LeeAnn is starting up a new meme called Monday Memory. She'll posit a question for people to answer. Sort of like the Coffee Talk lady did when she was getting viklempt(sp?). The first question is What Thanksgiving dinner is your family still talking about?"

Well, I don't have too many specific memories of Thanksgivings with one exception. I was spending Thanksgiving in New York with my Dad (parents divorced, Mom in Ocean City, Dad in Buffalo). Thanksgiving was at Uncle Jim's farm in Springville. That's rural country with long, long roads and many miles between anything you'd bother to look at. People drive fast. Very fast. (By the way, that's one of the two uncles I'm named after.) more...

Posted by: Jim at 09:42 AM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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Everybody, this is Lovely Wife. Lovely Wife, this is everybody.

I finally exposed myself to her over the weekend. No, not that way - I do that on a hourly regular basis. I mean I finally gave up on trying to get the blog exactly the way I wanted it before inviting her in. Being anal retentive as I am I realized that I could be facing retirement before I actually get it "just right". And besides, if I can't show some warts to my wife who can I show them to? And more importantly, would that person pay me anything for a wart showing?

Anyway, she loves the blog and my near godliness has been reinforced in her eyes. Hopefully she'll be a regular reader and commenter. Who knows? Maybe I'll even get her to start her own weblog eventually.

Everyboy say "hi" now and welcome my sweet baby to the wide world of weblogging.

Posted by: Jim at 04:25 AM | Comments (15) | Add Comment
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1 Hello, Lovely Wife! Please excuse my language here as sometimes I get carried away. I will try real hard to be a nice boy from now on... over here anyway!

Posted by: The Bartender at November 24, 2003 05:11 AM (9bPNF)

2 Hello and welcome! It's nice to meet you, we've heard so much about you! Does this mean we have to stop with the Jim-and-Cow-of-his-dreams jokes? Cause we weren't talking about you, I swear. We are really discussing bovines. Mostly because we try to find humor under a rock. Sorry. And I am the one who comments here who lives in Sweden, is mother to Luuk, and is usually causing some kind of HTML chaos. Your dear husband always fixes it. You should keep him, he must be handy around a web site!

Posted by: Helen at November 24, 2003 05:28 AM (k78uM)

3 Welcome LW. Now can you please do something about that cow photo.

Posted by: Simon at November 24, 2003 05:34 AM (UKqGy)

4 Hello evrybody, so the cat is out of the bag (hat?) and I am exposed,yes,I am a cow (ops!).You may keep ripping the jokes.The picture....I've tried,believe me I did but once a man is in love,there is nothing you can do about it,I just can't get him to remove my picture (have you ever seen our kids??). If I may add about Luuk:I wonder if any of you would be willing to "mail" arround my children,too.That way I would be able to have some time for myself and start the suggested "own weblog"?:-) Enough sarcasm (I am famous for it,just asked G,he hates me for it). And Dear Hubby...how about you replace that cow photo with the one where you flash your naked behind in front of your MOTHERS camera?:-))))) Simon,thats all I can do for you. Ya'all have a wonderfull day!

Posted by: LW at November 24, 2003 08:43 AM (fkewd)

5 Not fair! That butt picture was from when I was like 5 years old! Or was it last year? So hard to keep these things straight.

Posted by: Jim at November 24, 2003 08:56 AM (IOwam)

6 Yet another innocent soul sacrificed to the Glog Bods! We're very glad to have you, LW And for the record, I kinda like the cow pic. Except those cow veins... kinda creepy.

Posted by: LeeAnn at November 24, 2003 09:15 AM (HxCeX)

7 Jim,I've got a "fresh" one (from last night or so??).:-) LeeAnn..those vains...three kids and a hubby will do that to ya.So just you k now for future references.O:-/

Posted by: LW at November 24, 2003 10:39 AM (fkewd)

8 Greeting Lovely Wife. I've always thought that Jim Jim's blog needed a woman's touch. Or a woman's bitch slap...you know, whatever works.

Posted by: Don at November 24, 2003 12:24 PM (e6au8)

9 I am not sure how far I would be able to do the bitch slapping or else.People tempt (or elect) to forget that I have to live with this person for the next ??? years.:-)

Posted by: LW at November 24, 2003 01:18 PM (fkewd)

10 Hi LW, nice to see (read?) you! Wow,??? years is a long time. I wish you all the luck in the world, as my recent divorce sadly came after only ??. I had so hoped it could last...

Posted by: rick at November 24, 2003 04:30 PM (oA/Vb)

11 I am sorry to hear that.:-( If it helps...I had to work myself through a few "miss marriages" (not that we actually were married but anyways..) before this one came along.The trick lies in the domination fo your "better" half. O:=)))

Posted by: LW at November 24, 2003 10:48 PM (fkewd)

12 LW, on reflection, if it's that cow photo or Jim's backside, let's just leave the cow. Please.

Posted by: Simon at November 25, 2003 03:34 AM (UKqGy)

13 Hmmm...domination...LW, you give some good advice! Now all I need is a well-behaved submissive.

Posted by: rick at November 25, 2003 09:48 AM (oA/Vb)

14 They are all over the place.ICQ,MSN Messenger...etc..:-))))

Posted by: LW at November 25, 2003 01:33 PM (fkewd)

15 Greetings LW! My BSU (Beloved Spousal Unit) is aware of my blog but figures bloggers are like those "cat people, the folks with 37 cats in their trailer." So I don't get any respect about mine. And Jim, we must be related, 'cause there's a bunch of pictures of my brothers that are full moons! Not me mind you, my brothers...

Posted by: Nate at November 25, 2003 07:59 PM (H27u0)

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Madfish Willie's is starting a "send me your posts" LinkLoveFest!

Tales From The Champagne Room!
[Remember: There is no sex in The Champagne Room!]

Read through the previous posts of The Champagne Room to get an idea of what he's looking for.

To be linked in The Champagne Room post just e-mail the link(s) to your post(s) by Saturday 12:00 noon and you'll be included in the weekly LinkLoveFest on Sunday.

Posted by: Jim at 06:55 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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Made one last change for the collapsable lists, hopefully they'll work for Mozillans now. If not, I haven't a clue where else to go with them. But the links are still there for them, they just don't get them nice and tight and collapsed, so I'm going to keep them either way.

Speaking of collapsable lists, I've moved "Best of" to a collapsed list and expanded it with entries from other categories. There's only one recipe post right now but there will be more. And of course there is only one Bageldonut and so long as we stay in God's good graces there shall never be another.

I had to get rid of that graphic for the Guest Map. Any time I saw this site it was there flashing at me. I despise animated graphics on web sites. Flash is good. Animated gifs blow. So now it's just a link and will get less attention but oh well, such is life. I'd rather have less people sign it and have it not annoy me than vice versa.

The Recent Posts section was removed as well. It only duplicates the posts on the front page and last time I asked nobody admitted to using it. Clutter. Gone.

And I finally added Survivor to the sidebar. Woo Hoo! It was my intent from the beginning of the game but I am horribly, horribly lazy.

My wishlist is linked too. Not that I'm expecting loads of presents but this way you can check out the wierdness that is on my list to Santa.

Last but not least, the Ecosystem doohicky is there too. Don't know if I'll keep that or not but I figured I'd give it a shot. I don't like the way it shows up on multilines unnecessarily. Anybody know a way to get that so it's just a regular line of text instead of 4 lines?

Posted by: Jim at 10:03 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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Could all y'all Mozilla users let me know if the collapsable lists in my sidebar are working now? That's the stuff under the "Linkage" section.

Thanks!

Posted by: Jim at 10:27 PM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
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Everybody wave goodbye to Jeff as he doggy paddles away from Survivor Blogosphere Island. Jeff was the second elimination in our little blog game and once again the vote was unanimous (excepting Jeff's vote as he voted to kick me off -the jerk).

Though he's off of the island he should have some consolation that he's at least done his part in helping me to my ultimate victory.

And to my island ladies: Please note that 100% of the people who have voted to kick me off of the island are no longer with us. Remember this when contemplating future votes.

Posted by: Jim at 02:24 PM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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What? You need more of a description than that? Okay, how about "Dancing purple sumo hippo? Just watch it. You won't be disappointed. Unless you've got sumodansohippophobia or something.

(Hat tip to Dopple-G)

Posted by: Jim at 12:37 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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But wait! That's not how much it costs, it's how much Joseph Tomaino (aka Rod Stiffenpants) was supposed to be awarded when he sued The Male Sexual Dysfunction Institute for giving him that 72 hour stiffy.

FREEHOLD, N.J. - A man who had to endure a three-day erection after penile surgery was awarded $3 million by a jury two years ago...

[Sigh] I used to live in Freehold. Why is it that everywhere I lived there are kooks in the news? Terrorists in Lackawana (Buffalo), Berkley is freak central, Cubs in Chicago. It's like all of the places I leave are cursed. Anyway...

...but an appeals court ordered a Monmouth County judge to lower the award.

Sanity! Thank you, appeals court! But wait, there's more.

So Superior Court Judge Alexander Lehrer did — by one penny.

Hah, hah, hah. Good one, Lehrer! I bet the appeals court was quite amused.

In a decision written this week, the appeals panel reversed the judgment and sent the case back with orders for another judge to reduce the award, citing Lehrer's "demonstrated unwillingness to comply with our instructions."

Ever been bitch slapped by the appeals court before, Alex?

The appeals court had ordered Lehrer, who presided over the trial, to cut the $3 million, saying the size of the award "shocked the court's conscience"

Shocked the hell out of my concience too. The news story gets confusing at this point as it is intimated that the 3 day flagpole wasn't the problem - the guy is impotent for life. But, didn't he go to this place because he was impotent? As far as I can figure using this lowsy reporting job, Tomaino couldn't get it up so he went for help. They fixed him enough to give his girlfriend 3 days of heaven but then he couldn't get it up again. So he sues and gets $3 million?

I hope I'm seriously misreading this.

Posted by: Jim at 11:16 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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I almost spewed when I read that misheard Beatles lyric this morning.

So what is "colitas" anyway? As in "Warm smell of colitas, rising up through the air" from Hotel California? Like Dopple-G, I had always thought it was a desert flower of some kind. The Straight Dope gives us the answer in hillarious fashion. To cut to the chase, it's herb (the fun to smoke variety) and the Hotel California is a metaphor for cocaine addiction. But definitely read the Straight Dope - it's a side splitter.

Posted by: Jim at 09:32 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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I usually have a lot going on but only part of my brain engaged on whatever I'm doing. My stream of conciousness has a lot of creeks branching off. Now Dopple-G is another story. Instead of a stream of conciousness he has a white water rapids. But I digress.

To make sure that I don't forget any of these thought streams before I've had a chance to explore them I leave myself notes. I have a post-it note dispenser on my desk at home. At work I have a steno pad. There's a dry erase board on my refrigerator. I've got an Ideas.txt file on my desktop. I leave notes all over, like rabbit droppings. Hey, good analogy there - we'll call them "thought nuggets".

The dry erase board gave me a pause this morning. I haven't cleaned the ideas off of it in a while so it has accumulated a little pile of nuggets. I had also used it to put down some recipe parts while I was cooking. The end result is peculiar to say the least:

Solar powered kids
325 degrees
10 to 12 minutes
If they aren't screaming, you're not doing it right.

Sounds like a recipe out of The Hansel & Grettle Cookbook. I better get that cleared off before Mom flies down. Sheesh.

Posted by: Jim at 09:09 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Munuviana is well represented in the first competition for the coveted title of King of the Blogs. Madfish Willie is on the judging panel and Anger Management is one of the first crop of contestants. Don made it just under the wire as contestant blogs need to be smaller than a Large Mammal in the TTLB Ecosystem.

Good luck Don!

The first entries are already up. Check em out here.

Posted by: Jim at 06:42 AM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
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Cheddar X, that is. It's a Cheesy Movie Friday (in the extended post). more...

Posted by: Jim at 05:05 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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More importantly, how many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? Or how about a question that can actually be answered: How much is inside a bottle of magic shell? The world may never know the answer to the Tootsie Pop question but the folks at Cockeyed do a good job of takling the Magic Shell one.

Simply put, magic shell is awesome. It is ACTION FOOD! It forms a hard shell when put on top of ice cream, which protects it from burrowing insects and mites. It is the perfect way to make ice cream more fun & your classmates jealous.

(Link credit to Curt)

Posted by: Jim at 05:00 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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The Letter of the Day is was "K".

"K" is for klutz. Our favorite klutz has been out of commission for a week. Everybody go pester her until she comes back.

Posted by: Jim at 04:48 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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...Helen. She's won immunity in the second round of Survivor: Blogosphere Edition. Now the five of us will vote off one of our number (excepting Helen, of course) bringing us ever closer to my eventual triumph.

Anybody want to buy my vote? I come cheap!

Posted by: Jim at 10:40 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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Don't you think that somewhere in the design and manufacturing process, someone who had a finger on this from the original conceptual artist to the engineers to the mold crafters to the manufacturer to the last guy who tightened a screw, somebody would have caught enough of a clue to step back and say "What the FUCK!?" more...

Posted by: Jim at 09:33 AM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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Buggre Alle This is in my daily reads now. I've been checking out Joey's blog since it showed up in my referral logs a couple days ago but this post earns an instant slot in the sidebar.

Posted by: Jim at 09:14 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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How in the world does a car like this get built? Did the design team meet and decide that the criteria would be:

• Too small to use as an SUV. No, make that too small to use as a vehicle pretty much period.


• As absolutely dangerous as possible. (Yeah, we can combine a high center of gravity with plastic sidewalls! Yeah, yeah! We'll call them "dent resistant" or something. Sweet!)


• Uglier than an Aztec.

It's like the unholy offspring of a Mini Cooper and a Suzuki Samurai.

Posted by: Jim at 06:48 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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Mr. Rhodes is on the road today but he left a present: The Long Distance Lesbian. What an amazing little story. Join Ryan as he embarks on a long distance relationship that gets peeled like an onion layer by layer until the rotted heart is revealed. Very touching and very well written.

Posted by: Jim at 06:39 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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The Letter of the Day is was "J".

"J" is for Jewsylvania. In a response to letter from an Egyptian reader, Meryl ponders if a different name might have helped to get the concept of a culturally Jewish state accepted.

Judaism is a religion, yes. But Jews are also a people, a culture. It's the most difficult part of trying to get others to understand what being Jewish entails. I can be an atheist and still be Jewish. Some people say I can convert to Christianity and still be Jewish. (At the very least, I was still born a Jew.) Perhaps if we never called ourselves Jews to begin with, if we had called ourselves Israeli for the past several thousand years, or perhaps if we called Israel "Jewland" or "Jewsylvania" or something like that, people would get that you can be a Jew and not be religious. Egyptians are mostly Muslim, but many are Christian, too. And while we're on that topic: How many practicing Jews do you know of in Egypt? Did you know that it is illegal to practice anything but Islam in Saudi Arabia? When was the last new church built in Egypt? Did you know the laws there forbid a church to be built within a certain distance of a mosque, or if the locals object to it, or if the government decides that there aren't enough Christians to support the building of a new church? Go ahead, try to get a new church built in Cairo.

It's a well written letter and a very well written and elucidating response. Go read and enjoy.

Posted by: Jim at 06:32 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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