In the real world, that is, outside of blogging, I get asked for advice quite a bit. ThatÂ’s probably because I give the appearance of a stable, well adjusted person. Not that I am, but I do give the appearance. Since I fear everything IÂ’m always on red alert and that keeps me from making unwise investments, getting involved in ridiculous situations and in general, avoiding the wave of idiocy that many people canÂ’t seem to steer clear of.

Back the point. I often get asked for advice and I rarely dispense it. This makes people crazy. They think I donÂ’t want them to succeed, but thatÂ’s not the case at all. I donÂ’t give advice for two reasons.

1. ItÂ’s rarely, if ever, heeded
2. Most people donÂ’t want advice, they want someone to blame when things donÂ’t pan out

However, IÂ’m in a charitable mood today, and IÂ’ve got nothing else. Therefore, I offer the following pearls of wisdom:

1. Always sit with your back to the wall.

2. Avoid the herd mentality. If large groups of people are doing something, buying something or behaving a certain way, do the exact opposite.

3. DonÂ’t drink rum or any mixed cocktail with high sugar content for extended periods.

4. Have a sense of honor. Your word should be your bond.

5. Nobody likes a mooch.

6. Shut the fuck up. Sometimes itÂ’s best to listen.

7. If you canÂ’t afford to pay cash for something, you definitely canÂ’t afford it at 14% on your credit card.

8. Learn from the experience of others. Learning the hard way is not mandatory.

9. People will fuck you over if you let them.

10. Abusive relationships should be terminated with extreme prejudice.

11. Marriage vows should mean something. Or why bother.

12. If you donÂ’t have the correct tool, donÂ’t start the job.

13. Life is short, have some fun and donÂ’t fuck it up.

14. When driving, donÂ’t lurk in someoneÂ’s blind spot.

15. If you want something done right, be prepared to pay through the nose.

16. If youÂ’ve been getting your hair cut the same way for more than ten years, you probably look like a jackass.

17. Good friends are hard to replace. Preserve those you have.

18. Shitty friends will drag you down with them.

19. Nothing is out of your reach. DonÂ’t be afraid of success.

20. DonÂ’t tailgate others.

21. If in the course of life you make enemies, it is best to keep them near you.

22. If you are severely wronged by someone, the proper payback is at least three times the initial value in cash, pain or inconvenience.

23. Enjoy the arts. Music is good for the soul.

23. Be excellent to each other.

24. Party on dudes!

Posted by: Pixy Misa at 11:40 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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HereÂ’s an amusing article about the search for the best vodka. ItÂ’s pretty entertaining.

Are you a fan of Absolut? HereÂ’s what the panel had to say:

“… Panel members noted its "piercing, antiseptic quality," "too-dry taste," "medium burn," and "unremarkable finish" and agreed that midshelf vodkas (again, we only tested premium brands) represented a much better value.”

Go figure. I was never a big fan.

I really enjoyed the critique of this vodka, one IÂ’ve never heard of:

“… The vodka's industrial-strength bouquet reminded one drinker of "burning tires." As for its taste, the panelists declared it "sticky-sweet," "thick," and "gluelike." "I wouldn't use it to fuel my lawn mower," one taster said, bringing the discussion to an end.”

IÂ’ve always wanted to do taste test like this but my friends, as rule, are hard to control when surrounded by a large number of full liquor bottles. ItÂ’s not that theyÂ’re wild Indians or anything, but maintaining order during a structured event that involves shots seems highly unlikely.

Posted by: Pixy Misa at 01:40 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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