The day after Thanksgiving I was talking to my wife about the marathon day we put in at her parents house. We brought some good friends with us.

“Do you think Phil and Diane had a good time?” my wife asked.

“In general.”

“What do you mean, ‘In general.’”

“There was a small incident. Nothing big.”

“What incident?” she asked.

“Well, your old man was spitting all over Phil.”

“Spitting? What the fuck are you talking about?”

“He had Phil cornered, up against the kitchen counter. Your old man had a mouthful of food and he was talking with his mouth full. Actually, he was screaming with his mouth full. I literally saw pieces of food flying from his mouth.”

“Are you kidding me?” She was horrified.

“No, I’m not kidding. I saw food flying from his mouth and landing on Phil’s shirt. And it was no brief encounter. He was all excited about something and it seemed to be going on for a long time. You know how he gets excited.”

“I can’t believe this—“

“I’m not done. So Phil’s backed up to the counter and he’s got no place to turn and the old man’s getting closer and closer…it was hard to watch, and Phil was kind of cringing and turning his head trying to avoid the barrage—”

“What did you do?” She was pissed.

“What did I do? I didn’t do anything. What was I supposed to do?”

“You should have told him not to talk with his mouthful! You could have told him to give the guy some air. You could have gotten in the middle or walked Phil away! How the hell could you let this happen? NOW I’M FUCKING MORTIFIED! HOW COULD YOU STAND THERE AND JUST DO NOTHING?

“He’s your old man! I have to show some respect…”

“You know what? You’re like one of those Nazis who said they were only following orders.”

“I don’t think that particular analogy fits—“

“Oh, be quiet. I have to call and apologize before these people think we’re savages!”

###

Truthfully, would any of you have tried to intervene?

Posted by: Pixy Misa at 10:49 AM | Comments (11) | Add Comment
Post contains 361 words, total size 2 kb.

I never, ever do this shit so don't give me any crap. And you know you want to do this one.

You scored as James Bond, Agent 007. James Bond is MI6's best agent, a suave, sophisticated super spy with charm, cunning, and a license's to kill. He doesn't care about rules or regulations and somewhat amoral. He does care about saving humanity though, as well as the beautiful women who fill his world. Bond has expensive tastes, a wide knowledge of many subjects, and his usually armed with a clever gadget and an appropriate one-liner. James Bond, Agent 007 100% William Wallace 79% Neo, the "One" 79% Maximus 75% El Zorro 75% Captain Jack Sparrow 67% Lara Croft 63% Indiana Jones 58% Batman, the Dark Knight 54% The Terminator 50% The Amazing Spider-Man 46% Which Action Hero Would You Be? v. 2.0 created with QuizFarm.com

Posted by: Pixy Misa at 10:14 AM | Comments (10) | Add Comment
Post contains 161 words, total size 4 kb.

If I think I can fart in a car or meeting and get away with it, I will. And I will deny culpability with extreme vehemence.

I wish nothing but the worst on the OptimistÂ’s Club and all itÂ’s members.

I daydream a lot.

For a slim guy, I can eat more than anyone I know.

IÂ’m overly critical of everything.

If I shake someoneÂ’s hand I canÂ’t relax until I can wash my hands again.

I hate recycling because I donÂ’t like washing my garbage before I store it for days.

I will fight for the armrest on an airplane or in a movie theater.

I often find myself in contempt of othersÂ…for no good reason.

I do not like people who play golf. And talk about it.

My sense of humor will eventually be my downfall at work.

I wish I had a ten pound ball of Silly Putty.

Posted by: Pixy Misa at 01:08 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
Post contains 157 words, total size 1 kb.

I partook of a small vacation recently. I have nothing to report.

Of note, perhaps, is the fact that I have read over 2,000,000 words in the past thirty days in the form of books; my only solace in times of boredom.

In my absence I noticed that my cohort, a self-proclaimed cracker, has posted a picture of himself. IÂ’m always torn by these issues. On one hand, IÂ’d love to get a look at some of you folks. On the other hand, my imagination is likely more generous than reality and I fear let down. I canÂ’t post a picture of myself for security reasons, though I often wish I could. I have little going for me aside from not being repulsive.

I pictured Shank pretty much as he is in reality, though I thought the hair would be a little darker.

If you have posted a photo of yourself please let me know where to view it. My curiosity is now killing me. The person IÂ’d really like to see a picture of is Bane. I canÂ’t quite pigeon-hole that guy.

So. Can somebody put some coffee on?

Posted by: Pixy Misa at 10:13 AM | Comments (8) | Add Comment
Post contains 202 words, total size 1 kb.

1 I've got a new can of Cafe du Cracker I could open, it should take about 5 minutes, everybody load up and then we can start the meeting.

Posted by: Oorgo at November 08, 2005 11:20 AM (lM0qs)

2 I'll show you mine if you show me yours Via email of course, national security reasons here too.

Posted by: Jackie at November 08, 2005 11:38 AM (iErNK)

3 I'd be willing to bet that Bane is the spitting image of King of the Hill co-star Boomhauer.

Posted by: shank at November 08, 2005 12:37 PM (+H1yK)

4 I'm thinking heavier, dark hair. Jeans and flannel shirt.

Posted by: Paul at November 08, 2005 12:42 PM (vbP6L)

5 yeah, Bane would be a better back-up in a fight. at least, in my imagination.

Posted by: sis at November 08, 2005 12:51 PM (30vAu)

6 I bet Jennifer looks like Nancy Drew, but not so blonde. And probably a lot easier.

Posted by: shank at November 08, 2005 02:53 PM (+H1yK)

7 Jen's got pic on her site somewhere, but it's pixelated for all the wrong reasons. If you stand back far enough you can get an idea of what she looks like.

Posted by: Paul at November 08, 2005 03:16 PM (vbP6L)

8 Just got off a "vacation" myself. 23 hours of meetings in two days. So I says to myself "Self, you can either drown in your email backlog or read some blogs." 'Nuff said.

Posted by: Jim at November 10, 2005 06:05 AM (oqu5j)

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