about a simple little thing that made a huge difference in her life.
I've got a similar story. After the worst breakup of my life I was in very sorry shape. I won't get into the gory details but it was so bad that Captain Responsibility (that's me) lost his license for driving drunk during this period. I started replacing food with alcohol and things were deteriorating rapidly. Get up in the morning, have a beer, go to work, come home, drink until sleep comes. Basically just plodding on though a semblance of my former life through inertia and not having any clue what else to do.
One day after work I flipped on the radio, grabbed a beer and sat down to start drinking. The song that was playing was "No woman no cry" by Bob Marley, a song I'd heard many, many times before but never really listened to. This time I heard it and listened to the lyrics, the drum, Bob's voice. I got it. Bob was telling me "Everything's gonna be alright". I dug through my CD's, got out Legend and played that song in a loop the rest of the night.
And I stopped drinking like an ass. I finished that open beer of course, I'm an alconomist after all. But I ordered a pizza for dinner instead of finishing off the case. I still remember that pizza, it was the fucking best tasting pizza I'd ever had in my life. First actual food I'd eaten in I don't know how long.
And I called my Mom. I basically hadn't spoken with anybody in weeks. They'd called but I'm an expert in avoidance. I also have a black belt in not-being-part-of-the-conversation-when-you-think-we-are-conversing-itsu. I hadn't spoken with Mom in even longer. I love her like you wouldn't believe but she's a nut and can be very trying to speak with. I'd been avoiding her for a while.
I called a bunch of other people too. My best friend E, who had been trying to get me out of the house for weeks. Made dinner arangements for later in the week with him. I called Doppel-G (he was down in Georgia by this time). I think he knew something wierd was going on but he didn't press, just talked about everyday stuff for a while. I think I even tried to call Lil Bro but I can't remember for sure.
After that night I put my life back together. Very quickly I might add so I guess I had caught it in time before I hit the big cusp. Basically all I had to do was get back into civilization, turn on the afterburners at work for a while to catch up and (most importantly) stop getting drunk every night.
Now whenever I hear that song and it gets to the "Everything's gonna be alright" part I get a tickle in the back of my throat, my eyes water and I have to fight hard not to cry. And sometimes, when I need it, I play that song and I don't fight the tears.
1
See, you and Helen write this sort of thing beautifully, but it's like the one* kind of post I simply cannot do because I'm a repressed, bitter, cynical person. What a good thing the world's not full of Ilyka-clones. You guys rule.
* one, thirty, what's the difference?
Posted by: ilyka at November 14, 2003 07:03 AM (9UvaM)
2
I could think of worse things than a world full of Ilyka clones. Just give me a minute. ;-)
Posted by: Jim at November 14, 2003 07:31 AM (fkewd)
3
One of the songs that does that for me is "Overjoyed" by Stevie Wonder.
I did very much the same thing about a year and a half ago. My boyfriend of two years retired from the Air Force and left. Just LEFT. I was devastated. I was in such a hole, I was taking antidepressants with beer chasers.
I listened to a LOT of different songs during that time -- the biggest hole this ray of sunshine had ever been in -- and this song rotated through the stereo (100 CD changer. heh.)
"And though the odds say improbable
What do they know
For in romance
All true love needs is a chance
And maybe with a chance you will find
You too like I
Overjoyed, over loved, over you, over you"
And whatta ya know? He came to his senses and I'm about to celebrate our first anniversary on the 29th of this month.
Those lyrics still makes me all misty n' shit.
Heh.
Posted by: margi at November 14, 2003 08:14 AM (4jrV0)
4
Just give me a minute.
Excluding the obvious candidates (a world full of Hitler clones, etc.), I think even at my lowest points I could grant that a world full of George Michael clones would almost certainly be worse.
So Margi likes "Overjoyed" . . . that is a good one. I'm partial to "Ribbon in the Sky," myself. I hear it's popular at weddings, which is normally synonymous to me with "dreadful," but I don't know, it's just sort of simple and beautiful, and not corny like "I Just Called to Say I Love You."
Posted by: ilyka at November 14, 2003 08:37 AM (9UvaM)
5
Funnily enough, Ilyka, I threw a shoe (or glass, or clothing, something) in the general direction of the stereo when it came on. I was not in the mood for birds chirping and "la la love" songs at that moment. (Go figure.) It was the lyrics of the song that got me the most.
(P.S. I was listening to Joydrop's "Spiders" with more frequency at that time. Heh. I have very -- um -- eclectic musical tastes. If you want any of those songs I've mentioned, just let me know. I share.)
Posted by: margi at November 14, 2003 08:43 AM (4jrV0)
6
Actually it only took me a fraction of a second, Ilyka. Right when I typed the period to that sentence the name "Michael Moore" screamed into my forebrain.
Posted by: Jim at November 14, 2003 08:50 AM (IOwam)
7
Thanks for the props, guys. I am touched, and actually honored that I got comments from all 3 of you.
Truthfull, anyone can write like me, all you need is:
1) repression
2) strange fuckwittage happening in your life
3) the ability to attract every loser within a 3 mile radius-and then date them
4) move to a foreign country
And presto! You get beautiful writing.
You know, I knew Ilyka and I had a lot in common when she mentioned she duct-taped her man's brake lights. Me? I change the summer tires to the winter tires on both cars.
That's why I linked her
Now waiting for Margi to hook me up....ooh...
Posted by: Helen at November 14, 2003 10:01 AM (ADrg6)
8
Damn, that story hits close to home. I'm right where you were, right now. I hope I find my song soon.
Posted by: rick at November 17, 2003 02:24 PM (oA/Vb)
9
Good luck, Rick. It's out there, and closer than you think.
(And you can borrow mine for a while if it'll help.)
Posted by: Jim at November 18, 2003 04:07 AM (fkewd)
10
No, woman, no cry;
No, woman, no cry;
No, woman, no cry;
No, woman, no cry.
Said - said - said: I remember when we used to sit
In the government yard in trenchtown,
Oba - obaserving the Â’ypocrites
As they would mingle with the good people we meet.
Good friends we have, oh, good friends weÂ’ve lost
Along the way.
In this great future, you canÂ’t forget your past;
So dry your tears, I seh.
No, woman, no cry;
No, woman, no cry.
Â’ere, little darlinÂ’, donÂ’t shed no tears:
No, woman, no cry.
Said - said - said: I remember when-a we used to sit
In the government yard in trenchtown.
And then georgie would make the fire lights,
As it was logwood burninÂ’ through the nights.
Then we would cook cornmeal porridge,
Of which IÂ’ll share with you;
My feet is my only carriage,
So IÂ’ve got to push on through.
But while IÂ’m gone, I mean:
EverythingÂ’s gonna be all right!
EverythingÂ’s gonna be all right!
EverythingÂ’s gonna be all right!
EverythingÂ’s gonna be all right!
I said, everythingÂ’s gonna be all right-a!
EverythingÂ’s gonna be all right!
EverythingÂ’s gonna be all right, now!
EverythingÂ’s gonna be all right!
So, woman, no cry;
No - no, woman - woman, no cry.
Woman, little sister, donÂ’t shed no tears;
No, woman, no cry.
I remember when we used to sit
In the government yard in trenchtown.
And then georgie would make the fire lights,
As it was logwood burninÂ’ through the nights.
Then we would cook cornmeal porridge,
Of which IÂ’ll share with you;
My feet is my only carriage,
So IÂ’ve got to push on through.
But while IÂ’m gone:
No, woman, no cry;
No, woman, no cry.
Woman, little darlinÂ’, say donÂ’t shed no tears;
No, woman, no cry.
Eh! (little darlinÂ’, donÂ’t shed no tears!
No, woman, no cry.
Little sister, donÂ’t shed no tears!
No, woman, no cry.)
Posted by: Achilles at December 06, 2004 04:36 AM (F931L)
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