And then there are words that should be altogether dropped from the vernacular. Words and phrases that are passe, lame, or just sound dumb; and only make the speaker seem clueless.

'jumped the shark' - A phrase that has completed a self-fulfilling cycle so fast that the mind reels. I shouldn't even have written it here without censoring it, it's so dumb. From here on out, let's just consider it profanity. We promise not to use it in polite company, and when we have to use it (for reference only, as we do here); asterisks will be used as such: 'j*mp*d the sh*rk'.
'gobsmacking, -ly' - I don't know who came up with this, but I can't possibly imagine what kind of beatdown they recieved from the first person they spoke it to. Seriously, I keep a rusty crowbar in my trunk should someone utter this word. Consider yourselves warned.
'quiche' - Okay firstly, this word looks nothing like it sounds; which is actually a compliment because it sounds like the noise of a frog bursting, were someone to gradually squeeze it in a vise: 'Keesh!' Secondly, quiche is gross.
'stool' - This seems like an odd word to find here, no? Well, I'm only referring to a particular use here. When people refer to crap, turds, feces, shit, dung, guano, poop, number two, caca, or Carrot Top as 'stool'; it's irksome. With all the other great variants for crap, turds, feces, shit, dung, guano, poop, number two, caca, or Carrot Top; why use the word stool? I'll tell you why, because they want to use a word without any vulgarity attached to it. Look people! It's shit, shit's vulgar!
'panties' - Now, this might just be a me thing here, but this word sounds awkward out loud. Say it: panties. It just, I don't know. When I hear myself say it, it sounds like something a pussy might say. "Oh, my panties!"

Posted by: shank at 12:50 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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1 So, you wear panties but you don't like to SAY panties...interesting.

Posted by: De at February 26, 2007 02:01 PM (IdVP4)

2 I was with you up until "panties." In the first place, perhaps it's a conditioned reflex, but when I hear the word 'panties' spoken by a woman I have instant wood. Next, what the hell can we replace it with? Drawers? Not hardly, my friend. Unmentionables? I think that went out with Queen Victoria. Undergarments? Sounds like something worn under the uniform of a industrail janitor. Underpants? Way too masculine. Lingerie? Way too general. Could be a teddy, could be one of those other things that cover things but not really, could be all kinds of shit: slip, corset, et cetera. See. Not much left. And let's face it, they do need to be referred to from time to time. The word I have a problem with is "thong." While I enjoy the effect as much or more than the next guy, the word itself sounds like a Laotian recipe for battered monkey testicles.

Posted by: Paul at February 26, 2007 05:08 PM (ahClC)

3 Ok. I don't even know what the first two even mean. Maybe it's because I'm blond. Who knows. But how bout when I refer to panties like this. I slipped by finger under my panties and gently pulled them down.

Posted by: Tiffani at February 26, 2007 06:56 PM (Vf34l)

4 That works for me!

Posted by: Paul at February 26, 2007 07:29 PM (ahClC)

5 I suppose you're right about panties. But I maintains that it sounds dorky when I say it. So, from here on out I guess I'll just leave that word to those who say it best. Like Tiffani.

Posted by: shank at February 27, 2007 08:49 AM (+H1yK)

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IÂ’ve done very little sailing in my day, but IÂ’m a huge fan of nautical terminology. IÂ’ve decided to start using some nautical terms at every opportunity.

Some of my favorites:

Yaw
Scuppers
Gunwale
Belay
Abeam
Thwartships

And of course, my favorite: Coxswain.

I encourage everyone to throw the word coxswain into as many conversations as possible, especially in the workplace. I believe the correct pronunciation is “Cox’n” but the phonetic pronunciation works well too.

Posted by: Pixy Misa at 11:23 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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It was a fair enough question.

“You are, without a doubt, the most critical person I have ever met,” my wife continued.

“You criticize everything and everyone.”

“It’s not always negative,” I replied. “I simply call them as I see them.”

We were watching American Idol and when one of the cheeseballs started singing I said that he sucked.

“How could you judge him so fast? He just opened his mouth…it couldn’t have been more than one or two seconds!”

“I set the bar very high—for other people.”

It may have been the best line IÂ’d ever used.

Posted by: Pixy Misa at 11:35 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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People who put two spaces after a period.

ThatÂ’s from the caveman days, people. In the days of typeset printing and typewriters you needed two spaces because the fonts were non-proportional. Nowadays, most fonts are indeed proportional (except maybe Courier). That extra space is useless.

Please stop now.

Posted by: Pixy Misa at 05:02 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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