December 23, 2003

Finding the Truth, A Christmas Story

Okay, so maybe it wasnÂ’t a good idea to drink quite so much. And maybe he could have behaved just a bit better at dinner. It probably wasnÂ’t a great idea to tell the kids the truth about Santa, either. Still, is that any reason to be kicked out of the house and dis-invited to the Christmas morning festivities?

So Rob sat in his living room mulling over the evening debacle, nursing his whiskey on the rocks in front of the fire. All alone on Christmas Eve and thinking about the Christmas Day he would spend equally alone.

It just wasnÂ’t fair! They were his nephews and he was just looking out for their own best interests. His parents had played the Santa game with him until he was ten years old. That was when he discovered the truth in humiliating style in front of what seemed at the time like the entirety of his school class. He just didnÂ’t want his nephews to go through that painful ordeal. Was it so very wrong to try to protect them?

Apparently it was, at least to his sister. She had gone ballistic when little Spence ran up to her crying and bawling about how Santa wasnÂ’t real, Uncle Rob said so. SheÂ’d tried to reassure the little fellow but to no avail. SheÂ’d dragged Robert into the parlor and tore strips off his hide but he had refused to recant and tell the kids that there really was a Santa Claus. So she had called him a cab and thrown him out on the front porch to wait for it, after making it oh so perfectly clear that he was not to return the next day. more...

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Tidings of Comfort and Joy

Robert at XSet won the auction for Tidings of Comfort and Joy. Robert has asked that I extend the holiday wishes and thanks to all of the people who participated in that auction and I am very happy to oblige him.

To Robert, Suebear, Clancy, Mog, R Stevens in Meriden CT, The Wizeke Family (Lara, John, Fido and Talum) in Princeton NJ, and those participants who I could not identify beyond their eBay handles (igorxa, argyle-, ccalzone, jchammons and katrus), I say thank you from myself and my family. You caught the spirit of my auction and responded well beyond my wildest dreams. I sincerely hope that you and yours will enjoy a beautiful holiday and wish you the very best of new years.

The proceeds from the auction have not yet been spent, though they do have a dedicated purpose. We had our own friends and family in for a holiday visit so did not have the opportunity to complete our holiday mission yet. The money from the auction will be used for ice skating by myself, my Lovely Wife and our three children. Here in the Atlanta area there are not a whole lot of opportunities for skating. There is a seasonal rink in downtown Duluth and the $42 will just about cover skate rental and rink fees for the five of us (with maybe enough left over for some hot cocoa). This is something that we would simply not be doing without this unexpected good fortune. You've given us a very wonderful gift - a celebration of family and fun with an experience that will be new and special for our children (and hopefully not too hard on the fannies of myself and Lovely Wife).

Once again, our sincerest thanks go out to you along with our wishes for a wonderful holiday and a spectacular new year.

And there were in the same country shepherds, abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them! And they were sore afraid ... And the angel said unto them, "Fear not! For, behold, I bring you tidings of great joy, which shall be to all my people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ, the Lord."

"And this shall be a sign unto you: Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger." And suddenly, there was with the angel a multitude of the Heavenly Host praising God, and saying, "Glory to God in the Highest, and on Earth peace, and good will toward men."

Posted by: Jim at 08:05 AM | Comments (9) | Add Comment
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Would you like to conduct the Bestofme Symphony?

Starting January 13, the Bestofme Symphony will be going on tour. There will be a couple of requirements for the conductors:

  • No censorship - If you receive spammish entries, flooding entries, entries that you find reprehensible, etceteras, check with me. The default is everything goes and the decision to stifle anything will be my burden.

  • The first post of the Bestofme Symphony (the first chair?) should be a submission by you for a post in another weblog's archives.

  • Post the Symphony on the scheduled date.

And that's it. Not too bad, is it? I suggest keeping it easy to read and navigate but however you want to format it, theme it, etceteras is totally up to you. During the week before your Symphony, all submissions sent to the regular submission address will be forwarded to the email address you specify. You may also email people, post, comment or otherwise make a pest of yourself to drum up support for your performance. When you've posted the Symphony you need to email me so I can send out notices to people on the reminder list. I also send an email to the people who've submitted posts that week and it would be nice if you did the same thing but it's not a requirement.

Anybody still interested? Comment here with the date you would like to conduct the Symphony. First come, first served. Reserved dates are the 26th (Jun 7) and 52nd (Dec 6) performances - anything else is fair game. Don't forget to include the email address that you want submissions forwarded to. If you're leary of posting that in the comments then send it to me via email.






























Date Conductor
Dec 29 Snooze Button Dreams
Jan 6 Snooze Button Dreams
Jan 13 ??
Jan 20 ??
Jan 27 ??
Feb 2 ??

Posted by: Jim at 07:18 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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December 22, 2003

My surreal secret Santa

Lovely Wife is out with Dopple-G's wife and their friend from N'Orleans. I was sitting at the dining room table on the lap top (actually I'm doing it again right now!) working on a deliverable for tomorrow and the doorbell rang. I figured it was our next door neighbor and sauntered over to the door and opened it. It was not our next door neighbor.

It was a man. A man I've never seen before. On the tall side, good looking in that all-American quarterback slash valedictorian way. I opened the screen door to shake hands (it's a Southern thing) and said "Hi, what can I do for you?" He replied "I've got a special delivery here for the Peacock Family from a Secret Santa" with a huge and very friendly smile on his face.

Now my mind was in a tizzy at this point. First, when I'm in writing mode my brain tends to get into what I'm writing. Getting my brain functioning in the real world is not a "flick the switch back on" type of deal. Second, the doorbell never but never rings at night. Third, it's some guy who I've never seen at my doorstep. Fourth, there was a car that drove into our dead end street last night, parked across from my house (there are no houses on that side of the street), turned his lights off and sat there idling. After a few minutes he drove over to our side of the street, still with the lights off. Lovely Wife went inside citing the freakiness of the situation. I finished my smoke and started down the walk to see what was up. He drove off down the street with the lights still off.

So what glimmers are sparking in my mind at this moment have little similarity with the situation at hand. He seemed to catch on that I wasn't exactly catching on. With another smile he handed me an envelope. I recovered enough to say "Oh, who is it from?" He gave a friendly laugh and said "Can't say that. It's a secret." Well, duh, Jim. Secret Santa, hello? I thanked him and we exchanged happy holidays and he walked back to his car.

I walked back inside and opened up the envelope. It's a nice holiday card with money in it.

This is just amazing. A Secret Santa delivery to my house. From who? I can't imagine. Rather, I can't help but imagine. Is it someone out there? Thank you, if it is. Heck, thank you whether it's a reader or not. This is so completely unexpected that I'm just flabbergasted. Totally stunned.

Wow.

Posted by: Jim at 08:52 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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You might be a redneck if...

Or maybe he is a muppet?

(Hat tip to Dopple-G)

UPDATE: Link was misformated when originally posted. It's fixed now. Go see the redneck in all his hairy glory.

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Site designs

The first two designs from Robert at XSet are up and viewable. Please take a moment to check them over and comment on the looks:

Elegance (black/white)
Dreamy (blue/orange)

Also, still taking feedback on the design done by The Bartender:

Madfish Stylings

There'll be one more style by Robert coming up and eventually we'll have a nicely skinnable site for your viewing pleasure.

Posted by: Jim at 02:40 PM | Comments (13) | Add Comment
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Senator Clinton's aircraft crashed!

Senator Hillary Clinton was flying cross-country last night and had to make a crash landing in Texas. She was unhurt but reporters were able to get a picture of the wreckage before it was hauled away (in extended entry). more...

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Christmas is Coming

Accent on coming. This is why I love Christmas Carols.

(Hat tip to Dopple-G)

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Bestofme Symphony, 3rd performance

The third performance of the Bestofme Symphony has an astounding 19 participants and 21 submissions. Why is that astounding (since the previous Symphony had 27 participants)? Because not only is this the holiday week but I did no agressive recruitment. For the innaugural performance I hit up the people on my blogroll. Last week I emailed people who had participated in the Carnival of the Vanities. This week I did nothing but post reminders on my own site and send email to the people on my reminder list. I believe that in only its 3rd week, the Bestofme Symphony has gathered enough momentum to keep itself flying (with your continued support, of course)!

Submit to the Symphony: Want to be a part of next week's edition? Check out this post for submission info.

Spread the word: Webloggers, please consider putting up a post linking to this Symphony. The faster this becomes a well known weblog meme, the sooner I'll stop begging you to link to it. See? We all win if you link.

Email Reminders: If you'd like to be sent a reminder about the Symphony, drop me a line at this address. It's not a mailing list, just me sending out friendly little reminders. There'll be one on Thursday or Friday to remind you to submit for the next symphony and one on Monday with a link to the freshly posted Symphony.

Without further ado, I present the third edition of the Bestofme Symphony: more...

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December 19, 2003

Does this make me French?

I'm linking to this post, which is moderately humorus though by no means overtly link worthy, in order to appease Bunsen.

There, that's two links, Bunsen. Now dance, monkey! Dance!

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Happy Anniversary!

Happy Anniversary, my Lovely Wife.

The five years that we have been together have been the most fantastic of my life. It hasn't all been roses of course; we've had our fights and disagreements, our problems to work out and things to fix. But for the first time in my life I am in a relationship so completing that there was never an option not to work it out or not to fix things. You are the other half of me and I can't even conceive of life being anything else but together with you.

You've motivated me, inspired me, shown me and guided me. I am so much of a greater person since you came into my life. Thank you for letting me be me but helping me to see just what "me" could be.

You've given me three children who I couldn't love more (despite the little one being so evil) and a life that I wouldn't trade for anything in the world.

You are my love and my life, my heart, my wife. Happy Anniversary, Sweetie.

*KISS* *HUG* *NIBBLE*

PS - Sorry about using your last Cubis thingy. Maybe you should try it again. And how is Topsy playing these days?

Posted by: Jim at 09:14 AM | Comments (8) | Add Comment
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December 18, 2003

Don't Lie To Me

I loved my last job. I mean, it was a seriously kick ass job. I was the Executive Assistant and I set my own tasks, answered only to the President and supported the various Vice Presidents and company officers. I was also the Internal Sales Trainer and filled in at that position during the periods it was vacant. I was also the Network and Communications Assistant. The second part of that meant I managed the phone and email systems. The first part was a bit of a misnomer as the Network Admin was a Unix guy so I was the defacto Network Admin for the Windows computers, servers and supported systems. I also handled analysis and defect tracking for Quality Assurance, wrote apps and databases for QA, the Lab, Sales and Accounts Receivable in addition to scheduling and setting up the Christmas Party (yes, we had an actual Christmas party, not a non-denominational winter get together) and the summer picnic.

I know what y'all are thinking right now. An office of 10 people where I was the Jack of All Trades. No, my friends, it was a manufacturing company with a couple hundred employees and over $10 million in annual sales. I just worked like a dog in my many roles. And I loved it. There was always something to do and always something to learn. I was depended upon by the majority of the non-union staff and a goodly portion of the union boys (and gals) as well. It paid squat but we made do with the salary and I was compensated with just about any training class I could at least partially justify.

So why did I leave this job that I liked so well? I'm glad you asked. Partially it was because we were aiming to move down south. Partially it was because that meager salary was getting closer and closer to not quite covering things. Partially it was their fault. You see, they destroyed my faith in the management and direction of the company. They lied to me, y'all. more...

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Send in those Bestofme Symphony submissions

Don't forget to send in your submissions for the Bestofme Symphony! Submissions received through midnight on Sunday (Eastern Standard Time) will be included in Monday's Symphony. Anything received after the cutoff will go into the following week's edition.

Symphony Archives

Submission Address

Submission Guidelines & Symphony Info

Webloggers: How about some link love?

All y'all: Remember that you don't have to be the author of a post in order to submit it.

Thanks for your support!

Posted by: Jim at 02:07 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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How much is a memory worth?

Mine costs five and a half million.

Mom lives in Arizona. She used to live there with my Auntie and Dopple-G and his sister. I lived with them for a couple of months and visited other times. One of the cool things we would do was to drive up to Tortilla Flat. It was old and small and incredibly cool. The smallest town in America to have a Federal Post Office!

There was a song we made up about Tortilla Flat. Actually I think my cousin started it up (that's Dopple-G's sister, not Dopple-G himself. Let's just call her Dopplette-G to avoid confusion) and the rest of us just might have added bits to it. I can't remember much of it except there was a line about "They've got roaches in the corners" and the refrain was "If you don't know where you're at it's Tortilla Flat". No, there weren't any roaches and I always knew exactly where I was when we were there. There were only a couple of buildings so it was hard to get lost. It was a fun song though.

I remember there being dollars all over the walls and ceiling in the restaurant. It was like wallpaper. Tourists would write their name on a bill and the proprieter would tack it up. And they had the coolest stuff to buy (I was a kid then, remember). Rattlesnake heads, stuffed coyotes, cactuses. I bought an egg (like the pantyhose used to come in) with a pack of seeds in it and a picture of a giant suguaro cactus on it. Grew that thing for years and it got to about 2 inches high. I think I've still got the can of jackalope milk that I bought there too. Probably cheese by now.

We had a lot of fun there. A lot of memories were made. And now they're selling it.

Anybody got a couple million I could borrow?

(Warned of impending sale by this article)

Posted by: Jim at 01:35 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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December 17, 2003

I Wish They All Could Be Throat Yogurt Girls

This above slogan is for Helen, who introduced us to the term "throat yogurt" today. Slogan courtesy of The Advertising Slogan Generator.

Honorable mention to:

  • Make Throat Yogurt Yours

  • Think Throat Yogurt

  • Out Of The Strong Came Forth Throat Yogurt

  • Drinka Pinta Throat Yogurt A Day

(Link stolen fair und square from DeAnna)

Two Five Points for the first person to comment where I got "fair und square" from.

Update: I had no idea how esoteric "fair und square" was! I know the answer and it took me over a half hour to find it on the web in the wee hours of the morning. Therefore I have increased the points to five and will give hints:

  • Aired in 1975

  • Minor villain in a Saturday morning cartoon

Posted by: Jim at 07:25 PM | Comments (16) | Add Comment
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It's not nice to fool with mother nature

And it's decidedly unwise to tempt Ilyka. Sometimes she takes you up on it. Ever get one of those presents that you're not sure whether it's coal or diamonds? Yeah, me too.

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Oh the thinks we will think!

As amazing as it may seem, searches on a certain nubile yet skanky, rich, braindead, amateur porn star have faded to the point where other search terms stay in my site logs. Yay! And that means I once again have the opportunity to assist people with the wierd ass things that they are looking for and not quite finding on my site.

sun bitches
I'll need more information for this one. The only thing I can determine for sure is that it involves the French in some fashion.

nemo burger
Sounds yummy, I know, but skinning a clown fish is annoyingly difficult. Try tuna or mahi-mahi.

"little people" dwarf etiquette
One hand on the shirt collar, one hand on the belt. And never toss them before they have secured their helmet.

the things I hate about men
What, am I psychic now? How am I supposed to know what you hate about men? I'll hazard a guess that number one is how we get together with our buddies and act "unilaterally", mademoiselle sun bitch.

Posted by: Jim at 11:42 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Carnivalia

The 65th edition of the Carnival of the Vanities is up at Drumwaster's Rants. Go and see all the bloggy goodness.

Posted by: Jim at 08:58 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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"But when I got there, the website was bare,

and so the poor blogger had none."

Kate has been missing for so long her front page is empty. Since the last thing she posted was about going to the doctor I've progressed to a state of genuine worry. Anybody have news on the Venomous One?

UPDATE: Kelley's got news. Kate's alive and doing passably well. She's still suffering from her back injury and has had limited access to phones and internet due to storms. That'll teach me to post before reading my blogroll.

Join me now in a collective sigh of relief.

Posted by: Jim at 08:46 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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What's wrong with this picture?

"Reflections" by Kurt Wenner in the extended entry. Hover your mouse over the picture if you can't figure out what's disturbing you about it. more...

Posted by: Jim at 07:59 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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