"He walks like John Wayne." - Hugo Chavez

As opposed to, say, walking like you've got the fist of your Islamofascist puppeteer up your ass?

Posted by: shank at 03:26 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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"[T]hose who study jihad will understand why Islam wants to conquer the whole world. Â… Islam says: Whatever good there is exists thanks to the sword and in the shadow of the sword! People cannot be made obedient except with the sword! The sword is the key to paradise, which can be opened only for holy warriors!"
-Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini

Wow, that's nice; real nice. How very 12th century of you, sir. Quite the, shall we say, pre-Renaissance man you are. It must be for this reason that TIME Magazine chose to distinguish yourself as one of the 100 Most Remarkable People of the last century.

I do have one question though, if I may. When we get down to it, are a bunch of raisins really worth all the effort? I mean, let's be honest: raisins really aren't all that tasty, nor are they rare. So I ask you; is a jihad really a jihad if, instead of becoming your holy warrior and recieving a just reward in paradise, any old infidel can buy the very same rewards for $1.49 a box at Food Lion? And that being said, does that make the uncovered woman on the SunMaid box just another one of the Great Satan's whores?

Posted by: shank at 03:57 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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The Pope recently quoted a 14th century Byzantine Emperor when he spoke of Islam's tendency, to say the very least, to walk a fine line between religious zeal and incendiary violence. Several Muslim communities and nations around the world were pretty pissed at his insinuation and responded with, of course, rage. Hm. Fancy that!

"Anyone who describes Islam as a religion as intolerant encourages violence." - Pakistani Ministry of Foreign Affairs Spokesperson Tasnim Aslam.

Black shirt - $13.50
Green Karate Kid bandanna - $5.00
Raging in the streets to prove you're nonviolent? Priceless.

Posted by: shank at 11:50 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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For me, the damning thing about all these 9/11 consipracies is that they make no allowances for coincidence.

A light spot on the bottom of an airplane in a blurrily zoomed image is a missle - not a blurry reflection.
The manor in which the towers collapsed proves it was demo, not just a building falling in on itself. I mean, how else do you expect a building that's barely leaning over to fall? It's not a tree being chopped down fellas, it's a building whose core has been partially gutted and substantially weakened.
The fact that a man had a conversation about death with his child the day before he boarded a doomed flight is proof that he was in on the plan - not just happenstance. How often do we all have such coincidental conversations? Seriously.

I guess what I'm trying to say, is that more often than not minor details are minor details; even when there's a lot of them. I mean, take for instance the appearance of the Virgin Mary in a grilled cheese sandwich, or a bagel, or a potato. Is it some kind of conspiracy? Or might it just be an odd little coincidence.

The real flaw in it all, however, is something that every well devised plan (as the attacks of 9/11 were a major undertaking) always requires. Motive. In the late nineties and early 21st century, the US government had nothing to gain by attacking it's own nation and fingering a terrorist organization that was virtually (at that time) unkown to the public. Al Qaeda on the other hand, a group who (still) operates under a transformational ideology supported by a violently twisted religious belief; not only had motive, but has since claimed responsibility and pride over the events of that day and many similar events since. Motive bitches. Motive.

See, these consipracy buffs are searching for something that will complete the picture for them, tie up every little loose end. But as the Virgin Mary might tell you, sometimes a grilled cheese sandwich is just a grilled cheese sandwich. For something to make sense it has to work on a macro level as well as an operational level. Because if it doesn't, it's just a bunch of Loose Change. And as we all know, that and a dollar will get you a cup of coffee.

As an aside, I'd have to be pretty damn desperate and lonely to cash in your fifteen minutes on something that makes 2/3rds of the US population think I'm an assbag.

Posted by: shank at 03:27 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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I was working on this longwinded post regarding geopolitical strategy that cited recent global developments and intelligence reports from StratFor.com; but halfway through it I figured "Fuck that. It's Friday."

more...

Posted by: shank at 03:05 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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