April 06, 2004

If I'm a Grammar God I must be Loki

I wonder if it's my mischievous nature or my unparallelled geekitude that makes me grin at stuff like this.

How I met my wife

It had been a rough day, so when I walked into the party I was very chalant, despite my efforts to appear gruntled and consolate.

I was furling my wieldy umbrella for the coat check when I saw her standing alone in a corner. She was a descript person, a woman in a state of total array. Her hair was kempt, her clothing shevelled, and she moved in a gainly way.

I wanted desperately to meet her, but I knew I'd have to make bones about it, since I was traveling cognito. Beknownst to me, the hostess, whom I could see both hide and hair of, was very proper, so it would be skin off my nose if anything happened. And even though I had only swerving loyalty to her, my manners couldn't be peccable. Only toward and heard-of behaviour would do.

Fortunately, the embarrassment that my maculate appearance might cause was evitable. There were two ways about it, but the chances that someone as flappable as I would be ept enough to become persona grata or a sung hero were slim. I was, after all, something to sneeze at, someone who usually aroused bridled passion.

I was plussed. It was concerting to see that she was communicado, and it nerved me that she was interested in a pariel like me, sight seen. Normally, I had a domitable spirit, but, being corrigible, I felt capacitated - as if this were something I was great shakes at - and forgot that I had succeeded in situations like this only a told number of times. So, after terminable delay, I acted with mitigated gall and made my way through the ruly crowd with strong givings.

Nevertheless, since this was all new hat to me and I had no time to prepare a promptu speech, I was petuous. Wanting to make only called-for remarks, I started talking about the hors d'oeuvres, trying to abuse her of the notion that I was sipid, and perhaps even bunk a few myths about myself.

She responded well, and I was mayed that she considered me a savory character who was up to good. She told me who she was. "What a perfect nomer," I said, advertently. The conversation became more and more choate, and we spoke at length to much avail. But I was defatigable, so I had to leave at a godly hour. I asked if she wanted to come with me. To my delight she was committal. We left the party together and have been together ever since. I have given her my love, and she has requited it.

(Hat tip to Dopple-G)

Posted by: Jim at 09:17 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
Post contains 481 words, total size 3 kb.

1 Jim, Once again you have completely whelmed me with awe. Your spiring use of the language is controvertible proof of your brilliance.

Posted by: Christine at April 06, 2004 09:56 AM (Q/NXM)

2 That actually hurt to read. How long did it take you to write it?

Posted by: Clancy at April 07, 2004 11:21 AM (EGVPL)

3 Hell, I didn't write that! I'm nowhere near that proficient in English. LOL

Posted by: Jim at April 07, 2004 11:34 AM (IOwam)

Hide Comments | Add Comment

Comments are disabled. Post is locked.
16kb generated in CPU 0.071, elapsed 0.1353 seconds.
86 queries taking 0.1202 seconds, 181 records returned.
Powered by Minx 1.1.6c-pink.