Answer honestly and you will be amazed by my mental prowess as my powerful psychic powers probe the recesses of your mind to extract what you are thinking of. Sorry for all of the math but it is important to set the channels of your inner mind along a path I can interpret. Simply answer the questions below as quickly as possible then follow the instructions.

What is 5 + 1?

What is 3 + 3?

What is 2 + 4?

What is 1 + 5?

What is 4 + 2?

Say the word "SIX" out loud as fast as possible for 15 seconds.

What is the first vegetable you can think of?

Click here to see your vegetable

I also know about that thing you did last Tuesday.

(Hat tip to Auntie N)

Posted by: Jim at 02:59 PM | Comments (18) | Add Comment
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The East Point (Georgia) Police Department is on the cutting edge of law enforcement with this progressive and budgetary friendly initiative.

(Hat tip to Dopple-G)

Posted by: Jim at 11:05 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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I can't believe that I forgot to mention that today is Crappy Post Day*!

I suspended Crappy Post Day over the holidays as it would have been an almost daily occurence and I didn't want to rename the blog to Snooze Button Crap. But since the holiday fury is over and the out of town guests are all departed (as in "gone", not "dead") I've actually started writing real posts again, which means the return of Crappy Post Day. Yay!

* Crappy Post Day is what happens when I haven't the time to write up an actual amusing or meaninful post using my very own prodigious writing talents. All you get on Crappy Post Day are links to other places and stuff fed to me by my many contributors (mainly Lovely Wife and Dopple-G).

Posted by: Jim at 09:23 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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Proper handling of hazardous substances is no joke. Just look at the possible repercussions of treating this one the wrong way: more...

Posted by: Jim at 08:41 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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So whatever did happen to Beavis, that icon of wastrel youth, foil to Butthead and whacker off in tool sheds? He's alive and well in Oregon.

(Hat tip to Dopple-G)

Posted by: Jim at 08:33 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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"Thee" being Howard Dean, of course. Don't worry, this blog is not in danger of becoming a political soap box. I just had a conversation with a Dean supporter that made me actually think of why I don't like him, both as a person and as a candidate for the presidency. Don't worry, it's a short list.

1. I'm still pissed that he called me a gun lovin', fag hatin', racist, religious fanatic.


2. I don't like the fact that he wants to triple my personal federal tax burden.


3. He's a class-A hypocrite. I'm talking Hillary level.


4. He's a socialist.

I could forgive any of these (especially the last one, since it's totally made up) except #2. Stay away from my money, you stinkin' blighter.

Posted by: Jim at 09:48 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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There's a message board as you come into the office. They'll put up things like "Welcome Company X" when we have visitors coming in or "Product Y Classes Are Being Held In The Training Room" and stuff like that. When there's nobody due to visit and no other message to be displayed they put up quotations. Some are good, some aren't. I have a problem with the one that is up right now:

The biggest room in the world is the room for improvement.

Isn't this comparable to saying "Our product blows monkey chunks. We have a shit load to do before we can pass this crap off as worthwhile"?

Posted by: Jim at 07:49 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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Rich Bushnell has a new site. His Bowling For Truth site is a fantastic piece of work dedicated to exposing the dirty underside of Michael Moore's award winning travesty. The new site is all about Al Franken and shows us the blatant lies in Franken's latest work of unintentional fiction.

I despise Al Franken and Rich's site goes a goodly way towards showing you why. It's not because of his politics or his opinions, it's because he's a vicious smear artist who has such little respect for his own audience that he'll blatantly lie straight to their faces in order to make his points.

Posted by: Jim at 04:54 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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The Bestofme Symphony is up and in fine fettle at Ilyka Damen's place. Wow, she kicked ass with this one. Go and enjoy the best Monday read in the Blogosphere.

Would you like to host the Symphony? Send me a note.

Submit to the Symphony: Want to be a part of next week's edition? Check out this post for submission info. Entries should always be sent to bestofme@jpeacock.net regardless of who the Symphony host is.

Spread the word: Webloggers, give Ilyka a round of applause and some link love. I'll thank you, she'll thank you and your readers will thank you. That's a lot of thank yous, you know. Hard to pass up a bargain like that, isn't it?

Email Reminders: If you'd like to be sent a reminder about the Symphony, drop me a line at this address. It's not a mailing list, just me sending out friendly little reminders. There'll be one on Thursday or Friday to remind you to submit for the next Symphony and one on Monday with the location of the newly posted Symphony.

Posted by: Jim at 04:28 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Oh, lovely, lovely cheese. Everything is better with cheese. Except perhaps ice cream but the verdict is still out on that one.

T'other night Lovely Wife made mac 'a cheese. This is not the blue box dinner I speak of. Such prepared cheese like food product is anathema to the palate. No, I speak of true lucious homemade mac 'a cheese, wherein the macaroni serves merely as a vehicle to carry the delicious and savory cheese.

Why is this news, you ask? Because I am the cheese meister of the household. I am the undisputed champion chef for cheesy goodness of the macaroni variety. My mac 'a cheese is of a world class. Check that. My mac 'a cheese is beyond that. There is no mac 'a cheese anywhere, prepared by anybody, that approaches the cheesy perfection of my dish. Mac 'a cheese is way at the top of my comfort foods list. It's created with love and many years of "touch". I make the hell out of mac 'a cheese.

And Lovely Wife was going to attempt to follow my recipe to duplicate my gastronomical perfection? Let us just say that the recipe is...less than detailed: more...

Posted by: Jim at 11:34 AM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
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1 Bugs Bunny to Elmer Fudd in ... erm can't remember the episode name but I would like to thank the 4 year old we look after every saturday for insisting on watching the same Bugs video every single time she comes over and therefore ensuring that every inch of the dialogue is embedded in my skull ...

Posted by: Robert at January 12, 2004 03:47 AM (kXZI6)

2 Can't name the source, but this: Add in 1/4 cup of shredded mozzarella cheese and stir until it is all melted and the sauce has a uniform consistency. Or FONTINA. F-o-n-t-i-n-a. Terrific melting cheese. Like velvet, but better-tasting. Homemade macaroni & cheese makes Kraft look like such a pussy. In fact, it's insulting to good pussy to say that. Okay: It makes Kraft look like a syphilitic transvestite hooker. I take that back. Too insulting to syphilitic transvestite hookers. Just personally, I also think the cheddar cheese should be sharp. That mild stuff is what you put into the kids' tacos. But maybe that's just me.

Posted by: ilyka at January 12, 2004 03:56 AM (0vVpC)

3 Oh, sharp indeed. Very good point there. I didn't think to mention that as I don't really consider mild cheddar to be cheddar. Rob's got it. It follows Bugs saying that only a dirty rat would shoot a guy in the back and Elmer shooting him and saying "Okay, so I'm a dirty rat" after which Bugs pops up with a wedge of cheese and shoves it in his mouth while saying the "have some cheese" line. Possibly my favorite cartoon clip of all time. Points to Rob!

Posted by: Jim at January 12, 2004 04:35 AM (fkewd)

4 Fontina....there it is again.I jusy CAN'T find it here ANYWHERE! Sharp Cheddar is a must,try extra sharp. Kraft is nasty,the kids don't even like it.But get this...OTHER peoples kids don't like the homemade ones and want that Kraft shit. Kill the wabbit!

Posted by: LW at January 12, 2004 07:25 AM (fkewd)

5 Strawberry CHEESE cake icecream !!!!!

Posted by: Linda at January 12, 2004 08:26 AM (3XIYy)

6 Like your Lovely Wife, I too made homemade mac and cheese on Saturday (you can't get the boxed kind here). I don't use cheddar, I use a European white cheddary type one called Heregard or Greve. And I add some gorgonzola, some Dijon mustard, and a dash of nutmeg. I'm telling you, the stuff is better than sex. Seriously.

Posted by: Helen at January 12, 2004 10:28 AM (biCTO)

7 My second-favorite grocery store memory was when I heard some guy asking where to find macaroni and cheese and I told him that macaroni was in aisle six and cheese was in the dairy case on the back wall. He was totally mystified by this.

Posted by: triticale at January 12, 2004 05:50 PM (YmQkS)

Hide Comments | Add Comment

Or at least get it off of Blog*Spot. So far almost 50 weblogs have joined the Great Blog*Spot Exodus. This is one hell of a deal. Free hosting for three years and experienced MT veterans to get your weblog set up. The only money expense is domain registration and that's a measly $5.99.

What are you [*cough* Ryan *cough*] waiting for? You [*cough* Ryan *cough*] know who you [*cough* Ryan *cough*] are.

UPDATE: There's a little sense of urgency here too, as the free hosting offer ends on January 21.

POINTS: 2 points for the first person to identify my source for the title of this post. No searchifying!

Posted by: Jim at 11:22 PM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
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The Snark are running over at Electric Venom. Better bring some heavy gauge equipment though as it's a sizeable herd this week.

Posted by: Jim at 08:36 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Get those submissions in for the first Symphony to be hosted outside of Snooze Button Dreams. The Bestofme Symphony road tour starts this coming Monday with Ilyka Damen. Submissions received through midnight on Sunday (Eastern Standard Time) will be included in Monday's Symphony. Anything received after the cutoff will go into the following week's edition.

Submission Address

Submission Guidelines & Symphony Info

Host a Bestofme Symphony. The tour schedule is filling up nicely but there are many concert dates still available.

Symphony Archives

Webloggers: How about a little linky love to help drum up submissions for Ilyka's Symphony? She's just a girl so she needs all the help we can give her. [Pardon me for a moment while I dodge that uppercut.]

All y'all: You can submit any post, whether it's yours or not and whether you're a blogger or not. It only has to be good (in your opinion) and 2 months old.

Thanks for your support!

Posted by: Jim at 02:53 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Bacon has a hard time with the "V" sound and he tends to avoid it or substitute different sounds for it. Instead of "vanilla" he uses "Tamilla" (the "N" changes to an "M" because, let's face it, "tamilla" just sounds better than "tanilla"). I expect that if he ever tried to go for "Veritable" it would come out like "Terrible" and I don't even want to think what he'd do to "Vertiginous" or "Versimilitude". But give the kid a break, he's only 3.

I myself had problems mastering some phonemes when I was a lad. Specifically I couldn't do the "TR" sound as in "Strum" or "Triangle". Those came out as "Fum" and "Fangle" respectively as I tended to substitute an "F" for the "TR" and whatever might come before it.

You see where this is going? Of course you do.

It was a bit of an embarassment to Mom when we were in a fairly nice restaurant, seated by a window and enjoying a fine meal, when my small but eagle-keen eyes spotted quite the cool lorry driving by. This was a car carrier and my little brain was very excited over the large vehicle carrying an assortment of autos.

"Momma! Fuck! Momma! Fuck!" I cried joyously as I pointed out of the window.

"James Robert! Stop that this instant" replied my less than thrilled mother.

"No, look Momma! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!" my small but increasingly voluble voice rang out. I stood up on my chair pointing excitedly as the truck motored out of sight, belting out ever more strident yells of "Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!"

"James Robert Peacock! You sit down this instant! Oh, my sweet Lord!" The last part was somewhat muffled as her face had lowered into her hands by this time.

As the truck had passed from view I obliged her, trailing off with one last "You see fuck?" as I reclaimed my seat. Mom didn't finish her dinner that night if I recall correctly.

I'm sure you can see now why I'm not overly concerned with Bacon's "V" thing.

Posted by: Jim at 01:57 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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Fish n chips' UK credentials under fire

LONDON (Reuters) - The reputation of fish and chips as Britain's national dish has taken a battering after a historian said the classic meal originated elsewhere.

Ye gads! If not from the fair island nation then where, pray tell, where? Please don't say France.

Panikos Panayi, history professor at Leicester's De Montfort University, said his studies had shown deep-fried battered fish and potatoes were a mixture of French "pommes frites"...

I said NOT to say France! Bloody nubber!

...and fried fish dishes brought by Jewish immigrants.

Ah ha! I am so going to hold this over everybody who ever told me they didn't like kosher food.

"Over time it has become anglicised," he told Reuters. "It has almost become part of Britain."

It's certainly become part of the blood vessels of Britain.

Panayi, who is studying how immigration and globalisation have affected the British diet, said food brought in by immigrants often evolved once it reached the country's shores.

So there you have it. Brit culture is really just a combination of Frog and Hebrew. Might as well put down that pint and grab up a bottle of wine, mates.

Posted by: Jim at 01:24 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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I have the best sex on buses and subways.

Posted by: Jim at 10:29 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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Q: What do you get when you put 50 lesbians and 50 politicians in a room together? more...

Posted by: Jim at 10:28 AM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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The Letter of the Day is was "U".

"U" is for Unlawful. Some of the unlawful things that students are getting arrested for include wearing a shirt that is too short and turning off the lights in the bathroom.

A local court official says only 2 percent of students referred to the juvenile justice system had committed a serious offense, such as assaulting a teacher.

So 98% of the things that these kids are getting arrested are for the things I used to get sent to detention for? I guess "U" is also for "Unbelievable".

Also see the Joanne Jacobs post that the CS&W post refers to. The ultimate source is a NYT article and I don't link those because they require registration.

Posted by: Jim at 10:19 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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It's time for the Cheddar X! more...

Posted by: Jim at 09:07 AM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
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No I do NOT hate you, your religion, your race, your sexual disposition, your nationality (except those misfortunate enough to be French) or any other minority slice you lay claim to.

Actually the French comment above is especially topical here as the email I'm responding to was indeed from a froggy. Why do we Americans, particularly this American, hate the French? The short answer is "We don't" or at a bare minimum "I don't". The somewhat longer answer is "Because you are cheese eating surrender monkeys" but that is way overused so I'm not going to go there. more...

Posted by: Jim at 08:36 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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