Hold onto your hearts ladies as you take a gander at these three hotties.

Posted by: Jim at 04:10 PM | Comments (9) | Add Comment
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The elusive blue footed boobie.

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In a recent meeting my technical lead on the MonsterOfAllProjects told me "It's not important that you know what you're doing. It's only important that you do it correctly." He was referring to my numerous questions about HOW THIS THING WORKED.

The shift from Quality Assurance to Project Management is a bit weird in this. I'm going from needing a full understanding of the process in order to bugger the hell out of it expose its weaknesses to needing to know absolutely nothing about the process. It was explained to me thusly:

Tech Lead: "Tell us what you're putting in and tell us what you want to come out. The rest is ours."

Me: "Wait a sec. 'The rest' is what I'm used to dealing with."

Tech Lead: "Not any more. Mwah hah hah hah hah!!"

The evil laugh might have been a tad shorter but that was essentially how the conversation went. So now I have to change my wall sign from "If you build it, it will crash" to "Garbage in, garbage out".

Posted by: Jim at 01:15 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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1 You have a sign too? Mine says "Please Do NOT Feed the Analyst." I know it's lame, but no one ever does anything zany in my office. I had to put a stop to that boring nonsense.

Posted by: shank at April 29, 2005 01:41 PM (+H1yK)

2 Hye that makes three of us with signs, except mine came from Despair.com. The signs I have are: Mettings and Get to Work

Posted by: phin at April 29, 2005 03:38 PM (Xvpen)

3 Welcome to my side of the sandbox! Loving it yet?!?! Garbage in Garbage out is good. Personally, mine says "No Whining" - you know, "Whining" in big letters, red circle, line slashing through it. Of course, no one comes by my cubby except Bear and he can't read, so guess who the sign's for, hmm???? Get the PMBOK. Join the PMI. You are part of the PM Colective, now Resistance is futile.

Posted by: Elizabeth at May 02, 2005 10:18 AM (LrGDI)

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The other red meat.

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3 points to the first person who can correctly identify why this is a shocking drink order. Specifically, why is it shocking that Bond orders a martini this way?

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This is the year for me meeting bloggers. Last year I met one fellow blogger - Trey Givens. That worked out so well you'd have thought I'd have been jumping in front of cars just to meet some more. Or just for the adrenaline rush. Things didn't turn out that way though. Most of my online friends live far, far away and it turns out my insurance has a problem with the whole jumping in front of cars thing.

This year is turning out very different.

I've already met Elizabeth and Clancy and had a blast with them. In just a couple of weeks I'll be in the presence of blog queen Margi. This summer we'll be barbequing with Boudicca and her three boys (And sister? She's invited too, Bou.) Later this year I'm hoping very much to be able to get together with Simon, RP and my very favoritest blogstress in the world Helen.

And all of this without attending a blogmeet. How's that for awesome?

Posted by: Jim at 08:21 AM | Comments (8) | Add Comment
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1 Interesting.

Posted by: pylorns at April 29, 2005 08:41 AM (FTYER)

2 I've always wondered about meeting people from the interent, because you work this mental sketch up based on what you read on the internet in their sites. It's always interesting to see how close your creative impression is to the real thing.

Posted by: shank at April 29, 2005 09:19 AM (+H1yK)

3 It is gonna be big fun!

Posted by: RP at April 29, 2005 09:47 AM (LlPKh)

4 Disturbing.

Posted by: LW at April 29, 2005 10:00 AM (MDLz3)

5 I'm excited! I've told my sister about it. It's just a matter of seeing if the lunatics have taken over her asylum or if she can really break away from the lead crazy lady. No, I'm not talking about myself...

Posted by: Boudicca at April 29, 2005 11:21 PM (z7nbM)

6 Tell me when Simon is coming and I'll be there with handfuls of German chocolates. If you want, that is. If Simon wants too, for that matter. And if you manage to drag RP down there as well.

Posted by: Helen at April 30, 2005 02:59 AM (P/pwA)

7 Well *I'm* excited!

Posted by: Margi at April 30, 2005 03:22 PM (lWAiX)

8 BTW, thanks to Shank, I'm now worried I'll not dissappoint. . . *sob*

Posted by: Margi at April 30, 2005 03:23 PM (lWAiX)

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I had a long meeting scheduled today. It is for a program asset database - a central location for all documentation, references and all information on every program we own, build or use. The idea started small and has been growing daily as more and more departments think of information that they want to store.

Today's meeting was to go over the high level requirements and get a basic development strategy. This way a decent development estimate could be made and we could take that to the Legion of Doom executive review board for cost approval. It was going to be a hellabad meeting.

I got there a few minutes early as usual. I set up the laptop, got on the network and hooked up to the overhead projector. I even plugged into the wall since the meeting was probably going to go longish and I didn't want to deal with any battery issues or that incredibly irritating screen-dimming.

People started arriving. The Vice President of Development. A Director of Application Development. Another Director of Application Development. The Vice President of Product & Quality Assurance. It dawned on me that I had all of the top people* responsible for all of our product development together in one room**. That's how big the scope for this program had become. I would have been nervous but my flight/fight reflex had landed firmly in fight mode. more...

Posted by: Jim at 03:55 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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Conferences are business meetings taken to the ultimate level of inefficiency.

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April 26, 2005

Gwinnett County
Board of Assessors
75 Langley Drive
Lawrenceville, GA 30045

Re: Appeal of Gwinnett County Board of Assessors Property Reassessment

Dear Sir or Madam:

I received a "Notice to Taxpayer" regarding the appraised value of my home. This notice shows that you have reappraised my home at [$Governor's Mansion] compared to the prior year value of [$Single Family Ranch]. While I would certainly love to have a home that raises in value this quickly my unfortunate reality is that my home has not increased in value by 16% since the time I purchased it less than a year ago.

If an actual inspection to assess my property were to reveal this startling increase in value I would be more than happy to sell it and realize a tidy return on my one year investment. Judging by the house on the next lot that has remained unsold for over two years as well as the frequent utility outages in the neighborhood I fear that my dreams of a quick profit are for naught.

Please accept this letter as my official appeal of the County assessed value of my property. I apologize for any irregularity in my missive but the phone number provided in the Notice has been constantly busy since I first received it so I have been unable to verify exactly what is needed in this letter. Perhaps other taxpayers are taking exception to their own reassessed values?

Sincerely,

James R Peacock

Posted by: Jim at 10:33 AM | Comments (17) | Add Comment
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In three weeks the Peacock Clan (Atlanta Division) will be traipsing off to Spokane, Washington to attend my Lil' Bro's wedding. We've (by "we" I mean "Lovely Wife") been preparing for the festivities, including buying clothes to wear for the ceremony. Well, no clothes for me as I've got my Fabulous Interview Suit(tm) but outfits for the three boys and Lovely Wife. This shopping was completed just this past weekend.

Yesterday my Lovely Wife IM'd me that she was thinking of bringing back her skirt and shoes. She's got an old skirt and old shoes that could still be serviceable and she really, really wanted to pick up Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events on it's Tuesday release.

Let me rephrase that: I am married to a woman who would rather have a Jim Carrey movie than a new skirt and shoes.

So I ask you again: Am I the luckiest guy in the world, or what?

Postscript: I surprised her with the movie last night for a birthday present so don't y'all worry about her taking those shoes back.

Posted by: Jim at 09:37 AM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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1 You're defiantly one lucky rascal. My wife would sell one of my kidneys for a new outfit. Given the choice between the two above, sheÂ’d take both.

Posted by: phin at April 27, 2005 11:31 AM (Xvpen)

2 I just don't see the use for nice clothes and all that fuss.I am home all day,so what do I need?A nasty old shirt and some shorts (actually we usually wear jammies all day).When I go out?Sneakers and jeans always work. So I chose entertainment which lasts longer than that stupid new outfit I will wear EXACTLY ONCE for a darn wedding......grrrrr.......what a WASTE of money!LOL But given the choice to sell the kids.....that actually sounds sort of tempting.If I don;t have kids I would actually be able to stay clean in that new outfit...hmmmmmmmm

Posted by: LW at April 27, 2005 01:03 PM (MDLz3)

3 You are a very lucky man, I am not detracting from that... however, my hubster is married to a woman that would rather spend money on a new computer game for him than clothes for herself. Let's be honest here - I hate shopping for clothes because it is far too depressing. A good First person shooter can cheer me up for many a day.

Posted by: ethne at April 27, 2005 02:09 PM (miAG4)

4 Jim...i kinda think MY husband would agree that you are, indeed, quite the lucky man. Not only would i buy the skirt, the shoes, matching purse and coordinating lipstick, I would buy the movie as well. *siiigh* I suck. (but I look quite fetching doing it!) ;-)

Posted by: Pam at April 27, 2005 10:10 PM (hNXz0)

5 That is wonderful. Your mutual bliss is obvious.

Posted by: Michele at April 28, 2005 11:24 AM (ht2RK)

6 I once used funds set aside for a new outfit to get the GM1 a subscription to Maxim. I think I pretty much ensured my tenure with that one. Oh, and I promised him if I ever meet Angelina Jolie he can have seconds.

Posted by: LeeAnn at April 28, 2005 12:29 PM (vqSdN)

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The rules:

1. In the extended entry are quotes from 13 movies. Your job is to identify the movie that each quote came from.


2. Guess as many times as you want, just don't get silly about it.


3. First person to correctly guess each entry gets a point. If there are any left after 24 hours they are worth 2 points.


4. As people guess the films I will strike out those entries and note who got it first.


5. NO cheating!!! That means NO: Google, IMDb, searching my archives etc.!

UPDATE: Holy crap on a stick! I accidentally posted the unedited final version instead of the edited correct version the first time around. If you saw the first version with the answers included please be a sport and sit this one out. more...

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Sounds dirty, doesn't it? Well it is!

I found the Draw a Pig Personality Test over at AAAVelociman's joint.

Meet SnoozePig!

You are a realist. You believe in tradition, are friendly, and remember dates (birthdays, etc.)

You are emotional and naive, care little for details and are a risk-taker.

You are secure, stubborn, and stick to your ideals.

The size of the ears indicates how good a listener you are. The bigger the better. You drew large ears, you are a great listener!

The length of the tail indicates the quality of your sex life. And again more is better! You drew large tail, WOW!

It's frightening just how accurate these things are.

Posted by: Jim at 02:52 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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The good news is my inbox is down to 19 items.

The bad news is that 14 of them are flagged for follow-ups. Yuck.

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Write a caption for the picture. Win fabulous prizes!*

The contest will be open until some time next week.

(Click to enlarge)

* Best caption gets 5 points with another handful thrown around to the rest of the best.

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The Good: I had a conference call about the project I went to Denver for. At the end of the call I received kudos from two Senior VPs and the Product Owner. It's a good thing I don't normally wear a hat because there's no way it would fit right now.

The Bad: Remember The History of Sales and Technology? A meeting earlier today took that it one step further.

Cave Salesman: And by the way, we'll need that club perfectly balanced.

Cave Techguy: Perfect balance? You're talking about technology we don't even have yet!

Cave Salesman: What's so hard about balancing a club?

Cave Techguy: Well to get perfect balance on a club I'm going to have to invent the lathe and to get a lathe I have to invent gears and to get gears I have to invent the freaking wheel. You're talking about technology that we are three generations away from!

Cave Salesman: Okay, as long as I get the club by Tuesday.

The Ugly: My email inbox is bloated like Michael Moore at an all you can eat Twinkiefest.

Posted by: Jim at 02:08 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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It looks like PayPal is finally getting some competition. GreenZap is now taking pre-registrations for their Summer 2005 launch. Pre-register now and your account will start with a $25 balance.

Better yet, pre-register through the link above and I'll get a $5 referral bonus too! Woo hoo!

Even without the free start-up and referral cash I'm keen on a non-eBay-owned money transfer system. And since they're just starting up there's the side bonus of 100% less phishing, account theft and fraudulent emails compared to your eBay account. Can't beat that with a stick.

Posted by: Jim at 01:41 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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In this post I posed the following question:

Once is luck,

Twice is coincidence,

Three times is a charm,

What is four times?

The clues I gave to the correct answer were that it was work related, I came up with this in a business meeting and that the answer could be gleaned from my previous posts about work. The correct answer is "Four times is a process".

I was hired here as a QA Specialist and the vast bulk of my first months was spent designing and implementing processes for Development. For the last month I've been designing and implementing processes for Project Management as well as taking on my own Business Analysis and Project Management tasks. I came up with this little saying during a meeting on those processes to make a point that it isn't enough to say what we are going to do and how we are going to do it. We actually have to DO IT like that and we can't consider it a success process until it has been verified by actual repetitive successes.

If anybody has any experience with change management (getting people to do something differently than they have been) you probably have a fair idea of how difficult it can be to get people to "follow the plan". It's where the term "herding cats" comes from.

Anyway, there were some great guesses and points shall be awarded!

Third Place (1 point): vw bug
Four times is... one partner too many.

Second Place (3 points): Oorgo
Four times is... repetitious.

First Place (5 points): shank
Four times is... the fine line between persistence and harrasment.

And a bonus point each for the folks who tried to find the business angle:

vw bug for ...only good for brainstorming.

knpepper for ...a project plan complete with willing project sponsor;
a real budget with real money; and real target audiences.

Wendy for ...a contract.

Helen for ...a promotion.

Posted by: Jim at 08:44 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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1 Oh I won! First Place! You really LOOOOVE me don't you? Oh joyful day!

Posted by: shank at April 22, 2005 09:24 AM (+H1yK)

2 "Cheating" isn't a business angle?

Posted by: Victor at April 22, 2005 10:14 AM (L3qPK)

3 Yipee! Someone else likes my odd sense of humor. ;-)

Posted by: vw bug at April 25, 2005 08:08 AM (FTNvS)

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The aftereffects of SnoozeBob Day will last for months. Or weeks maybe. Days? Okay, the aftereffects pretty much fizzled away mere moments after SnoozeBob Day ended.

But the points remain!

Here are the points awarded for the many guest posts:

1 point for Most painfully honest post goes to Lovely Wife for "Have I?"

2 points for Most blatant link whorage goes to Rob for "Do I still have time?"

3 points for Best impersonation of one of Jim's posts goes to pylorns for "Movie Quotes Time"

1 point for Post exposing the truth about French culture goes to Rob for "Because I always do as Jim orders"

2 points for Funniest depressing post goes to shank for "While the Cat's Away..."

-1 point for Post causing Jim the most real pain goes to dafyd for "Annoying German Pop"

1 point for Best combination of high tech and reprodutive organs goes to Dave for "C'est l'Oorgo, oui!"

5 points for Post exposing the most mangina goes to diamond dave for "Always wanted to ask this..."

My thanks to all of the guest posters!

Posted by: Jim at 08:58 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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1 Yay with the pointage and the prestige of being the biggest whore on SBD!

Posted by: Rob at April 22, 2005 06:17 AM (kXZI6)

2 You suck.........ONE lousy point!;-P

Posted by: LW at April 22, 2005 02:40 PM (MDLz3)

3 Tsk tsk... 5 points for Mr. Mangina and only 1 for the Lovely Wife? Awwww, I'm touched Actually, I tend to get more votes as a wienie than a pussy...

Posted by: diamond dave at April 22, 2005 04:42 PM (DqtzB)

4 Nooo... my points, my beautiful points

Posted by: Dafyd at April 23, 2005 04:45 AM (vvjtG)

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Yesterday's meeting in Denver was a Technology support effort for a current partnership arranged by Sales and Marketing. Our initiative is to exploit utilize our partner's services while they do the same with ours. This meeting was about them using our technology.

Did I mention that this business relationship was built by Sales and Marketing?

As in, the only knowledge of our products and services was from salesmen.

It was an interesting meeting and it brought to mind an ancient anecdote about The History of Sales and Technology.

Cave Salesman: Hey, what's the deliverable on one of those new clubs?

Cave Techguy: Two weeks for the standard model. Three to five for customized models.

Cave Salesman: Two weeks?! No way. It's only a club.

Cave Techguy: It's only a club? Look, I've got to locate an appropriate tree, chop it down, cut off an appropriate limb, shape it, fire harden it...

Cave Salesman: Well I already sold it and delivery is next Tuesday.

Cave Techguy: I told you - it takes at least two weeks!

Cave Salesman: I don't see why. It's only a club.

Things worked out well once we clarified a bit of what we can and can't do.

Posted by: Jim at 07:56 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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