. He just happened to post pretty much the exact thing that I was working on for a post. But being the resilient and dynamic writer that I am I will shift to another topic with the grace and agility of a ballet dancer. An incredibly well hung and hairy chested ballet dancer, I might add.
Cell phone use while driving. It's evil incarnate. It's dangerous. It causes accidents. Cell phones kill!
Fortunately, the Georgia Assembly is considering just how they are going to word a law that will make it illegal to use cell phones while driving unless you use a hands-free set. The people who are pushing for a law against cell phones aren't happy. This law isn't strict enough. You see, they want a complete ban on using cell phones while driving. They say that it isn't the act of holding a phone that distracts a driver, it is the attention he* pays to the conversation.
A complete ban on cell phones in cars just doesn't go far enough. We also need to make a law against talking to the driver. If a conversation on a phone is so distracting how could anybody argue that a conversation with the person next to you isn't? Maybe we can mandate that each new car has a sticker like the ones on busses: "Do not speak to driver while vehicle is in motion."
more...
1
I was with you on this right up until the Ford Festiva rule. But I would sell any remaining libertarian sympathies I have right down the river for the chance to ban "Calvin and all of his pissing targets." Oh please, can we?
Posted by: ilyka at July 11, 2005 02:12 PM (hhWS2)
2
You forgot construction, I can't tell you how many accident's I've almost had/caused while looking at construction.
Posted by: kmsqrd at July 11, 2005 02:26 PM (LaWVW)
3
While we're at it, let's ban stupid people.
Posted by: diamond dave at July 11, 2005 04:18 PM (leTFD)
4
Perhaps all windows should be blacked out entirely so nothing outside the car pulls the driver's focus. Navigate entirely on radar, or maybe just go really slow and have a white cane poking out a convenient hole in the driver side door.
Or a dog, to lead the car.
Did we ban dogs already? Damn.
Posted by: LeeAnn at July 11, 2005 08:03 PM (v9jcm)
5
You forgot about baning people on the sidewalks.
Cause you know how distracting a man, cutting grass while wearing shorts and boots can be to drivers.
Posted by: Machelle at July 12, 2005 01:09 PM (ZAyoW)
6
Machelle,mentioning men distracting us....Naval Bases definitly should be banned then.The NAVY period.Its killer number one under married women!
Posted by: LW at July 12, 2005 01:34 PM (oqu5j)
7
I love it! The problem is that all of this presupposes that our legislators have common sense - something we all know they don't...
Posted by: Clancy at July 12, 2005 01:51 PM (JxYJc)
8
they tried that here in austin and it didnt last more than 2 weeks. I think in reality they should set it so that if you get pulled over or in an accident, the fine is double if you were on a cell phone.
Posted by: pylorns at July 12, 2005 01:53 PM (FTYER)
9
Oh, and don't forget billboards! We've got to get rid of those distracting billboards.
And everyone should have to score at least 130 on an IQ test before they're given a driver's license.
Oh, and all car windows need to be tinted very dark so that drivers cannot be distracted by seeing someone in another car.
You should probably ban those pretty green-yellow-red lights at intersections, too. They can be very serious distractions!
And all of those green and white signs. A driver shouldn't be expected to read while driving, you know!
Oh, and I'm with ilyka on the Festiva rule. . .
Posted by: Dave at July 12, 2005 05:37 PM (c6xQA)
10
I hate to say this, but you'll have to ban attractive women too. I'm distracted by them more then anything else.
Posted by: Contagion at July 12, 2005 06:25 PM (Q5WxB)
11
Good point, Contagion. They really shouldn't be driving anyway. Did you know that statistically women cause close to HALF of ALL accidents?
Posted by: Jim at July 12, 2005 07:18 PM (oqu5j)
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