Apparently I'm a shoe in for Bush, which is pretty much what I figured already. Some of the other results were surprising though.

Bush: 100%
Leiberman: 93%
Edwards: 86%

Not unexpectedly, Kucinich was number last.

Find your perfect match.

Posted by: Jim at 06:36 AM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
Post contains 49 words, total size 1 kb.

I guess I've been around a bit. This map shows the states that I've actually lived in. It's supposed to be a "visited" map but that just turns most of it red for me. If you're curious about what states I've visited just figure every state that touches one of these and that'll be pretty close.

create your own visited states map
or write about it on the open travel guide

(Hat tip to Susie)

POINTS: 2 points for the first person to name the inspiration for this post title. No searching please, you naughty little monkeys.

UPDATE: Lovely Wife's visited states and visited countries are in the extended entry. Wow, she really gets around, doesn't she? more...

Posted by: Jim at 08:27 AM | Comments (15) | Add Comment
Post contains 137 words, total size 1 kb.

1 Babe, you need to get out more. I mean-you haven't even been to Texas! I thought EVERYONE had been to Texas!

Posted by: Helen at January 29, 2004 08:59 AM (TZJXp)

2 No, that's "Everyone had a Texan". ;-) Texas is too big. I like smaller states where I can touch the walls for that comfy secure feeling.

Posted by: Jim at January 29, 2004 09:25 AM (IOwam)

3 I got the answer, but I was a dirty monkey. (and I'm honest about it!) I seriously doubt that anyone's gonna get that... "It's Peter, Go Peter, I'm so Peter, Yo Peter, Let's see Regis rap this way"

Posted by: Clancy at January 29, 2004 09:29 AM (EGVPL)

4 All "Family Guy" references aside, didn't MC Hammer bust that rhyme in "U Can't Touch This"?

Posted by: Mike the Marine at January 29, 2004 11:03 AM (Zw7Hl)

5 Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! That's the one, Mike. I've been around the world, from London to the Bay See, Clancy? I had faith that there were other old farts out there that rocked out to Hammer back in the day. Not that we're proud of that fact now, of course.

Posted by: Jim at January 29, 2004 11:10 AM (IOwam)

6 Now why are there points for this "inspiration" but not points for the Peter Finch one? Huh? Huh? That's the whole point, isn't it? You change the words a little but still have a recognizable source?

Posted by: Susie at January 29, 2004 12:47 PM (0+cMc)

7 Susie, Susie, Susie...dear, sweet Susie... It was my fault. Totally and completely. I just totally dropped the ball on that one. I don't know why, but it just didn't click as a point source when I was writing that post. It happens sometimes, what with the state of the free world in my hands and all I just get so busy sometimes. I can't contaminate the Snooze Points by awarding them without having offered. Therein lies chaos! But I can try to put that smile back on your face. I'll give you all of the Cheesy points that I've accumulated from LeeAnn. There are three over here and a couple others somewhere else that I can't find 'cause the search isn't working. All for you. (I wonder if I just established relative value between Snooze Points and Cheesy Points. Hmmm... 2 to 5 isn't so bad.)

Posted by: Jim at January 29, 2004 01:10 PM (IOwam)

8 Hmmm..does LeeAnn know about this? cuz the last thing we want to do is tick off The Cheese...that would be a Bad Thing™

Posted by: Susie at January 29, 2004 01:24 PM (0+cMc)

9 I'll check on that, Susie. If not, I'll have to try to smuggle them to you through the cheese underground.

Posted by: Jim at January 29, 2004 02:18 PM (IOwam)

10 It's official. I just got confirmation from LeeAnn. The Cheesy Points are yours, Susie. And there was much rejoicing. (And no, you don't get points for sourcing that one.)

Posted by: Jim at January 29, 2004 03:16 PM (IOwam)

11 I learned two things from mapping out states and countries I've visited. One, I've been to almost all the US (76%) and not very much of the rest of the world (a measly six countries from the list but two of my countries weren't listed under anything I knew them as).

Posted by: Johnny Huh at January 29, 2004 06:11 PM (AyewP)

12 I learned two things from mapping out states and countries I've visited. One, I've been to almost all the US (76%) and Two, I've not seen very much of the rest of the world (a measly six countries from the list but two of my countries weren't listed under anything I knew them as).

Posted by: Johnny Huh at January 29, 2004 06:11 PM (AyewP)

13 He's right, Susie, he cleared Cheesy Transference with me first. I should be freer with the Cheesy points. This is probably why I wasn't that popular in high school.

Posted by: LeeAnn at January 29, 2004 07:37 PM (HxCeX)

14 Not popular, LeeAnn? The mens' room wall disagrees. [duck] [SMACK!]

Posted by: Jim at January 29, 2004 07:40 PM (IOwam)

15 Well, as long as LeeAnn approves: Thanks, Jim!

Posted by: Susie at January 29, 2004 08:44 PM (0+cMc)

Hide Comments | Add Comment

If you've been reading me a while you've probably figured out that one of the things that most irritates me in this world is intentional stupidity. Come to think of it, that might be the only thing that really irritates me. Anyway, the height of this stupidity in recent years has been the preponderence of zero tolerance policies. These are the rules made up by school systems out of fear or knee-jerk reaction that forcibly compel school administrators from using common sense or whatever intelligence they might normally posess.

Gone are the days of leniency for honest mistakes, compassion for lack of understanding and any concept of letting the punishment fit the crime. Taking an Advil at school is now the same as pushing crack. Leaving the tools from your lawn care side job in your locked trunk will get you arrested. Having the wrong pencil sharpener or wallet earns expulsion. This lunacy has got to stop.

To that end I have started a new website called Zero Intelligence that will collect stories of the harmful effects of these policies as well as showcase the abuses caused by them. We will explore the reasons that they are adopted and point out the errors that lead to these very poor solutions. Although there is a great amount of indignation about zero tolerance policies there doesn't seem to be any organized discussion or action against them. I hope that Zero Intelligence will provide this greatly needed forum.

I would like to send humongous mountains of thanks to Matt Drachenberg (of Overtaken by Events). Matt volunteered to help with the site before it was even set up and there is absolutely no way it would be ready for use now without him. He did all of the plug-in stuff and the widgets and doodads and made it all actually work. Matt is serving as the site admin to handle all of the boring and frustrating technical problems that will pop up while I get to relax and handle the human element. He'll also be contributing content of course.

Speaking of content, it's light at the moment as we're just starting out. You can help in this regard by sending tips, commenting on the posts, or even becoming a contributing poster.

Posted by: Jim at 10:52 AM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
Post contains 401 words, total size 2 kb.

1. Puppy teeth are the second sharpest thing in the world, next only to samurai swords.


2. Puppies like to take a nip at anything and everything that grabs their attention, especially mobile things that will fit nicely in their mouths.


3. Puppy noses can open any door that is not firmly latched.


4. Human flesh is at its most sensitive directly after a hot shower.

It was toes people. Toes. Get your minds out of the gutter.

Posted by: Jim at 10:25 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 86 words, total size 1 kb.

The taxman is now my bitch. I've got my W-2 in hand and it's high time that the gubmint gave me my damn money back. Boo-ya!

Posted by: Jim at 12:16 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 42 words, total size 1 kb.

Say that you've forgotten to turn off your email at work so it continues to pull your emails when you go home. It is set to poll for email every 20 minutes, starting at 5 after the hour. Your computer at home looks for email every 10 minutes for the same address, starting at the top of the hour. If there are 12 emails sent to you during the time both computers are pulling email, how many of these would you expect to find on the computer at work the next day?

Points: 2 points to the first person with the correct answer. No wild guesses, please - you have to explain your reasoning.

Posted by: Jim at 09:05 AM | Comments (19) | Add Comment
Post contains 128 words, total size 1 kb.

The laws of physics still limit the number of vehicles occupying the same space to one single unit so perhaps the next time you swing over a solid white line into the non turning lane without the benefit of a turning signal because heaven forbid you would want to warn other drivers of your impending lunacy and you couldn't be bothered to switch lanes a quarter of a mile back before your lane became the home of left turning commuters you might wish to take a quick peek to be sure there are no other vehicles occupying the location you desire so you can avoid the tires screaching quick brake then foot to the floor acceleration move to cut in front of said space occupying vehicle while flipping the bird manuever that you decided to use today.

Have a nice day,
Jim

PS - I fucked your sister. She's nowhere near as good as your mom, no matter how much your dad disagrees.

Posted by: Jim at 08:53 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 191 words, total size 1 kb.

I've mentioned before how the message board as you enter the building sprouts the occassional inane quote. It's getting uncomfortably frequent. Here's what we have now:

The most important thing that you can wear is your expression.

This is just starting to ring too close to those insufferably smug motivation posters. The most important thing you can wear is your expression? Give me a break. I've never been asked to leave a bar because of my expression. My expression has never been the defining factor in losing a job. I've never been arrested because of my expression. I'll tell you what the most important thing you can wear is: pants. Trust me on this, m'kay?

Posted by: Jim at 12:28 PM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
Post contains 123 words, total size 1 kb.

The Burger (aka "Hamster", see the picture and you'll know why) is 2 years old today. Happy Birthday, short man!

The birthday boy

Posted by: Jim at 11:30 AM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
Post contains 29 words, total size 1 kb.

Baby being Lovely Wife, of course. And puppy being...well...a puppy.

Lovely Wife loves dogs. And cats. And birds. And fish. And hamsters. And turtles. And just about any other pet type creature excepting ferrets. So what better gift could I give her than a puppy? Well, yes, a diamond ring would probably be a better gift but I can't get her the one I want at the moment so that's out. Okay, a new car would indeed be better but you're not thinking of the right class of gift here. Should I rephrase the question? Okay - What better gift could I give her than a puppy, said gift causing little to no strain upon my barren wallet? Nuthin', that's what. Glad you agree. more...

Posted by: Jim at 08:08 AM | Comments (8) | Add Comment
Post contains 655 words, total size 4 kb.

The household has grown by one. Info will come when I can put it out. Gotta go, the new baby is crying.

Posted by: Jim at 07:06 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
Post contains 26 words, total size 1 kb.

Yesterday my Lovely Wife, she of normally impeccable style and grace, perpetrated a horror upon my household. An unmitigated affront to all that is good and holy was brought into my castle, shattering the previous sanctity of the household. While at the dollar store

[break for diatribe on the dollar store]

Isn't the dollar store the bomb? Damn! What a feeling to be able to go into an establishment with the certain knowledge that you can have anything, anything, that your eyes alight upon. Even the certain knowledge that the base concept of the dollar store is either to get people to pay money for landfill items or that it's a complicated plot by the Vast Rightwing Conspiracy to lull the working class into a dull statis of conformity and acceptance of our lot can affect the pure joy rush feeling of financial power that us po' folks get when we walk into such an establishment.

[/break]

she happened upon bags of M&M candies. These are the ultimate favorite universal candy of our household. Any trip to a store that has checkout aisles will elicit joyous and demanding cries of "MMMMSSSS! MMMMSSSS!" in three part harmony. Lovely Wife quite quickly took advantage of the presence of large M&M bags for a dollar and stuffed several in the shopping cart. Without. Looking. At. The. Bags. more...

Posted by: Jim at 10:43 AM | Comments (16) | Add Comment
Post contains 615 words, total size 4 kb.

Our mutt is in need of a doggy dentist. He's got some bad tartar build up as well as gingivitis. As a result, his gums are sensitive. He's come up with a solution to the hard dog chow problem until we take His Dogginess to the cleaners. He picks up the dry food and drops it in his water dish. He leaves it and comes back to it a while later when it is soft and mushy so it's easy to eat.

Is he overly clever or am I anthropomorphizing?

Posted by: Jim at 01:41 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
Post contains 100 words, total size 1 kb.

We lost another couple of people here. We have three software products, each with their own teams. The one that was affected was the very old static product that was purchased whole from Big Blue years back. They were re-organized to fall under Customer Service instead of Development and one full timer and one part timer (both tech support) got pink slips.

It really was a reorganization though, not a cost cutting manuever. I talked with the full time fellow and he said he's been expecting it for a while. It's an aged product that has not been able to replace customer attrition with new sales and there simply wasn't enough work to justify the number of support personnel. He's not overly concerned about the job loss either. This will give him the chance to join a professional bass tour. I work with unique individuals here.

We also had a company meeting where the Pres explained the changes, why they were made, and told us that this was the extent of organizational changes that are planned. He meant, of course, to tell us that no more positions are being cut but I wish he'd just come out and said that point blank. The way he couched it sounds like there are no more changes planned at all and I know of at least one position that is being added. I hope that doesn't come back to bite him with a loss of credibility.

Am I in danger? No. There's no realistic way that my position could be org'd out and I am a virtual wizard at my job so there are no performance reasons that I'd be sent off. What bothers me the most about the recent terminations is that I didn't know about them before they happened. You see, in my last job I knew about such things well in advance of them happening. I knew about them in the discussion phase and was a part of the decision process for some of them. In this job I'm totally out of the loop and that's a big change that didn't really come to my attention until now.

And I don't like it. I love surprises when they are of the gift wrapped variety but I do not like them at the company that I get my rent payments from. I guess I'm going to have to see about growing into a management position.

Posted by: Jim at 01:32 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 414 words, total size 2 kb.

"Thee" being Howard Dean, of course. Don't worry, this blog is not in danger of becoming a political soap box. I just had a conversation with a Dean supporter that made me actually think of why I don't like him, both as a person and as a candidate for the presidency. Don't worry, it's a short list.

1. I'm still pissed that he called me a gun lovin', fag hatin', racist, religious fanatic.


2. I don't like the fact that he wants to triple my personal federal tax burden.


3. He's a class-A hypocrite. I'm talking Hillary level.


4. He's a socialist.

I could forgive any of these (especially the last one, since it's totally made up) except #2. Stay away from my money, you stinkin' blighter.

Posted by: Jim at 09:48 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
Post contains 143 words, total size 1 kb.

There's a message board as you come into the office. They'll put up things like "Welcome Company X" when we have visitors coming in or "Product Y Classes Are Being Held In The Training Room" and stuff like that. When there's nobody due to visit and no other message to be displayed they put up quotations. Some are good, some aren't. I have a problem with the one that is up right now:

The biggest room in the world is the room for improvement.

Isn't this comparable to saying "Our product blows monkey chunks. We have a shit load to do before we can pass this crap off as worthwhile"?

Posted by: Jim at 07:49 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
Post contains 114 words, total size 1 kb.

We lost a vice president and the alarm and door lock codes have been changed. The alarm code changes when somebody who has it leaves the company. The door code changes when somebody is "evicted from service". This brings us to one of the company maxims here:

The door code is only changed when somebody is fired. If you get here in the morning and the door code doesn't work, it was you.

Anybody have an amusing company maxim to share?

Posted by: Jim at 10:49 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
Post contains 91 words, total size 1 kb.

...and rather difficult when firing on full auto.

A few weeks before the holidays I had the pleasure of going to one of the local gun ranges with Dopple-G and The Godfather. That's The Godfather of child #1, as opposed to the Godfather of child #2, who would be Dopple-G himself.

It was a blast. I haven't done a lot of weapon firing in my life. In fact I believe there were a total of 3 occurences before this trip to the range. The first was as a youngster, maybe 9 or 10, while down at Uncle Namesake's farm. One day everybody loaded up into the Suburban and went to the firing range. I had a fun time with the .22 rifle and then a very painful time with the .30-06 rifle (which I fired exactly once and nursed a sore shoulder for the next couple of days). more...

Posted by: Jim at 08:21 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 633 words, total size 4 kb.

Well, I'm "protected" now. Lovely Wife went out last night and bought me a 12 pack of the little plasticine things. It's not that I didn't want to use them earlier, honest. It was more a question of price than anything else. I mean, you don't "need" them so it's really just wasted money, right? And why are they so bloody expensive anyway?

I put the first one on as soon as she got home last night. That was a bit wierd, let me tell you. Fortunately the fit wasn't off by as much as I'd feared. Almost a perfect fit, actually. They make these things in a bunch of sizes but Lovely Wife has a good eye and matched them up very well. more...

Posted by: Jim at 07:07 AM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
Post contains 540 words, total size 3 kb.

Hope you had a wonderful celebration and that your noggins are in one piece this morning.

Posted by: Jim at 09:59 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 24 words, total size 1 kb.