July 19, 2004

Xzibit ain't no fool

Looks like some people think ol' Xzibit is a bit on the stupid side. I've received a slew of fake messages over the past couple days. You know what that means, right? Yup. Gloves are off.

The first idjit:

From: matthew ludescher

I HAVE SEEN THIS WONDERFUL PROGRAM AND WOULD LIKE
TO SEE IF I QUALIFY. I'M 44 AND I AM DYSLEXIC AND
THIS MAKES IT HARD FOR ME TO FIND A GOOD JOB.
AS I CANNOT READ OR WRITE.
I'M A GOOD COMPUTER TECHNICIAN AND MY FRIEND
DARRELL SMITH IS HELPING ME WRITE THIS LETTER.
I HAVE A 1982 CHEVROLET VAN THAT NEEDS SOME PIMP
LOVE.
IF YOU CAN HELP ME, I WOULD BE BLESSED.
THANK YOU FOR YOUR CARING SHOW.
YOU ARE TRULY GOOD PEOPLE IN THIS CRAZY WORLD.
LOVE
MATT

Ah, yes. The dyslexic computer technician story. Haven't we all heard this before? Actually, after dealing with some customer service lines I can readily believe that the people manning them are illiterate. But this guy is a fake so he gets this: more...

Posted by: Jim at 02:03 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
Post contains 1168 words, total size 6 kb.

July 12, 2004

It's actually spelled "Xzibit"!

Wow! All this time and all this correspondence and I was spelling my own impersonated name incorrectly. Special thanks to Kimberly/sapphire for showing me the correct spelling. Speaking of Kimberly/sapphire, she's one of the two latest rocket scientists to mistake SBD for MTV:

From: Kimberly

Hello Its yah girl sapphire to xzibit and pimp my ride fellas. I have a very different case I live in Minnesota and I have major problem just read! I have very sweet brother his name is josiah, all he does is try to help me my family and his self. He has a two year old son in africa he never sees he could barely could send him money because he's always buried in bills and car troubles. Josiah has a 79 Benz but it's more like it's falling off the henges for instance, we got stranded on the hyway because she smoked until she choked. He's a twenty eight year old struggling college student, working a temp job tryna make ends into dollas, I just think he deserves a break with a special wish from me to the guys at mtvs pimp my ride.He would be so thankful and I thank you all from the bottom of my heart P.S. If mtv can't come out here I'm still MTV and Xzibit greatest fan holla!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Phew! No pressure for this one. She'll still be my greatest fan even if I don't pimp her bro's ride. That's good since there's precisely zero chance that I'll do so. more...

Posted by: Jim at 08:42 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 856 words, total size 5 kb.

What's all this Pimp stuff about?

A couple of people have asked just what the hell this Pimp My Ride stuff is about so I shall endeavor to elucidate.

MTV has a show called Pimp My Ride where they take peoples' nasty old beater cars and Pimp them. That's where they fix all the garbage that's wrong with them, tune the engine to sound like an egg beater, drop them so low they can't take a residential speed bump and put enough chrome on them to blind Stevie Wonder (oops!).

Way back in December of 2003 I had a one sentence post that linked to a flash game that let you take a virtual car through a virtual pimpin experience. That post started being found by searches for "Pimp My Ride" (or rather "pimp my ride" as none of these retards uses their shift key). They left comments asking for me to pimp their cars. I tried replying that this site has absolutely nothing to do with the MTV show. That post and the comments allow absolutely no opportunity for any rational or even semi-intelligent person to confuse this site for the MTV site.

But they kept coming. After a half dozen or so of these simps had commented I decided to screw with them. So now when somebody comments there I send them emails to mess with them, pretending to be the host of the show. My general purpose is to amuse myself, my secondary goal is to get them to send me pictures of themselves holding signs about my website.

That original post has never been changed. The people commenting really are morons who need to be taken advantage of. You can see the whole shebang (in reverse chronological order) here.

Posted by: Jim at 08:40 AM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
Post contains 299 words, total size 2 kb.

July 02, 2004

Everybody want the pimp ride!

We got a bunch of new contacts that just got their premier emails today. They're pretty standard so have all recieved the basic first contact mail (with fine print disclaimer of course).

From: Magsz

Hmmm... Where do i start? With the truth> My ride is a big time Hooptie!!ha
I really enjoy watching the show and my friends and family are always making fun of my ride. The running joke is i should get my ride on your show or leave it on the street. ha ha ha I have a white 92 Nissan Pathfinder. Its pretty banged up in regards to the body and the insides could use some work BUT i love that i dont have a car note. This is too funny but here it goes... My door on the drivers side is falling off. The head light is broken and hanging off but i tape on it. My leather seats have holes and the middle thing you put stuff in is broken. It gets worst-etc etc... and yes its a little embarrassing> okay alot embarrassing.. My friends all have nice cars and they think i should get a new car because im expecting a child. I thought it would be fun to get my special hooptie pimped because she's been good to me... Peace and Love
Magalye

Mags sounds like she's got a sense of humor. I like that. Plus, she's expecting so she'll have that special glow. Send us a picture, Magalye! more...

Posted by: Jim at 03:40 PM | Comments (37) | Add Comment
Post contains 512 words, total size 3 kb.

Charlie's looking to be a Pimp

This hit is a bit different from the rest. Instead of asking me to pimp his ride, Charlie's looking for me to hire him as a ride pimper.

From: Charlie

Hey Guys,

IÂ’m an ordinary car stereo installer from the east coast, (NJ) who moved out to CA for the ultimate dream, to be a custom car stereo installer. I just got done watching youÂ’re show MTV Pimp My Ride and decided to drop you guys a line. What do I have do loose right? Well everyone knows that the west coast is where itÂ’s at when it comes to custom. IÂ’ve been worken at national retail chains doing the regular deck slams (Boring) when I was back on the east coast Circuit City I went from being an installer to a manager in three years and all that was just a mess of paperwork and got away from what I was striven for being a custom installer. I know you guys are plenty busy and may even not read this e-mail but I would love to apprentice with your company I do a little custom work here and there but my area of expertise is in wiring electronics and security. I currently live about 3 hrs. north of la but am willing to relocate. Even if you do not have any openings but could drop be a line or two about the LA area and where if any is custom apprentice work may be needed in CA . Well thanks a lot for taken the time out of youÂ’re busy day to read this e-mail.
I look forward to hearing from you soon Charlie

Now seeing as I'm due to be unemployed in a bit under a month I'm not willing to bank up on bad employment mojo at the moment. So instead of leading this fellow on I'll just go straight for the photo request. more...

Posted by: Jim at 02:00 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 566 words, total size 3 kb.

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