THE "WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?" BLOGGER QUIZ

1. Who the hell do you think you are?
By day I am Jim Peacock, intemperate humorist and caller of attention to the myriad wonders of life. By night I am usually asleep.

2. So, other than blogging, what's your job? Do you work at some fast food joint, dumbass?
I'm a Quality Assurance Specialist. One way to look at this would to say I ensure that the software developed my company is error free and up to spec before it is released to our customers. Another way to look at it is that I have done my job well if I can reduce the hard work of my development counterparts to so much slagged code pudding on a semi-regular basis.

3. Do you have like any experience in journalism, idiot?
I wrote jokes and "meaningful passages" in a whole shit-load of yearbooks back in high school.

4. Do you even read newspapers?
Newspapers? I thought those were just to get the burn barrel started.

5. Do you watch any other news than FOX News propaganda, you ignorant fool?
Hell, I don't even watch FOX News propaganda. The only television news I get are the advertisements for local newscasts. Stuff like "All of the water in Georgia condemned by the CDC. Tune in at 11."

6. I bet you're some moron talk radio listener too, huh?
Yeah, but it's NPR that I listen to. A couple of times each week when I'm driving myself to work.

7. So, do you get a fax from the GOP each day for what to say, you @#$% Republican parrot?
How rude. Calling me a parrot. It's "Peacock", thank you very much.

8. Why do you and your blogger friends want to silence and fire everyone who disagrees with you, fascist?
Mostly because they are so incredibly annoying. That and the old "a weapon unused is a useless weapon" argument.

9. Are you completely ignorant of other countries, or do you actually own a passport?
What does the one have to do with the other? There are millions of people right here in the States who are from other countries and lack a passport. If they don't need one then why should I?

10. Have you even been to another country, you dumb hick?
I've been to Canada and Mexico. Although the titty bars in Canada are much cleaner the hookers cost way more. Other than that they're pretty similar.

11. If your so keen on the war, why haven't you signed up, chickenhawk?
Actually, I tried. Bureaucratic inefficiency and incomprehensible discharge documents prevented me from re-enlisting.

12. Do you have any idea of the horrors of war? Have you ever reached into a pile of goo that was your best friend's face?
Yeah, I do. I was a Navy Corpsman. I worked in Balboa Naval Hospital and treated quite a few downed sailors (including a SEAL who I wasn't allowed to talk to and I was not allowed to refer to the gaping holes in his back as shotgun wounds). For my Reserve duties we used to train at the VA hospital. Lots of horror there too.

I've never had any goo-faced friends but I admit to being a bit shallow in that regard.

13. Have you ever reached into any pile of goo?
Just your sister.

14. Once again, who the hell do you think you are?!
I'm a poppa, I'm a hubby, I'm a midnight libertarian. I take my music on the run.

Posted by: Jim at 04:00 PM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
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Wooh, can't wait to see what flies out of Google with this post title.

I'm talking about my anal retentive nature, of course. Last night it struck me again just how anal I can be. We were heading to bed and Lovely Wife got there first. I went around the bed, underneath the comforter and pulled the sheets tight, re-tucking the bottom sheet where possible. Just like I always do. This was despite the fact that Lovely Wife was already in bed and the sheets were already straightened. It was also despite the fact that I realized the sheets were straight about half-way into the routine and finished doing it anyway.

Dopple-G used to complain loudly and constantly about my sandwich making peculiarities at work. This was back when we both worked at the same place and usually ate lunch together. My typical sandwich was a tuna sandwich with cheese. The bread had to be toasted one and a half times due to the crappy nature of the toaster there. It also took forever, also due to the crappy nature of the toaster. Then the tuna fish went on, mayo and pepper only. Then the cheddar cheese. The sandwich had to get nuked enough to melt the cheese. If any of these components was off, I didn't eat the sandwich.

It seems that once I get into a routine for a certain length of time it turns into an iron-clad obligation. The rules must not be broken, cannot be shirked. I think I'm salvageable though. I don't do that sandwich thing any more. After months of the sandwich at work cycle being forcibly suppressed (ie. unemployment) it faded and passed. I suppose if I slept on the couch for a month I'd break the sheet tightening thing also.

Fortunately Lovely Wife has high tolerance for my eccentricities so the couch thing isn't too likely.

Excuse me but it's time for another cup of coffee. I must go wash and dry my mug before refilling it.

Posted by: Jim at 12:48 PM | Comments (8) | Add Comment
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Hey, remember way back last week when I did the Give it to me, Baby post? I've got the answers to all those questions. And since only gals were involved in the inquisition there's a lot of sex questions. Enjoy!

(Aside to Victor and Clancy - "Give It To Me Baby" by Rick James.)

From Holly:

How tall are you?
I'm taller than Michael J. Fox but shorter than French Stewart. I was 5'6" when we moved to Georgia but I suspect repeated body slams from the children have reduced this somewhat.

Where did you go to High School?
North Tonawanda Senior High. NT is a suburb of Buffalo, NY but is in Niagara County instead of Erie where the rest of the Buffalo environs lie. Our high school mascot was a lumberjack. Yeah, a lumberjack. Opposing teams liked to sing the "I'm a lumberjack and I'm okay" Monty Python song at us. I'm not bitter.

What's your favorite snack food?
Ooh, this is a hard one. I love many snack foods. If I had to pick just one it would have to be cheese. Getting more specific it would be a toss-up between Emmentaller and Old Amsterdam.

From Tiffani:

Boxers or tighty whiteys?
Neither. I use boxer/briefs. All the freedom of boxers with the support of briefs. It's the best of both worlds.

How old where you when you first did "it"?
Twelve, and it was the happiest accidental discovery of my life. I was laying on my belly on the couch watching TV when I got a funny feeling. The couch was upholstered with a soft velour. The crack between the cushions succumbed to my clumsy advances and ... well let's just fade to black there. Sure hope Mom never reads this.

Michael Moore or Michael Jackson?
What's this, a Hobson's Choice? This is like picking between Stalin and Hitler. Well, I guess Moore is worse. Jackson is a freaky recluse and harmless to humanity (with the exception of prepubescent boys) - Moore is actively pushing an agenda that's dangerous to the world.

From DeAnna

What is the square root of 789?
Approximately 28.0891438103762784. With the exchange rate how it is that would be about 40 bucks Canadian.

When did you become a man?
Physically, at twelve (see Tiffani's question above). Responsibility-wise I got there in my mid-twenties. Mentally I'm still working on it.

If you were stranded on a deserted island with all the munuvians who would you eat first and why?
Lovely Wife of course. She loves it when I do that. Besides, being stranded doesn't absolve the wedding vows and I take those things seriously.

From LeeAnn

You have to move to a foreign land forever... which one?
Narnia. I've been in love with Narnia since I first read the chronicles at age 6. If you insist on a real world destination I'll pick Australia. There's every type of terrain and climate you could ask for plus an amazing history and local culture.

Through some sort of alternate reality, you are stuck in a world based entirely on one literary genre... mystery, comedy, horror, etc... which one?
Science Fiction. I'd pick fantasy except it's so dirty there and I have difficulty with other people's fragrances.

You can eat only ONE food for the rest of your life... which one?
Congrats. You've discovered my own version of hell. If I had to take only one food for the rest of my life it would be pizza with everything. That way I can at least take off selected toppings to get many different flavors.

From Kathleen

What do you wish you had done differently?
I'm a very firm believer in the nail/kingdom story (aka Butterfly Effect). For want of a nail the shoe was lost, etceteras. If I had changed something in my past I wouldn't be where I am now. There is too much in my life now that I would absolutely not sacrifice for me to change anything in my past.

That said, I would have gotten laid more often.

If money were not a consideration and you could do whatever you wanted, what would you do for work?
I would teach. If I won the Lotto and had more money than I could spend I'd go on a mad buying spree and spoil everybody I know. When the thrill of endless cash wore off I would settle down and teach.

What's your favorite beer?
Stovepipe Porter from the Otter Creek Brewing Company. Unfortunately they don't distribute to Georgia. If anybody in the NorthWest or Atlantic states (with the insufferable exception of Georgia) happened to send me some I would gladly trade any of my three children or the appendage of your choice.

Posted by: Jim at 10:06 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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