September 27, 2004

A little pussy for your entertainment

The picture is in the extended entry, to spare the innocence of Harvey my tender readers. more...

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We were served

We had dinner at Trey's place last night. All of us. That is, Lovely Wife and I plus three (count them: 1 - 2 - 3) children ages five and under.

Trey has a very nice house. It's new. He is a very, very brave man.

Dinner was fantastic. Sangria and veggie dip started us out. Ever have sangria? I was a sangria virgin and I quite enjoyed it. Lemon juice, sugar and red wine (in the correct proportions) make a light and refreshing drink. This one might become part of our regular repertoire.

The meal was centered around chicken Creole and it was to die for. I had chicken Creole dreams last night. No joke. Damn, that was good. more...

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September 19, 2004

The sound and the fury

The storm was pretty impressive and the aftermath was unexpected. In our neighborhood alone there are eight or so trees down. That's in a neighborhood of around 30 houses. On our side of the street there is a string of houses that lost trees in a domino effect, one tree falling and hitting another and then again and again.

Two houses to the right had their house hit by a tree, damaging the roof. Fortunately it was a branch hit and not a trunk hit so the damage isn't too severe and nobody got hurt.

Three houses down the other way they were saved from a direct hit by the slightest of margins. A very large oak fell into a pine and the pine held it. It's bent over at a fifteen degree angle holding the oak up. When it lets loose, both will be hitting their house. They are looking into options now.

We got through with no house damage. There are lots of branches down all over the lawn but all of our trees held up this time.

We did lose a freezer full of food though and that bites. We even went out and bought more coolers so we would be able to put all of our chilled goods on ice. Unfortunately it just took too long for Georgia Power to get us back online and it had all defrosted.

Being without power was frustrating but also enjoyable. Flashlights doubled as strobe lights for an impromptu kids' dance party, neighbors congregated and shared storm stories, there was far more consumption of alcohol than normal and we all figured out how to wipe our asses by candlelight.

Good times.

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September 17, 2004

Down but not out

We got pounded pretty well by Ivan's bastard offspring. Trees are down all over the neighborhood. We lost some sizeable branches but all of ours stayed up. Yay!

We have no power until tomorrow at the earliest. UPS power is failing and I need to save some for Lovely Wife so I'm outtie. Talk to y'all tomorrow.

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September 14, 2004

The fat cat sat on a flat rat.

We started teaching Bear to read last Monday. Today he read the sentence above.

He should be blogging by next Wednesday.

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September 12, 2004

Susie's a sicko

She's wondering if she's sick enough. My Papa used to say "If you're sick enough to notice, you're sick enough to stay home". Or was it "If you're sick enough to notice, you're sick enough to drink a half gallon of my home-pressed vegetable juice cocktail".

I have a disturbing feeling it was that second one.

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September 11, 2004

Damn, I love this woman

She speaks from the heart.

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September 10, 2004

Did you miss me?

Then you're probably either leading too much or you are jerking the trigger. Squeeze it slowly.

Yes, I do realize just how naughty "jerking the trigger" and "squeeze it slowly" sound. I'm like that.

Anyway, we went to the Yellow Daisy Festival at Stone Mountain yesterday. Biggest arts & crafts show in Georgia. 450+ vendors, yadda, yadda, yadda. Me and 5 cops may have been the only males there out of the 10,000 people in attendance. I swear it was worse than a Sarah McLachlan concert. I was on my best behavior but occasionally I would tremble and collapse into a fetal position, just to be on the safe side.

Good times. Good times.

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September 09, 2004

Carrying the analogy one step further...

Nicky is very inexperienced and somewhat at a loss about how to go about things, especially without the generally required equipment. He ends up 'mounting' whatever end of Kota that he happens to be located nearest.

It gives new meaning to the term "Fucked in the head".

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September 08, 2004

Is it a parable or a metaphor?

As you know, Kota (aka Scarface) is in her first heat. She's a bit 'off' in the head but seems to be handling things okay. Nicky on the other hand, is not. Nicky is nutless in a literal sense but he is still responding to the pheromones/hormones/whatever that Kota is putting out.

He keeps trying to hump her.

It's such a sad and pathetic scene. He has as much experience with female dogs in heat as Kota has being one. That is, none. He can't do anything productive since he has no balls. She's so much bigger than he is (labrador vs. terrier) that it's almost comical to watch. Perhaps the funniest thing is that Kota doesn't even pay attention to him. He'll try to grab on and go to town and she'll just lie there playing with a toy or whatever she was doing until she gets up and walks away leaving him with a sad and bewildered look on his face.

I was laughing (quietly, so as not to further humiliate the dog) at this yesterday when I had a disturbing thought. Nicky is incapable of doing what he wants to do. He is following deep rooted commands that are a part of his very being, he has no option not to keep trying to do what he can never do correctly. He is acting and reacting based solely on how he has been conditioned and bred to act and react. No matter how stupid he looks or how much people laugh at him or what an ass he makes of himself he will not stop until the conditions that are prompting him are removed.

Nicky is John Kerry, Kota is the USA and her heat is the election cycle. Is that spooky or what?

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September 07, 2004

Grammar 101

Bear: Daddy, can I punch you?

Me: No. That should be "May I punch you".

Bear: Daddy, may I punch you?

Me: Sure, buddy.

I'm all about the grammar.

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He said, he said

The Scene: A cook-out at the Peacock house (slow cooked beef ribs, chicken breasts and bun length hot dogs). Sounds of bad karaoke float over the hills from a neighbor's house.

Dopple-G: What is that noise? Is somebody else having a party?

Lovely Wife: It's some karaoke or wedding singer or something. He was doing Dido last night.

Jim: There's nothing quite so sad as an off-key tenor singing Dido.

Dopple-G: The problem with wedding singers is they all sing the exact same songs. They need to expand their repertoire, put in some songs that rock. You know what they really need? They need to sing some...

Trey and Jim: (Interjecting simultaneously) Metallica.

Dopple-G: ...Metallica.

The spooky part here is that to the best of my recollection Trey and I hadn't ever gotten* into a discussion about music in general or Metallica in particular. Are we just both warped in the same fashion or did we both just read Dopple-G that well?

Either way I think we've successfully addressed two things here. First, we're obviously a natural team so the Flying Pig party isn't going to be subject to the divisive inter-party sniping that plagues the big parties. Second, Bread Fan will make an excellent replacement for Hail to the Chief.

* I really hate "gotten". Yes I know it's a real word and yes it is used correctly here but I really, really don't like that word. I use it now in self flaggelation just in case I've got some karmic debt that I don't know about.

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September 01, 2004

What a day, continued

Besides getting the heave-ho from work there was a bit of other drama here yesterday. Nicki got out wandering (he's our older dog). Kota was out too (9-month old lab, in case you don't remember). Kota is always out when the kids are out because she sticks by them and protects them from evil neighbors, ice cream men and other suburban menaces. Nicki isn't supposed to be out because he is a dumbass and because Kota will follow him around.

Nicki ran across the street in front of a pick-up truck. Kota was following him. Nicki may or may not have been hit - no injuries in any case. Kota was lucky that the driver stopped the truck so fast but she still got tagged. She's got a 2 inch patch of fur and skin scraped off of her face on the orbit of her left eye and the same on her chin. I treated the wounds and Lovely Wife put a bandage on the big wound.

She's okay and none of the injuries are health threatening. She sure is timid now though - I hope she gets her spunky nature back soon. Also, she looks like a complete dumbass and that can't be good for her self esteem:


(Click for biggie size)

That's Don Juan de Burger relaxing on top of her. Notice the underwear too? That's one of Bacon's night time pants. She started her first heat just now too.

Lovely Wife went out and got her some very sexy dog lingerie to hold her maxies so she's not in pull-ups any more. No pictures of that due to threats from PETA.

Posted by: Jim at 11:14 PM | Comments (11) | Add Comment
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