April 26, 2004
Jim Peacock's Drunken Night at the Movies
This disjointed stream of my consciousness courtesy of
Ilyka who's recognition of my brilliance far exceeds my own. Slightly edited for comprehensibility.
Master and Commander was decent. Russel Crowe was wasted [in the role]. Movie sucked compared to Horatio Hornblower movies.
Putting on Matrix III. Out of beer. Moving to wine.
Pray for me.
(almost wrote "prey for me". is that prophetic or what?)
Bad...very oh so bad...failing...wasn't wine...it was...PINK CHAMPAGNE!!!
Neo...want him to die so the movie will end...how much time left? Oh, Lord no!
Where is Trinity in leather?
Vinyl even?
What the fuck? Link is some sort of major character?
Oh the humanity! All the cool characters suck now! ALL OF THEM!
Even Mr.Smith!!
I cry softly into my chapagne...
More later...if possible...
My kingdom for a homicidal albino
[fade to black]
Warning to Roger Ebert: Jimmy's in the house!
Posted by: Jim at
03:01 PM
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1
Dude, if pink champange makes the Matrix 3 comprehensible, then sign me up.
Then again, I don't really want to see that film again.
So just the champagne.
Yeah...that'll do it. Just the champagne....and John Cusack.
Posted by: Helen at April 26, 2004 05:43 PM (EoCN5)
2
I think quaaludes would be required to make that movie truly comprehensible. The first one rocked. I liked the second one quite a bit. The third one...damn, I'm not sure exactly how you make a movie like that without realizing just how bad it is.
Posted by: Jim at April 27, 2004 05:47 AM (saeHM)
3
The thing I loved about this was that if word-of-mouth is any indication, you could've been three times as drunk and this review would still have made more sense than Matrix III.
I got the heebie-jeebies about II and didn't see that either--I think I can blame that one on Lileks if I recall correctly--so if I'm ever to play catch up with the trilogy I'll need an entire weekend now.
And no Trinity in leather? That's just wrong.
Posted by: ilyka at April 27, 2004 06:24 AM (jiolJ)
4
There were only 2 or three scenes of her in the Matrix period. For the rest of the movie whe was in ships wearing ripped up cotton. Now I know that the cotton industry is pushing big time but that's no excuse for putting trinity into non-skintight clothing.
Posted by: Jim at April 27, 2004 11:35 AM (IOwam)
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