Georgia, Sweet Georgia

New plaque at Stone Mountain Park on the observation deck behind the museum.

That's what I've been trying to say!

Posted by: Jim at 02:25 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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How do you spell "clueless"?

Thanks to Amish Tech Support for pointing out this article. Looky, looky:

The Security Council sits in a hollow rotunda. Somebody seriously needs to run around the middle of that thing with a clue by four and apply it liberally.

To strengthen protection of its personnel, the UN passed a resolution. They passed a resolution! Don't they understand that a freaking memo to the field offices would be more effective? A little email with basic instructions like "When your country of operations is liberated from an oppressive regime, replace the local guards who are loyalists to the departed powers. Also, when the occupying power of a country offers you assistance with your security and said power is not a totalitarian or theocratic despotism, and said power has just completed the most successful ground war in the history of mankind, assume that they know more about the security situation than your sorry pencil pushing ass and let them help."

I really can't believe they passed a freaking resolution. Does anybody believe that the next Exploder Jr is going to change his mind because the UN is willing to call his scraped together leftover bits a war criminal? Unbefreakinglievable.

Posted by: Jim at 04:39 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Parents Group Criticizes CBS Drama 'CSI'

I despise watchdog groups. I especially despise familycentric-holier-than-thou-if-you're-not-with-us-you-are-obviously-a-scumbag-child-molester-with-no-concept-of-decency-or-right-watchdog-groups whos entire goal is to censor what I am allowed to watch through self important proselytizing. I heard about the news article linked in the title of this post this morning on the radio and was flabbergasted to such an extent that I simply had to do some fisking. Let's begin.

It is a show about crime. It is the number one show on CBS because it is well acted and written and uses real crimes as the gestalt for the plotlines. In the real world, where I live, there are such things as cannibalism, S&X sex clubs and snuff films.

What does the time slot matter? This is an adult show, don't let your kids watch it! Turn the freaking TV off for once! "Family Hour" in my house involves tickling, wrestling, game playing and building castles out of Duplo blocks, not vegging in front of the bloody television.

Really? How do you deal with child rape in a manner suitable to the PTC?

Archie: The victim seems to have been touched in a bad way in her personal place.

Gil: The guy we're looking for must be a very bad person.

I appreciate Chris' need to defuse the situation but there's nothing noble at all about attempted censorship.

Uh huh. In fact, when you look at the "approved shows" from this group you find a strange corellation between "faith in God" and presence on the list.

Their site is a trip as well. When you first hit it you are greeted by a nice eye catching message:

After all, that's the easiest way for them to impose their morals on you. The vocal minority is a very powerful tool. Get enough people to harrass the FCC and they'll puke on a show to shut people up. Then the network censors will take care of the rest out of fear and overreaction. They brag that they have 800,000 members and growing. Make that 800,002 because Tickl M. Elmo and Fudgebar Rider just became members too. I wonder if some of the first 800,000 might be um...spurious.

The PTC rates each show with a green, yellow or red light to let you know if it's "safe". Green is good. Yellow is on the shady side. Red is right out. Let's see what the PTC wants us to watch this week. Tonight from 8:00 to 10:30 there is a fantastic selection of approved shows. Well, there's one approved show. America's Funniest Home Videos is aparently the only show that's safe for your family. Boston Public gets the red light in Sex, Language, Violence and Overall categories. That nefarious corrupter of family values, Reba gets a yellow light for Sex. Sex. On Reba. Right. Drilling down to the review on the show we find the problem:

Of course. Discussing teen pregnancy in a mature manner, in context and appropriate to the time slot is a yellow flag. Plus Reba is a redhead and you know they're all wonton harlots.

Moving to Saturday our choice remains precisely one show, Candid Camera. Oh, Sweet Jesus. Put a pencil in my eye. Please.

Sunday is a veritable cornucopia of fun with more Candid Camera at 8:00 followed by Doc at 9:00. Never heard of Doc? Not surprising. It's on PAX and stars that renouned actor Billy Ray Cyrus, who plays a eunich doctor from the country who finds himself in New York City. Hillarity ensues. I'm not sure just how much hillarity because:

Which is, of course, what is required to earn the green light from PTC.

Following Doc Billy is Sue Thomas F.B.Eye which I can't muster enough interest in to click the link to find out what it is about and just how a cop show avoids language, violence or sexual content.

On Monday we have two shows to pick from but they are unfortunately both on at the same time. So do we watch Yes, Dear or 7th Heaven? Easy question. 7th Heaven is a favorite show for Lovely Wife and I. But how did it get the green light here? It has featured storylines about teen pregnancy, child abuse, theft, infidelity, alcoholism, drug abuse, racism and even child abandonment. The show info from PTC doesn't really help explain why 7th Heaven gets a by when Reba got slammed. I believe it has more to do with the fact that 7th Heaven is the most popular show for all of the actual members of the PTC and if they gave it less than a green light there would be mutiny. Ye olde double standard.

Moving through the week we get more oatmeal programming with return visits by Candid Camera and Doc with other such drivel as Three's Still Company But Without Boobage 8 Simple Rules and George Lopez (a show which has only one saving grace - Constance Marie, who is so hot she sets off sprinkler systems on a regular basis).

In short, crap, crap, more crap, loads of crap, 7th Heaven, crap, crap, crap.

But the Parents Television Council doesn't stop with television. Oh, no. That would be a travesty. If they actually followed their own charter they wouldn't be able to attack the movie industry, singers and Target. Or even Powell who is brought to task for his apparent lack of concern for decency standards. As you know, Powell is the single most important decision maker regarding decency standards in the United States.

Anyway, I'm going to wrap this up now because I'm sick of the subject and any of you who have read this far probably are as well. My summary: The PTC is just another power club trying to impose its moral code on others through intimidation and censorship.

Posted by: Jim at 11:49 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Unfreakylinks

There's been a lot of chatter about the rash of "freak" deaths in the past couple days. There's the decapitated doc, the amusement park fellow who was snagged by a ride and then scalped and dropped to his death, and the visitor to Vegas who was electrocuted by a traffic signal box.

Bull pucky.

These are not freak deaths. They are candidates for The Darwin Awards. Let me show you why.

Terrible? Yes. A freak accident? No. Cause of death was stupidity. He was spraying lubricant on the tracks while the ride was operating! I am neither a carny nor an engineer but my very most basic intelligence tells me not to be working on the tracks when the train is coming.

Regretable? Absolutely. Unpredictable, against the odds accident? No. Cause of death is once again stupidity. Add it up: Powerful Weekend Thunderstorm + No Shoes + Stepping On Electrical Control Box = Idiot.

A horrible loss of an apparently wonderfully caring physician? It sure is. Once in a million happenstance? Not really. Cause of death is mostly stupidity. I'll probably get some grief for this one but I'm plunging forward anyway.

The doors trapped him by the shoulders. Try to imagine in your mind how in the world a pair of vertical sliding doors can close and trap somebody's shoulders. First of all the doors have to be either closing incredibly quickly or just about closed already. The doors moving quickly scenario is not feasible. The motors that work them are strong but they are not fast. They simply do not have the ability to move the doors appreciably faster than we are used to seeing them move. Second, the person must be fairly horizontal - it didn't catch his torso, body, etceteras, just his shoulders (plural). How in the world could our unfortunate doc be in at least a semi-horizontal position entering an elevator with doors that were mostly closed? The obvious situation suggested (demanded, really) by the facts is that he was rushing into the closing elevator trying to engage the safety stop so the doors would open. We've all seen it. Most of us have done it. Most people don't put in a whole torso like this fellow but at least a hand or arm is far too often used to trip that rubber bumper so we don't have to wait for the next elevator. Although the attempted action is fairly common it sure isn't intelligent. Pushing in head first is downright dumb. Now add in that this particular elevator was known to have mechanical problems and you can see why I count this cause of death as stupidity (even if you don't agree with me).

So to summarize, these are definite tragedies. Loss of human life generally is. They were not, however, the freak accidents they are being portrayed as. The real moral of these stories is to use basic safety precautions and common sense. Do not work on train tracks when the train is coming. Do not walk barefoot onto electrical boxes during a thunderstorm. Do not thrust body parts into large moving metal plates, especially when you know they aren't working correctly.

Use your head, or you just might lose it.

Posted by: Jim at 09:58 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Care package sent to AWOL Texas Dems

This is too rich.

The Republicans sent a "care package" containing diapers, baby rattles, child leashes and pacifiers to the 11 Democrats staying at the Marriott Hotel in Albuquerque.

Texas GOP Chair Susan Weddington says it is a tongue in cheek response to the Dems childish behavior. The self exiled Dems responded with a request for talcum powder.

Hat tip: Melva via Cry Me a River

Posted by: Jim at 08:11 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Circle the Wagons

Experts: Internet Attack Possible

"An alert distributed Thursday among U.S. government agencies warned of 'widespread scanning and exploitation' of victim computers by hackers who were developing 'improved and automated exploit tools.'

Alan Paller of the SANS Institute in Bethesda, Md., said a disruption could be worse by orders of magnitude than previous high-profile attacks -- such as the summer 2001 outbreak of the "Code Red" virus -- because of the numbers of vulnerable systems. "

In typical dumbed down alarmist fashion the article relays the danger in generic terms that relate absolutely no useful information. You see this danger is due to "a flaw in Windows software from Microsoft Corp". What flaw? I guess there's only the one. No need to specify then. Which Windows? There' a freaking dozen flavors in common use now.

Aparently the hackers are going to get control of our computers using their "improved and automated exploit tools." Nothing is said, of course, about what these tools might be or how they could be used or countered.

The biggest fear is "that hackers will quickly unleash automated "worm" software that attacks large numbers of computers within minutes". Ah, yes. The obligatory "worm" that must appear in all articles having to do with the internet, computers and/or technology. Newsies eventually came to realize that "virus" was becoming understood and accepted by the populace at alarge so they have to use "worm" now if they want to be scary. By the way, why is "worm" always in scare quotes?

The attack could come "any day now", it "could be worse by orders of magnitude than previous high-profile attacks" causing a ""significant impact" on the internet". Note the scare quotes around "significant impact". There is a brief note that Microsoft has a security update (they call it a "repairing patch") but no mention of which one they are talking about, who needs to use it or how to get it. The only thing they say about it is that "a large rollout may need to take some time". It's a race against the hackers! Why won't these people hurry up!?

Run away! Run away!

Feh. I hate news.

UPDATE: I just realized that my first fisking was a pointless rant at a local news article. I feel so... so... unfulfilled.

Posted by: Jim at 09:14 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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