The reason that a lot of Europeans think little of Americans isnÂ’t always based on politics. Sometimes the truth hurts a little. When you consider the fact that most Americans who travel to Europe are stupid fat people expecting everyone to speak English and have early bird specials at all the restaurants itÂ’s really no wonder at all. Go to the mall and look around this weekend. Then imagine shipping them off to represent you in Europe or anywhere else and tell me youÂ’re not a little apprehensive. Sorry, folks, donÂ’t shoot the messenger.

Take a look at this jackass.

He checked into a hotel in Germany for the WC and after the game he couldnÂ’t find his hotel. He wandered around for six hours aimlessly with no hope. He didnÂ’t know the name of his hotel or anything else except it was near a park and a Mercedes dealership. Do you know how many Mercedes dealerships are in Germany?

By three in the morning he went to the cops and pleaded for help and they drove him around like a child for two hours looking for his hotel in city of 500,000.

Idiot.

Posted by: Pixy Misa at 10:37 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
Post contains 202 words, total size 1 kb.

If I could blog this good, I'd have a 'Beer Fund' tipping jar too. 50 trackbacks? When my ego has a wet dream it doesn't get that good. Some really wasted dude in Iowa is at a bar right now, telling all his friends about how he made beer money on the internet. So at least I know it's possible.

Posted by: shank at 06:33 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 68 words, total size 1 kb.

Well, another hurricane season is upon us; and with it no doubt will come all the frantic insanity and sensationalist hyperbole we should all expect from the media. Take Alberto, the storm's practically a flash in the pan and Drudge pulled out his flashing siren for it. I can fart harder than 70 mph; but I digress. Having lived in several hurricane-prone areas, and seen the extremes at both ends of the spectrum; I thought maybe I might have something to offer. As it turns out (and you may have guessed) I don't; so I asked Paul to add something to the post that might have merit. If you can tell who wrote which peices of advice, I'll send you a special gift in the mail; free of charge of course.

more...

Posted by: shank at 03:54 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
Post contains 851 words, total size 5 kb.

Gut Busting
A guy ate 47 grilled cheese sandwiches in ten minutes this weekend. No mention of if heÂ’ll need to use blasting caps to take a dump in the coming days. I just donÂ’t get it.

Sports
In soccer news, Persia got their asses kicked. I think they threw it. That skid mark of a president kept threatening to attend the games like Hitler at the 1936 Olympics. The big difference is that this guy likes to stir the pot at every opportunity and Hitler was less arm waving and more action. Give it time, I guess. This guy’s obviously a big fan of Der Führer and he needs to get whacked.

Terror
Al Qaeda in Iraq announced ZarqawiÂ’s successor as if were a posting in the WSJ. I donÂ’t know about you, but if I headed a terrorist organization I wouldnÂ’t be announcing or posting promotions and roster changes. It just seemsÂ…like the stupidest thing I could ever imagine. If the guy exists at all and if heÂ’s not a red herring.

Obits
The guy who wrote (I think) the theme to 2001: A Space Odyssey is dead. He did for kettle drums what Einstein did for physics.

Opinion
IÂ’m having new flooring installed at the house and itÂ’s been a goat-hump from the get-go. The thing I really donÂ’t understand is why these people canÂ’t just show up at the time they say they will? Is it really so hard?

When they do show up one of them stays on his cell phone the whole time, often disappearing for hours and the other guy doesnÂ’t speak English. Or Spanish, German or French. I have no idea what it was but I couldnÂ’t fucking parlay no matter how hard I tried. Am I expected to know Albanian or Serbo-Croatian or whatever it was? Meanwhile the workÂ’s not getting done and IÂ’m getting antsy and this bastard goes around my house fucking whistling all day. Literally. And I donÂ’t want them using my toilet anymore.

Not much of a post, I know. Spare me the critique.

Posted by: Pixy Misa at 01:04 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 355 words, total size 2 kb.