I've been angry lately. Moody. Pissed at stupid little things. My temper seems to grow a hairsbreadth shorter each day and I don't see when i'm losing it until it's lost. The other day after dinner I took the boys upstairs to clean the playroom. They did their usual "Don't wanna" routine and instead of teasing and joking and making it a fun thing like I normally do I yelled at them to clean up. I was like a boot camp drill instructor.
This morning I was writing a note to somebody. Can't tell you much about it yet except that he's one hell of a guy and the note I was writing got way more patriotic and emotional than I first intended. I just started crying. Like a baby. Tears are still coursing down my face right now and I can't stop them.
I'm pretty sure that I know what is screwing with my head so much lately. I am so fucking furious that I'm losing my grip. Every day I read about another atrocity committed by my own countrymen simply to promote their twisted agenda. In the past week I've seen a woman openly speculate that one of the men murdered, burned and paraded around Falluja might have been a nazi. Not that she had any proof or anything but simply because it suited her agenda to vilify a murdered American. I saw the woman who pointed out that perfidity attacked simply for saying "Hey, it's wrong to do that". I read a story of a small group of American soldiers who barely escaped a compound with their lives. They made a courageous 20 hour stand against completely overwhelming forces while protecting assets and non-combatants. A true act of unmitigated courage and dedication. But I cannot find this story on any news site. I can't find any story like it on any news site. I read about a student in Savannah who was suspended from school. A gang of kids invaded his school and attacked him in the cafeteria and he committed the crime of defending himself. Zero Tolerance to violence means you are not allowed to be a victim either.
And it's not just those stories. Those are just the snowflakes on the tip of the iceberg. It's all around. Every day. It doesn't stop. Ever.
I just want to stand up in the middle of a crowd and scream out "Can't you morons get a fucking clue? Can't you just use some common sense? Can't you stifle your fucking private agenda long enough to remember what being a human fucking being was like?"
And I think "Oh, God dammit, how am I going to protect my kids from these people?"
And I start crying again.
1
I'm feeling ya, Jim. I have no answers, babe; but when *I feel like that, I take a break from 24-7 all news all the time and hug my boys. My husband. Feel the calming simplicity of a purring kitten on my lap.
It only FEELS pointless.
(hug) You know where I am if you need me.
Posted by: Emma at April 10, 2004 08:07 AM (kpNlZ)
2
What's wrong with you? You're suffering from a complaint known as well-adjustment ... in short you have enough common sense to know right from wrong and enough humanity to find little joy in the world today.
There is no cure I'm afraid, but the symptons can be suppressed by taking a moment, counting your blessings and making a promise that, no matter what the obstacles, your kids will grow up to share your sense of decency, your commendable moral outlook and your obvious intelligence... but with a little luck the cow sucking thing will skip a generation
Now quit sniffling and get on with it.
Posted by: Rob at April 10, 2004 08:17 AM (BWDMP)
3
Yeah, these people have really been getting on my nerves lately. Some days I want to scream "STOP THAT YOU IDIOTS!" and other days I just want to bang heads together.
Since I can't really do either on a sufficiently large scale, I'm devoting my efforts to MuNu as a bastion of reason and civility... And corny jokes, of course.
Posted by: Pixy Misa at April 10, 2004 09:09 AM (+S1Ft)
4
http://www.subservientchicken.com/
This is what you need
Posted by: sid at April 10, 2004 09:27 AM (6P7Tz)
5
Protect your kids from these people? Say rather, "How am I going to
prevent my kids from
becoming these people?"
There's a massive campaign in progress to transform every young person in America into "these people." It starts even before they enter school, though the schools are the worst and most visible link in the chain. It destroys the rational faculty and implants undeserved guilt so deep in the psyche that the price of questioning it is a nervous breakdown.
The surge in conservative student organizations on college campuses is a hopeful sign, but you'll note how ruthlessly the powers that be work to swat them down. The Left's orthodoxy is totalitarian; it's a church outside whose walls there can be no salvation.
We near a crisis point. How matters will fall out cannot be predicted. Remain vigilant.
Posted by: Francis W. Porretto at April 10, 2004 11:44 AM (MzH7h)
6
The nicotine made you do it. As its final revenge for being forced out of your body, it's making you a bear around loved (and unloved) ones. I take my revenge out on a holly bush that keeps growing back in the front yard.
*hugs*
Posted by: Tiffany at April 10, 2004 01:31 PM (rDyup)
7
I've been wanting to write a post for weeks titled, "It's the Hate, Stupid." But every time I try to I get all worked up as you describe here and I can't word it clearly.
Posted by: ilyka at April 10, 2004 02:23 PM (F5mfc)
8
[hands Jim a beer and clinks own bottle against it]
Just keep being the example. Your kids will be fine.
Posted by: Harvey at April 10, 2004 07:51 PM (ubhj8)
9
A very wise person left this in my comments the other day.
"There are times when I just want to delete my browser and ignore the world."
- Pixy Misa
Posted by: Stephen Macklin at April 10, 2004 11:05 PM (4819r)
10
Thank you all for your comments and wishes. I took Emma's advice right off this morning and spent the day throwing sticks into a lake for the dog to fetch or laughing at the boys making a mud machine (because there's not enough mud down by the lake, you know). The only thing I figured out today was how to finagle the leashes so Nicky (our original dog, who will take off for a day if ever the leash is slipped) could run around a bit.
I'm feeling much better. Tomorrow will be another non-thought family catharctic day. I'll be back Monday to carry on the battle for reason. ;-)
Posted by: Jim at April 11, 2004 12:08 AM (saeHM)
11
These backwards days: black is white, day is night, wrong is right.
No kidding, take a walk by yourself through a cemetary, read the stones. It puts the insanity in perspective.
It's all over in a blink.
Posted by: M!ke at April 11, 2004 02:37 AM (1lM+b)
12
Whenever I read letters from soldiers in Iraq, my fears are usually placated. The soldiers understand their mission and they have done an excellent job of finding and eliminating the bad guys. Perhaps that is another reason why Iraq is not another Vietnam. The politicians have learned to leave the soldiering to the soldiers. That we never get the story straight over here is of little consequence.
And in a nutshell, thatÂ’s how I deal with all the moron news. I look for the sliver of truth that hides in it and I pray that the other rational, intelligent people hear and see it too. And I sometimes totally ignore the news too knowing that itÂ’s only gonna piss me off. :-)
And Francis has a point. The three people you need to worry about are at home. Do the right thing there, and you have done the right thing for society.
Posted by: Clancy at April 11, 2004 09:57 AM (lgXbK)
13
I was beginning to think it was just me - and that sucks ass because I am usually the last bastion of reason around my neighborhood. My normal routine is to watch the news while I get ready for work each day. I can no longer tolerate that without turning into a raving lunatic. Lately, I find myself cursing while I drive, bursting into tears at the least little frustration, and wishing bedtime was earlier and earlier so I could just block it all out. I'm beginning to think I need a very long vacation.
On a positive note, I've thus far managed to keep my kids (one of whom graduates next year) from turning into communists/looters by pointing out the absurdity of every last idiot on the left. Verbal Fisking. That's the ticket. And constant hugs don't hurt either.
Keep on keepin' on.
Posted by: Suzanne at April 11, 2004 12:55 PM (DZQ0I)
14
Well good to know that you tell me those things and I don't have to go onto a fucking weblog on monday mornings to read about it.
Or wait...its probably not for real again,right?
Posted by: NSLWRN at April 12, 2004 07:55 AM (saeHM)
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