You know how at the end of every commercial that contains a promo there's the little speech by the guy who talks too fast to understand? So that the commercial for BRAND NEW FORD TRUCKS FIFTY-NINE DOLLARS DOWN FIFTY-NINE DOLLARS A MONTH FIVE THOUSAND MINIMUM ON YOUR TRADE-IN PUSH PULL OR DRAG IT IN BAD CREDIT NO CREDIT BANKRUPTCY WE DON'T CARE WE'LL FINANCE YOU OR MAY SATAN DRIVE A RED HOT POKER UP OUR POOP CHUTE AND LET MICHAEL MOORE TICKLE OUR BALLS might be followed with some-restrictions-may-apply-offer-not-valid-in-contiguous-forty-eight-states-alaska-hawaii-or-any-protectorate-or-territory-of-the-united-states-the-term-brand-new-describes-models-from-nineteen-twenty-or-later-the-term-fifty-nine-dollars-is-nineteen-twenty-equivalent-dollars-equaling-current-amount-of-six-hundred-fifty-nine-dollars-and-seventy-four-cents-we-are-under-no-obligation-to-finance-your-broke-ass-or-give-you-anything-for-that-piece-of-shit-you-are-driving-satan-and-michael-moore-can-both-lick-our-ballsweat or something remarkably similar.

Well last night I saw an ad for Heineken and they're giving away music, sort of how Pepsi did it recently. Code or whatever is in the box, go to Real and get a free tune. Mister Talks Too Fast mentioned something about "two free in every twelve pack" and then "no purchase necessary to win". I immediately thought "Bingo! Free beer!" Go and point out their gaff and demand some free twelve packs, right? Well as you can imagine I was sorely disappointed in that effort. I did however find out how to get the tunes without buying the beer. In retribution for so cruelly crushing my hopes I want each and every one of you to follow these instructions and get some free music. I want an Instalanche and whatever other 'lanches I can get. Spread the word, share the glory. Pay these monsters back for teasing me by getting free music and making them pay for it. Join the new revolution!

TO RECEIVE YOUR UNIQUE PIN CODE WITHOUT BEER PURCHASE (good for 2 downloads except in PA where 2 PIN codes will be supplied for a total of 4 downloads), send a self-addressed, stamped envelope and a 3x5 card with your name, complete address including zip code (no P.O. Boxes), daytime telephone number with area code and date of birth to Heineken Music Download Offer, P.O. Box 7430, Wilton, CT 06897-7430. Requests must be postmarked no later than 7/30/04 and received no later than 8/6/04. Limit one PIN code request per envelope, individual, household, family or address. Neither Sponsor nor RealNetworks are responsible for lost, illegible, incomplete, late, postage-due or misdirected mail. Please allow 2-3 weeks for delivery of PIN code without beer purchase. Delivery cannot be guaranteed unless you include a zip code. No P.O. Boxes accepted.

Attention Heineken: I'll call off the attack dogs if you send me a coupon for a free 12 pack.

Posted by: Jim at 09:32 AM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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