Next time you make a big purchase - big screen TV, car, house, trailer full of radishes, etc - when you get to the end of the haggle phase put a confused look on your face and say "You know, numbers that big are just hard to get your head around. What would that be in cases of beer?"

Now that I think about it, this might work even better for very small purchases like a pack of gum.

Posted by: Jim at 06:11 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
Post contains 85 words, total size 1 kb.

The results of the Drag Queen Cat Fight are in. Sorry it took so long. We had to wait for the Ohio returns to be validated. The winners, in traditional reverse loser order, are:

Second runner up (1 point)
There isn't one! It's a tie for first runner up!

First runner up (3 points)
Princess Red (aka Kenny) and Maxi Hemlock (aka Helen) with 4 votes each.

The most draggish of the drag queens (5 points)
ShyAnne Havenwood (aka Holly) with a runaway 12 votes!

Congratulations, Ladies!

Posted by: Jim at 01:08 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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Q: Why do the trees in Georgia lean to the West?

A: Because Alabama sucks.

* The trees all do lean to the West though.

Posted by: Jim at 10:55 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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Way back on this post we came up with our drag queen names. Tiffani suggested making it a points contest. Sounded good to me but I figured I'd throw in a twist. I picked out my 10 favorites and I'm going to let y'all decide which is the best, via this ultra secure, cheat-proof polling system*.

Vote carefully as the top finishers will be receiving coveted Snooze Points! This poll will stay open until some time next week.

Posted by: Jim at 10:52 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?

Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end you first try?

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

(Hat tip to Joe)

Posted by: Jim at 06:44 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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