Trey's comments are busted so I, the proverbial swinging monkey of commenters, shall fling the feces of my verbosity from afar.

Congratulations!
Trey finished with the scholastic requirements for his Masters of Business Administration. You may now call him a "suit" and tremble before him. Seriously though Trey, a big virtual high five from Snoozeland.

My deepest sympathies
Please pass my regards and condolences to The Good Doctor.

How fitting
I can't think of a more fitting name for a town that volunteers to subsidize inflated prices than "Dorking". In fact, wouldn't it be just nifty if this practice itself became known as "dorking"?

Posted by: Jim at 10:21 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 108 words, total size 1 kb.

Jen has almost reached the magical 100,000 visitor mark. In tru diabolical fashion she is offering a bribe to the blogger who refers the magic visitor. In similar fashion (if you can't copy Jen, who can you copy?) I'll do the same. If you're the 100,000th visitor and you get there from my site I'll win the bear and you'll win your choice of either 5 Snooze Points or 1 month of free advertising at Zero Intelligence*.

So what are you waiting for? Get on over there! Don't you understand that I could win a freakin' bear? I already got an award today; winning that bear would make this a banner day.

* Yes, I realize I just established a market value of $2 for a Snooze Point. Does this qualify as an IPO?

Posted by: Jim at 03:20 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 138 words, total size 1 kb.

The 2004 Weblog Awards have closed. My site didn't win and none of the sites I endorsed won. I think you all can see what this means.

If you want to win in the 2005 Weblog Awards you damned well better not have me plugging your site. I will begin taking bribes to that effect. Just click the PayPal button in the sidebar and put the following in the memo section when you make payment: "2005 Weblog Awards bribe - For the love of God please don't plug my site."

Just like NPR, I offer various levels of contribution:

$5 - Snooze Button Dreams will not actively campaign for your site.
$10 - Snooze Button Dreams will not mention that we are voting for your site.
$25 - Snooze Button Dreams will not mention your site at all for the duration of the voting.
$50 - Snooze Button Dreams will eradicate any mention of your site, remove all links and trackbacks except for an active spin campaign where we will campaign against your site. We're pretty sure this will guarantee a victory for you.

Posted by: Jim at 11:55 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 190 words, total size 1 kb.

The newest person in mine is Tiffany! Blown Fuse has been subborned moved into Munuviana.

And so we continue in our quest to take over the world, one blog at a time.

Posted by: Jim at 08:32 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
Post contains 46 words, total size 1 kb.

1 yes, but wetwired will never move!

Posted by: pylorns at December 13, 2004 03:19 PM (FTYER)

2 Feh. You're half-way a Munu already, Pylorns.

Posted by: Jim at December 13, 2004 03:26 PM (tyQ8y)

3 ...well, you could always comment-spam Pylorns thus rendered unable to check e-mail without 290 "Texas Hold em Poker" comments downloading.

Posted by: Tiffany at December 13, 2004 05:38 PM (R2wme)

4 Won't work. He's from Texas so he has immunity.

Posted by: Jim at December 13, 2004 05:58 PM (GCA5m)

Hide Comments | Add Comment

And he's a Munu now!

Posted by: Jim at 05:31 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 9 words, total size 1 kb.

My fourth child turned a year old today. Of course the babe was adopted months ago but I'm still mighty happy to see the little bugger his the first anniversary mark.

Go visit adopting daddy Gary Cruse and see what the Bestofme Symphony looks like on its first birthday.

Posted by: Jim at 03:43 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
Post contains 53 words, total size 1 kb.

1 Congrats, you meme-daddy.

Posted by: Simon at December 06, 2004 09:10 PM (UKqGy)

2 You just must be so very, very proud!

Posted by: Rachel Ann at December 07, 2004 01:17 AM (I9nMw)

3 Congrats. What a nice thing to celebrate. Elizabeth In.Chicago (In case you'd forgotten)

Posted by: Elizabeth at December 09, 2004 01:57 AM (n3948)

Hide Comments | Add Comment

Ryan's post is hillarious but Joshua's comment on it takes humor down up to new levels.

Nope, I'm not back. This post brought to you by the wonder that is Trickle.

Posted by: Jim at 11:55 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 37 words, total size 1 kb.

Tis true! Tin-foil hats are passe. They're so...so...so 1998. The modernly festooned brigade member wears this delightful accessory, cunningly crafted from layers of electrostatic insulating polymer shoved into a WWI Snoopy pilot's hat:

What better statement could there be to signify "I've got my shit together" than to have this ingenious contraption strapped to one's noggin? All of the mind protecting power of thin sheets of metal with none of the nasty crinkly noises. The future is now.

No longer shall they be known as the tin-foil hat brigade. Nay I say! From this point forward they shall be called the Velostat Visionaries!

That site does give us one gem of useful information. Specifically, never ever allow your children to attend Temple University. The Grand High Poobah of the Velostat Visionaries is a tenured professor there.

(Hat tip to Dopple-G)

Posted by: Jim at 12:55 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 154 words, total size 1 kb.

The turkey's gone and the fat man in red isn't here yet. That means it's time for Blogosphere Awards!

The king daddy of 'em all is the 2004 Weblog Awards, organized by Kevin at Wizbang. Nominations are complete and voting starts later today. I shall annoy y'all for votes later if I make the category cut.

New for this year are The Edublog Awards, focusing on weblogs of an educational bent.

Last but not least are the 2004 Asian Blog Awards. This year they're hosted by our very own Simon.

It's like a disease - we just can't stop voting.

Posted by: Jim at 11:55 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 120 words, total size 1 kb.

She must be, seeing as she's approaching the 100,000 visitor mark. Then again, that's according to Sitemeter which is notoriously bad at accurately counting visitors. My own unscientific studies show that it gets the numbers right about 40% of the time, making my estimate of Jen's actual visits somewhere near the quarter million mark.

A quarter million, y'all!

Wouldn't it be great to be the 250,000th visitor to Jen's site? You could be the unofficial quarter millionth visitor, as verified by the Sitemeter ticking off 100,000 in it's anemic style. Just think of the glory. The honor. Those little chocolate candies with the caramel in the middle. What are those called again? Oh, yeah - Rolos! I love Rolos. Not as much as Snickers of course, and they're a good distance behind Reese's Peanut Butter Cups but still - Rolos are pretty good.

Where was I? Track back here...Reese's...Snickers...boobs (hey, I don't write down everything I think of)...Rolos...anemia...oh, yeah - Jen's site. She's on pace to get her SiteMeterated official 100,000th visitor (actually around the 250,00th visitor) in a couple weeks but if everybody who reads this post goes to visit her she'll get there in an hour or two. Hehe. Just kidding. More like three hours.

So, to get you over there (those of you who aren't the mindless automatons who blindly obey my every command, damn I love those guys) I present:

Cool Stuff Jen Has Posted Recently*

Been a secret agent.
Interviewed shitloads of notable bloggers including me.
Posted a picture of herself without a stitch of clothing showing.
Identified the progressive stages of insanity.
Sent hope and joy throughout the world.
Out-googled J-Lo's ass.

And that's just the recent stuff. Go see for yourself. Hey, almost 100,000 to somewhere around 250,000 visitors can't all be wrong!

* Okay, the interviews aren't recent. So sue me.

Posted by: Jim at 04:05 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
Post contains 317 words, total size 2 kb.

Plyorns has posted the missing item in the Atlanta driver's mandatory equipment list. Ooh, I gotta get me some.

Posted by: Jim at 11:45 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 23 words, total size 1 kb.

Anna explains her lengthy absense and prepares us for another one.

Anna, you've got my best wishes and hopes pulling for you. I hope you'll be back when things straighten out a bit. We just don't have enough California blondes with yards of golden tresses in the Blogosphere.

All seriousness aside...no, wait a sec...all joking aside, you'll be missed (again) and I'll be eagerly awaiting your return. You make me laugh and that makes the world a little bit brighter.

Posted by: Jim at 10:20 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 86 words, total size 1 kb.

The holiday gluttony starts early in the blogosphere. Sate yourself with some crunchy appetizers at the 114th Carnival of the Vanities then pig out on the turkeys at the 73rd Bonfire.

What? No football?

Posted by: Jim at 07:56 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 40 words, total size 1 kb.

But Flibbertigibbet does. Rather, he needs people to take his survey. It's for one of his school projects. He's going to school for a business degree. If he does well here he will very quickly become one of those mover/shaker type business moguls, supporting and growing our economy by his very presence. So go take the poll. Do it for Flibby. Do it for the USA. Do it because it's just a couple questions and you've got nothing better to do anyway.

Posted by: Jim at 08:21 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 96 words, total size 1 kb.

Getting a little ahead of ourselves, aren't we? The nominations for the 2004 Weblog Awards are open. Go and let Kevin and crew know what your favorite blogs are.

Incidentally, in case you were wondering, Snooze Button Dreams would be in the Best of the Top 500-1000 Blogs class for the Ecosystem ranking categories. You were wondering, weren't you?

Posted by: Jim at 08:13 AM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
Post contains 67 words, total size 1 kb.

Snoozebob got the juice!

(Yanked off the Cheesemistress's quivering thighs.) more...

Posted by: Jim at 12:30 PM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
Post contains 68 words, total size 5 kb.

1 *making note of the foreplay remark so as to have actual useful proof it DOES exist, GM1, you lying bugger you* James, I am impressed. Particularly about the quivering thighs part... who told?

Posted by: LeeAnn at November 19, 2004 12:24 PM (vqSdN)

2 I'm a lecher with over 30 years experience, LeeAnn. I never miss a quivering thigh. ;-)

Posted by: Jim at November 19, 2004 01:13 PM (tyQ8y)

3 If the time in bed refers to sleeping, then this quiz is pretty darn accurate for me...

Posted by: diamond dave at November 19, 2004 04:35 PM (5qKGR)

4 It's a good one, but here's a little secret, gents: sometimes, we like a quickie. Oh yes. We love the men that go for hours. We love the marathon sessions. But sometimes, just stop drilling us and give us a raunchy 5 minutes. Really. It does the job just as well sometimes.

Posted by: Helen at November 20, 2004 03:29 AM (AeGVs)

5 Of course, I wouldn't trade my Sunday afternoons for anything. You know. Just in case someone was reading something into my post. There's a reason that women can scream like they do, after all. Good god, my comments are always raunchy. Sorry Jim

Posted by: Helen at November 20, 2004 03:30 AM (AeGVs)

6 Are you kidding me? Raunch is highly encouraged. I'm hunting traffic. ;-)

Posted by: Jim at November 22, 2004 08:49 AM (tyQ8y)

7 Helen, NEVER apologize... Ya know when I put in "Mike" it only gave me 1 hour and 49 minutes... Then I put in "Mike the Marine" and I got the correct answer: 6hrs 48mins Beat ya, Jim... WOOT!

Posted by: Mike the Marine at November 23, 2004 12:41 AM (PK/tF)

Hide Comments | Add Comment

What's cookin good lookin? Head over to Boudicca's Voice to find out. She's hosting the 14th Carnival of Recipes.

Don't mind me. I'm just going to sit here and salivate for a while.

Mmmmm...

Posted by: Jim at 12:03 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 40 words, total size 1 kb.

Lovely Wife sent me this very cool link: The World Sunlight Map

No more excuses for calling people at 3 in the morning and we can finally tell when Pixy is supposed to be awake without using a calculator or logarithms.

Posted by: Jim at 09:06 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 47 words, total size 1 kb.

The inestimable Anna has resurfaced, just as overloaded with estrogen and injected with testosterone as ever.

(Credit to Nick for the redwings thing. I never come up with stuff that clever.)

Posted by: Jim at 01:25 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 41 words, total size 1 kb.

Rob is closing in on his 1000th comment, a milestone in the life of any blog. My money says that he'll get there today.

Go and proove me right! (There's a prize in it for one of you.)

UPDATE: Rob tripped his meter this morning. Yay! Now go harrass the Wetwired crew. They're closing in on 2,000 comments and Pylorns has promised to dance naked in front of the Savoy when they get there.

Posted by: Jim at 05:41 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
Post contains 82 words, total size 1 kb.

1 I just did the trackback - backwards. I didn't even see your trackback yet on Rob's site, but I added to his count and then came here... wierd.

Posted by: Clancy at November 16, 2004 07:52 AM (JxYJc)

2 I dont know about dacing naked, but fnliii promises to dance on video with his ipod like they do in the ipod commercials - to the coke music "i want to break free" which is actually Queen.

Posted by: pylorns at November 16, 2004 02:05 PM (FTYER)

3 Psst-I will hit the 7,000th comment tomorrow!

Posted by: Helen at November 16, 2004 05:17 PM (AeGVs)

4 Well, unless my post tomorrow well and truly sucks that is. Which, at this stage of my day, is entirely possible.

Posted by: Helen at November 16, 2004 05:18 PM (AeGVs)

Hide Comments | Add Comment