May 02, 2006
Most bloggers never created any serious plan or anything. They just started blogging, and in many cases they started on blogspot or something and I think they chose a name in thirty seconds or less. And thatÂ’s always a bad move. Long term decisions shouldnÂ’t be made in fifteen seconds while youÂ’re trying to register on blogspot and watching for your bossÂ’s office door to open at the same time.
The ones I find to be horrifically bad are the long tongue twisters like “Ramblings of Inter-terrestrial Musings of Thoughts of an Introspective Geek.” You get the picture. In fact, don't use any of those words if you're starting a blog.
IÂ’m not too thrilled with the puns on political parties either. The whole right and left act is stale an unimaginative. Unlike Shank, I donÂ’t have a problem with eponymous blog names. ItÂ’s honest and straight forward.
Blog names are important. I simply will not visit a blog if the blog name is shitty, boring or cliché. I think a lot of people know they fucked it up but it’s hard to change once it’s out there.
My advice for anyone starting a blog these days is stay away from the words:
Rantings, ramblings, thoughts, right, left and “the.” It’s been done. And re-done.
In addition, don’t look through the dictionary or thesaurus for long words with too many syllables. Certainly don’t look in the thesaurus for new versions of rambling, raving and thoughts. In fact, stay the fuck away from all words beginning with the letter “R.”
There. Now off you go.
Posted by: Pixy Misa at
07:24 AM
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May 01, 2006
On a related note, have you ever watched a really bad TV commercial from a major company and think to yourself, “Who the fuck signed off on that?”
IÂ’m not talking about low budget local ads; IÂ’m talking about Fortune 500 companies. It makes me wonder how people can put out complete shit and still keep their jobs. And you know the thingÂ’s been screened by the biggest of wigs in many cases because the placement contracts are for a gazillion dollars. There are enough of these things out there in rotation where you must know what IÂ’m talking about. Confusing ads where you donÂ’t even know what product theyÂ’re selling, bad jinglesÂ…the whole nine yards.
I know that many things are subjective, but Christ, almost everybody has a benchmark for just plainbad. You know it when you see it. And I can picture a bunch of jackholes sitting around a conference table at the agency, slapping each other on the back and taking notes as they murder someoneÂ’s budget. And back at the ranch when they preview the 30 second spot, the head jackhole, the overpaid, under qualified friend of a nepotistic friend nodding approvingly, because it was, after all, his responsibility to relay the expectations and message to the ad agency.
I play these scenarios out in my head a lot. Sometimes IÂ’ll be sitting in front of the TV completely spaced out for five or ten minutes and then realize IÂ’ve been writing the back story for a bad commercial. I can see the faces of these people sitting around the conference room brainstorming, making critical errors, scratching their noses. ItÂ’s very real. Times like that make me realize how much I could benefit from a good prescription.
Take twice a day or as needed for unexplainable insanity.
Posted by: Pixy Misa at
02:49 PM
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ItÂ’s the International Federation of Competitive Eating. I reckon that competitive eating must have needed an international federation. AnywayÂ…
One guy ate over 32 grilled cheese sandwiches in ten minutes. And while part of me wants to congratulate him on an outstanding achievement, part of me canÂ’t help but wonder how many days it took for him to have a normal bowel movement.
Another guy ate six pounds of Spam right out of the can in twelve minutes. SIX POUNDS in twelve minutes. Can you imagine the digestive tract after that? Do you go right from the contest to the hospital or what?
Take a look at the “Eater Profiles” because it’s priceless.
Posted by: Pixy Misa at
10:34 AM
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My wife declared that the pots and pans weÂ’ve been cooking with since Christ was a carpenter have been slowly poisoning us over the years. During the first years of our marriage we werenÂ’t serious cooks. Before the kid came along we mostly dined out and neither of us had a clue. We had this really cheap set of non-stick cookware that was really old and it looked like weÂ’d used them for moving gravel from the front yard to the back.
My wife noted that all the scratches in the Teflon was probably eating my brain and that cooking in aluminum, if thatÂ’s even what it was, was as bad as eating lead paint chips. Since I need what little brains I have we went out and bought a decent set of Calphalon pots and pans that wonÂ’t slowly kill us.
I was shocked by two things. Price and performance. These things cost an arm and a leg, but you really see the difference when you use them. Since those early years my old lady really learned to cook like a pro. I dabble. And when I say dabble, I mean I buy really expensive ingredients and then ruin them and call for take out with a huge mess in the sink. Anyway, even I can cook with these because they heat evenly and my big problem was always controlling the heat.
And then we have James Michener. I thought IÂ’d read every book ever published on this planet but alas, IÂ’ve never read this guy until this week. I had no idea who he was or what heÂ’d written until my wife came home with Caribbean, Journey and Chesapeake. I love historical novels and had no idea what I was missing. I think he got a Pulitzer for Tales of the South Pacific. Luckily heÂ’s written a wheelbarrow full of books so IÂ’ve got something to go on for a while.
So, Michener and Calphalon. Not a bad weekend for the boy.
Posted by: Pixy Misa at
07:43 AM
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