October 06, 2003
"Illusionist Roy Horn, half of the famed "Siegfried and Roy" entertainment duo, was fighting for his life after being savagely mauled by a tiger during his Las Vegas stage show."
Montecore, one of the signature white tigers used in the show, bit Roy on the neck. Roy is in critical but stable condition.
Newsflash: Tigers are dangerous creatures! more...
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October 03, 2003
"What do you do when you are $40 billion in debt? Drink a ButtMonkey."
(Hat tip to G)
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October 02, 2003
Hell on Earth is an alternative rock band known for it's stage antics, which have included grinding up rats in a blender. The group said last week on its Web site that a terminally ill member of a right-to-die group plans to commit suicide on stage in a political statement about euthanasia.
This brings up some interesting legal questions. Is suicide illegal? The band isn't actually assisting the act of suicide in any way so the whole assisted suicide thing doesn't come into play here. Can the police legally stop somebody from committing suicide?
('nother hat tip to G)
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"It's never done," testified Dr. Sidney Weschler of South Dakota during the eighth week of Finkel's trial.
"Tugging the nipple annoys patients," he said.
What about tugging mens' nipples? If it turns out that isn't standard practice I am going to feel so abused.
(Hat tip to G for the link)
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I guess that says it all. The fact that it was a sequel to an abominably awful movie that did well solely due to its novelty, a geek fixation on a computer generated sex doll and a marked similarity between Angelina Jolie's boobies and that of the aforementioned pixelated fantasy figure had nothing to do with it. The additional facts of Angelina Jolie being revealed to posess the acting prowess of a turnip and having multiple psychoses plus the sequel having the exact same plot as the original had even less to do with this movie's box office performance.
UPDATE (SBD): I've just learned that H (aka "Helen", aka "Lithe Nimble-Bodied Chick", aka "The Fairy Menace") is a huge fan of the Tomb Raider movies. Not only did she see both of them multiple times in the theater but she purchased several copies of each on DVD to "do her part to support the franchise". Furthermore, many of her detailed sexual experiences were actually just sessions when she watched Cradle of Life, an experience that she feels is "incredibly orgasmic". That cobbled together electronic pleasure device that we all thought was a vibrator? Nope. VCR remote.
Help me show Helen the error of her ways. Support Snooze Button Dreams and The Mappist Coalition. Click on that "View the Guestmap" button in my right sidebar and sign my map. Show the Fairy Defamation League and Everyday Stranger that we will not tolerate anything but the truth in our titilation.
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