And he's headed straight for my Cheddar X!

1. Of the cast of characters in your life today, who amongst them are people that you cannot envisage your life without?
Lovely Wife and G. And that's not because they'll be reading this sometime either. I have no idea what I would do or where I would be if Lovely Wife wasn't in my life but I know it wouldn't be anywhere close to where I am now. Same with G - he's my cousin but he's also (and more importantly) my best friend.

2. If you could name a Talk Like Day (as in our recent Talk Like a Pirate Day), what day would you initiate?
How about Talk Like an Intelligent Adult Day? For one day there would be no Spanglish, Ebonics, pidgin English, colloquial butchery, slanglish, etc.

3. What's your favorite home remedy for a cold or flu?
For a cold I don't have one. Either suck it up or self medicate. You will not beat a cold no matter what the advertisers tell you. For a flu I recommend large quantities of alcohol. Hey, if you're going to be miserable with a splitting head and puke bucket next to the bed anyway then you might as well. It's like a "Get out of Hangover Free" card.

4. What's your most embarassing moment? (I could swear this has been asked before but I can't find it anywhere)
You're thinking of "What's the absolute dumbest thing you've done?". My answer to that one works for this one too.

5. What's the funniest product name you've come across or invented?
Colon Blow cereal and New Super Colon Blow - with twigs! in honor of the plethora of root and bark breakfast options that became available a few years ago.

6. What's your ideal honeymoon?
A couple weeks at the Playboy Mansion would fit the bill. Okay, so it might not be the most romantic setting but if you can tell your buds that you spent your honeymoon at the Playboy Mansion do you know how many Guy Points you would get? That's like hitting the Lottery right there!

Extra Credit
10 points to anybody (except G) who can tell me where the title to this post came from.

Posted by: Jim at 08:58 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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Faster than a hit counter during an Instalanche, more cheesy than those nasty new chips from Nabisco, able to leap clean over the Friday 5 in a single bound, it's the Cheddar X.

1. This one's from Lileks: “Families of terrorists who blow up men, women and children, some of whom are Americans, no longer receive money from Saddam, because Saddam no longer rules Iraq. Is this a good thing, or a bad thing? Explain.”
I'm not so sure that the premise of the question is correct. If Saddam is still alive, as most intelligence sources believe, he isn't hurting for cash. Continuing to funnel money to Exploder Corp would still be a worthwhile venture for him. Keeps the goodwill of the terrorists and sets up a retreat for him if needed. If he can make it to the occupied territories nobody can go in and touch him without being branded as anti-Pal for invading them. To answer the question though - Yes, it is a very good thing. The less support that there is for radical terrorist groups the better it is for all concerned.

2. You've got the Magic Button of Death. Every time you press the button the person you want to kill will die. One other random person will also die. Do you use the button? Who do you whack?
Do you remember that video game Track & Field? The faster you pressed the button the faster your guy would run and there was no upper limit. To get ludicrous high scores you would lace a comb through the fingers of your left hand, rest the edge of the comb on the button and then do an impersonation of the worlds fastest telegraph operator. Now picture me with the Magic Button, a comb and a great big grin. The list of people who need to die for the betterment of mankind is long but Arafat and Hussein would definitely top the list. Former likely targets such as Charles Taylor would be spared to encourage other Evils in Power to step down peacefully.

Okay, daydream is over now. No, I don't think I could actually use the button. It's not because I have any problem with taking the life of a Hussein, Arafat or bin Laden. It's because of the "Monkey's Paw" clause that takes the life of a random person when The Button is used. I know that collateral deaths are a regrettable but inevitable part of targetted strikes. I know that a single casualty to take out these monsters is way better than any real world situation could provide. I also know that taking them out would save dozens, hundreds, even thousands of lives in the future. I just don't think that I could bring myself to take that one random life in order to do it.

Maybe I'd give my button to Rumsfield and then watch for the inevitable signs of carpal tunnel syndrome.

3. You've won a million dollars with the conditions that you can only use it to purchase things for yourself and anything you haven't spent in a month is forfeit. What do you buy?
1983 Porche 911 Turbo Cabriolet, approximately $50,000.
2004 Itasca Horizon, approximately $100,000.
House of my dreams, approximately $300,000 (I have moderate tastes).
Every kick ass widget and geejaw that a geek could have a wet dream over (plasma TVs, PCs from Hell, Bang & Olufsen systems, etc.), probably around $125,000.
Stocks, bonds, gold bars, other assets would make up the remainder.

4. You've won a million free and clear. What do you do with it?
"If I had a million dollars, I would buy you a monkey. Haven't you always wanted a monkey?"

Houses and cars get paid off for Pops, G, Moms, S-Sis and S-Bro. Moms gets a house in Georgia, Lil Bro gets a new piano and coffee maker plus tuition paid (he's hard to shop for). Pay off debts for Lovely Wife & Me. Buy the dream house noted above, new minivan for Lovely Wife, car for me. New PCs for Lovely Wife & myself. Kick Ass tree house/fort/playground for the kids. Great Dane for Lovely Wife. Trip to Hawaii for all of us. The rest goes to savings and investments.

5. What song or band do you listen to when you want to reminisce or visit a moment in your past? What's the moment?
Rough question for me. I pretty much stopped listening to music for enjoyment around a decade ago. I'll occasionally use it for background noise and if somebody else has it on that's cool. I'll even play DJ at a party when the muse strikes me but I can't remember the last time I instigated music for the sake of listening to it. That said, if I happen to hear Led Zeppelin or Nirvana it takes me back to OR Tech school in Oakland. Concrete Blond will bring me back to my days rooming at E's house in Amherst. Hall & Oats puts me way back to my proto-geek days when I first discovered RPGs and video games made their debut.

6. Can you know what someone is like just based on how they look or act without meeting them?
In the absolute sense it's dangerous to assume that you know a person based on their appearance. I myself will most often be found in a moderately ripped t-shirt and threadbare shorts though I'm a far cry from what that would typically indicate. I wear those because they have not yet invented polo shirts and slacks that are as comfortable and I am all about comfortable. In the abstract, yes, you can. Appearances do count and generally speaking you can tell a lot about a person (or the person they are trying to be) by the image they are projecting. If you've got a punk haircut and a chain running between the rings in your eyebrows, nose and chin then I'm going to assume that you're a punk until you prove otherwise. If you show up to work in a skirt suit, delightful perfume, just the right amount of leg showing and a decent amount of heel under your shoe then I'm going to take you seriously and give you the benefit of an assumption of intelligence and class. That's assuming that you're female. If you are a guy dressed like that then I'm going to have an entirely different set of preconceived notions.

Posted by: Jim at 07:56 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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