March 16, 2004
A Dirty Limmerick
There once was a man from Iraq,
With holes down the side of his cock.
When he got an erection,
He'd play a selection,
From Johann Sebastian Bach.
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With holes down the side of his cock.
When he got an erection,
He'd play a selection,
From Johann Sebastian Bach.
What's your favorite dirty limmerick?
Posted by: Jim at
06:24 AM
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Post contains 39 words, total size 1 kb.
1
There once was a man from Nantucket
Whose dick was so long he could suck it
He said with a grin
As he wiped off his chin
If my ear was a cunt
I would fuck it
I received in-school suspension for passing this in a note way back in 9th grade.
Posted by: Christine at March 16, 2004 09:39 AM (Q/NXM)
2
You used the "C" word! Oooooh! Mrs. Felcher! Christine used the "C" word!
Seriously though, we don't say "chin" on this blog.
Posted by: Jim at March 16, 2004 09:42 AM (IOwam)
3
How about this one:
There once was a man from Bel-air,
Who was screwing a chick on the stair.
The bannister broke,
So he quickened his stroke,
And finished her off in midair.
Posted by: Jim at March 16, 2004 09:43 AM (IOwam)
4
throw an asterisk in there for me. I wasn't thinking of others. Hey, but I'm a chick aren't I allowed to use that word? I felt empowered all over. Now, if you were to say it, well that would be different. You are the male oppressor. Then again, I have never understood how it can be more acceptable to put *st*r*sks in place of letters, we all know what they stand for. How is it that the placement of the actual l*tters makes the word d*rty, but ch*n makes it l*ss offensive?
Posted by: Christine at March 16, 2004 10:20 AM (Q/NXM)
5
"They that wash on Monday
Have all the week to dry;
They that wash on Tuesday
Are not so much awry;
They that wash on Wednesday
Are not so much to blam;
They that wash on Thursday
Wash for shame;
They that wash on Friday
Wash in need;
And they that wash on Saturday,
Oh! they're sluts indeed!."
(I happen to wash on Sunday. I guess that makes me a real strumpet!)
Posted by: Tiffany at March 16, 2004 10:22 AM (rDyup)
6
*blame.
oops.
Posted by: Tiffany at March 16, 2004 10:23 AM (rDyup)
7
Oh, that's okay Christine. My sensibilities aren't offended. It takes a large hairy man in a speedo or a restaurant that substitutes "spread" for butter and doesn't tell you in order to really offend my sensibilities.
I've usually heard that last line as "If my ear was a pussy I'd fuck it". Either way gets the basic meaning across.
I like that one, Tiffany. Lovely Wife does laundry almost every day (3 kids, dontcha know). She's like an uber wench!
*Blam! *Blam! *Blam!
Posted by: Jim at March 16, 2004 10:27 AM (IOwam)
8
Here's one I wrote a few years back that still amuses me:
A horny inventor named Sands
Through misfortune lost both of his hands.
He invented a motor
With a soft velvet rotor
Which he promptly affixed to his glans.
Posted by: Brian Jones at March 17, 2004 12:19 PM (E4NcZ)
9
The "finished her off in mid-air" thing reminded me of an old running ditty:
Tarzan and Jane a-swingin' from a vine
-(Tarzan and Jane a-swingin' from a vine)
Tarzan got Jane in a 69
-(Tarzan got Jane in a 69)
Jane lost her grip and down she fell
-(Jane lost her grip and down she fell)
Choked on his load and went straight to hell
Sing-a lo righta lay-o...
Posted by: Mike the Marine at March 17, 2004 02:04 PM (Zw7Hl)
10
There once was a lad from Peru,
Who fell asleep in a canoe.
He dreamt that his cock
Was as hard as a rock
And he woke up all covered with goo.
Posted by: Jim at March 17, 2004 02:09 PM (IOwam)
11
there once was a man from batrass
whose balls were made from fine brass
when came stormy weather
his balls clanged together
and sparks flew out of his ass
Posted by: gary at June 01, 2004 02:19 PM (yU0KL)
12
there once was a woman from venus
whos body was shaped like a penis
she said to her man
when you take me in hand
you'll find theres no difference between us
Posted by: gary at June 01, 2004 02:20 PM (yU0KL)
13
there once was a hermit name dave
who kept a dead whore in his cave
when she started to smell
he said oh what the hell
look at the money ive saved
Posted by: gary at June 01, 2004 02:21 PM (yU0KL)
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