Tomorrow, Friday the 29th of August will be the one month anniversary of Snooze Button Dreams. Wait a sec. That doesn't make sense. Anniversary, by definition, can only be used for years. "Anni" is for "annual" after all. What would months be? "Moniversaries"? Nah, sounds like a problem ladies would discuss with their special doctors: "...and besides the discharge there's this odor. Doctor, do I have moniversaries?"

Lets check some synonyms for month and see what we can find. Dictionary.com gives us...nuthin'. Just synonyms for "indefinite time". Indefinite? Hello? Look at a bloody calendar. A month is pretty definite! Let's wander over to Merriam-Webster and see what they've got. "No entries found that match month." WTF?

(Note that the "F" in the above "WTF" stands for "Freak". I'm working on my potty mouth. You should too.)

Now I'm getting pissed intrigued. No synonyms for "month". Hmm... Let's try something cyclic but still representative of the time slice we're going for - the moon! After all, months used to be defined by the phases of the moon. "Mooniversary"? Nah. Too similar to "Moniversary" (go figure). Do I dare look for synonyms to "moon"? You betcha.

Hmmm. Merriam's has one entry found for "blue moon". Includes such niceties as "coon's age, dog's age, donkey's years". Hmmm... "Cooniversary?" I don't think so. I'd end up getting lynched. Dictionary.com has...holy frejoles! 21 entries! The mother load! Let's check these categories... Desire? Nope. Liking? Nope. Shape Entity? Heck no. Okay, after further review there is 1 out of 21 entries that may be workable - Landform. Options include "celestial body, crescent, full moon, green cheese, half moon, heavenly body, new moon, old moon, planetoid, pumpkin, satellite, Sputnik". Sputnik? This is a synonym for "moon"?

Alrighty then. I'm on my own. Let down by the most modern reference materials that have been developed since man first put brush to the cave wall. It's a sad, sad, day when I can't reproduce my precociousness through phony internet research. Sad indeed. The gloves are off now, might as well drop the pretense. What was supposed to happen here was that I would go through some make believe research, creatively "guiding" my choice towards what I had already really selected. It's "luna" or "lunar" I was going for. Lunaversary, get it? Like "Loony-versary". Loony = crazy. 'Cause it has been a crazy month and "Lunaversary" would also give an amusing self deprecating slight at my own borderline sanity.

How can "luna" not be related to month or moon? Thanks a whole lot, dictionary.com. You just screwed my whole freaking post. And don't EVEN talk to me, Merriam!

UPDATE: I apologize profusely for the gross stuff at the beginning. You know, the "discharge and odor". Don't know what I was thinking there. Yuck.

UPDATE2: And those two so-called reference sites, those cast iron bitches of alliteration, don't have any synonyms for "luna" or "lunar" either!

Posted by: Jim at 02:33 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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