffani at February 04, 2005 09:03 AM (KE4Gu)

4 Lessee... I would be Ricky Cleveland, going by the way they say you're supposed to do it. It sounds more like a movie actress name, though - And I would switch out the 'y' to an 'i' or 'ie'. Ricki(e) Cleveland. Going by current stats, I would be Aiobhan Randolph, which sounds like someone you'd run into in a pub. Hmm. Or, we could try Caitlyn Ralph, which sounds like a model. This is what happens when you name your animals with people names. I guess I don't get a drag name.

Posted by: Claire at February 04, 2005 09:05 AM (FmPLy)

5 Call me Claudius Place, baby. Or, a later pet (named by my sister), would have me as Fluffy Place. I think I prefer the quiet dignity of Claudius Place, though.

Posted by: RP at February 04, 2005 09:44 AM (LlPKh)

6 Ok, my dog's name growing up was Octavious You know, after the Roman leader. I'm not even going to attempt it because it sounds more like a Politican then anything

Posted by: Machelle at February 04, 2005 09:52 AM (ZAyoW)

7 Mine's great. Muffin Red. How cool is that?

Posted by: Jeremy C. Wright at February 04, 2005 10:02 AM (LxmkC)

8 Caesar Marquette. Not too bad...

Posted by: Susie at February 04, 2005 10:05 AM (MYr06)

9 Do I smell a contest for points? No? oh...ok.

Posted by: Tiffani at February 04, 2005 10:15 AM (KE4Gu)

10 My dad named the dog before I was born. He thought it would be cool to name the dog Satan. I have a feeling I can't win this contest.

Posted by: Garret at February 04, 2005 12:30 PM (IOwam)

11 Abiding these rules mine would be Princess Red. If I was current -- and using my parent's pet (I have none) -- it would be Cocoa Allen. What did I win Jim?

Posted by: Kenny at February 04, 2005 12:40 PM (sVrPB)

12 This is some good stuff. Some of these are definitely point worthy. I'll let it run a bit and then pick my favorites. Maybe we'll have a poll to get some reader input for the best of the best. Yeah, that sounds good. We'll do that.

Posted by: Jim at February 04, 2005 01:07 PM (tyQ8y)

13 Samantha Melrose. Ugh, it sounds WAAAY too real...

Posted by: diamond dave at February 04, 2005 04:47 PM (l35ua)

14 I'd be Blizzard Front. That's just wrong.

Posted by: Kathleen at February 04, 2005 06:48 PM (KRj9x)

15 Bleh. I would be Checkers Merton. How geeky is that? Not very draggish. Current would be Fiona Sanbourn. Just a wee bit better.

Posted by: Boudicca at February 04, 2005 11:31 PM (z7nbM)

16 OK, I can do worse. When I lived in Southern California, my drag name would have been... Dusty 229th. My current name would be Ne-hi Grayfield. Sounds much better.

Posted by: diamond dave at February 04, 2005 11:33 PM (dRDfJ)

17 I always heard this combo gave you your PORN STAR name. Mine is Sean Apricot - which is pretty good!

Posted by: Oda Mae at February 05, 2005 03:52 AM (T0Hhk)

18 I've heard your pets name plus your mother's maiden name gives ya your porn star name...anyway.. Drag Queen names: ShyAnne Havenwood Current: Artemis Ganahl

Posted by: Holly at February 05, 2005 08:59 AM (Wkg+N)

19 My first name would be "Baby" which sounds like the name of a drag queen or maybe a porn star but the last name....? "Third" or maybe I could cheat and use Street, like Della Street on Perry Mason. Yea, I'd have to cheat and go with Baby Street.

Posted by: Nanc' at February 05, 2005 11:36 AM (KJQ9X)

20 I am Maxi Hemlock. Less porn star, more serial killer maybe.

Posted by: Helen at February 07, 2005 04:16 AM (y74Wc)

21 Me, the six-year-old drag queen: Snowball Hacienda. Not bad. Me, the ten-year-old drag queen: Patches La Palma. Hmm. Me, the teen drag queen: Rusty Briarwood. Wait, that's my p0rn name. And me, drag queen of today: Qiti Lexington. Ahh. That one fits like a Gucci glove. But nothing compares with the real things: Ida Slapter, Eva Destruction, Lois Carmen Denominator, Tequila Mockingbird...

Posted by: Darren at February 19, 2005 03:42 PM (9RUZX)

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Here's a nifty little meme I picked up at De's place:

A. First, recommend to me:

1. A movie:

2. A book:

3. A musical artist, song, or album:

B. I want everyone who reads this to ask me three questions, no more, no less. Ask me anything you want.

C. Then, I want you to go to your blog, copy and paste this allowing your friends to ask you anything they want!

The movie suggestions are especially important as I'll put them under consideration for the next Drunken Movie Review. I'll give it a couple of days then answer all of the questions at once.

Posted by: Jim at 10:58 AM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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I've won the Calvin's Dad Award (aka 'The Calvie')!

Woo hoo! I do so totally rock!

Posted by: Jim at 06:01 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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I've figured a nifty extra use for my newsreader. As you all know, I'm not a very good linker. I don't know why really except possibly that I'm a greedy, lazy roustabout. Or maybe it's because I see something linkable, say to myself "Hey, self - that right there is eminently linkable" but then I fail to link it and then forget it.

Yeah, either one of those excuses will work.

Anyway, I've started to save 'must link' posts in my newsreader. When enough of them accumulate so I begin to get pangs of guilt, I'll link them all. True, you won't be getting the freshest content in the world in my link posts but you will get the best stuff I've read in the past howeverlong-it's-been-since-my-last-link-post.

Y'all ready? Okee dokee:

Start out with Simon and his much lauded effort The New Blog Showcase. This has been doing great as a site and has launched more that a few worthy young blogs. Simon's taking it on the road now as a Carnival and he's looking for hosts.

Next stop is Ambient Irony where Pixy explains the mindset of relativistic enminity. He doesn't use big words like that, I'm just showing off. Basically he lays out why certain elements of our society view the liberation of Iraq as a bad thing.

Jennifer reminds us what's really important to remember about the Holocaust. Ask 100 American high school students to tell you who Anne Frank is; then ask them to tell you which concentration camp she died at...and precious few will know the camp. But most of them will know her story.

generic cracks my shit up with Aunt Stubby's Cautionary Tales for Children Not Yet Defeated by Life. I can't even exerpt this. Go read - if you're twisted like me you'll bust a gut.

Riding in the caboose is Lovely Wife. Hmmm...Lovely Wife's caboose... Gimme a minute here...

[break]

As I was saying, our final stop is at Flaptrap where Lovely Wife tells y'all a story about our neighbors. We're lucky enough to have neighbors who very quickly became friends and boy are they a hoot.

Posted by: Jim at 05:26 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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I don't know if it's an insult or an honor to be compared to Bill Murray but take a gander at my Gay Factor! This is one hunka primo boobie lovin' man right here ladies.

(Click for biggie size)

Get your face analyzed.

(Hat tip to The Owner's Manual)

Posted by: Jim at 05:25 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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