As Don sits studiously writing the next portion of his future historical biography, he is engulfed by a sulfurous, but oddly pleasant in a musky manly-man sort of way, cloud. As the cloud clears he finds himself in a dark and musty cavern. Standing over him is a monstrous form, complete with shiny horns and spikey tail.

Jim: Hey, Don. How's it hanging?

Don: WTF?

Jim: You didn't actually just spell out "W-T-F", did you? That is so...so...

Don: Trite? Generation-X? Geeky?

Jim: That last one. more...

Posted by: Jim at 08:58 AM | Comments (8) | Add Comment
Post contains 768 words, total size 5 kb.

1 I finnally linked you Jim.. course my linkage to you also involves Don...

Posted by: pylorns at November 05, 2003 09:16 AM (AhTDr)

2 I have truly arrived.

Posted by: Jim at November 05, 2003 09:20 AM (IOwam)

3 Brilliant, darling. I bow down to Jim, and not in any kind of "On my knees kind of way". Wonder what my nickname would be...

Posted by: Helen at November 05, 2003 10:06 AM (k78uM)

4 Ok, I've finnaly joined the frey... A story about Jim and Don.. and Helen.. by yours truly. http://www.wetwired.org/2003_11_01_archive.html#106804951048553418

Posted by: pylorns at November 05, 2003 11:36 AM (AhTDr)

5 You know why else I love Jim? He remembers I am six hours ahead of you guys. That's right. He knows that when he wakes up, he has posts to read. *sigh*...ain't nothing like a considerate man...

Posted by: Helen at November 05, 2003 12:38 PM (tdh2z)

6 I'm all about consideration. That's why I had to move down South. Ladies still get treated like ladies down here. Even when they're your boss.

Posted by: Jim at November 05, 2003 02:10 PM (IOwam)

7 Your gentlemanly ways proved your undoing on my latest post, my dear...

Posted by: Helen at November 05, 2003 04:56 PM (k78uM)

8 Drat. Drat and double drat.

Posted by: Jim at November 05, 2003 06:08 PM (fkewd)

Hide Comments | Add Comment

Actually, it's not so bad as that. Kim du Toit posted/ranted about being a manly man and Venomous Kate called him on it. Turns out they're positions are a lot closer than they thought at first. Good essay, good response, good commenting. This is what the Blogosphere is all about.

UPDATE: Ilyka's got two cents to spare on the subject. And it's a bargain at that price. Go read.

UPDATE 2: Michele's got it going on, too. A little bit of this and a little bit of that.

Posted by: Jim at 07:50 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 106 words, total size 1 kb.

Today is G's 30'th birth anniversary! That's right, he's now a man. As an extra special present, his new nickname will be awarded today. The poll is very tight with only one vote separating the top contenders. Your vote could be the difference!

And remember, we're using Chicago voting rules. Already voted? Vote again! Because if you're willing to press a button twice then I care twice as much about your opinion as everybody elses.

Vote soon as the poll will close an some unpredictable time today (basically, whenever I get the time to edit the blog template to remove it).

Posted by: Jim at 06:43 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 109 words, total size 1 kb.

The Carnival of the Vanities is launched over at WizBang. Very nifty election theme complete with trivia by my interrogator interviewer Jennifer.

But it's missing my own entry, which has made me grumbly.

Posted by: Jim at 06:36 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 41 words, total size 1 kb.

1 I swear it was their when I posted... In subsequent editing I must have *ahem* fixed it... Not to worry, I'll tuck it back into the Fiction and Short Stories where it was...

Posted by: Kevin at November 05, 2003 08:46 AM (bb8SE)

2 Thanks, Kevin.

Posted by: Jim at November 05, 2003 09:01 AM (IOwam)

Hide Comments | Add Comment

Jennifer's interview of me is ready for your perusal. Ever wonder what's up with the giant cow udder? Now's your chance to find out.

Posted by: Jim at 04:25 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 50 words, total size 1 kb.

Found at Electric Venom. Kate got it from Inoperable Terran

'Takin Two' Talk of Town

RIO RANCHO, N.M. -- A Rio Rancho teen was slapped with an in-school suspension for taking both sodas that came out of a vending machine, when he had only paid for one.

On Monday, Rio Rancho student Mason Kisner, 12, said he bought a can of pop at a school vending machine, and instead of getting one can, he received two.

Kisner said he spread the word, and other students tried to get in on the deal. A teacher who saw Kisner getting the two sodas on Monday told him not to do it again. But Kisner said the teacher saw him get another two sodas for the price of one on Tuesday.

The boy said the teacher called him a thief and accused him of trying to teach other students how to steal. He was written up, given a two-day in-school suspension and the incident will appear on his permanent school record.

First things first. Isn't this entrapment? The teacher knows that the machine is malfunctioning. Instead of disabling the machine, he/she decided to just keep an eye on it. How is this different from putting a $5 bill on your desk and hiding in the closet? He/she created a situation designed to tempt people into an act that he/she viewed as illegal.

Second things second. How exactly do you not take the second soda? None of the vending machines here in Georgia have a return slot in case an extra soda pops out. Are the machines different in New Mexico? Should he have brought the extra soda to the principal's office maybe? Does anybody believe that whatever authority figure he surrendered it to would then contact the vendor to return the can? Or that the vendor would drive on down to collect it? How many people would go out of their way to return an extra soda from a vending machine in any case? According to the poll posted with that news article a whopping 5% would do so.

Last things last. Kisner shouldn't have gone back to the machine after having been warned by the teacher. He messed up when he did. The teacher should have handled the machine problem. He/she messed up when he/she didn't. Shouldn't the teacher be subjected to a similar punishment? Suspension for a week and a permanent record statement along the lines of "contributed to the delinquency of a minor".

Posted by: Jim at 08:29 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 421 words, total size 3 kb.

You're not the sharpest tool in the box and often have to make up words to make yourself understood but you certainly know how to work the system as a Mr. President Bush. You take what you want, get people to do your dirty work but nurture your allies making you a great collaborator and very dangerous enemy.

Bush is an evil dictator? Gee, that is oh so clever. I've never heard any bit of hate speech even remotely like that. How original. Hey, Novistrana! How about a nice hot cup of shut the fuck up? (Dis credits to Right We Are)

Asshats.

(Hat tip to Kevin at Wizbang, though I doubt he knew about this particular quiz result.)

Posted by: Jim at 07:45 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 129 words, total size 1 kb.

Idea totally ripped off from Don.

As God walks off into the sunset chuckling heartily over his victory against Don, Jim pops up in that annoying arms-waving-about-attracting-attention manner of his.

Jim: Hey, wait up! more...

Posted by: Jim at 05:02 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
Post contains 696 words, total size 4 kb.

Crapola. I totally missed my counter passing 20,000 hits. I was going to do a blog retrospective there. Ah, well. We'll reschedule that for 25,000 then.

Posted by: Jim at 04:48 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 36 words, total size 1 kb.

Can you hear the crickets?

Sorry, no truths of life or amusing anecdotes today. I spent the morning getting a tire fixed. The same tire that was replaced two weeks ago. Actually that's not exactly true. I took the morning off so I could get the tire fixed and ended up sleeping in. It went something like this:

Eyes open.
Look at clock.
Clock says 6:30.
Thought processed begin.
"Great. It's 6:30. I can get up, have a relaxing cup of coffee, blog a bit, shower and still be at the tire place when they open. Isn't that great?"
Thought processes refine.
"I took a half day off. If I do all of that then I'll still be at work fairly early but not early enough to not take a half day off."
Thought processes crystalize.
"Screw it."
Eyes close.
Sleep resumes.

So I slept in late and boy was it freaking awesome. No sleep feels as good as naughty sleep. But the end result is I'm at work with a day's worth of work to do in half a day. Come on now, y'all know that you don't actually get time off when you take time off. Compounding this is a company meeting that starts in 10 minutes that will take about half of my half day leaving me one quarter of a day to do a day's work.

Net result, the 80% of my brain that is usually reserved for tracking absurdities and formulating humorous anecdotes out of the ridiculousness of life has been hijacked for actual rational thought. Bummer.

But while you wait in vain for something amusing to be issued on these pages, a wait doomed to result in heartbreak I might add, you can send an email to Jen for my upcoming interview. Don't you have something that you've always wanted to ask me but were afraid to posit for fear of my maniacal retribution? Now's your chance.

Posted by: Jim at 01:54 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 333 words, total size 2 kb.

Bacon is watching Lilo & Stitch. From the walls and ceilings that he is bouncing off of. In other words, he's feeling pretty good and is amped on steroids and whatever other crap is in his medicine.

Got the call from Lovely Wife a bit after 3:00, carried the two sleeping babes to the family truckster and went to pick up the lost family members. We were back home and in bed finally by 3:30.

Lovely Wife has taken the other two out to do some errands to give our little sicko some peace. Not that he seems to want any, of course. He sounds like a harbor seal but he's in hyperactive mode. Kids - you just can't keep 'em down.

Daddys, on the other hand, are easy to keep down. Make em stay awake half the night worrying and then wake em up early. I'm wondering how early I can put the troops to bed tonight so I can sneak off to my own repose.

Posted by: Jim at 12:50 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
Post contains 173 words, total size 1 kb.

1 I hope that little Bacon continues to be ok. I don't have kids, so I can't really imagine the hell that parents go through with worrying, but I can imagine that it's a new definition of "stressful", and I just want to tell you that you have "wonderful dad" stamped all over you. It's lovely, dearie. Sending you good wishes via the net.

Posted by: Helen at November 03, 2003 04:28 AM (4tEWI)

2 Glad to hear the good news. Kids have a habit of seeming to be on the brink of death before recovering quickly and completely. I think it's a plot for parents making them eat vegetables.

Posted by: Ted at November 03, 2003 07:53 AM (Qj620)

3 Yeah, they sure can stress you out when they try. The medium guy seems fine today except for a rough cough. In addition to croup, he's got strep throat. Hey, no sense doing things in half measures, right? Buy he's in fine spirits and playing happily with Bear.

Posted by: Jim at November 03, 2003 08:12 AM (fkewd)

Hide Comments | Add Comment

1:30 AM on a Saturday night. I haven't seen many of these over the past couple of years. Unfortunately most of the ones I have seen have been because of stuff like tonight.

Bacon is at the hospital, taken there by an ambulance. Lovely Wife is with him while I stay here with the other two boys. They're sleeping, which is both expected and the reason I'm here instead of all of us being there. It's a disadvantage though because if they were making some noise it would be easier to stay awake.

Lovely Wife called just a little bit ago. Bacon is doing fine. He has a nasty case of croup. Before we called the ambulance he was struggling to take any breath at all. Very scary.

But like I said, he's doing okay now. Not great but not in danger. He's in a hospital, after all. He's getting a steroid inhalation treatment and then he'll need to be there for a couple hours to be monitored. He should do okay after the treatment. If not, they might be there for quite a while.

Drinking coffee and playing Snood to keep awake. Hey, my normal bedtime is 9:00 PM. This is LATE for me.

And there's one of the boys crying now. Good - gives me something to do besides fret.

Posted by: Jim at 01:38 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
Post contains 228 words, total size 1 kb.

1 hope he is better soon!!

Posted by: MiMo at November 02, 2003 09:29 AM (qggjt)

2 The waiting and worrying is aways the hardest part, Hope he is back to 100% soon.

Posted by: Nate at November 02, 2003 11:54 AM (KJQ0B)

3 He's doing pretty well now. Thanks for the well wishes.

Posted by: Jim at November 02, 2003 12:51 PM (fkewd)

Hide Comments | Add Comment