Lovely Wife is off getting shots for the puppy and I'm here fighting off a mild nicotine attack and simultaneously getting a two year old screamer to shut his yap. He seems to enjoy reading over my shoulder, so to speak, so I parked him in his high chair and let him look. We draw a picture together. Well, I did the drawing, he did the artistic management. May I present Snoozebob!

Snoozebob is a youthful character. He's got a full head of hair that might be a white guy afro (like Richard Simmons). He's got freckles. He also has fangs. I'm not sure if he's a vampire or if that's just some wacky birth defect. With such innocent and trusting eyes I just can't see Snoozebob as an evil unlive blood sucker. We'll go with freakish mutant.

Posted by: Jim at 10:20 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
Post contains 146 words, total size 1 kb.

Submissions are needed for the Bestofme Symphony. Get 'em in while you can!

Send your submissions to bestofme@jpeacock.net and they'll be in Monday's edition at Ambient Irony.

The only requirements are that you think the post is good and that it be at least 2 months old. And it doesn't even have to be from your own blog! How's that for ease of use?

The basics of the Bestofme Symphony.
We need you to host a Symphony.
Want to get reminder emails?

Posted by: Jim at 09:46 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 88 words, total size 1 kb.

Thanks to the Welbutrin there wasn't any shaking or unbearable fits. Lots of lung cookies as the ol' breath bags tried to clean themselves out.

I did have some moody periods this morning. Until the mail came. With the awsomest and unexpectedest spirit lifter ever! Helen, you rock my world. Thank you from all the clan. That's a pretty prodigous thank you, you know. Seeing as there are five of us and all.

To the winch, wench!

Posted by: Jim at 12:00 AM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
Post contains 84 words, total size 1 kb.

1 Susie said there was some kind of quit smoking contest going on over here. I am now 2 months smoke free. No wellbutrin, patches or whatever ... just six months of weaning until I was down to 5 a day, then quit on New Year's Day when a friend of mine did. I do find that sucking down a couple of strong mint drops assists me greatly when I feel the need for a cigarette lift. The mint gets down into my throat and gives me a sensation like hot air going down my throat. Good luck, Jim. After more than 30 years, I am so glad to get that monkey off my back. I play the song like an alcoholic going to AA neetings, though: One Day at a Time (without Valerie Bertinelli, regrettably).

Posted by: Tiger at February 29, 2004 10:53 AM (G5PGV)

2 We quit before,cold turkey,no aid....I am still waiting for the apartment complex to send me the bill for the huge hole in the wall,that I so professionaly coverd...flying chairs I remember so well.....name calling,cousins beeing yelled at and attacked (almost)... those were the days.... NAH.....gimme the freaking Wellbutrin!It works,no cutting down...it just makes them taste NASTY and you WILL stop weather you want it or not.BELIEVE ME THEY TASTE NASTY!! Plus the fact that I don't like answering to anyone or beeing anyones slave. I eat a lot of Wrigleys now.And Pilsbury rolls....and candy....and I gained NOTHING!uahahaha My name is LW and I am an EX smoker for over a WEEK now! Well,JIM BEAT THAT!(just don't move somewhere again for a week!!) :-P

Posted by: LW at February 29, 2004 11:06 PM (saeHM)

3 Just to clarify that "move somewhere for a week" part for all you folks playing at home: That was when I came down here to Georgia to start the new job and find a place for us to move into. This was the stressful time that ended up with both of us independently returning to the cancer sticks after many a month of non-smokage.

Posted by: Jim at March 01, 2004 07:41 AM (IOwam)

4 I understand that people who are quitting with the smoking-age are a bit testy (I myself have never been a smoker, but at least I am not one of those rabid anti-smokers). So...allow me to whistle my support over here, in my far away corner, where no chairs can reach me

Posted by: Helen at March 01, 2004 08:13 AM (H8Q/6)

5 Watch out for phones too. As I recall we lost a couple of phones when quitting smoking previously. And a footboard. Don't ask.

Posted by: Jim at March 01, 2004 08:42 AM (IOwam)

6 Ah....the old footboard.How could I forgot to mention it? It is amazing how much adrenaline your body produces when you are on nicotine-withdrawl.Its also amazing how easy it is then for a woman to bend metal..

Posted by: LW at March 01, 2004 10:38 AM (saeHM)

Hide Comments | Add Comment

UPDATE: Results in extended entry

Want to know what it's about? See the Shamming/Sharing intro post.

Our third offering. Is this anecdote the truth or am I pulling your leg?

My dad and I have a lot in common. I got my work ethic from him. I got my anal retentive personality from him. Even my job shadows what he did for a career.

Until a few years ago my dad did quality assurance for the Air Force. When he started it was called Quality Control then it was Quality Assurance and for the last upteen years it was called Non Destructive Investigation. Whatever they called it, it's what we civilians now call QA.

He did stress tests and other analysis on live birds. That's aircraft in service, y'all, not actual feathered beasties. He had much cooler toys than I do. I have a PC and some nifty software. He had irradiation machines, X-Rays big enough to scan the wings of a C-130 Hercules transport and more tools than you can shake a fist at. He was forcibly retired (high year tenure) a few years ago.

He's not sitting idle though. He kept his side job for the FBI. He isn't a spy or anything. He does the upkeep and maintenance on the surveillance aircraft used by the Buffalo FBI. And I used to help him.

That's right, I worked on airplanes for the FBI. Well, to be precise I worked on FBI airplanes for their contractor and that contractor just happened to be my dad. For many years I would go up to the Niagara Falls Air Force Base with him on the weekends and do odd jobs while he did the important stuff. I washed square acres worth of plane wings over the years (seemed like it anyway). Towards the end of my time in Buffalo I was doing some cool stuff too. Engine checks, firing magnetos, instrument checks, testing the smoke screen generator...lots of cool stuff. Once I even got to fly one of the planes.

It was after the completion of a 100 hours maintenance cycle and the agent (not sure if I'm supposed to say his name so I'll just call him Agent Bob) was there to go over a couple of things that he thought were quirky. We all ended up taking a short flight so he could show Dad what the quirks were. When we were up to altitude Agent Bob gave me the controls. That was very cool. And scary. I don't have a whole lot of specifics in my memory because the majority of my one and only piloting experience was spent staring at the attitude indicator and repeating a mantra of "Holyshitholyshitholyshit" to myself. It might have been better if I'd spent some time with Flight Simulator before then but it was still pretty cool.

Current Shamming/Sharing roster:

1 Correct
jim
Mike the Marine
MojoMark
Sue
Tiffani

0 Correct
Everybody else more...

Posted by: Jim at 07:45 AM | Comments (10) | Add Comment
Post contains 559 words, total size 3 kb.

I'm not going to rag on Lloyd because he's a homophobe. I'm not going to rag on him because he's opinionated. I'm not even going to rag on him because he's most likely a hypocritical closet fag himself. No, I'm not going to rag on him for any of these things. Instead, I'm going to rag on him because he's a flaming ass. In fact, Lloyd has inspired me to start a new category here at Snooze Button Dreams where I'll showcase such flaming asses.

As long as my faith teaches me what it does, coupled with the fact that homosexual lifestyles threaten the very fabric that has held society together for centuries on this planet...

Homosexual lifestyles threaten the very fabric that has held society together for centuries on this planet? Um, Lloyd (I keep wanting to spell that "Llyod" for some reason), you better sit down for this one. There have in fact been homosexuals on this planet, in society for centuries. I know! I was shocked too! I mean, how in he who must not be named's name has society kept its very fabric together? It's a mystery. Go pray for an answer. more...

Posted by: Jim at 03:11 PM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
Post contains 711 words, total size 4 kb.

I'm a quitter. A lowsy quitter, granted, but a quitter nonetheless. Kate's a quitter and so is Kelley. I quit for almost a year and a half back 'round '96 and Lovely Wife and I quit together for better than half a year in '01. I've tried quitting solo quite a few times over the past 16 years, never with any real success. Lovely Wife and I have also tried quitting together a few other times, also without success.

This time it's going to work. See, I'm quitting again. Lovely Wife already did and has been nicofree since Monday. In support of her courageous effort I've refrained from smoking around her or even bringing the deadly tempting cancer sticks into our domicile. This weekend will be the first days of my quitting for real since I'd be an absolute idiot if I started up again on Monday after going without for the entire weekend, returning only to this crazy half-smoker state where I get a mini withdrawal each and every day.

So I'm looking for support. Not moral support, financial support. Here's the thing - the absolute best I ever did was that year plus stretch. It was a year plus because I quit with my Dad, Brother-in-law and Brother-in-law's brother-in-law and we had a bet. Anybody who smoked again, even a puff, for the next year had to pay each of the others $25. The thought that my next cigarette was going to cost me $75 was instrumental to fighting down the urges when they hit. (Incidentally, Bro-in-law and I made it. Dad didn't make it and paid us our blood money. Bro-in-law's bro-in-law was a jackass and renegged on the bet.) So I'm going to go back to what worked and inviting y'all to come along. more...

Posted by: Jim at 09:00 AM | Comments (10) | Add Comment
Post contains 801 words, total size 5 kb.

Gay Marriage Ban Defeated in House

The vote Thursday was 117-50 for the gay marriage ban, but as a constitutional amendment, it needed a two-thirds majority, or 120 votes, to pass.

It goes back up for reconsideration on Monday and reps can change their votes. Lobbyists will be all over the place trying to swing the more wishy-washy representatives.

Seven of the 180 members of the House were present but did not vote, and five others had excused absences. Those 12 lawmakers can be expected to be targets of intense lobbying over the next few days.

It'll probably border on frenetic lobbying with the Christian Coalition of Georgia and Georgia Equality battling it out for the attention of the politicians.

Every Republican in the House except Rep. Jill Chambers of Atlanta voted for the gay marriage ban, along with most white Democrats in rural and South Georgia. "I voted to represent the people that put me office," Chambers said. "[My] district is very diverse."

Good on ya, Jill. Right action, not necessarily the right reason. Anybody remember the right reason? Say it with me: It is not the purpose of a state constitution to single out a minority group for the purposes of exclusionary legislation.

Also, putting your special interest crap in the Code of Law is bad enough. Adding it to the Constitution of Georgia is an abomination.

(Hat tip to Phillip Coons)

Posted by: Jim at 08:02 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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This week's Cheddar is going to be weak. It's a nifty concept, I just suck at it. See, we're supposed to do poems for the answers. The extent of my poetry knowledge is the repertoire of Andrew Dice Clay. Well, let's see what we can do.

1. What is your favorite poem or verse? Why?
There's no earthly way of knowing
Which direction we are going
There's no knowing where we're rowing
Or which way the river's flowing
Is it raining?
Is it snowing?
Is a hurricane a-blowing?
Not a speck of light is showing
So the danger must be growing
Are the fires of hell a-glowing?
Is the grisly reaper mowing?
Yes, the danger must be growing
'Cause the rowers keep on rowing
And they're certainly not showing
Any signs that they are slowing.

That messed up poem that Wonka said
Gave me chills and feelings dread.
When young it made me shake and shiver
Even now it sets me all aquiver.

2. Describe your family.
A Lovely Wife so tall and fair
A rugrat boy that we call Bear
The Burger boy is our third son
And number two we call Bacon

3. What line in a song or poem do people always screw up that drives you nuts?
I must admit,
I am not teasin'
There's no such line
That gets me seethin'

4. Are there poems or songs that you intentionally change the words to?
Yeah there was a special one
Idol's Mony sucked
Billy really should have sung
Y'all get laid get fucked

5. Make up a standard limerick about something funny that happened in the last couple of days.
A beautiful day in Lawrenceville
We took our kite atop the hill
The spool was lost
The kite was tossed
But all was saved by puppies' skill.

(Lovely Wife lost the thread spool and the puppy chased it and held it up long enough for her to grab it again)

6. How about a haiku about your last intense emotional moment?
Quitting smoking now
My blood cries for nicotine
Fury ebbs slowly

7. What's caught your eye in the news lately?
Bush says marriage is for guy and girl.
An amendment for this? I'm gonna hurl.
Kerry keeps talking out both sides of his face.
He'll say anything he thinks will win his race.
The Georgia House's resolution
Makes mockery of our Constitution.
Idiots on global warming last night
This morning Atlanta's covered in white.
Politicians snipe and root like hogs.
Fuck em all, I'll read weblogs.

Bonus: Whoever can figure out what rhymes with orange gets the bonus prize this week!
Whate'er it is you think you hear
With strained and tender youngster's ear
The sound of pogo bouncing high
As playmate comes approaching nigh

To bounce then fall to bounce again
Its springy coil so serves and then
The sound you hear, that "pornge, pornge, pornge"
Still yet not quite doth rhyme with orange

Points?: None this time around. Sorry folks, I almost had an aneurism just writing a half dozen verses. Imagine what might have happened if I had to put devious thought into one! I'll make it up to you later.

Posted by: Jim at 06:17 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
Post contains 558 words, total size 3 kb.

No, that wasn't the setup for a joke. An aquaintance needs a very good lawyer in the Augusta and/or Atlanta area. The issue involves a student and a school and said school's policy that improperly forced said student into a youth detention center. Any help/leads would be appreciated.

Posted by: Jim at 02:17 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 58 words, total size 1 kb.

Is there some contest I haven't been made aware of? Is there a competition between the various State Houses to see which one can pass the greatest number of superfluous and ridiculous laws? If so, Georgia just leapt into the lead with this beauty:

A bill introduced in the Georgia House Wednesday would require twice as many toilets in women's restrooms as in men's rooms.



The measure would apply only to government buildings built after July of this year. But the sponsor hopes it would send a message - women shouldn't have to wait so darn long to use the bathroom.

Tommy "Ain't my nickname cute" Smith is a flaming jack-ass and should be ridden out of the House along with the three female reps who co-sponsored this idiocy. And every fuck nut who voted to pass it, too. Don't these people respect their oath of office at all? Don't they have even the slightest iota of a clue of what laws should be and what laws should do? They are passing a law that will mandate twice as many toilets in female rest rooms as in male restrooms but only for government buildings and only those government buildings built after July of this year.

First, you don't make a law regulating the number of shitters in the ladies room. Second, you don't pass legislation specifically designed to not apply to anything currently and designed to apply to next to nothing in the future. Third, the legal code is not the proper vehicle for you to "send a fucking message".

The law is not a place for Tommy boy's potty jokes and his flippant remarks make it clear that this is what his intent is. Here are shit boy's brilliant rejoinders:

"Anytime you have a toilet or - what are them things called? - urinals, you know, for the men, you should have twice as many for the ladies."

"It's not good for the females that they can't go to the bathroom."

"And it's not good for the men because we have to wait on 'em to get out."

"This is serious, a serious problem," he said. "If you talk to any woman, she'll tell you it's a serious problem."

Damn I hate politicians.

(Hat tip to Phillip Coons)

Posted by: Jim at 12:44 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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So I got up this morning and what to my wondering eyes should appear? No, not the fat elf. I'm talking snow! Actual frozen water from the sky lay across the landscape like a soft white baby's blanket. A really big-ass soft white baby's blanket. A really big-ass soft white baby's blanket with holes ripped in it from trees and cars and stuff. And the spots where the snow had melted on the street looked like cigarette burns. Now isn't that nice - cigarette burns in a baby's blanket. God can be such a jerk sometimes.

Posted by: Jim at 11:51 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 106 words, total size 1 kb.

Because they do shit like this.

A 14 year old boy is the victim of statuatory rape. Over a decade later the mother wants him to pay child support for the child that he unwillingly fathered. The court says that he must. You see, it did not matter that she committed a crime by seducing a minor. Child support is about the needs of the child and the circumstances of the impregnation do not matter at all.

So if a woman breaks into a sperm bank, fills up a turkey baster and blasts away, 9 months later she could sue for child support. If a chick has a crush on some fella and slips him some scopolamine, screws the hell out of him in his confused state and drops him off at his house with no memory of the event she can pop up after the kid is born and demand child support.

After all, the circumstances of the impregnation do not matter at all. The biological father is required to support his issue. It's all about the children, y'know.

(Hat tip to Phillip Coons)

Posted by: Jim at 03:52 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
Post contains 195 words, total size 1 kb.

I had got a problem that very few people know about. It was a habit that sometimes affected my life. It was soemthing I wasn't emotionally committed to but just couldn't stay away from. It was not an addiction! I am a mature person in total control of myself. I'm no addict. Anal retentives don't get addictions, we get compulsions. Well, maybe you could call it a need but only occasionally. Definitely not an addiction!

It's not like it filled my entire day or something. It was just one in the morning, maybe another at work, one or two at night. Maybe some practice while I was having a cigarette or on the crapper. You know, when I wasn't otherwise engaged anyway. It's just something I used to keep my mind occupied when I was bored. Well, okay, sometimes I got a bit lost when I was doing it and didn't realize that Lovely Wife was talking to me. And maybe once or twice I didn't hear a kid screaming while I was doing it. Does it really matter that I zoned a bit when I was concentrating? Isn't that the mark of a committed mind?

And so what if I did it a lot? I'm good at it so why shouldn't I have? I don't think anybody ever went up to Jordan and said "You know, Mike...you're playing an awful lot of basketball. Maybe you should give that a bit of a break and try something else for a while". Damn straight they didn't. more...

Posted by: Jim at 02:54 PM | Comments (14) | Add Comment
Post contains 761 words, total size 4 kb.

1 low possible to win: 625 Hi possible: 745 Hi Loser: 720

Posted by: MojoMark at February 25, 2004 05:30 PM (E+LQu)

2 Jim - now you can finally get that life you've been missing. At least it's not like my family, where my Ma, Pa and brother had nightly arguments over who could play Hearts.

Posted by: Simon at February 26, 2004 12:34 AM (UKqGy)

3 Simon-my family used to get VICIOUS during Hearts games. It got ugly. Knives thrown, souls sold, the works. As for me, I am currently nursing a Freecell addiction-I even dream about matching black and red things. I am a loser.

Posted by: Helen at February 26, 2004 01:52 AM (I9OSd)

4 I was working honest!

Posted by: Jeremy at February 26, 2004 04:45 AM (6TQoy)

5 MojoMark - You got at least one but not all three correct. I won't say which one(s) yet so people can still guess. In my family it was Pinnochle. Gram was an evil player. When I stayed with her on visits we would play all day and night. We played two man with a dead hand. The dead hand was named "George" after my Gramps. Yeah, that's how serious a player my Gram was. This prepared me for the vicious games of euchre that occupied the majority of my high school days. Gram cheated like a wench and taught me everything I know so I was a killer euchre player against the lightweights I played against. Then in the Navy it was spades. Lots and lots of spades. Then more spades. I tried to introduce euchre and had a little success but eventually I gave up and turned to poker since that has almost universal acceptance. I made a lot of money off of my fellow sailors. Ah, those were the days.

Posted by: Jim at February 26, 2004 05:18 AM (saeHM)

6 Sounds like an intervention is called for. I know my mother definitely needs to get checked into the Betty Ford Clinic for Solitaire Rehab. They force you to occupy your time by playing backgammon. The shakes go away in a few days I am told.

Posted by: The Bull at February 26, 2004 06:18 AM (Q/NXM)

7 I'm gonna say Shamming. No one would ignore their family over a stupid card game. oh..my bad we're not voting on this one

Posted by: jimi at February 26, 2004 10:11 AM (zE10C)

8 Since you haven't revealed the answer yet, can I get a point for saying that 745 highest possible is right?

Posted by: Harvey at February 26, 2004 01:20 PM (tJfh1)

9 Nope, but I'll confirm that that's the only one MojoMark had right. I'll reveal the answers and hand points out in about an hour.

Posted by: Jim at February 26, 2004 01:38 PM (IOwam)

10 subsequent to my posting I figured one was wrong, so I'll be interested in your response.

Posted by: MojoMark at February 26, 2004 01:38 PM (E+LQu)

11 The answers are: Highest points possible (with a win): 745 Lowest points possible with a win: 20 Highest points possible with a loss: 705 Solitaire points are scored like this: 5 points when you move a card from the deck to the field. 5 points when you uncover a card in the field. 10 points when a card is played to the waste (the Ace to King piles). When the cards are dealt out there are 7 already exposed. These cards can generate a maximum of 70 points (by playing them to the waste). The other cards can each generate 15 points (5 for uncovering in the field or playing to the field plus 10 for playing to the waste). 45 cards times 15 points is a maximum of 675 points. 675 plus 70 makes the highest points possible 745. Playing a card from the waste back into the field costs you fifteen points. Therefore you can always reduce your score to zero (it won't go below zero) by playing a card repeatedly from the field to the waste, back to the field, etc. The catch is there have to be at least two cards in the field because as soon as you put the very last card in the waste the game is over. So you have zero points and your last two cards in the field - those two cards will get you 20 points when you play them to the waste. The highest points possible with a loss is a bit tougher because you have to figure out the best (or worst?) possible scenario for an almost win. This requires 4 cards be left in the field, 1 exposed and the others unexposed underneath it. The cards are a queen - the up card, the card immediately below that in the same suit (to prevent the stopper from being played to the waste) and the two cards higher than the stopper of the opposite color (to prevent it from being played off of the hidden cards). For example, the queen of hearts is face up in the field. Underneath it is the jack of hearts, king of spades and king of clubs. 4 cards haven't been played to the waste so the maximum possible score with a lost game is 705. Note that there are many scenarios where you could be stopped and have more than 705 points but all of those can be corrected by playing cards back from the waste. They aren't lost games they're just unfinished ones. One point for MojoMark

Posted by: Jim at February 26, 2004 02:04 PM (IOwam)

12 Points in solitare are meaningless. My office has set up the solitare-speed-challenge. And the current record for a winning game of standard (draw three) solitare, is held by ME. 68 SECONDS, baby. You can't touch this...

Posted by: Mike the Marine at February 26, 2004 03:27 PM (UJiSP)

13 I thought Jim's complete points analysis of the game was extremely sad, until I read Mike the Marine's post. Now I think you're both sad. Cut free of the cards, friends.

Posted by: Simon at February 27, 2004 02:06 AM (GWTmv)

14 It's not a bug, it's a feature.

Posted by: Jim at February 27, 2004 04:45 AM (saeHM)

Hide Comments | Add Comment

Natalie Dee is the funniest artist on the web. I mean, with stuff like fun facts, can there be any doubt?

She's got a weblog too.

Posted by: Jim at 01:18 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 30 words, total size 1 kb.

I just can't get enough of these penguin games. I'm strangely drawn to this one...

668.1 is my best so far.

(Hat tip to Dopple-G)

Posted by: Jim at 01:04 PM | Comments (8) | Add Comment
Post contains 29 words, total size 1 kb.

You remember the Butt Game, right? That's where you call out "Butt" and something that you can see. Whoever gets the most laughs wins. Well, Bear is getting really good at this. The other day we were playing it in the car and he trumped both Lovely Wife and myself with his butt-isms. Some were so good that I couldn't help but wonder why they aren't part of our regular vocabulary. In the interest of expanding the wonder and grace of the English language I present a sample of Buttcabulary.

Buttramp: Sounds naughty doesn't it? This word could be used with hillarious effect as a synonym for "slide".

Buttplate: This is an actual word already but it lends itself to another definition. You know those round plastic sleds that you can't control worth a damn and are designed so you can't sit at the center of gravity so you always end up going down the suicidal hill backwards? Yeah, those are now called buttplates.

Buttbus: "Short bus" has taken on dangerously non-PC tones. We'll call them buttbusses from now on.

Buttpole: Can't really stay away from homosexual references when we're talking about butts, can we?

Buttlight: The doctor uses this during rectal exams.

Buttgrass: This was the winner of our last contest. Isn't this just perfect to describe the muppet like growth that covers some folks backsides or the jungle of hairs pouring out of some butt cracks? Here, let me use it in context for you: "Damn, girl! Mow that buttgrass!"

What Buttcabulary words do you know?

Posted by: Jim at 08:44 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
Post contains 264 words, total size 2 kb.

Update: Results in the extended entry.

See the intro for particulars.

Our second entry. Is this anecdote a lie or is it the truth?

One time...at band camp... (Heh. Just kidding.)

I was the class comic in school. Not the class clown - I didn't go for making a fool of myself back then. But I was always there with a quip or cutting remark, a joke or anecdote, a one liner or tidbit appropriate to the situation, etc. I was a cut up.

Anyway, I was not quite smart enough to restrict my cuts and comments to just other students and I would frequently be a class distraction as I tossed bon mots around (usually when I was bored with the subject and/or didn't like the class). One time in 11th grade History class (Mr.Balsavage was the teacher) I was being particularly irritating crafty and Mr.B (who was a teacher I liked so I don't know why I was being such a jerk) walked over to me, bent down so we were face to face and said "You are the type of person who shoots from the hip and then leaves." I knew immediately that I had stepped pole vaulted over the line. That marked the end of my cutting apart teachers and put quite a damper on my mouth overall. Even to this day I'm far more selective of my targets and will generally put my self up for a joke before I take somebody else down with one.

Current Shamming/Sharing roster:

Sue: 1 correct
Everybody else: nada

Just a note about how I'm writing these. I am thinking up some element of Jimstory and then running a random generator (Excel is my favorite multi-purpose number playground) that tells me if I should write it up as a sham or a share. That way I won't get trapped into that humanistic need to balance out the number of true ones with the number of false ones or have to do a true one after a couple false ones & vice versa. more...

Posted by: Jim at 04:06 PM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
Post contains 449 words, total size 3 kb.

Okay, I'm sick and twisted. I admit it, fully and freely. But Natalie Dee is much better worse. Case in point: Look Ma! No hands!

Posted by: Jim at 03:26 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 33 words, total size 1 kb.

A few weeks ago I posted a piece at ZeroIntelligence.net on a Champaign, Illinois coach who was railroaded out of his job due to a run-in with a zero tolerance policy. The story has developed a bit.

After a hue and cry from the populace, Coach Anderson was reinstated with the agreement that he would resign at the end of the season. He coached the 8th grade basketball team to win the state title.

On a more personal note, ZeroIntelligence.net is no longer accessible from computers in the Champaign School District. Their filtering software now says that the site is pornography and bans it. This could be explained in one of two ways. First, their new software is more stringent than their previous version and/or it is badly configured. Second, my site was manually added to their banned sites list.

It could be a total coincidence that my site was available to Champaign students and staff before I posted an article critical of Superintendant Culver and now it isn't. I've requested a review and statement from Dan Casing (Assistant Superintendant of Business Services & Operations for the Champaign School District) and sincerely hope that this is software error and not deliberate censorship.

Posted by: Jim at 01:39 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 208 words, total size 1 kb.

I first saw something like this over at Ilyka's and now Michele's getting into it too.

What are the first 10 songs that come up if you put (insert your music playing program) on random? Here's mine:

1. Metallica - The Shortest Straw


2. Heart - Who Will You Run To


3. Green Day - Basket Case


4. Scorpions - The Zoo


5. Dan Fogelberg - Longer


6. Beastie Boys - Brass Monkey


7. John Cougar Mellencamp - Hurts So Good


8. Nirvana - Frances Farmer Will Have Her Revenge On Seattle


9. Aerosmith - F.I.N.E.


10. Sister Hazel - We'll Find It

And number 11 (My playlist goes up to 11)
Commander Cody - Hot Rod Lincoln

And just in case you're interested (and who could blame you?), here's the first 10 from my last non-random playlist (Playlist title is "Crap Code Mix"):

1. 10,000 Maniacs - Candy Everybody Wants


2. Alien Fashion Show - Detroit Swing City


3. Megadeth - Symphony of Destruction


4. Sarah McLachlan - VOX


5. Bad Company - Fist Full of Blisters


6. Metallica - Breadfan


7. Brahms-Piano Concerto No.1 (Maestoso)


8. Sinead O'Connor - Just Like U Said it Would Be


9. Brian Setzer - Gettin' In the Mood


10. Concrete Blonde - Bajo la Lune Mexicana

And number 11:
Gipsy Kings - Bamboleo

So, am I odd or just eclectic?

Posted by: Jim at 01:08 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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