Kia wants a new definition for "Baby Boomer" and they're not afraid to petition for it. Why exactly do they want a new definition? To show that Baby Boomers are young at heart!

What?

The current definition at Miriam-Webster is a group of people born during a baby boom". Kia wants your help to change it to ... er ... well, we have no idea what they want to change it to. And they want your virtual signature saying that you want it changed to nothing in particular as well:

I agree that the dictionary definition of Baby Boomer needs to be changed! The current definition is "a group of people born during a baby boom." (Source: Merriam-Webster Dictionary)

My signature on this petition does not mean that I accept the new definition of Baby Boomer that will be presented to a dictionary publisher, but that I agree the existing definition is not reflective of the youthful attitude of our generation and should be changed.

This has got to be the single most idiotic suck-up promotion I've ever encountered.

(Hat tip to Lovely Wife)

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Women Needed to Test Orgasm Machine

No, really. An American surgeon who has patented a device that triggers an orgasm has begun a clinical trial approved by the Food and Drug Administration (news - web sites) in the United States and is looking for female volunteers.

Looking for volunteers? I would have thought he's be running from them. Dr Stuart Meloy thought that would be the case as well. more...

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These guys have their shit together a bit better than the ones I profiled yesterday. They evaluate toys for physical danger based on solid and static criteria instead of trying to quantify the "social" hazard of a gift. But they're a bit kooky too, as evidenced by these entries (emphasis mine): more...

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The Dirty Dozen list is out from The Lion & Lamb Project. These are the 12 toys that should be most avoided due to violent content. The list is predicated on the understanding that young children lack an ability to distinguish between reality and fantasy so they must be insulated from all conflict and violence. They go way too far but I can at least understand the objective here. There are a lot of violent toys targetted to kids and they are trying to raise awareness of that. The thing that groups like this continue to overlook with things like this blanket ban recommendation is that not all kids are the same and it is the responsibility of the parent/guardian to guide the individual child according to that child's development and mentality. As they consistently miss the point their message is just as consistently corrupted.

The thing that really blows me away with this group is the rationale they give for these specific toys. Let's take a gander at the most egregious ones: more...

Posted by: Jim at 10:21 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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But wait! That's not how much it costs, it's how much Joseph Tomaino (aka Rod Stiffenpants) was supposed to be awarded when he sued The Male Sexual Dysfunction Institute for giving him that 72 hour stiffy.

FREEHOLD, N.J. - A man who had to endure a three-day erection after penile surgery was awarded $3 million by a jury two years ago...

[Sigh] I used to live in Freehold. Why is it that everywhere I lived there are kooks in the news? Terrorists in Lackawana (Buffalo), Berkley is freak central, Cubs in Chicago. It's like all of the places I leave are cursed. Anyway...

...but an appeals court ordered a Monmouth County judge to lower the award.

Sanity! Thank you, appeals court! But wait, there's more.

So Superior Court Judge Alexander Lehrer did — by one penny.

Hah, hah, hah. Good one, Lehrer! I bet the appeals court was quite amused.

In a decision written this week, the appeals panel reversed the judgment and sent the case back with orders for another judge to reduce the award, citing Lehrer's "demonstrated unwillingness to comply with our instructions."

Ever been bitch slapped by the appeals court before, Alex?

The appeals court had ordered Lehrer, who presided over the trial, to cut the $3 million, saying the size of the award "shocked the court's conscience"

Shocked the hell out of my concience too. The news story gets confusing at this point as it is intimated that the 3 day flagpole wasn't the problem - the guy is impotent for life. But, didn't he go to this place because he was impotent? As far as I can figure using this lowsy reporting job, Tomaino couldn't get it up so he went for help. They fixed him enough to give his girlfriend 3 days of heaven but then he couldn't get it up again. So he sues and gets $3 million?

I hope I'm seriously misreading this.

Posted by: Jim at 11:16 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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So, some rich chick that I never heard of until last month got shagged rotten on tape. Um...who cares? I mean, come on! A rich, pampered, sex kitten with nothing except money and guys to blow had nasty sex? What are the odds? Why, this is the most shocking thing since rich, spoiled, playmate, sex kitten Pamela Anderson had nasty sex. I couldn't believe it then and I can't believe it now.

That people are making a deal out of this, that is. People have sex. Some people get off by taping themselves having sex. Rich spoiled socialites are people, just like playmates, other types of sex kittens, gardeners, average Joes with McJobs and even (arguably) Hillary Clinton. Why is it so shocking that a small percentage of these people are also stupid enough to let these tapes escape into the wild? With the number of stupid people out there it's inevitable that there will be people who belong in both the "sex taper" and "moron" groups.

Get over it already.

Posted by: Jim at 10:36 AM | Comments (17) | Add Comment
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Howard Dean campaigns in Tallahassee

Democratic presidential candidate Howard Dean told a Tallahassee audience today that southerners have to quit basing their votes on "race, guns, God and gays."

...

Dean said he hopes to reassemble a coalition of conservative southern voters like President Franklin Roosevelt had in the "solid South" 70 years ago.

Yeah, Howard. That's just the way to start turning around the polls down here in Hicksville.

Damn Yankee.

UPDATE: This just struck me as odd. Isn't Dean's platform partially based on promotion of minorities, gun control, and gay rights? Sort of a case of the pot saying "I'm a lying jackass and you should vote for me as anything else will just show that you're ignunt hicks." calling the kettle black.

UPDATE2: Sure enough, on Dean's own website we find that he has policy statements about race, guns and gays. Nothing really specific about God but there's a good bit of brimstone in the dozens of search results for 'religious'. So was Dean telling us Southerners to not consider him as a candidate then? Or just to ignore his issues?

(First heard at Day by Day, link found at Instapundit)

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Radio National

Inaugural winner of the Prime MinisterÂ’s Prize for Science Dr Jim Peacock has just (last week) become President of the Australian Academy of Science. Will he, a champion of GM technology find it difficult to deal with public concerns about uses of genetically modified crops? How will he confront the ever diminishing supply of funds for research.

I didn't even know I was eligible. So where's my plane ticket? And how did they know that I like GM cars? And what does that have to do with genetically modified crops? Wacky Aussies.

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Found at Electric Venom. Kate got it from Inoperable Terran

'Takin Two' Talk of Town

RIO RANCHO, N.M. -- A Rio Rancho teen was slapped with an in-school suspension for taking both sodas that came out of a vending machine, when he had only paid for one.

On Monday, Rio Rancho student Mason Kisner, 12, said he bought a can of pop at a school vending machine, and instead of getting one can, he received two.

Kisner said he spread the word, and other students tried to get in on the deal. A teacher who saw Kisner getting the two sodas on Monday told him not to do it again. But Kisner said the teacher saw him get another two sodas for the price of one on Tuesday.

The boy said the teacher called him a thief and accused him of trying to teach other students how to steal. He was written up, given a two-day in-school suspension and the incident will appear on his permanent school record.

First things first. Isn't this entrapment? The teacher knows that the machine is malfunctioning. Instead of disabling the machine, he/she decided to just keep an eye on it. How is this different from putting a $5 bill on your desk and hiding in the closet? He/she created a situation designed to tempt people into an act that he/she viewed as illegal.

Second things second. How exactly do you not take the second soda? None of the vending machines here in Georgia have a return slot in case an extra soda pops out. Are the machines different in New Mexico? Should he have brought the extra soda to the principal's office maybe? Does anybody believe that whatever authority figure he surrendered it to would then contact the vendor to return the can? Or that the vendor would drive on down to collect it? How many people would go out of their way to return an extra soda from a vending machine in any case? According to the poll posted with that news article a whopping 5% would do so.

Last things last. Kisner shouldn't have gone back to the machine after having been warned by the teacher. He messed up when he did. The teacher should have handled the machine problem. He/she messed up when he/she didn't. Shouldn't the teacher be subjected to a similar punishment? Suspension for a week and a permanent record statement along the lines of "contributed to the delinquency of a minor".

Posted by: Jim at 08:29 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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