Lovely Wife sent me this article that details the long-awaited suppression of a violent and incredibly dangerous "game" in a Massachusetts elementary school.

Tag, you're out! Officials at an elementary school south of Boston have banned kids from playing tag, touch football and any other unsupervised chase game during recess for fear they'll get hurt and hold the school liable.

Recess is "a time when accidents can happen," said Willett Elementary School Principal Gaylene Heppe, who approved the ban.

It's about time! Most people don't realize just how dangerous "tag" really is. More kids die each year from tag-related injuries than hopscotch and tiddlywinks combined!

In addition to the physical dangers, "tag" has massive potential to cause emotional trauma. Being "it" is not a good thing in this so called game. The "it" kid is a social pariah - somebody to be avoided at all costs, even to the extent of running away and screaming if they approach. Shirley Maclaine and Oprah, among tens of others, have described the buried tag-related anxieties and fears they relived under regression therapy.

The third facet in this playground axis of evil is the touching. Little kids, forced by peer pressure, to touch and be touched. It's a well known fact that "tag" is a gateway game to other touching games like "doctor".

Thanks the stars that there are principled and honorable administrators like Gaylene Heppe who are willing to put it all on the line to protect our kids.

Posted by: Jim at 12:03 PM | Comments (9) | Add Comment
Post contains 258 words, total size 2 kb.

1 Two words: PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY

Posted by: Moodie at October 19, 2006 12:15 PM (mev7n)

2 I figure the next thing to go are pencils. Those things are deadly! And do you realize how much damage a modern textbook could do? Those have got to go.

Posted by: Jim at October 19, 2006 12:24 PM (tyQ8y)

3 I think they should ban "Duck, Duck, Goose" too. That was one evil game...to this day, I cry like a girl whenever the geese fly over the house.

Posted by: Howard at October 19, 2006 03:36 PM (u2JaN)

4 How 'bout putting these wussy school administrators in a giant game of dodgeball? With baseballs. Thrown by 17 year olds. Oh yeah, they have to stay in as long as they are conscious.

Posted by: diamond dave at October 19, 2006 03:47 PM (1pMZq)

5 When I was a kid you could do anything on the playground. Some of those dodgeball games? Throwing as hard as possible right into people's faces, glasses breaking, crying jags, people running away wailing... For some reason I look back fondly on those days.

Posted by: Paul at October 19, 2006 04:26 PM (ahClC)

6 You people are fucking heartless. I, for one, am elated that such a horrible 'game' has been eradicated from the playgrounds of this school. I could only hope that a long list of violent and dispicable games would follow suit: smear the queer (god lord people), football, four square, teatherball, hopscotch, kick the can, and the penultimately horrible ritual called capture the flag.

Posted by: shank at October 19, 2006 04:53 PM (dWclD)

7 Smear the Queer. Great game...couldn't play it in Maryland, but we could in South Carolina. One kid broke his arm during recess playing Smear the Queer. (NOTE: In SC, it wasn't called Smear the Queer. It was called Kill the Man With the Ball, which was a more accurate description and exactly how those Southern boys played it.)

Posted by: Victor at October 20, 2006 07:22 AM (WHtgF)

8 In elementary we used to play a game called Murderball.... yeah... exactly... and that wasn't on the playground, that was teacher supervised. You basically had rows of people each with a ball and you had to run between the rows and try and not get your brains knocked out. Maybe the school administrators are equating the word "Tag" with tagging... you know... unf unf... "I tagged that girl in my geometry class, woooheeee"

Posted by: Oorgo at October 20, 2006 10:13 AM (ZUQGo)

9 Vic- I thought about calling it Kill The Man With The Ball, but figured it was probably a regional thing. Little did I know...

Posted by: shank at October 21, 2006 03:18 PM (dWclD)

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