While waiting for the elevator in the front lobby I overheard this conversation:

Old (very old) Lady: ...but he's NOT on the side of good. He's on the side of EVIL!

Security Guard: But he's...

Old (very old) Lady: (Interrupting) He's evil! You can't support something that's evil!

Security Guard: I don't think...

Old (very old) Lady: (Interrupting) I don't care if he did win the election. He'll never be my president!

Security Guard: It's not like you have a whole lot of choice at this point.

Old (very old) Lady: The hell I don't! I'm fighting for the side of good. I'll fight everything he does! And so will every other good Democrat!

Security Guard: (mutters)

I don't know what the muttering was but I can guess that it was along the lines of "Yeah, that's what I'm afraid of, you crazy old bat."

Thankfully this isn't a person I work with. From the looks of her she wandered in for a captive ear, knowing that the security guard couldn't leave the front desk area. My elevator got there at this point so I don't know how the security guard managed to end the conversation. They are armed with tasers and batons though so we can always hope...

(Credit for "Overheard" theme goes to Flibby. Here's a recent example of his handiwork in the arena.)

Posted by: Jim at 04:03 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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(Click for supah-size)

Sorry, y'all. I couldn't resist.

(Hat tip to Lovely Wife)

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"We are not going to give up until the last vote is counted."

"We give up."

Okay, it was a cheap shot but I couldn't resist. Kerry could have protracted things and extended the exceptional division that has marked this election. After some time to look things over and examine the options and probable repercussions he chose not to do so. Now lets see if they can put those thousands of lawyers back into Pandora's box.

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We at the Flying Pig party would like to thank all of our supporters for the hard work they did during this exciting presidential campaign. It was a good run, hard fought, and dearly paid for.

The contest was close but our analysts tell us that it is statistically impossible for us to pull in Ohio. To avoid the trials and tribulations of a protracted and divisive struggle we are conceding the Presidential race. We will not contest ballots in heavily Piggish districts nor will we file lawsuit after lawsuit in a pathetic attempt to escape the inevitable.

This is a time for healing the self-inflicted wounds that split our country during this highly charged election. A time to make rational thought and cooperation our goals. A time to erase the tri-partisan nature of our politics and make our government simply partisan.

Don't lose heart my friends. The Flying Pig party is still strong and dedicated. We will be back again in 2008 when next these elections come around. In the meantime we fully intend to support President Nader in any way possible and encourage all Piggies to do the same.

Thank you for your support,
Jim Peacock
Former Vice Presidential Candidate, Flying Pig Party

Posted by: Jim at 08:55 AM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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1 2008! If it weren't for our last-minute candidate change, we would have had this in the bag.

Posted by: Flibbertigibbet at November 03, 2004 12:59 PM (yaMs/)

2 You were robbed. You had at least one vote in Hong Kong, but it didn't show up on CNN.

Posted by: Simon at November 04, 2004 12:05 AM (OyeEA)

3 Well he had a vote from Israel also. I'm writing an angry letter off to fox and cnn. Heck, I'll just write off a whole lot of angry bitter letters. (can I run in 08? I'll let you get top billing!)

Posted by: Rachel Ann at November 04, 2004 05:35 AM (0uyki)

4 "to pull in Ohio". That means something very different to the English/Aussies/New Zealanders Are you trying to be elected, or get laid?

Posted by: Helen at November 04, 2004 06:15 AM (hT/v7)

5 Flibby - If only we hadn't lost Florida we would have had a chance. We'll get 'em next time. Simon - That's normal. Absentee ballots generally aren't counted for several after the election. I'm sure it'll show up in the final numbers. Rachel Ann - We can use all the help we can get and I'm sure we could find a cabinet level position for you. How does Secretary of State sound? Helen - Why not both? It worked for Clinton.

Posted by: Jim at November 05, 2004 05:42 AM (GCA5m)

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Waiting time to vote this morning was close to two hours. Later in the day it was still an hour plus. I left work at 4:30 and got to my polling location at 5:15 (did I tell you that I'm a commuter now? Yay).

No line. None. I was in and out in just a couple of minutes. The handful of people there with me were laughing and joking, their fear of a lengthy wait dissipated and leaving them lighthearted and lightheaded.

I'm assuming there was a lot of lightheadedness in the 4th Congressional district where they elected the shame of Georgia Cynthia McKinney again.

The moral of the story? Procrastination pays.

Got a minute? Why not stop by the Flying Space Monkey's totally unscientific but still relatively impartial exit poll?

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At least they are in the hands of a talented animator.

Political Bohemian Rhapsody

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So the veep candidates debated. Overall impression? A much better debate than the first Presidential one. Cheney is a fantastic speaker and Edwards is pretty decent too. Both seemed generally comfortable although Edwards did get rattled several times as the debate progressed.

Cheney gets points for speaking well and actually answering the debate questions for the most part. He loses points for looking like that pervy guy down the street that talks to the paper boy just a bit too long when he comes collecting.

Edwards gets points for fantastic hair and getting rid of the herpes sore on his lip from last Thursday. Miracles of modern medicine, I tell you what. Seriously though he speaks well but he's boring as hell. He never stops emoting and that is very wearying to watch. Check the clips - he does not ever stop moving for more than a second or two and he blinks at about 100 frames per second. This guy is too jumpy to be one anthrax laden letter away from the Oval Office.

Did anybody else look at Edwards and think "Dan Quayle as a Democrat"?

The big thing about the debates is if they will sway opinions. So did this one sway mine? Yes, a bit. I am more comfortable with Cheney as a second in command than I am with Edwards. If these two were going for the big chair Edwards would just have removed himself from serious consideration. As a result Edwards ends up as a negative in the Dem column while Cheney is a plus in the Rep column.

Not that it matters at all since we'll all be voting "Flying Pig" this go-round. Right?

Posted by: Jim at 11:56 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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How much does the debate matter though? It's pretty much the same for us no matter who's in the penthouse.

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Nicky is very inexperienced and somewhat at a loss about how to go about things, especially without the generally required equipment. He ends up 'mounting' whatever end of Kota that he happens to be located nearest.

It gives new meaning to the term "Fucked in the head".

Posted by: Jim at 10:42 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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As you know, Kota (aka Scarface) is in her first heat. She's a bit 'off' in the head but seems to be handling things okay. Nicky on the other hand, is not. Nicky is nutless in a literal sense but he is still responding to the pheromones/hormones/whatever that Kota is putting out.

He keeps trying to hump her.

It's such a sad and pathetic scene. He has as much experience with female dogs in heat as Kota has being one. That is, none. He can't do anything productive since he has no balls. She's so much bigger than he is (labrador vs. terrier) that it's almost comical to watch. Perhaps the funniest thing is that Kota doesn't even pay attention to him. He'll try to grab on and go to town and she'll just lie there playing with a toy or whatever she was doing until she gets up and walks away leaving him with a sad and bewildered look on his face.

I was laughing (quietly, so as not to further humiliate the dog) at this yesterday when I had a disturbing thought. Nicky is incapable of doing what he wants to do. He is following deep rooted commands that are a part of his very being, he has no option not to keep trying to do what he can never do correctly. He is acting and reacting based solely on how he has been conditioned and bred to act and react. No matter how stupid he looks or how much people laugh at him or what an ass he makes of himself he will not stop until the conditions that are prompting him are removed.

Nicky is John Kerry, Kota is the USA and her heat is the election cycle. Is that spooky or what?

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The Scene: A cook-out at the Peacock house (slow cooked beef ribs, chicken breasts and bun length hot dogs). Sounds of bad karaoke float over the hills from a neighbor's house.

Dopple-G: What is that noise? Is somebody else having a party?

Lovely Wife: It's some karaoke or wedding singer or something. He was doing Dido last night.

Jim: There's nothing quite so sad as an off-key tenor singing Dido.

Dopple-G: The problem with wedding singers is they all sing the exact same songs. They need to expand their repertoire, put in some songs that rock. You know what they really need? They need to sing some...

Trey and Jim: (Interjecting simultaneously) Metallica.

Dopple-G: ...Metallica.

The spooky part here is that to the best of my recollection Trey and I hadn't ever gotten* into a discussion about music in general or Metallica in particular. Are we just both warped in the same fashion or did we both just read Dopple-G that well?

Either way I think we've successfully addressed two things here. First, we're obviously a natural team so the Flying Pig party isn't going to be subject to the divisive inter-party sniping that plagues the big parties. Second, Bread Fan will make an excellent replacement for Hail to the Chief.

* I really hate "gotten". Yes I know it's a real word and yes it is used correctly here but I really, really don't like that word. I use it now in self flaggelation just in case I've got some karmic debt that I don't know about.

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D-D-Did I say Cam-Cam-C-C-C-C-Cambodia?

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1 Hehe, I knew that guy looked familiar

Posted by: Jacqui at August 25, 2004 04:49 PM (hJm9t)

2 And I swear I posted my comment before I saw the next picture! Whoops!

Posted by: Jacqui at August 25, 2004 04:50 PM (hJm9t)

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I-I served in Viet-Viet-V-V-V-Vietnam!

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UPDATE: This one has suddenly become topical too so I'm topping it.

Some folks have been giving Helen some guff because she's a strong supporter of a certain right-wing weblog. Right off the bat I have a low opinion of them. You get to the point where you think you should be telling other people how to think and you are past the point of rational discourse in my book. What really burns my butt here is the weblog these people are complaining about. You're all familiar with it to some extent because you're reading it right now.

Yeah, isn't that a kick and a half for your ass? Snooze Button Dreams viewed as a right-wing blog?

I ended up at 0,0 on the Political Compass. I voted for Al "Watch Me Implode" Gore, y'all. That's how right-wing I am.

If I had to be pigeon holed into a major party I'd have to pick "fuck you, no I don't either". I am one of those rare breed of citizens who looks at issues instead of parties. All politicians are scum to one extent or another. I firmly believe that there is something fundamentally wrong with anybody who would run for public office. There's a mental disjoin required for anybody to want to be a politician. I am most certainly not going to align myself with any group of fundamentally unsound persons.

There are some parts of a traditional Republican agenda that I agree with. There are some parts of a traditional Democratic agenda that I agree with. Same with Libertarians, Reformists and even a bit of Green. I do not fall neatly (or even sloppily) into any of these groups.

So why do casual viewers think I'm a conservative? There are a couple of reasons that I can think of:

1. I think that Michael Moore is a bag of puss.


2. I absolutely despise the Clintons.


3. I am hawkish on actions in Afghaniraq.


4. I have an American flag in my sidebar. (I've got one on my van too. And two on my house.)


5. I believe that the War on Terror is a real war that we need to pursue vigilantly and mercilessly.


6. I believe that it is wrong to slaughter Jews.

These items have become associated with the Republican party and therefore these people are painting me with the conservative brush. That happens when you rush to a snap decision or when you are small-minded enough that you must stick people into your own preconceived categories. People who have taken the time to know me have discovered why I think that Michael Moore is a bag of puss (because he's a lying bastard), why I despise the Clintons (because they are lying bastards; also, Hillary is one shade light of Stalin), why I'm hawkish on actions in the Middle East (because that is where the terrorists come from), why I have American flags all over (because I love my country; I love being a part of the greatest nation in the world and I am proud to show everybody how much I support her), why I'm so pro-War on Terror (because these people are wrong and evil and won't ever stop until we kill all of them; think mini-Terminators only not so tough), and why I am against killing Jews (do I really need something in the parenthesis for this one?).

Add to that my dislike of waste and big government, my intolerance of idiocy and my perfect willingness to write off any person, group, country or continent that does not agree with the last two items on that list and that probably explains why these people have jumped to the wrong conclusion about my politics.

Who are these people anyway? I don't know them and I doubt I ever will. The reason why is probably another reason that they've incorrectly assumed I'm a right-wing type. If you look at my blogroll you won't see many political blogs but most of the ones you see are right leaning. There is a very good reason for this. I have found leftish blogs to be increasingly strident and angry over the past year. I have lost a few blogs from my blogroll, written by people I liked, because it became painful to read them. I honestly can't hear any more from the Bush Lied crowd. I can't stand hearing explanations of moral equivalence, bashing against America, and hysterical hyperbole about the government any longer. People that polarize and publish to the left just seem to be getting bitchier and bitchier and I'm sick of listening to it.

Besides, I read political blogs mainly for the news perspectives. I can get the lefty slant on news items through Reuters and AP feeds or any number of regular newspapers.

To sum up, if you happen to be one of the people giving Helen a hard time please knock it the hell off. First, you are a jackass for doing it. Second, you are wrong. Third, I really mean it - you are a jackass.

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I'm happy to say that yesterday was primary voting here in Georgia and nobody took in more votes for the Flying Pig party than Trey and I did!

Can I get a hallelujiah?

* Alternate title: Making the primaries our bitch

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"To vilify a great man is the readiest way in which a little man can himself attain greatness" - Edgar Allan Poe

"Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo." - H. G. Wells

"I prefer tongue-tied knowledge to ignorant loquacity." - Marcus Tullius Cicero

"A narrow mind and a fat head invariably come on the same person." - Zig Ziglar

"He steps on stage and draws the sword of rhetoric, and when he is through, someone is lying wounded and thousands of others are either angry or consoled." - Pete Hamill

"If one is to be called a liar, one may as well make an effort to deserve the name." - A. A. Milne

"Ill deeds are doubled with an evil word." - William Shakespeare

"The liberal soul shall be made fat." - Bible

"Through clever and constant application of propaganda, people can be made to see paradise as hell, and also the other way round, to consider the most wretched sort of life as paradise." - Adolf Hitler

Can you think of any other quotes that could have been written about Michael Moore?

Posted by: Jim at 08:37 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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Seems like I'm posting a lot about politics lately, doesn't it? It's probably because with the election coming up the stupid factor is increasing to near astronomic proportions. Take this bullshit for instance. The Feds have made it illegal for US citizens to buy cheap drugs from outside of America. Ostensibly this is to guarantee quality through Federal controls on pharmaceutical companies. That by itself is total horse shit but I'm not going to get into the reasons why in this particular rant. No, this particular rant deals with the exceptionally warm and deep pile of horse shit that our politicians are currently attempting to spread.

They are now trying to pass legislation to allow people to purchase from foreign drug markets and their reasoning is just as bad as it was for the current embargo - they say that we can save money by buying drugs from Canada. They are using this as a sop to the masses. "We feel your pain! We'll let you buy cheap drugs, that's how much we care! All your problems will go away with cross-border pharmaceuticals!"

Bullshit. more...

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Who can name the only government handout program where millions can be given to a single individual with absolutely no consideration of his/her need for the money? Here are a couple of hints:

WIC: Nope. The income of the parents is the deciding factor.
Welfare: Nope. Again, income is the key.
Medicaide/Medicaire: Nope. Money again. If they don't think you need the program you don't get it.

There's only one government program (hint: it's a Federal one) where up to 75 million dollars is given to a person no matter how much money he/she earns and regardless of their assets or any realistic need for the money.

The answer is in the extended entry. more...

Posted by: Jim at 09:10 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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Why vote for Bush? What is there to support about Kerry? Let the candidates tell you themselves. In song.

(Hat tip to Simon)

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Leahy and Cheney went at it, trading some fairly rude cuts. Cheney lost it and dropped a "fuck" on Leahy. So? This wasn't a speech on the open floor. It was two antagonistic partisans sparring in a private conversation.

Using profanity on the Senate floor while the Senate is [in] session is against the rules. But the Senate was technically not in session at the time and the normal rules did not apply, a Senate official said.

Did you see that up there? I corrected the grammar in a CNN article. I do so totally kick ass. Back to the issue at hand:

Why do they do things like this? Why the "technically" not in session? It was picture day and the Senate was not not in session in any fashion, period and end of story. Why do they have to add in the unnecessary qualifier of "technically"? It's so the reader will think that Cheney is taking advantage of a loophole to escape his just punishment for his potty mouth.

In response to Cheney, Leahy reminded Cheney that the vice president had once accused him of being a bad Catholic, to which Cheney replied either "f--- off" or "go f--- yourself."

All of this hullabaloo over a profanity and nobody even knows which profanity was used? Color me unimpressed. Leahy was interviewed about it and they didn't ask him what the profanity was? Rightsuretheydidn't. Leahy doesn't remember what Cheney said because they were in the midst of an argument and the profanity didn't register. Pat's got to be pretty used to people telling him to fuck off, fuck himself, stick things in his fucking ass, etc.

No, what happened is that somebody close enough to eavesdrop heard part of a profanity. When Cheney and Leahy were done he went up to Leahy and said something like "Pat, did he just tell you to go fuck yourself?" and Leahy responded with something like "Fuck off, go fuck myself, yeah - something like that. Why?" Then the eavesdropper said "Do you know that profanity is against the rules of the Senate?" and Pat said "Fuckin A? Son of a bitch that's fucking awesome! We got that cocksucker now!"

But when they went to rat on Cheney they were told that the profanity rule (like all of the rules of order) is only in effect when the Senate is in session and today was picture day and the Senate was not in session. No crime, no foul. So Leahy probably dropped it with a little moue on his face but the eavesdropper decided he'd give it to the press and let them run with it.

I pledge that when I am Vice President I will refrain from ever using profanity on the floor of the Senate, whether it's in session or not, unless the brainless mother fuckers totally deserve it or I'm really angry. In either of those cases all bets are off.

Posted by: Jim at 03:08 PM | Comments (11) | Add Comment
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