drew at logic2@hotmail.com (though that's probably a fake address) is the latest person to sign my guest map. He's a Brit but is for some ungodly reason living in France. After reading the comment that he left I wonder if that is such a coincidence. Here's what drew (that's the french spelling, using no capitals - less chance of giving offense using only lower case letters you know) said:

Jim is so clever that he has invented a new word to replace "causation" - "causality"! LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL ps get a clue moron.

If I'm reading this correctly drew is upset because I used the word "causality". He apparently doesn't know that it is a real word so he is trying to make fun of me for using it. He even gives me credit for creating the word itself! LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

ps get a dictionary fucknob.

Posted by: Jim at 08:03 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
Post contains 147 words, total size 1 kb.

Get your submissions in for the next Bestofme Symphony. Send them to bestofme@jpeacock.net and they'll be in Monday's edition at Blown Fuse.

Please note that the autoresponse you are used to receiving isnÂ’t working. The emails themselves are getting through, itÂ’s just not sending out the confirmations.

The only requirements are that you think the post is good and that it be at least 2 months old. It doesn't even have to be from your own blog. It just can't get any simpler!

The basics of the Bestofme Symphony.
Want to host a Symphony?
Get reminder emails.

Posted by: Jim at 02:28 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 103 words, total size 1 kb.

Every once in a while I'll get curious about what people who find this site were looking for. I'll put on my rubber gloves and my thickest apron and check in the referral logs. Here, for your amusement, are some of the most recent search phrases that have brought people to Snooze Button Dreams. As always, my smarmy comments follow.

do you bite your thumb
No. And I stopped sucking on it months ago.

there's a party in my pants
Am I invited?

rape stories written by authors
I think that if it's written it sort of has to be by an author. Can you have a rape story written by a non-author? more...

Posted by: Jim at 11:39 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 322 words, total size 2 kb.

You jerk off for two days and make your readers work the site for you and then on the day everybody is expecting you back (perhaps with some sort of entertaining anecdote from two days of corporate scholastics?) you play the bastiche again and go AWOL. What gives?

I received the email above (in slightly altered form) and would like to take this time to say "bite me" "sorry y'all". I took the day off yesterday to attend Bear's graduation from Pre-K and had an awesome family day. I didn't take time on the PC to do anything except scan emails and the news aggregator occasionally. I'm back now so keep your panties on. (Or don't. I'm good either way.) more...

Posted by: Jim at 07:26 AM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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All has been settled. Copious points have been handed out and freebie codes sent to Rob and Simon.

This was pretty neat but I think that next time it'll be just a day long. With two days in a row the second day didn't seem to get much attention. Also, I'll see about getting the word out ahead of time so people will know what's coming up.

What do y'all think? Better than crappy post day? Worse? Would you rather have a pencil shoved in your ear than read just about anything on this site? You tell me. I want to know.

Posted by: Jim at 08:12 AM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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Final Update: SnoozeBob is back in his cage. The winner of the advertising at ZeroIntelligence.Net is Simon. Yay, Simon!

Thanks to all who participated and special thanks to Rob for heavily promoting the open Snooze event. Hell, Rob gets ZI advertising too. I'm feeling spunky.

Particulars will get sent out tomorrow once I set up the code thingy at Blogads.

Thanks, y'all! more...

Posted by: Jim at 04:00 PM | Comments (12) | Add Comment
Post contains 302 words, total size 2 kb.

1 Hey Jim, old buddy, any chance you can leave this open for those of us on the other side of the world?? Just need until about 10pm new York time...

Posted by: Simon at May 10, 2004 08:31 PM (UKqGy)

2 Well, that was a quickie, eh?

Posted by: Tuning Spork at May 10, 2004 10:05 PM (TP5dA)

3 He's a Charlie Brown headed vampire. They're not known for their endurance.

Posted by: Jim at May 10, 2004 10:06 PM (saeHM)

4 DAMNIT. I miss all the good shit.

Posted by: Emma at May 10, 2004 10:08 PM (kpNlZ)

5 Ya know, I have the hardest time tying to come up with some quality material to publish on my own blog -- of course, since no one reads my crap, I guess I ain't doin' all that great a job of it, so you are lucky I missed puttin' some crappy thought of mine up on yours, huh? I hardly ever find anywhere to post my SilkQuit statistics. Has anyone failed yet? Of course, if they did, would they really squeal on themselves? Four months, one week, two days, 22 hours, 16 minutes and 9 seconds has elapsed since I last took a puff off of a nasty cigarette and that now means 4582 cigarettes not smoked, allowin' me to save $916.20 in cash as well as possibly extendin' my life an additional 2 weeks, 1 day, 21 hours, 50 minutes. When I have saved $100 Grand, I am gonna buy me a candy bar as a reward to myself.

Posted by: notGeorge at May 10, 2004 11:20 PM (G5PGV)

6 It was still open, y'all. Don't forget to read the updated updates.

Posted by: Jim at May 11, 2004 05:17 AM (saeHM)

7 Thanks for dropping the link on blogging advice over at Electric Venom. Good words and well spoken.

Posted by: Dave Schuler at May 11, 2004 01:06 PM (xYj0a)

8 My pleasure, Dave.

Posted by: Jim at May 11, 2004 01:32 PM (IOwam)

9 speaking of posting.. survivor start date is up.

Posted by: pylorns at May 11, 2004 05:20 PM (FTYER)

10 Can I just say one thing to encapsulate just how I feel about actually winning this: Fucking wow! Eat that, Britney.

Posted by: Simon at May 11, 2004 09:16 PM (FUPxT)

11 There's only one problem with my rampant promotion tactics ... I seem to have a reader shortage

Posted by: Rob at May 12, 2004 05:59 AM (kXZI6)

12 Yeah, but you got an "E" for Effort, Rob!

Posted by: Jim at May 12, 2004 07:32 AM (saeHM)

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I'm in class today and tomorrow. I'll be wandering by the computer through the day but definitely won't have time to work up any decent posts. Instead of having a Crappy Post Day two weeks in a row I figured I'd ape some of the more successful bloggers and have an open microphone day.

There are only a couple of rules that you need to follow:

1. Make sure to use a title on the post and put your name in parenthesis at the end. Example: What I learned in class today (Jim Peacock)


2. Use the "SnoozeBob" category. That's going to be the general category for guest posters. Nothing like simple and easy to understand category titles to help folks navigate the site, eh?


3. Don't do anything that will get your ass permanently banned. There are no hard and fast rules for this because a goodly portion of my readership are clever and evil and if I made up rules or guidelines they would take a savage delight in finding loopholes through them. Just don't do anything remarkably and intentionally stupid or malicious and you'll be just fine.

If you're a blogger, don't forget to include a link to your own blog. Never pass up the opportunity for free advertising!

Here's the particulars:
Login URL
Account: SnoozeBob
Password: password

All y'all that already have accounts that can post here, feel free to use them or post using the SnoozeBob account. It's all good.

BEGIN!

PS - In case you've forgotten what he looks like, here's Snoozebob!

PSS - Munuvians will need to log out as themselves in order to login as SnoozeBob. It's that "logout" button at the top of the MT interface.

Posted by: Jim at 06:14 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 294 words, total size 2 kb.

Get your submissions in for the next Bestofme Symphony. Send them to bestofme@jpeacock.net and they'll be in Monday's edition at the all new and completely redesigned ultra spiffy MuNu. (Hey, Pixy - how's that redesign going?)

The only requirements are that you think the post is good and that it be at least 2 months old. It doesn't even have to be from your own blog. It just can't get any simpler!

The basics of the Bestofme Symphony.
Want to host a Symphony?
Get reminder emails.

Posted by: Jim at 09:25 AM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
Post contains 100 words, total size 1 kb.

It's Crappy Post Day (tm)! For those of you who have joined us since the last Crappy Post Day (tm) and for those regulars who have managed to blank Crappy Post Day (tm) from your minds, allow me to give a brief explanation.

Crappy Post Day (tm) is what happens when I am too busy to write anything for myself but the gut wrenching pangs of guilt force me to attend to my bloggerly duties regardless. What you get on Crappy Post Day (tm) are links to other peoples' stuff (said stuff being way better than things you'll find at The Snooze on this fateful day) and things that people send me or I pick up on my wanderings. Oh yes, I'm still wandering. No time to write something amusing for y'all but plenty of time to aimlessly trek through the drek (that rhymes!) that is our beloved blogosphere. Does that make me a bad person? I doubt it. Next to signing up everybody on my notify list to the Al Franken fan club, that hardly registers.

Posted by: Jim at 08:37 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 185 words, total size 1 kb.

And after I've got that I'll be commanding you to send in an entry for the next Bestofme Symphony. Send them to bestofme@jpeacock.net and they'll be in Monday's edition at Dramaqueen.

The only requirements are that you think the post is good and that it be at least 2 months old. It doesn't even have to be from your own blog. It just can't get any simpler!

The basics of the Bestofme Symphony.
Want to host a Symphony?
Get reminder emails.

Posted by: Jim at 01:22 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 87 words, total size 1 kb.

It's time to get those submission in for the Bestofme Symphony. Send them to bestofme@jpeacock.net and they'll be in Monday's edition at The Owners Manual.

The only requirements are that you think the post is good and that it be at least 2 months old. It doesn't even have to be from your own blog. It just can't get any simpler!

The basics of the Bestofme Symphony.
Want to host a Symphony?
Get reminder emails.

Posted by: Jim at 03:31 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 83 words, total size 1 kb.

Anybody out there (besides Pixy) catch what Jim Taranto (from The Wall Street Journal's "Best of the Web") said about ZeroIntelligence.Net?

Zero Tolerance Watch

We started covering "zero tolerance" madness three years ago, but we really ought to pass the torch to Jim Peacock, whose ZeroInteligence.net blog has become the best source on the subject.

3 months old, 154 regular subscribers, 56,010 visitors. So it's not quite Command Post level performance but I'm still happy. :-)

Posted by: Jim at 05:59 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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It's time to get those submission in for the Bestofme Symphony. Send them to bestofme@jpeacock.net and they'll be in Monday's edition at WOLves.

As a special bonus for this week and this week only, every author featured in the April 5 Bestofme Symphony will get a Snooze Point. That means that at a minimum they'll get a spot on the Snooze Point Leader board for the rest of the calendar year. They may also cure cancer and end third world hunger but those last two have requirements in addition to being on the Snooze Point Leader board.

The only requirements are that you think the post is good and that it be at least 2 months old. It doesn't even have to be from your own blog. It just can't get any simpler!

The basics of the Bestofme Symphony.
Want to host a Symphony?
Get reminder emails.

Posted by: Jim at 11:40 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 155 words, total size 1 kb.

Send in your submissions for the Bestofme Symphony and win a million dollars! (Please note that sending in a submission does not make you elligible to win a million dollars.)

Send your submissions to bestofme@jpeacock.net and they'll be in Monday's edition at Rocket Jones.

The only requirements are that you think the post is good and that it be at least 2 months old. It doesn't even have to be from your own blog. Now that's accomodating!

The basics of the Bestofme Symphony.
Want to host a Symphony?
Get reminder emails.

Posted by: Jim at 09:12 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 95 words, total size 1 kb.

A smaller button for those who have size issues with the first one.

Posted by: Jim at 01:11 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
Post contains 19 words, total size 1 kb.

1 Size issues? Heh.

Posted by: Jennifer at March 24, 2004 02:52 PM (DdBLw)

2 Yeah, I should have thought of that earlier. People are often intimidated by my size.

Posted by: Jim at March 24, 2004 02:54 PM (IOwam)

3 I'm happy with the big one, thanks.

Posted by: Susie at March 25, 2004 12:26 AM (9PzdO)

4 Wink, wink, nudge, nudge, say no more!

Posted by: Jim at March 25, 2004 05:39 AM (saeHM)

5 Ahh that's much better, now all I have to do is find room for it?

Posted by: Rob at March 25, 2004 06:40 AM (kXZI6)

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A little sidebar button for us Tactlessly Correct blogs:

Posted by: Jim at 03:17 PM | Comments (9) | Add Comment
Post contains 13 words, total size 1 kb.

Send in your submissions for the Bestofme Symphony and help bring a smile to a little girl's face. Not that the one leads to the other, I'm saying you should do both.

Send your submissions to bestofme@jpeacock.net and they'll be in Monday's edition at Practical Penumbra.

The only requirements are that you think the post is good and that it be at least 2 months old. It doesn't even have to be from your own blog! Can it get any easier? I don't think so!

The basics of the Bestofme Symphony.
Want to host a Symphony?
Get reminder emails.

Posted by: Jim at 10:56 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 107 words, total size 1 kb.

Send in those submissions for the Bestofme Symphony and I'll make ya hot like you had enough!

Send your submissions to bestofme@jpeacock.net and they'll be in Monday's edition at The Owners Manual.

The only requirements are that you think the post is good and that it be at least 2 months old. It doesn't even have to be from your own blog! Can it get any easier? I don't think so!

The basics of the Bestofme Symphony.
Want to host a Symphony?
Get reminder emails.

Posted by: Jim at 03:22 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 95 words, total size 1 kb.

As long-time readers know I occassionally run out of new material (this never actually happens) or am just too lazy to come up with an interesting post (yup, that's the one). When this happens I delve into the deep, dark, recesses of my referral logs and find the oddities that all y'all are looking for when you find my site in the search engines. Some of these are funny, some are just...ewwwwwwwwwwww. Either way, they earn a comment from moi.

deodorant commercial
I can understand the attraction. I am also drawn to these vignettes of American culturalism like a moth to the flame. Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman. Indeed.

my pants r 0n fire
In the good way as in "I'm a horny skank" or in the bad way as in "I really need a fire extinguisher"? Either way, I'm sure you can make some money if you get it on video.

homemade melting cheese
Is this for real? Can I really make my own melting cheese at home? I am sooooo sick of supporting the cheese establishment and their militant cheese monkeys forcing me to pay my hard earned money for their crappy melting cheese. My life would be close to perfect if I could make melting cheese at home. Fight the power!!

chippendale's man video download
If I've said it once I've said it a hundred times. Works from my "artistic" phase are available only from my agent. I don't sell or distribute anything directly.

bloody penguins
Yeah! Stinkin' rot grubbers! Always eating their fish and waddling around all over the place without so much as a "how do you do" or a "nice day we're having". I hope they all get eaten by a bear!

dirty little whore stories
Ah, I never get tired of talking about Joe Theismann.

Posted by: Jim at 08:03 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 317 words, total size 2 kb.

Over at the ZeroIntelligence.Net site is my first ever original reporting article. Yup, that's all me there. Nothing taken from another site or found somewhere or picked up at another location. Took the raw info, made a news article. Wow.

I feel all empowered now. Cool.

Posted by: Jim at 03:14 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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