Okay, so I'm getting pretty experienced with pain management. The crap I've got requires some form of external medication in order for me to function like a relatively normal person. I say relatively because, let's just face facts here, I ain't never gonna be accused of being normal. Hehe.

Anyway, the specialist I saw (the last doc I saw about whatever I've got) gave me Vioxx. This worked pretty well. When i was taking Vioxx I was pretty much back to regular function. General lack of pain, free body movement, wrestling with the kids, lifting heavy objects, stuff like that. The only thing it didn't really tackle was my feet. Still, it worked and I was in better shape for using it.

Then Vioxx was recalled because it kills people. People on Vioxx have a higher risk of heart attacks and strokes.

Fuck.

I kept taking it anyway, seeing as I didn't have that many left and am not in any particular risk category for heart problems. I looked forward to the day when I could see the doc again and get a prescription for Celebrex, which was the drug that Vioxx users were being switched to (in the majority).

In the meantime I needed something of the over-the-counter variety. I went to my old friends acetaminophen and acetylsalicylic acid. They'd carried me through many a hangover and headache. They sucked. Didn't really get rid of the pain at all. I tried ibuprofen. That worked pretty well but not for a very long time and I had to take a pretty large dose for it to work. It also started to make me violently ill.

Enter naproxen sodium. More commonly known as Naprox or Aleve. Aaaaaahhh!!! (<--- Angels singing)

It worked. Really well. Maybe not quite so well as Vioxx but well enough to function and no stomach problems, no need to overdose. I was happy and relieved that I had found something that worked to take me through to when I could get Celebrex.

Then late last week some problems surfaced regarding Celebrex. It seems that it kills people. People on Celebrex have a higher risk of heart attacks and strokes.

Fuck!

What the hell is up here? Now the FDA is looking into the entire class of drugs and it's possible that they might all be classified as unsafe. The entire class of drugs! This is the class of drugs specifically designed to get rid of the pain I've got.

Fuck!!

But wait, there's more. On my ride into work this morning I heard about a test that is being aborted because the drugs being tested were greatly increasing the risks of patient's suffering heart attacks and strokes. The drugs involved? Celebrex and naproxen.

Fucking Aleve, which has been on the market for 30 years, over the counter for more than a decade, regarded by all as one of the safest pain killers available, is suddenly found to increase risk factors for heart attacks and strokes but this isn't discovered until I need it?

Fuck you, universe!

Posted by: Jim at 11:59 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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I don't think fear of heights is properly characterized as a phobia. I think it lies more along the lines of "proper appreciation for gravity". It's really misnamed anyway - isn't it really a fear of falling to a painful and grizzly death? What could be more rational than that?

My life would probably have been a lot safer if I had that common sense response. Unfortunately for my insurance company I'm one of those freaks who likes falling. That tickling feeling you get when you look down from a height? The one that happens when your stomach is trying to invert itself and crawl behind your kidneys for protection? I love that feeling. more...

Posted by: Jim at 11:57 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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Way back in the early days of 2004 I began the Tactlessly Correct movement with a rant about political correctness. The discussion in that post is still continuing.

The current debate centers on the replacement of "Oriental" with "Asian". That's got me thinking. I have a goodly bit of Asian blood in me (1/4th of the total amount, if my math is correct). Great Grandma and Great Grandpa Laub immigrated from Byelorus. Sure they were caucasian but Byelorus is most definitely in Asia. I'm going to start checking the "Asian" box now whenever the "heritage" question comes up on the government forms.

I wonder how that will work out. I'm as white as the pure driven snow but I can genuinely claim to be of Asian descent.

Actually, now that I think of it I'm not quite as white as the pure driven snow. I'm actually only as white as the snow the day after it falls since I can claim Indian heritage as well. Nana was 1/2 Iroquois after all and that makes me 1/8th native. Maybe I'll alternate between "Asian" and "Native American" on those forms.

Or maybe I'll just start selecting "Other" and put down "American". Claiming anything else as my "heritage" is just sophistry.

Posted by: Jim at 11:55 AM | Comments (8) | Add Comment
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1 I think Asian and Native American are the same thing. Didn't you guys walk across the now sunken bridge between Asia and Alaska and populate North, Central and South America? If I were you I'd be pissed. You weren't even considered for best Asian blog. As far as the 1/2 Iroquios goes, I wish I could say that. Man, I'd be playing that up big. Aside from the cool factor, you could probably start a casino in your basement.

Posted by: Paul at December 15, 2004 02:31 PM (vbP6L)

2 As an aside, the Oriental comes from latin, orien. It means to rise, or the diection of the sunrise. In other words, Orient means East. Oriental is a person from the East. I can't see anytone being upset by that unless they were a WestCoast rapper.

Posted by: Paul at December 15, 2004 02:43 PM (vbP6L)

3 Georgia clay. No basement. Then again our crawl space runs the full length of the house. Maybe a casino that caters to dwarfs?

Posted by: Jim at December 15, 2004 03:01 PM (tyQ8y)

4 You could also move to the reservation,tell the US government to go fuck themselves,pay no longer taxes or live by US laws and simply sell cigarrets....live in a t railer,become an alcoholic and bitch about the white man and his fire water all day...you could be THE steretype of ALL stereotypes!

Posted by: LW at December 15, 2004 03:42 PM (GCA5m)

5 I could do better than that. I could meld and combine all of the stereotypes from the Indians, the Irish, the English, the German and the Byelorus. Do the Byelorus have any stereotypes? Any Asians in the audience who could help out here?

Posted by: Jim at December 15, 2004 03:46 PM (tyQ8y)

6 i'm asian and personally, i find the term "oriental," when used in reference to people, to be offensive and distasteful. i was just reading the following and it sums up my feelings about the issue better than i could: " a) it brings up bad history. the terms "Orient" and "oriental" were popular in the heyday of Western colonialism. usage of the term is an automatic cue for references to the British Raj, the Opium War, the occupation of the Phillipines, and other events and periods in which the inhabitants of Asian countries were enslaved, victimized, or otherwise mistreated by Europeans (and later, Americans). b) it has problematic racial and political connotations. while "Orient" translates simply as "The East," over time, an ideological paradigm emerged that spun itself around the term: The Orient was seen as the farthest point from civilization (i.e. Europe) and thus a region of barbarism, exotic custom, and strange delight. "Orientals" were conceived of as mysterious and inscrutable, with traditions and beliefs so different as to be inhuman - and thus requiring of either speculative study or religious evangelism. As social historian Edward Said detailed in his seminal book of that name, the intent and result of orientalism was the objectification of cultures in Asia and the Middle East, providing a rationale for colonial subjugation, missionary conversion, and military adventure, it later also created a context for domestic racism and xenophobia. It's nonspecific. As perceived by Western Europeans, "The Orient" included all of Turkey, the Middle East, Asia and to a lesser extent the Pacific Islands. An Iranian was therefore just as "Oriental" as a Chinese person, though in contemporary times, the term is never used in that manner. While "Asian" is not much more specific, it at least is a term bounded by geography, rather than paradigm. It would be difficult to argue that "Orientals" shared anything in common, other than in the feverish minds of European orientalists. c) It doesn't have an appropriate counterpart. The most subtle yet invidious problem with the term "Oriental" is that it stands alone: No one refers to Europeans as "Occidentals." Consider the term "Orient" only has meaning in the West; in the East, it is the Americas and Europe that are foreign and "outside," and most Asian cultures have similar but inverted conceptions referring to "The West." Hemispheric definitions are always problematic, since the world is, after all, round; but at least the terms East and West don't come loaded with imagery and history of "Orient" and "Occident." d) It's more appropriately used for inanimate objects. The establishment of trade routes linking the nations of Asia and the Middle East (which occurred long before the opening of Asia to the West) meant that commodities and other goods were regularly transmitted between cultures. As a result, when one refers to Oriental spices or rugs, one has a stable rationale from which to speak: spices and rugs are among the only things that the mixed bags of peoples known as "Orientals" actually had in common. In general, the use of the adjective in relation to inanimate objects or abstract concepts has largely been considered acceptable, if not embraced (there are people who still prefer speaking of Asian spices, or breaking down rugs into Persian, Indian, and Chinese carpets).

Posted by: mamazilla at December 15, 2004 05:39 PM (3Hc1Z)

7 mamazilla, I can't sepak for anyone else, but thanks for posting that. I always wondered what the rationale was for that. I think I was belwildered mostly because the term 'Oriental' doesn't really hold any negative connotation with me. I doubt that many Americans do, but I'm sure you're correct when it comes to Europe. I don't understand why inanimate objects can be classified that way, though. It seems consistent to call spices and rugs Asian spices or Asian rugs. Go figure. On an unrelated note... Since we're talking about politically correct references, I prefer to be referred to as a Buccaneer-American instead of 'dirty pirate', thank you very much.

Posted by: Garret at December 16, 2004 07:44 AM (IOwam)

8 mamazilla, a) The terms were popular since regular trade was established between Europe and the Orient. I myself am not cued to the Raj, any wars, occupations, enslavement, victimization or other mistreatment by the terms and I have yet to meet anybody who is. When you hear "Oriental" do you think of a fat Brit on a howdah? No, you think of a somewhat short person with dark hair and epicanthic folds. b) Edward Said is to social history what Michael Moore is to documentary. While the original connotation may have included Turkey and the Middle East even your quote says that this is not longer so. Orientals do share things in common including general similarity in body build and facial characteristics as well as social constructs like writing styles (symbolic characters). To say these don't exist is either wishful thinking or an outright lie. Grouping terms do not imply that all described members are the same, only that they share a set of characteristics. The French are culturally dissimilar to the Scots yet they are both European. The Ethiopians and Zulu have almost no societal common ground but are both African. The Pawnee and Iroquois have exceptional differences in every aspect of their society but are both Indian tribes. c) Oriental has perfect counterparts. I listed several of them in section "b". You do not need to define an opposite to have counterparts. What is the opposite of blue? There isn't one, though red, orange, yellow, green, indigo and violet are its counterparts in the visible spectrum of light. Oriental is not used as a hemispherical description so I'm not sure why that argument was made. Oriental doesn't mean "not here", it refers to a people and area in the general southeast of Asia. d) Once again this argument says that the peoples we think of as Oriental have nothing in common (except rugs). That simply is not true. But I think you've missed the entire point of my post, which is likely my fault as I didn't develop the post nearly as well as I should have. Oriental, caucasian, hispanic, african, et al are all descriptions of the appearance of groups of people. I for one am sick of being classified and counted based on what I look like. I am especially sick of this color-casting being done under the guise of "heredity". I'm American. My heredity is American for several generations. The whole "I'm checking the 'Asian' box" thing was to expose the skin-tone seeking bullshit for what it is. (And to have a bit of fun with it, of course.) My point is that I will be answering "American" any time I am asked what my heredity is even though (especially though) I know that what they want to ask for is my pantone number.

Posted by: Jim at December 16, 2004 12:56 PM (tyQ8y)

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I meant to write this a while ago. In fact I started to write it several times. Each time I did it got bigger and more confusing and was abandoned. So here goes the ultimate stripped down version:

1. The illness I mentioned casually here, the one I was taking medication for, is a bit more serious than I let on.


2. Around the time I first heard that I was going to be out of a job I started to get sick. Pain all over. Very nasty.


3. Didn't see a doctor right away - thought it was stress from the crap at work.


4. Eventually went to the doctor when I could no longer NOT go to a doctor.


5. Preliminary diagnosis of fybromyalgia (means "everything hurts") - I had every symptom, seemed a pretty safe diagnosis.


6. Tests showed high levels of serum aldolase (muscle protein in my blood) indicating spontaneous muscle degeneration.


7. Doc took about half of my blood (7 tubes! WTF?) to run a series of every blood test known to man.


8. Doc gave me Ambien so I could get some sleep and Zoloft to restore my natural sleep cycle, which had been totally fubarred from the illness.


9. Zoloft eliminated my creative writing abilities. And my imagination. It made me very lumpish. This was very disconcerting.


10. Ruled out fibromyalgia. Possibly could be polymyositis or dermatomyositis, both of which sound way less "venereal diseasish" than fybromyalgia.


11. My job was eliminated and I joined the ranks of the unemployed.


12. Went to a specialist.


13. Specialist took more blood, a load of x-rays and gave me Vioxx for the pain.


14. Specialist ruled out the non venereal diseasish sounding illnesses.


15. Specialist diagnosed the feet as having severe Plantar Fasciitis.


16. Specialist injected molten lava (aka cortisone) into my plantar tendons. No, check that. Molten lava probably wouldn't have hurt that badly.


17. I vowed to kill anybody who ever threatens me with cortisone injections. The jury will accept my assertion that it was done in self-defense.


18. Began feeling progressively better.


19. Tests came back.


20. Serum aldolase levels getting lower.


21. Specialist informs me that I have a genetic disposition to some bad bone problems later in life. Unrelated to current problems.


22. Specialist gives me diagnosis of "spontaneous muscle degeneration, source unknown, possibly viral".


23. Specialist loads me up with Vioxx because...


24. COBRA insurance coverage runs out. No money to keep this going.


25. Vioxx is recalled from the market.


26. Ran out of Ambien.


27. Got a job. Yay!


28. Stopped taking Zoloft.


29. Brain returned to normal function. Yay!


30. I vowed to kill anybody who ever threatens me with Zoloft. The jury will accept my assertion that it was done in self-defense.


31. Ran out of Vioxx. Yeah, I was still taking it. Choice between functional with chance of heart attack or non-functional. Functional won.


32. Stopped feeling progressively better.


33. Started feeling worse.


34. Got insurance again. Yay!


35. First day off will be in January. Will try to get Saturday appointment with docs before then.

And there we are. Currently I'm functional. I'm in nowhere near the shape I was in when I finally surrendered my stubbornocity and went to see my doc. (Incidentally, he had some choice words for me over my decision to wait so long before coming in.) I can walk around, just not real walking like we used to do. I can stand on my feet long enough to cook dinner. I can wrestle with the boys. I'm basically fully functional, just with limited duration.

Please do not be pissed that I didn't mention all of this months ago. At first I didn't know what was going on, then my normal obstinacy kicked in, then it was explained to me in no uncertain terms by a certain somebody who will remain nameless though you may recognize her from her supreme fisking skills (even though she hates fisking) that the view from outside is that of friends who care and are genuinely concerned and feel pretty shat upon that I played this so close to the vest so I decided that I would indeed let some folks know about it, then I figured I'd make a post about it, then the post got too big and complicated, then I basically relegated the whole thing to the back burner, then another friend inquired yesterday and I remembered just why I was going to make a post in the first place, so then I wrote this post that has gotten much larger than I was planning on writing but what the hell I'm at the very end now so it's finished and I can just publish it and call it a done deal.

Posted by: Jim at 11:55 AM | Comments (12) | Add Comment
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