So whatever did happen to Beavis, that icon of wastrel youth, foil to Butthead and whacker off in tool sheds? He's alive and well in Oregon.

(Hat tip to Dopple-G)

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Fish n chips' UK credentials under fire

LONDON (Reuters) - The reputation of fish and chips as Britain's national dish has taken a battering after a historian said the classic meal originated elsewhere.

Ye gads! If not from the fair island nation then where, pray tell, where? Please don't say France.

Panikos Panayi, history professor at Leicester's De Montfort University, said his studies had shown deep-fried battered fish and potatoes were a mixture of French "pommes frites"...

I said NOT to say France! Bloody nubber!

...and fried fish dishes brought by Jewish immigrants.

Ah ha! I am so going to hold this over everybody who ever told me they didn't like kosher food.

"Over time it has become anglicised," he told Reuters. "It has almost become part of Britain."

It's certainly become part of the blood vessels of Britain.

Panayi, who is studying how immigration and globalisation have affected the British diet, said food brought in by immigrants often evolved once it reached the country's shores.

So there you have it. Brit culture is really just a combination of Frog and Hebrew. Might as well put down that pint and grab up a bottle of wine, mates.

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CON PROMISES SLICK INHERITANCE

LONDON (Reuters) - A pharmacy in Scotland is suffering from a bad case of mistaken identity after it was used as the front for a Nigerian sting con.

Unsuspecting victims from around the world are descending on the chemists shop in Thurso, Caithness, believing it to be a bank they were duped into paying thousands of pounds.

How can there possibly be people with thousands of disposable dollars who are so stupid they can fall for this highly publicized con? It's OOOOOOLLLLLLLDDDDDDD! It's documented up the freaking wazzoo. It's been on every news channel, every news magazine, in every paper. Hell, they joked about it on Malcolm in the Middle this week!

Each was told they would inherit an oil company in return for an upfront fee to be paid into an account at the Continental Trust Bank -- but the bank does not exist and the address given was that of Sutherland's the chemists.

Even if nobody had ever warned anybody about it, how many synapses have to fire before you realize that this is bogus? You will inherit an oil company if you pay an upfront fee? What? And where is this bridge you're selling me?

Arlen Hughes, from Wyoming in the United States, was told he would inherit $41 million (23 million pounds) if he paid $57,000 up front.

"I received a call from a fella in Nigeria saying that I had inherited an oil company," he told Today. "They were very professional."

"I found a registered number in Scotland and so the researches I had found led me to believe they were on the uppity up."

Sure, Arlen. Blinded by greed and posessed of startling stupidity. But they had a registered number! Um...yeah. So based on the fact that they had a phone he gave them $57,000. Jackass moron asshat.

Please, please, please, do not waste even a single penny of taxpayer money on this crap. Let the greedy morons pay and keep paying for their stupidity. Consider them a suplement on foreign aid to Africa just like the Lottery is a special tax on people who are bad at math.

Posted by: Jim at 07:47 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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Virginia Arrests Man for Spam Email Under New Law

DULLES, Va. (Reuters) - Virginia authorities said on Thursday they had arrested and charged a North Carolina man for sending "spam" e-mail in the first use of a new state law that could bring penalties of up to 20 years in prison.

20 Years? Wow!

At least he'll be very popular with his huge penis, unlimited supply of viagra and hordes of barely legal girls.

(Inspired by Art Marion)

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Bruce Simpson is an engineer and a tinkerer, as well as the editor of The Aardvark Daily, New Zealands longest-running daily tech-news and commentary website. He also loves doing things that are viewed as impossible. Stuff like building a $5000 cruise missile.

The DIY Cruise Missile project was going splendidly. Thousands of people followed the progress of the missile on Bruce's Interesting Projects site. (Incidentally, that's the site to check out if you want to build your own rocket powered gokart or jet engine.) Bruce was getting his parts off of the internet and had even licensed an American company to manufacture his X-Jet engine.

Now the New Zealand Government has aparently squashed the project. They've bankrupted Bruce and nixed the engine deal to the US. This is despite receiving government permission to export the same technology to Iran and Iran sure does want it.

So why did the Inland Revenue Department kill his jet engine tech sale and bankrupt him? Bruce claims that the NZ government was responding to pressure from the American government over his cruise missile project. "The New Zealand government at first said I had done nothing illegal. But then a US official was quoted as saying it was 'extremely unhelpful'."

All is not lost though as Bruce has seemingly proved his original point "that by using off-the-shelf technology in a suburban garage a terrorist can create a weapon against which there is no effective defence."

(Tuned on to this by Dopple-G)

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If you are as pissed off about this as I am you should let Dennis know about it. I did:

I'm about as openminded as a person can get without being indecisive. I try to give time and thought to every position before forming a decisive opinion on it. With this attitude I just watched the new animated 2004 election piece at http://www.kucinich.us/dk.html.

It is abhorrent. It is an absolute travesty of decency and respect. The only message it gives is that Dennis Kucinich is driven by hatred irrespective of the issues at hand. I can forgive many things in a candidate but hatred is not one of them. Hatred is unpredictable and unstable. It will always be a reason to vote against a candidate, never a reason to vote for one.

I'm unfamiliar with the legality behind this propaganda piece but I sincerely hope that the families of each and every one of the fallen that you used in this abomination seek and find recompense against your reprehensible use of their names, images and lives.

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Keep the Sex R-Rated, N.Y.U. Tells Film Students

In October, a film student at New York University pitched an idea for her video-making class: a four-minute portrayal of the contrast between unbridled human lust and banal everyday behavior.

Sounds like a fair project to me. Washing dishes and bumping uglies. Wouldn't do well on the porn circuit but this is an "art" project so go for it. more...

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Things are looking up for the Cowboys.

Watch the clip and see if you can tell what is very, very wrong for a broadcast channel to have in a news report. If you don't see it, check in the extended entry for a hint.

(Still more from Dopple-G. Is that guy great, or what?) more...

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122 years after shootout, attorney to gather information for a pardon

Wasn't there something about "speedy" on the books somewhere?

THE GOVERNORÂ’S office said RobinsÂ’ primary task will be to gather and assess evidence during a renewed investigation into the circumstances of Billy the KidÂ’s violent life and death, to determine whether the Kid (a.k.a. William H. Bonney, Henry McCarty or Kid Antrim) merits a pardon.

A pardon? The guy's been dead for 122 years. What's the point?

Even though all sides in the Billy the Kid brouhaha say theyÂ’re using pro bono services rather than public funds, critics have wondered why public officials are spending such time and attention on a 122-year-old case.

Hey, I just said that!

Looking beyond the question of frontier justice, those officials usually point out that the Old West legends — and the tourists attracted by such legends — are big business for New Mexico. And they say that makes looking for the truth worth the trouble.

Ah! Tourism dollars. That explains it. In that case, look for Billy to get his pardon as it will change him from a romanticized outlaw into a wrongfully slain romantic hero and that's worth more money.

(Hat tip to Lovely Wife)

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Kia wants a new definition for "Baby Boomer" and they're not afraid to petition for it. Why exactly do they want a new definition? To show that Baby Boomers are young at heart!

What?

The current definition at Miriam-Webster is a group of people born during a baby boom". Kia wants your help to change it to ... er ... well, we have no idea what they want to change it to. And they want your virtual signature saying that you want it changed to nothing in particular as well:

I agree that the dictionary definition of Baby Boomer needs to be changed! The current definition is "a group of people born during a baby boom." (Source: Merriam-Webster Dictionary)

My signature on this petition does not mean that I accept the new definition of Baby Boomer that will be presented to a dictionary publisher, but that I agree the existing definition is not reflective of the youthful attitude of our generation and should be changed.

This has got to be the single most idiotic suck-up promotion I've ever encountered.

(Hat tip to Lovely Wife)

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Women Needed to Test Orgasm Machine

No, really. An American surgeon who has patented a device that triggers an orgasm has begun a clinical trial approved by the Food and Drug Administration (news - web sites) in the United States and is looking for female volunteers.

Looking for volunteers? I would have thought he's be running from them. Dr Stuart Meloy thought that would be the case as well. more...

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These guys have their shit together a bit better than the ones I profiled yesterday. They evaluate toys for physical danger based on solid and static criteria instead of trying to quantify the "social" hazard of a gift. But they're a bit kooky too, as evidenced by these entries (emphasis mine): more...

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The Dirty Dozen list is out from The Lion & Lamb Project. These are the 12 toys that should be most avoided due to violent content. The list is predicated on the understanding that young children lack an ability to distinguish between reality and fantasy so they must be insulated from all conflict and violence. They go way too far but I can at least understand the objective here. There are a lot of violent toys targetted to kids and they are trying to raise awareness of that. The thing that groups like this continue to overlook with things like this blanket ban recommendation is that not all kids are the same and it is the responsibility of the parent/guardian to guide the individual child according to that child's development and mentality. As they consistently miss the point their message is just as consistently corrupted.

The thing that really blows me away with this group is the rationale they give for these specific toys. Let's take a gander at the most egregious ones: more...

Posted by: Jim at 10:21 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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But wait! That's not how much it costs, it's how much Joseph Tomaino (aka Rod Stiffenpants) was supposed to be awarded when he sued The Male Sexual Dysfunction Institute for giving him that 72 hour stiffy.

FREEHOLD, N.J. - A man who had to endure a three-day erection after penile surgery was awarded $3 million by a jury two years ago...

[Sigh] I used to live in Freehold. Why is it that everywhere I lived there are kooks in the news? Terrorists in Lackawana (Buffalo), Berkley is freak central, Cubs in Chicago. It's like all of the places I leave are cursed. Anyway...

...but an appeals court ordered a Monmouth County judge to lower the award.

Sanity! Thank you, appeals court! But wait, there's more.

So Superior Court Judge Alexander Lehrer did — by one penny.

Hah, hah, hah. Good one, Lehrer! I bet the appeals court was quite amused.

In a decision written this week, the appeals panel reversed the judgment and sent the case back with orders for another judge to reduce the award, citing Lehrer's "demonstrated unwillingness to comply with our instructions."

Ever been bitch slapped by the appeals court before, Alex?

The appeals court had ordered Lehrer, who presided over the trial, to cut the $3 million, saying the size of the award "shocked the court's conscience"

Shocked the hell out of my concience too. The news story gets confusing at this point as it is intimated that the 3 day flagpole wasn't the problem - the guy is impotent for life. But, didn't he go to this place because he was impotent? As far as I can figure using this lowsy reporting job, Tomaino couldn't get it up so he went for help. They fixed him enough to give his girlfriend 3 days of heaven but then he couldn't get it up again. So he sues and gets $3 million?

I hope I'm seriously misreading this.

Posted by: Jim at 11:16 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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So, some rich chick that I never heard of until last month got shagged rotten on tape. Um...who cares? I mean, come on! A rich, pampered, sex kitten with nothing except money and guys to blow had nasty sex? What are the odds? Why, this is the most shocking thing since rich, spoiled, playmate, sex kitten Pamela Anderson had nasty sex. I couldn't believe it then and I can't believe it now.

That people are making a deal out of this, that is. People have sex. Some people get off by taping themselves having sex. Rich spoiled socialites are people, just like playmates, other types of sex kittens, gardeners, average Joes with McJobs and even (arguably) Hillary Clinton. Why is it so shocking that a small percentage of these people are also stupid enough to let these tapes escape into the wild? With the number of stupid people out there it's inevitable that there will be people who belong in both the "sex taper" and "moron" groups.

Get over it already.

Posted by: Jim at 10:36 AM | Comments (17) | Add Comment
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Howard Dean campaigns in Tallahassee

Democratic presidential candidate Howard Dean told a Tallahassee audience today that southerners have to quit basing their votes on "race, guns, God and gays."

...

Dean said he hopes to reassemble a coalition of conservative southern voters like President Franklin Roosevelt had in the "solid South" 70 years ago.

Yeah, Howard. That's just the way to start turning around the polls down here in Hicksville.

Damn Yankee.

UPDATE: This just struck me as odd. Isn't Dean's platform partially based on promotion of minorities, gun control, and gay rights? Sort of a case of the pot saying "I'm a lying jackass and you should vote for me as anything else will just show that you're ignunt hicks." calling the kettle black.

UPDATE2: Sure enough, on Dean's own website we find that he has policy statements about race, guns and gays. Nothing really specific about God but there's a good bit of brimstone in the dozens of search results for 'religious'. So was Dean telling us Southerners to not consider him as a candidate then? Or just to ignore his issues?

(First heard at Day by Day, link found at Instapundit)

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Radio National

Inaugural winner of the Prime MinisterÂ’s Prize for Science Dr Jim Peacock has just (last week) become President of the Australian Academy of Science. Will he, a champion of GM technology find it difficult to deal with public concerns about uses of genetically modified crops? How will he confront the ever diminishing supply of funds for research.

I didn't even know I was eligible. So where's my plane ticket? And how did they know that I like GM cars? And what does that have to do with genetically modified crops? Wacky Aussies.

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Found at Electric Venom. Kate got it from Inoperable Terran

'Takin Two' Talk of Town

RIO RANCHO, N.M. -- A Rio Rancho teen was slapped with an in-school suspension for taking both sodas that came out of a vending machine, when he had only paid for one.

On Monday, Rio Rancho student Mason Kisner, 12, said he bought a can of pop at a school vending machine, and instead of getting one can, he received two.

Kisner said he spread the word, and other students tried to get in on the deal. A teacher who saw Kisner getting the two sodas on Monday told him not to do it again. But Kisner said the teacher saw him get another two sodas for the price of one on Tuesday.

The boy said the teacher called him a thief and accused him of trying to teach other students how to steal. He was written up, given a two-day in-school suspension and the incident will appear on his permanent school record.

First things first. Isn't this entrapment? The teacher knows that the machine is malfunctioning. Instead of disabling the machine, he/she decided to just keep an eye on it. How is this different from putting a $5 bill on your desk and hiding in the closet? He/she created a situation designed to tempt people into an act that he/she viewed as illegal.

Second things second. How exactly do you not take the second soda? None of the vending machines here in Georgia have a return slot in case an extra soda pops out. Are the machines different in New Mexico? Should he have brought the extra soda to the principal's office maybe? Does anybody believe that whatever authority figure he surrendered it to would then contact the vendor to return the can? Or that the vendor would drive on down to collect it? How many people would go out of their way to return an extra soda from a vending machine in any case? According to the poll posted with that news article a whopping 5% would do so.

Last things last. Kisner shouldn't have gone back to the machine after having been warned by the teacher. He messed up when he did. The teacher should have handled the machine problem. He/she messed up when he/she didn't. Shouldn't the teacher be subjected to a similar punishment? Suspension for a week and a permanent record statement along the lines of "contributed to the delinquency of a minor".

Posted by: Jim at 08:29 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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I've gotten a lot of mileage for ragging on Texas for these idotic policies so it's only fair to give space when it's my own adopted state that is playing moron.

Kelley spotlights the plight of Rachel Boim, who was suspended and then kicked out of her school for a story she wrote in her personal journal.

Come on, Georgians! We're supposed to be the last bastion of common sense and down home wisdom. Eliminate these zero intelligence policies and start thinking again!

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Helen's flight to the States was made miserable because she couldn't recline her seat and the person in front of her could. Broken seat? Maybe not.

WASHINGTON - Every cramped air traveler may have the right to lean his seat back, but Ira Goldman sees airplane justice from another perspective — that of the person behind — and he's found a way to even the score.

Goldman invented the Knee Defender, a beeper-sized block of plastic that lets passengers prevent the seat in front of them from reclining

The hard plastic block, which has an inch-wide groove down the middle, fits around the arm of a tray table and acts as a barrier to the seat's backward movement.

So next time your seat won't go back, go ahead and check for the Knee Defender. In the event of an emergency your seat cushion may be detached to serve as a non-lethal bludgeon.

Posted by: Jim at 09:44 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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