We got some pretty terrible news yesterday. My dad was put in the hospital for a collapsed lung. More properly known as Spontaneous Pneumothorax, this is one of the recurring side effects of emphysema.

Emphysema destroys the elasticity of the lung walls and structures. The alvioli become rigid and weak and trap air instead of transferring it. Eventually an air sac will rupture allowing air to collect in the chest cavity and collapsing the lung. Treating pneumothorax involves cutting open the chest wall and sticking a tube inside. This lets the air escape and the lung will typically reinflate within a few days.

It is not a pleasant sensation.

Mom had a couple of ectomies to treat her cancer. Her sister (my auntie) is in her third or fourth remission after some seriously rude treatment. Grams and Nana both had emphysema. Lung cancer killed Dad's sister. Everybody smoked.

I guess it's time to wake up and smell the nicotine.

Posted by: Jim at 10:31 AM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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Hold onto your hearts ladies as you take a gander at these three hotties.

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This is the year for me meeting bloggers. Last year I met one fellow blogger - Trey Givens. That worked out so well you'd have thought I'd have been jumping in front of cars just to meet some more. Or just for the adrenaline rush. Things didn't turn out that way though. Most of my online friends live far, far away and it turns out my insurance has a problem with the whole jumping in front of cars thing.

This year is turning out very different.

I've already met Elizabeth and Clancy and had a blast with them. In just a couple of weeks I'll be in the presence of blog queen Margi. This summer we'll be barbequing with Boudicca and her three boys (And sister? She's invited too, Bou.) Later this year I'm hoping very much to be able to get together with Simon, RP and my very favoritest blogstress in the world Helen.

And all of this without attending a blogmeet. How's that for awesome?

Posted by: Jim at 08:21 AM | Comments (8) | Add Comment
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1 Interesting.

Posted by: pylorns at April 29, 2005 08:41 AM (FTYER)

2 I've always wondered about meeting people from the interent, because you work this mental sketch up based on what you read on the internet in their sites. It's always interesting to see how close your creative impression is to the real thing.

Posted by: shank at April 29, 2005 09:19 AM (+H1yK)

3 It is gonna be big fun!

Posted by: RP at April 29, 2005 09:47 AM (LlPKh)

4 Disturbing.

Posted by: LW at April 29, 2005 10:00 AM (MDLz3)

5 I'm excited! I've told my sister about it. It's just a matter of seeing if the lunatics have taken over her asylum or if she can really break away from the lead crazy lady. No, I'm not talking about myself...

Posted by: Boudicca at April 29, 2005 11:21 PM (z7nbM)

6 Tell me when Simon is coming and I'll be there with handfuls of German chocolates. If you want, that is. If Simon wants too, for that matter. And if you manage to drag RP down there as well.

Posted by: Helen at April 30, 2005 02:59 AM (P/pwA)

7 Well *I'm* excited!

Posted by: Margi at April 30, 2005 03:22 PM (lWAiX)

8 BTW, thanks to Shank, I'm now worried I'll not dissappoint. . . *sob*

Posted by: Margi at April 30, 2005 03:23 PM (lWAiX)

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April 26, 2005

Gwinnett County
Board of Assessors
75 Langley Drive
Lawrenceville, GA 30045

Re: Appeal of Gwinnett County Board of Assessors Property Reassessment

Dear Sir or Madam:

I received a "Notice to Taxpayer" regarding the appraised value of my home. This notice shows that you have reappraised my home at [$Governor's Mansion] compared to the prior year value of [$Single Family Ranch]. While I would certainly love to have a home that raises in value this quickly my unfortunate reality is that my home has not increased in value by 16% since the time I purchased it less than a year ago.

If an actual inspection to assess my property were to reveal this startling increase in value I would be more than happy to sell it and realize a tidy return on my one year investment. Judging by the house on the next lot that has remained unsold for over two years as well as the frequent utility outages in the neighborhood I fear that my dreams of a quick profit are for naught.

Please accept this letter as my official appeal of the County assessed value of my property. I apologize for any irregularity in my missive but the phone number provided in the Notice has been constantly busy since I first received it so I have been unable to verify exactly what is needed in this letter. Perhaps other taxpayers are taking exception to their own reassessed values?

Sincerely,

James R Peacock

Posted by: Jim at 10:33 AM | Comments (17) | Add Comment
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In three weeks the Peacock Clan (Atlanta Division) will be traipsing off to Spokane, Washington to attend my Lil' Bro's wedding. We've (by "we" I mean "Lovely Wife") been preparing for the festivities, including buying clothes to wear for the ceremony. Well, no clothes for me as I've got my Fabulous Interview Suit(tm) but outfits for the three boys and Lovely Wife. This shopping was completed just this past weekend.

Yesterday my Lovely Wife IM'd me that she was thinking of bringing back her skirt and shoes. She's got an old skirt and old shoes that could still be serviceable and she really, really wanted to pick up Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events on it's Tuesday release.

Let me rephrase that: I am married to a woman who would rather have a Jim Carrey movie than a new skirt and shoes.

So I ask you again: Am I the luckiest guy in the world, or what?

Postscript: I surprised her with the movie last night for a birthday present so don't y'all worry about her taking those shoes back.

Posted by: Jim at 09:37 AM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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1 You're defiantly one lucky rascal. My wife would sell one of my kidneys for a new outfit. Given the choice between the two above, sheÂ’d take both.

Posted by: phin at April 27, 2005 11:31 AM (Xvpen)

2 I just don't see the use for nice clothes and all that fuss.I am home all day,so what do I need?A nasty old shirt and some shorts (actually we usually wear jammies all day).When I go out?Sneakers and jeans always work. So I chose entertainment which lasts longer than that stupid new outfit I will wear EXACTLY ONCE for a darn wedding......grrrrr.......what a WASTE of money!LOL But given the choice to sell the kids.....that actually sounds sort of tempting.If I don;t have kids I would actually be able to stay clean in that new outfit...hmmmmmmmm

Posted by: LW at April 27, 2005 01:03 PM (MDLz3)

3 You are a very lucky man, I am not detracting from that... however, my hubster is married to a woman that would rather spend money on a new computer game for him than clothes for herself. Let's be honest here - I hate shopping for clothes because it is far too depressing. A good First person shooter can cheer me up for many a day.

Posted by: ethne at April 27, 2005 02:09 PM (miAG4)

4 Jim...i kinda think MY husband would agree that you are, indeed, quite the lucky man. Not only would i buy the skirt, the shoes, matching purse and coordinating lipstick, I would buy the movie as well. *siiigh* I suck. (but I look quite fetching doing it!) ;-)

Posted by: Pam at April 27, 2005 10:10 PM (hNXz0)

5 That is wonderful. Your mutual bliss is obvious.

Posted by: Michele at April 28, 2005 11:24 AM (ht2RK)

6 I once used funds set aside for a new outfit to get the GM1 a subscription to Maxim. I think I pretty much ensured my tenure with that one. Oh, and I promised him if I ever meet Angelina Jolie he can have seconds.

Posted by: LeeAnn at April 28, 2005 12:29 PM (vqSdN)

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The good news is my inbox is down to 19 items.

The bad news is that 14 of them are flagged for follow-ups. Yuck.

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The Good: I had a conference call about the project I went to Denver for. At the end of the call I received kudos from two Senior VPs and the Product Owner. It's a good thing I don't normally wear a hat because there's no way it would fit right now.

The Bad: Remember The History of Sales and Technology? A meeting earlier today took that it one step further.

Cave Salesman: And by the way, we'll need that club perfectly balanced.

Cave Techguy: Perfect balance? You're talking about technology we don't even have yet!

Cave Salesman: What's so hard about balancing a club?

Cave Techguy: Well to get perfect balance on a club I'm going to have to invent the lathe and to get a lathe I have to invent gears and to get gears I have to invent the freaking wheel. You're talking about technology that we are three generations away from!

Cave Salesman: Okay, as long as I get the club by Tuesday.

The Ugly: My email inbox is bloated like Michael Moore at an all you can eat Twinkiefest.

Posted by: Jim at 02:08 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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Yesterday's meeting in Denver was a Technology support effort for a current partnership arranged by Sales and Marketing. Our initiative is to exploit utilize our partner's services while they do the same with ours. This meeting was about them using our technology.

Did I mention that this business relationship was built by Sales and Marketing?

As in, the only knowledge of our products and services was from salesmen.

It was an interesting meeting and it brought to mind an ancient anecdote about The History of Sales and Technology.

Cave Salesman: Hey, what's the deliverable on one of those new clubs?

Cave Techguy: Two weeks for the standard model. Three to five for customized models.

Cave Salesman: Two weeks?! No way. It's only a club.

Cave Techguy: It's only a club? Look, I've got to locate an appropriate tree, chop it down, cut off an appropriate limb, shape it, fire harden it...

Cave Salesman: Well I already sold it and delivery is next Tuesday.

Cave Techguy: I told you - it takes at least two weeks!

Cave Salesman: I don't see why. It's only a club.

Things worked out well once we clarified a bit of what we can and can't do.

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When we took our walk through Millenium Park in Chicago we saw one of Chicago's finest. On a Segway. With a bright orange reflective safety vest, like the crossing guards wear.

You pretty much lose all of your Cool Cop points if you are on a Segway.

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I got an email this morning from somebody who says they want to buy snoozebuttondreams.com.

As.

If.

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I just noticed that there are a handful of Dove chocolate eggs in my inbox. I dumped them when I was packing up my laptop case for my trip and forgot all about them.

It's like Easter has come eleven and a half months early!

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The number of statue types you must find in order to get to the good parking near Millenium Park in Chicago. To be specific:

Gargoyles!

Indians!

Lions!

(Parents will no doubt be hearing either "We did it!" or "I'm the map!" in their heads right now. This is normal and you should not be concerned.)

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That's how many blog posts are sitting in my aggregator.

What? Did you all save up a week's worth of posting for Monday and Tuesday while I'd be gone?

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My meetings went very well. This is surprising as hell. You see, normally a meeting that has more than four people is useful only for brainstorming. Once you hit the magic number it's just about impossible to get actual constructive work done. Monday's meeting had 7 people and we actually did everything that we had to do. Admittedly it got a bit flighty toward the end when everybody was starting to burn out but overall it was an exceptionally well behaved crowd. Sunday's meeting was with project people instead of product people and we didn't get anything done except some brainstorming. This was okay though as the purpose of the meeting was to actually meet each other (my division is spread all over the States) and do some brainstorming.

More importantly, I met up with Elizabeth and Clancy. Elizabeth is a beanie (or "Chicagonian" if you prefer) and Clancy happened to be up there on his own business trip. We went out Monday and had a great time. Elizabeth is like a professional tour guide and showed us all around the fancy and touristy parts of downtown. A free tour was pretty cool because if I took a regular one I wouldn't have been able to expense it. Here are some of the tour highlights. Incidentally, I forgot to bring the camera so I don't have any pictures to post. Instead, I've just made helpful links for each of them: more...

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1 Chicago sounds like a miniature Scotland. They fry Mars bars in Scotland. Pizzas, too. In fact, soon I think they will be frying their cigarettes before they light up. And I am sooooooooooo envious you met Elizabeth and Clancy. I want to meet all three of you

Posted by: Helen at April 13, 2005 03:19 PM (Oxw5k)

2 I got some cheesy pictures with my little Palm Pilot - when I get home (I'm still in the windy city) I'll post whatever looks half decent. I got a stealth picture of Elizabeth & Jim too to prove I was there (which I won't post as long as Elizabeth sends a certain undisclosed sum of money).

Posted by: Clancy at April 13, 2005 05:41 PM (LQ62t)

3 Who knew you could fry ravioli. Next you'll tell me it isn't Italian.

Posted by: Simon at April 14, 2005 06:05 AM (OyeEA)

4 Living in the Chicago area all my life I've learned two major facts when going to Chicago. 1) The people from Chicago drive like maniacs. The rules of the road apparently don't apply to them and they get pissy if you try to apply said rules to them. IE like expecting not to be pushed out of your lane because you where there first. 2)Enter any cab at your own risk. These guys don't know defensive driving, they are all offense all the time.

Posted by: Contagion at April 14, 2005 09:00 AM (Q5WxB)

5 Glad you had a good time! When are you taking your show to NY?

Posted by: RP at April 14, 2005 03:43 PM (LlPKh)

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Self-serve kiosks to check in and get your boarding pass are an excellent idea. Just swipe a credit card for ID, confirm your flight, take your boarding pass. Very fast and efficient. I even got an earlier stand-by flight on my return trip via kiosk.

Self-serve kiosks at Burger-King are a very bad idea. There are too many options, they're laid out badly and it takes far too long to just place a simple order.

Actually, those might work if Burger-King implemented a stupid people line.

Posted by: Jim at 12:54 PM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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Getting through security at the Atlanta airport is fast. They keep people moving by using a clever implementation of the 80/20 rule. In the case of airport security the rule says 80% of the people will do things correctly and 20% will be stupid. They identify those 20 percenters and send them to the dedicated stupid people line.

Security Guard: Identification and boarding pass, please.

80 percenter: Here you are.

Security Guard: Thank you. Please proceed to that line over there that is moving incredibly quickly.

[Next traveler approaches]

Security Guard: Identification and boarding pass, please.

20 percenter: Oh, right. I've got those somewhere. Just hold on a sec... Wait... Ah, here it is!

Security Guard: That's your boarding pass, ma'am. I'll also need to see photo identification.

20 percenter: Oh! You already said that, didn't you? I'm so sorry. I've got that in my wallet... In my purse... In my carry-on bag... Here it is! Aren't you proud of me?

Security Guard: Please proceed to the stupid people line. Enjoy your flight. If you manage to find the gate.

20 percenter: Thank you!

The system works very well.

Incidentally, Hartsfield-Jackson (Atlanta) kicks O'Hare (Chicago) ass all up and down the runway. In Atlanta I had wireless available and a power plug to use. In Chicago - nada.

Posted by: Jim at 11:21 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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I have inherited nine folders of legacy documentation for The Big Project. Actual folders full of paper. I feel like I just stepped backward a decade.

I should be forgiving though - many of the documents actually are from a decade ago. Still, the vast majority of them are printouts so why the paper?

I could probably bring myself to forgive the presence of this pile of dead tree sheets except for one thing. The folders are pink. No, not "rose" or that very light pastel pink. These are PINK. Flaming pink, you might say. I've already had one coworker walk by my desk, pause, and say "Damn, those are really pink".

Now I've got to get a lock for my filing cabinet.

And a filing cabinet.

Posted by: Jim at 02:54 PM | Comments (11) | Add Comment
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1 or you could get some markers and color on them

Posted by: caltechgirl at April 06, 2005 06:14 PM (iCaDI)

2 What, no gay comments from the co-workers yet? If I saw those folders the gay jokes would have been flying.

Posted by: Machelle at April 06, 2005 07:35 PM (AEdLe)

3 Isn't "Sink the Pink" from an AC/DC song? Finally! Stealth points!

Posted by: Victor at April 07, 2005 08:35 AM (L3qPK)

4 You got it!! Sink the pink, it's all the fashion Drink the drink, it's old-fashioned Gimme water, gimme wine Gonna show you a good time Sink the pink Sink the pink

Posted by: Jim at April 07, 2005 08:45 AM (tyQ8y)

5 Machelle - I think I've successfully pre-empted those. I put up a sign that says "If you say anything faggish about my folders I'm filing a sexual harassment complaint."

Posted by: Jim at April 07, 2005 08:46 AM (tyQ8y)

6 I never get those.

Posted by: pylorns at April 07, 2005 08:47 AM (FTYER)

7 Yay!

Posted by: Victor at April 07, 2005 08:52 AM (L3qPK)

8 Yay to Victor - I so totally saw that yesterday but my stressed out mind totally forgot about the stealth points... So, enjoy your vistory, Victor. 'Cause it'll be the last one!! :-)

Posted by: Clancy at April 07, 2005 10:45 AM (JxYJc)

9 Bite me, Clancy.

Posted by: Victor at April 07, 2005 11:13 AM (L3qPK)

10 What kind of pastel pink? As in Barbie, or labia? (Now how many times can one ue that word in conversation, eh?)

Posted by: Helen at April 07, 2005 11:59 AM (Oxw5k)

11 I could live with labia pink but what I've got is Malibu Barbi pink. (Not nearly enough. ;-)

Posted by: Jim at April 07, 2005 03:16 PM (tyQ8y)

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As I parked the car last night the song playing on the radio was "Soak up the Sun" by Sheryl Crow. Weirdly enough it was the first song on the radio when I started up the car this morning.

I like listening to Sheryl Crow. She's got a voice that is pleasing to the ear. The problem I have is when I listen to the actual words of Sheryl Crow songs they have a tendency to piss me off. This is mostly because she's one of those au natural dirty hippies and her songs tend to reflect that fact.

Anyway, I tried very hard not to listen to the words of "Soak up the Sun" this morning because it's an enjoyable song and it was pleasing to hear Sheryl singing to me in the early morning hours. Unfortunately I couldn't help hearing this lyric:

It's not having what you want

It's wanting what you've got

Dammit, no! Sheryl, not even you can possibly believe that little bit of tree hugging wisdom. Yes it's a sweet sentiment. Sure, it would look great on a Tender Moments card or plastered to the back of a flower patterned VW bus. But please! That's about the least true truism ever spouted by a hippie rocker.

If this was true - that it's not about having what you want - then Sheryl would still be a nobody stoner folk singer playing on open mike night 'for the love of her music'. She wanted a bigger audience. She wanted better equipment. She wanted her own band. She wanted to make shitloads of money. And she achieved these things because it IS about having what you want.

I can't imagine what my life would be like if I had been raised to just be happy with what I had. Can you imagine? I wouldn't be married. Wedding my Lovely Wife was something I didn't have that I wanted. I wouldn't have kids - they were also things I didn't have and that I wanted. I wouldn't have a house. Wouldn't have a car. Wouldn't have a job.

What a sucky life I'd be living if it was all about just wanting the things I already had.

Complacency is spiritual death. Living is about pursuing your desires. Sheryl knows this, it's just too bad she doesn't sing it.

Posted by: Jim at 01:53 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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I think it is...let's see, England is 5 hours off, right? That means it's also 19 hours off the other way. So if we ignore the spin of the earth, carry the 3, multiply by the average airspeed of an unladed swallow, divide by Ted Kennedy's liver...and we get... close enough to tomorrow for today to be April 1!*

Happy Birthday, Helen!

Your present is in the extended entry.

* Cold medication, after several days of heavy abuse, may cause loss of critical function and time disorientation. more...

Posted by: Jim at 09:15 AM | Comments (10) | Add Comment
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1 Yes, but what *type* of swallow?

Posted by: Kenny at March 31, 2005 11:50 AM (sVrPB)

2 My favorite is a split tail.

Posted by: Jim at March 31, 2005 11:52 AM (tyQ8y)

3 the average airspeed of an unladed swallow Too easy, but just in case they *are* stealth points--Monty Python and the Holy Grail. And it's "unladen" but I'm sure that's just a typo.

Posted by: Victor at March 31, 2005 01:59 PM (L3qPK)

4 Oh, yes. Definitely too easy. We can pretty much permanently exclude any Monty Python from the stealth points - it's just too prevalent in geek vernacular.

Posted by: Jim at March 31, 2005 02:38 PM (tyQ8y)

5 I gathered as much, but it didn't hurt to try.

Posted by: Victor at March 31, 2005 03:20 PM (L3qPK)

6 I LOVE MY PRESENT!! Thank you darlin'. Thank you so much. That's the nicest thing you've ever done for me (excepting for beating up that kid who stole my lunch money after school that day. Now that was a big one.) As for swallows...well, my favorite one is very different to the one you boys chose. Much more soothing to the soul.

Posted by: Helen at March 31, 2005 04:29 PM (1i2pB)

7 whoa, thats a hellova present.!

Posted by: pylorns@wetwired.org at March 31, 2005 07:34 PM (xDzgY)

8 Ok, yesterday was MY birthday....where's mine?!?!?!?!?!?!? LOL

Posted by: Mitzi Moore at April 01, 2005 06:25 AM (T3oAt)

9 Happy birtday, Mitzi! But before I can .net you, you've got to get a weblog. Silly Mitzi.

Posted by: Jim at April 01, 2005 08:50 AM (tyQ8y)

10 Before I can get a weblog, I would have to have a life...Silly Jim...lol

Posted by: Mitzi Moore at April 02, 2005 10:10 PM (oMzS4)

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