The first Flying Pig Party item is finished and loaded into the Snooze Button Dreams store. Be the first kid on your block with a Flying Pig Mouse Pad:

Cost for Flying Pig memorabilia will be whatever Cafe Press is charging. I believe that getting the message out there is more important than making a profit. That's why the first item is something that'll sit on your desk and nobody will ever see. Brilliant, Jim. Just brilliant.

Let me know what other item types you'd like to see.

UPDATE: Almost forgot! The motto on this mousepad, which will be one of two main mottos for the party, was thought up by SpaceMonkey.

Posted by: Jim at 02:31 PM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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Moderator: First Candidate, allegations have been raised that in your youth you behaved in an erratic, some might say "youthful" manner. Please respond.

First Candidate: I'm so glad you brought that up, Moderator. Youth today is in crisis. If elected president I will see to it that the problems with today's youth are thoroughly investigated and addressed to the satisfaction of everybody and their mother.

Moderator: Other Candidate, your detractors blame the recent increase in inflation on the massive government spending plans you have initiated. How do you reply?

Other Candidate: I've been waiting for the chance to address that exact question. A tax return is just that - a return of tax money to the taxpayers. We should not be taking more money that we need to and if we do, we need to give that money back. That's why I am pledging to pursue a taxation plan that more closely matches our actual budgetary needs.

Moderator: Flying Pig Candidate, you are a relative unknown in this race. We're not sure exactly how you made it into the debates at all, seeing as you're basically a political nonentity. Do you have any qualification for the office?

Flying Pig Candidate: I can answer a question. I can stand here, listen to the words coming out of your mouth, form a reply in my mind that adequately addresses the concerns you have raised and then form words to that effect.

Moderator: First Candidate, there is some question on your committment to ... hold on a moment here. Flying Pig Candidate, did you just reply to my question with an answer to the actual question that I asked?

Flying Pig Candidate: Why yes. Yes I did.

Moderator: And did you just reply to a yes or no question with a yes or no?

Flying Pig Candidate: Yes, I did do that. Here, I've just done it again.

Moderator: Extraordinary...

Flying Pig Candidate: Indeed.

Posted by: Jim at 02:22 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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Our customized plates have turned out to be more popular than expected. The wenches dedicated supporters are absolutely frenzied over them! Ever one to want to please, I have created a few more plates along the lines of suggestions already made. First come, first served!

*

*Choice of some plates may require additional levels of support.

If anybody wants to play around and make their own plates just head on over to the ACME License Maker.

Posted by: Jim at 02:41 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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It's all about the soundbites, baby. With that in mind it's critical that our political party have a recognizeable and biteable motto. Thanks to Clancy and Helen I think I've figured it out. Check it:

If the lesser of two evils is common sense then the least of three evils should be a no brainer!

Vote Flying Pig. The least of three evils.

The regular literature would be "Flying Pig, the least of three evils". Does that just sing or what? Damn, I should have been in marketing.

Posted by: Jim at 10:29 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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Hey, a fan base is almost as critical in politics as it is in rock & roll. Helping to keep our peeps happy, the Flying Pig party is happy to present this custom plate to our loudest beggar most vocal supporter.

Posted by: Jim at 12:55 PM | Comments (8) | Add Comment
Post contains 53 words, total size 1 kb.

1 Even though I haven't commented on this before (as far as the Givens/Peacock election is concerned). I am your biggest fan. I declare it! I love you and Trey equally. I may not be able to be the loudest fan but, I am the most dedicated & whiniest. Also, I'm a great kiss ass. (can you tell?) Oh and I don't thinking beggin is beyond me either!

Posted by: Tiffani at April 19, 2004 01:28 PM (xpNFK)

2 Puhlease. I have publicly declared my esteem for both you and Trey several times. Certainly more than this Tiffani-come-lately person.

Posted by: Jennifer at April 19, 2004 04:14 PM (DdBLw)

3 Ouch...I need a bandaid that stung.....

Posted by: Tiffani at April 19, 2004 09:10 PM (0GNJF)

4 Ladies, please! There's no need to fight. Between Trey and myself there is more than enough love to go around. I'm just having difficulty thinking up more plates. "PIG GAL" just doesn't seem very flattering and "PIG LUVR" doesn't fit.

Posted by: Jim at April 19, 2004 09:22 PM (saeHM)

5 Hah! The cheerleader is rewarded. She who whines loudest wins! Go Peacock/Givens in 2004! Thanks Jim

Posted by: Helen at April 20, 2004 03:50 AM (xHInj)

6 LVTREY JIMLVR Use your imagination. I've always wanted a vanity plate with BRMHLDA on it.

Posted by: Jennifer at April 20, 2004 11:06 AM (DdBLw)

7 how about P0RKIN?

Posted by: Rob at April 20, 2004 11:40 AM (kXZI6)

8 Good one Rob!

Posted by: Tiffani at April 20, 2004 01:46 PM (xpNFK)

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Got my vanity plates all lined up. That was the last thing on my checklist for things I had to do before being elected Vice President.

I got some for Trey, too.

(As seen at WizBang)

Posted by: Jim at 09:58 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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One thing that I couldn't believe during last night's question and answer session was how obnoxious the press questions were. They almost completely ignored a chance to ask the freaking President of the United States actual questions about what is going on right now and what our plans are. They abandoned actual journalism for attempts to squeeze some partisan soundbite out of Bush.

Related to that, I couldn't believe that Bush kept his cool under the onslaught. He maintained his decorum and kept trying to steer things back to topics of actual importance.

I've got news for you. This is going to be very different when the Flying Pig party takes the White House. Trey is most likely going to be way too busy vetoing things to entertain foolish questions from the press so I expect to be tapped for this particular task. Unlike Mr.Bush I will not be overly concerned with pressie feelings when they are obviously attacking me and mine. Oh, I won't come straight out and call them retards like my running mate might but I'll be answering their questions simply and brutally.

Let's review the questions that they unleashed on Bush last night with me at the podium instead of George: more...

Posted by: Jim at 01:19 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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Trey's an even better Photoshopper than I am. That's why he's the presidential candidate and I'm only the veep.

(Click for even more flying pigs.)

Methinks I'll replace my own sign with one of these. Since we don't need to worry about a primary we don't have to go for the shock factor anyway.

Posted by: Jim at 04:40 PM | Comments (12) | Add Comment
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1 That's too cool!

Posted by: Pixy Misa at April 12, 2004 09:39 PM (+S1Ft)

2 Nice logo, shame about the candidates. ;-) And Jim, I think you forgot to close the sub tag, or my eyesight's going. One of the two.

Posted by: Simon at April 13, 2004 04:21 AM (FUPxT)

3 Got it. Thanks for the catch, Simon.

Posted by: Jim at April 13, 2004 05:48 AM (saeHM)

4 Is that a flying pig?!? *clutches at heart* Oh...I love pigs! Pigs are my favorite pastime! Someone print up some teeshirts and novetly BBQ aprons so that I can buy 47 of them! Did that sound weird to anyone else? *fiddles with stuffed pig's little elastic tail*

Posted by: Tiffany at April 13, 2004 07:33 AM (rDyup)

5 None of them was quite right, so I did one of my own, which you can find nesting happily in my left-hand sidebar.

Posted by: Pixy Misa at April 13, 2004 11:05 AM (+S1Ft)

6 Nice one, Pixy! Maybe I'll grab that one instead. I feel just like John Kerry going from one solution to the next...

Posted by: Jim at April 13, 2004 11:44 AM (IOwam)

7 Hmm. No blue ones.

Posted by: Jennifer at April 13, 2004 02:37 PM (DdBLw)

8 Blue background? What shade? As a registered voter your wish is my command.

Posted by: Jim at April 13, 2004 02:47 PM (IOwam)

9 The one that is on my site. The...hmm, darker or lighter, darker or lighter...probably the lighter.

Posted by: Jennifer at April 13, 2004 03:51 PM (DdBLw)

10 cafe shop merchandise? I want to wear your logo on my chest.....

Posted by: Susie at April 14, 2004 09:58 AM (sf0L+)

11 Dang! I'm all tingly now! I'll see what I can whoop up. I'll post it tomorrow.

Posted by: Jim at April 14, 2004 10:12 AM (IOwam)

12 Always happy to help make you tingly, Jim!

Posted by: Susie at April 14, 2004 03:02 PM (sf0L+)

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And more importantly, only YOU can get Trey Givens elected to Presidential office. By popular demand we proudly offer an official "Givens/Peacock 2004" election campaign decal:

Be the first blog on your server to display your allegiance to the only candidate team promoting sensible government based on the Constitution.

Posted by: Jim at 01:41 PM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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DATELINE - Atlanta

Trey Givens has become the first 2004 Presidential candidate to specifically declare his running mate. In the context of this news the word "mate" should be interpreted as "companion" and not "companion, know what I mean, wink wink nudge nudge".

In a move that may have global implications the avowed libertarian has taken part time antidisestablishmentarianist Jim "Snoozey" Peacock onto his ticket. Givens explained his choice thusly: "Jim is a reasonable and even-handed person. HeÂ’s not likely to call you names like I would."

When reached this morning for comment Mr.Peacock confirmed that he had gladly accepted the offer and was "looking forward to the challenge" that they will face in this election. In popular polling given choices of Trey Givens, George Bush, and John Kerry, Givens came in behind the Republican and Democratic candidates. Jim Peacock aims "to change that". Strong words indeed.

Miscellaneous talking heads that only surface from their government pork fed think tanks for one of every four years like salmon returning to the fetid waters that birthed them were quick to comment. Said one "This choice will serve Givens well. 'The Snooze' is a married man with children and his inclusion will make Givens a more attractive choice for center-right voters. They will see Peacock's heterosexuality as a check against Givens' gay powers and will be more comfortable voting for him."

Another commented that "This may turn around and bite Trey in the ass. And not in the good way either! A lot of his homosexual voter base was hoping he would run with the Good Doctor. They're just such a cute couple. Seriously!"

Time, and massive advertising budgets, will tell how the Givens/Peacock ticket fares.

Posted by: Jim at 08:43 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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