Dr. Howard, Dr. Fine, Dr. HowardÂ…
Why is it so hard to get a doctorÂ’s appointment? When youÂ’re sick, youÂ’re sick. You need to see a doctor right away, not in two fucking weeks. Christ, by then whatever youÂ’ve got is either gone or has killed you. Most of them now have about six offices they run between when theyÂ’re not out cashing checks and playing golf.
Dramatization
“Good morning, Dr. Robert’s office.”
“I need to make an appointment with Dr. Roberts.”
“Have you been here before?”
“Yes.”
“When would you like to come in?”
“As soon as possible.”
“How about the 12th?”
“Of February?”
“Yes, we have a morning and an afternoon.”
“I was hoping to see him today…can’t you squeeze me in?”
“No, sir. February is the earliest appointment we have.”
“You don’t understand. I’m in horrible pain! I have shooting pains in my side and I can’t eat anything because of the vomiting.”
“I can call you if we have a cancellation before then…”
“But my pee is black!”
“I’m sorry to hear that, but—“
“Lady, I’ve got the goddamned plague! Don’t you understand…I feel like I’ve been fucking SHOT in the side. My pee is black! I’ve been coughing up shit that looks like tripe!”
“Would you like to take the appointment on the 12th or not, sir?”
Posted by: Pixy Misa at
09:12 AM
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Post contains 228 words, total size 2 kb.
1
I assume you said, "sure, but in the meantime, I'm gonna come down and sit in your waiting room, coughing up a lung and peeing black pee, just in case there's a cancellation. Hopefully, I won't infect anyone, but, hey, if I do, they can have my appointment on the 12th".
Posted by: RP at January 20, 2006 11:03 AM (LlPKh)
2
Yeah that's common in Canada too, but they usually say "If you're in that much pain go to emergency"... where you sit and groan and moan beside 20 others doing the same for a couple or 6 hours.
Posted by: Oorgo at January 20, 2006 11:50 AM (lM0qs)
3
I never have this problem, because I'd rather die in the comfort of my own home than go to the goddamn doctor's office. Think about it - they probe our butts with cameras and cauderizers, poke us in the eye, fill us full of chemicals, shoot radiation at us, stick stuff up our pee holes, put their fingers in their asses and then have the audacity to demand we cough. And in exchange, we
pay them for their 'services'. Fuck that. If I want a little excitement in my life, I'll give myself a shocker and spend a fraction of the money I would've spent on a doctor on a nice bottle of The Glenlivet.
Posted by: shank at January 20, 2006 12:17 PM (+H1yK)
4
whoops. I just made a mistake in the post above. It's a funny mistake though. Catch it and you get a prize!
Posted by: shank at January 20, 2006 01:01 PM (+H1yK)
5
Doctor's put fingers in their own asses, Shank?
BTW, I emailed in the Stealth Point. Four posts and no one else saw it! In your FACES, losers!
Posted by: Victor at January 20, 2006 01:22 PM (L3qPK)
6
Of course doctors put fingers in their own asses. How do you think they get so good at it?
Posted by: Jim at January 20, 2006 02:30 PM (tyQ8y)
7
Dr Fitch is that you?
That sure sounds like my dr.
Oh and Jim....I'm still waiting for my prize. You don't want me to talk trash now do you? You said the middle of this week. Cough cough. Oooh better not do that. People will think I caught what Paul has.
Here's an incentive Hurry Up before I have to fly there and kick your ass!
Posted by: Tiffani at January 20, 2006 04:30 PM (KE4Gu)
Posted by: Deb at January 22, 2006 09:18 AM (jkWU6)
9
Tiffani, do you mean that all this time all I had to do to get you down here was procrastinate on sending prizey goodness? Damn. Think of all the wasted opportunity!
Posted by: Jim at January 23, 2006 09:16 AM (oqu5j)
10
Umm James, Your skirting the issue here!
Posted by: Tiffani at January 23, 2006 02:41 PM (KE4Gu)
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