A Snarking we will go

You are commanded to go to the Hunting Of The Snark, Week Two o'er at Electric Venom.

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Bowling for Bullshit

Rachel's review of Bowling for Columbine is a must read.

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A nice thick wedge of Cheddar X

1. What's your worst alcohol related experience?
Senior year of high school. Last day before second semester started. A bunch of friends and I procured alcohol for a final day of partying. Not beer, which was our usual, but actual alcohol. We each had our own bottle. Mine was vodka, my preferred "grown up" alcohol. We spent the day at Chestnut Ridge Park toboganning and drinking. Towards the afternoon I was already well beyond inebriated and took a suggestion from one of my friends to try snorting the vodka up my nose. A good portion of the bottle was used in this manner. Much of the rest of the day and almost all of the evening is a blank. I remember trying to dive into a pile of snow. Unfortunately this was a pile left by the plows and was the consistency of granite. I believe that this was when I broke my nose and chipped a tooth. My only other clear memory was sitting in front of another friend's fireplace with a coal bucket in my lap while several people tried to keep me awake and tried to sober me up so they could bring me back home.

I was violently ill the next two days. I missed the first day of the new semester as there was no threat that my parents could issue that would get me out of my bed. The second day I was able to stand and walk slowly as long as I didn't move my head in any manner and they successfully compelled me to go to school. That was the longest and most horrible day of my scholastic career.

I haven't been able to smell vodka since then without becoming sick to my stomach.

2. What's the absolute dumbest thing you've done?
Well if #1 doesn't fit the bill for this question I don't know what would. Oh, wait. Yes I do.

A few years ago Lovely Wife and I went over to a friend's house for a little socializing. He had just completed a drop ceiling in his basement and was showing us around. I had been involved in the bulk of the basement remodelling a few years back so I was feeling a peculiar tweak because this latest improvement hadn't involved me. I was looking for some way to contribute (read: show I was still a real man who could do construction) and picked up on a bit of laminate that was peeling. I grabbed a staple gun to tack it back into place but couldn't squeeze the handle. Now I was going to be embarassed - I couldn't squeeze the damn handle of the staple gun with one hand. I grabbed the base of the staple gun in my left hand for leverage and was able to squeeze the incredibly hard draw and put a staple directly through my left middle finger.

I had not been able to squeeze the staple gun because it was one of the new style that has the action loaded at the opposite end from the traditional ones. I had been holding it backwards with my left hand firmly gripping the business end of the device.

I compounded my idiocy by playing macho man again and taking the staple out myself, with a pair of pliers. Unfortunately the staple has speared a ligament and I seriously messed up mister FU finger when I pulled it out. My stupidity netted me the most painful finger injury of my life (and I've had loads of them to compare to) and an embarrasing story that has haunted me ever since.

3. What is your biggest crossroad in life? That is, what choice, action, non-action most brought you to where you are instead of where you might have been?
Installing ICQ was the biggest single event that changed my life. It blew and I quickly tired of it and the general scumbags that used it but I never got around to uninstalling it. I never bothered to take it out of startup either so I was online and available for chat when a totally random chat request from Lovely Stranger picked me. That first chat led to emails then to phone calls then to a visit. Lovely Stranger then became Lovely Wife and we now have three kids. If I hadn't played with ICQ back in '96 my life would be totally and completely different right now.

4. Who are your favorite bloggers and why?
The short list is hard to come up with but I'll settle on Venomous Kate, Ryan Rhodes and Jim Lileks. Ryan and Jim are excellent writers (makes sense because they are writers professionally) who tell engaging stories, often with a wry or sardonic viewpoint. I love wry and sardonic. Kate's blog has everything I need. She does commentary, fun, irony, sarcasm and life with incredible wit and precision. Plus at least half of my traffic comes from her site.

What all three have in common is a total and complete lack of tollerance for bullshit and that's a cornerstone of my own life.

5. What's your best example of ironic justice?
Something I'd like to have happen or something that actually did happen? If it's the first then I'd have to say Rick Santorum's autopsy revealing the cause of death as a rabid impacted gerbil.

6. Which is more futile, the war on drugs or the war on terrorism?
The war on drugs, for its inanity and base stupidity. We're talking about a "conflict" where we have complete control over the rules and how the game is played and we can't win it. Here's a clue for any legislative types that might be reading: Change the Rules! Then go buy The Phoenix Solution by Vince Bugliosi and do what he tells you to. The "war" on drugs would be over in 3 years.

7. How many copies of the Sobig worm have you had to delete this week? (round off to the nearest hundred thousand if you like)
Only 5. Of course I haven't yet checked my public address.

Nope, none there.

Oops. Just got another one.

And one more.

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Parents Group Criticizes CBS Drama 'CSI'

I despise watchdog groups. I especially despise familycentric-holier-than-thou-if-you're-not-with-us-you-are-obviously-a-scumbag-child-molester-with-no-concept-of-decency-or-right-watchdog-groups whos entire goal is to censor what I am allowed to watch through self important proselytizing. I heard about the news article linked in the title of this post this morning on the radio and was flabbergasted to such an extent that I simply had to do some fisking. Let's begin.

It is a show about crime. It is the number one show on CBS because it is well acted and written and uses real crimes as the gestalt for the plotlines. In the real world, where I live, there are such things as cannibalism, S&X sex clubs and snuff films.

What does the time slot matter? This is an adult show, don't let your kids watch it! Turn the freaking TV off for once! "Family Hour" in my house involves tickling, wrestling, game playing and building castles out of Duplo blocks, not vegging in front of the bloody television.

Really? How do you deal with child rape in a manner suitable to the PTC?

Archie: The victim seems to have been touched in a bad way in her personal place.

Gil: The guy we're looking for must be a very bad person.

I appreciate Chris' need to defuse the situation but there's nothing noble at all about attempted censorship.

Uh huh. In fact, when you look at the "approved shows" from this group you find a strange corellation between "faith in God" and presence on the list.

Their site is a trip as well. When you first hit it you are greeted by a nice eye catching message:

After all, that's the easiest way for them to impose their morals on you. The vocal minority is a very powerful tool. Get enough people to harrass the FCC and they'll puke on a show to shut people up. Then the network censors will take care of the rest out of fear and overreaction. They brag that they have 800,000 members and growing. Make that 800,002 because Tickl M. Elmo and Fudgebar Rider just became members too. I wonder if some of the first 800,000 might be um...spurious.

The PTC rates each show with a green, yellow or red light to let you know if it's "safe". Green is good. Yellow is on the shady side. Red is right out. Let's see what the PTC wants us to watch this week. Tonight from 8:00 to 10:30 there is a fantastic selection of approved shows. Well, there's one approved show. America's Funniest Home Videos is aparently the only show that's safe for your family. Boston Public gets the red light in Sex, Language, Violence and Overall categories. That nefarious corrupter of family values, Reba gets a yellow light for Sex. Sex. On Reba. Right. Drilling down to the review on the show we find the problem:

Of course. Discussing teen pregnancy in a mature manner, in context and appropriate to the time slot is a yellow flag. Plus Reba is a redhead and you know they're all wonton harlots.

Moving to Saturday our choice remains precisely one show, Candid Camera. Oh, Sweet Jesus. Put a pencil in my eye. Please.

Sunday is a veritable cornucopia of fun with more Candid Camera at 8:00 followed by Doc at 9:00. Never heard of Doc? Not surprising. It's on PAX and stars that renouned actor Billy Ray Cyrus, who plays a eunich doctor from the country who finds himself in New York City. Hillarity ensues. I'm not sure just how much hillarity because:

Which is, of course, what is required to earn the green light from PTC.

Following Doc Billy is Sue Thomas F.B.Eye which I can't muster enough interest in to click the link to find out what it is about and just how a cop show avoids language, violence or sexual content.

On Monday we have two shows to pick from but they are unfortunately both on at the same time. So do we watch Yes, Dear or 7th Heaven? Easy question. 7th Heaven is a favorite show for Lovely Wife and I. But how did it get the green light here? It has featured storylines about teen pregnancy, child abuse, theft, infidelity, alcoholism, drug abuse, racism and even child abandonment. The show info from PTC doesn't really help explain why 7th Heaven gets a by when Reba got slammed. I believe it has more to do with the fact that 7th Heaven is the most popular show for all of the actual members of the PTC and if they gave it less than a green light there would be mutiny. Ye olde double standard.

Moving through the week we get more oatmeal programming with return visits by Candid Camera and Doc with other such drivel as Three's Still Company But Without Boobage 8 Simple Rules and George Lopez (a show which has only one saving grace - Constance Marie, who is so hot she sets off sprinkler systems on a regular basis).

In short, crap, crap, more crap, loads of crap, 7th Heaven, crap, crap, crap.

But the Parents Television Council doesn't stop with television. Oh, no. That would be a travesty. If they actually followed their own charter they wouldn't be able to attack the movie industry, singers and Target. Or even Powell who is brought to task for his apparent lack of concern for decency standards. As you know, Powell is the single most important decision maker regarding decency standards in the United States.

Anyway, I'm going to wrap this up now because I'm sick of the subject and any of you who have read this far probably are as well. My summary: The PTC is just another power club trying to impose its moral code on others through intimidation and censorship.

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Hot to Trot

Dinner last night was wings. Not just Any Wings. Oh, no. I despise Any Wings. Those are the wings you get from Dominos, Pizza Hut, Chiles, Insert National Chain Name Here, and the vast bulk of restaurants, bars and taverns. Any Wings are made by pimply faced kids or grimy fry cooks with a 3 day shadow. Any Wings are not made with love. There is no soul to them. They are sauced with a prepared mix designed by uninspired bean counters whos prefered foods include porridge and jello. They are served with a side of celery that you are actually expected to eat. Any Wings are generally soggy from sitting in a styrofoam container or from swimming in their tepid inferior sauce. They may even be (God, this even hurts to type) battered. Any Wings are beneath contempt.

No, these were real wings. Buffalo Wings. Lovingly individually hand cut and trimmed. Deep fried to a perfection of crispy skin and succulent flesh. Gently spoon turned in the sauce bowl to impart on each a perfect coat of fiery essence. There is no foul vegetable poluting the bowl of wings. No ersatz phallic symbols of watery fibrous celery or (gasp!) foul titian sticks of carrot to profane the perfection of the wing. There is a partner for the wings though. A bowl of luscious thick and chunky blue cheese dressing (no, not bleu - that is a foul spelling fostered on us by evil Canadians). This is not a dressing that is found on the shelf of a supermarket. No! Such watery roqueforts must not be allowed to befoul the wing. This is a dressing that comes from the refrigerated section with words like "Extra Thick" and "Super Chunky" on the label. A dressing worthy of accompanying the wing.

And the sauce. How do I even begin to describe the sauce? Its thick reddish brown appearance can only allude to the smallest hint of the cullinary delight that even the tiniest sample can evoke. When taken into the mouth of its lucky ruminant it blesses the tongue with a rolling tingle from tip to base. An orgy of sensual delight overtakes the ravaging eater as the sauce fights back with passionate fire and then slowly succumbs to linger on the palate in abject prostration. But this aqua vitae, this veritable milk of the pepper, is not done for it still burns lovingly on the lips in piquant reminder of its spent glory.

Of course there is a price to pay for such unfettered delight. There is a yang to this yin. This price is alluded to in the title for this post. I'll not elucidate further.

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BlogSpot is pissing me off

I know, I know. It's free so what do I expect?

Well, I'll tell you. I expect it to work right! I expect it not to introduce problems in other applications. To be honest I expect it to function perfectly as it's designed. You see, I'm fairly anal retentive. Little things that most people shrug off irk me. When I see something slightly "off" it begins to invade my thoughts in a pernicious and aggravating fashion, growing in scope beyond all rational boundaries until it becomes an obsessive need to fix or destroy. This is actually a positive trait in my line of work (software quality assurance, otherwise known as bug hunting). This isn't an all encompassing character trait though. I don't obsess about a clean desk or a tidy silverware drawer. My anal side manifests primarily when I'm dealing with something that I'm personally responsible for - something I've created.

My own blog is now putting me into the throws of obsessive behavior because of some screwed up crap in Blogger that I can't identify. Look at my right sidebar. Notice the 2 pixel wide line of white along the right side? That's not supposed to be there. In fact, according to the template coding it isn't there. Can't possibly be there. When I preview through Blogger it isn't there. When I take the html and display it on a local page it isn't there. It's only there when it is BlogSpot that is serving the html.

What the hay? The sidebar is also wider when BlogSpot is the host. By a good 30 pixels. What the heck is going on here? Is that intruded BlogSpot banner ad screwing things up?

So what do I do now? The situation cannot be allowed to continue. That's simply not an option for my sick mind. I can either change the template again (but I like this design!) or move off of BlogSpot to a host that won't screw with my html when they display it. A new host would be nice but it has to be free. It's also a hassle of immense proportions compared to the size of the problem.

Crap. Guess it's time to monkey around with the template again.

Update: All better now. I moved the sidebars in so it doesn't matter if there's a wacky 2 pixel screwup off one side of them. Nice little whitespace addition. Sort of makes the blog look more "magaziney", if you know what I mean.

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Microbes on Parade

I'm constantly finding new things out here in the blogoverse. Most of y'all probably see them and think "well, duh" but it's new and exciting for me so I'm more than willing to subject you to my fancy.

The one I found today is part of the Ecosystem at The Truth Laid Bear. Specifically it's the New Blog Showcase. NZ has set up a nifty little contest for new bloggers that helps introduce them to the blogosphere and the blogosphere to them. New bloggers submit a post and other Ecosystem bloggers can vote for the best simply by linking to it. Very cool idea.

Granted, the Ecosystem is in trouble right now but that's no reason to hold off on visiting these young blogs and voting (via linking on your own blog) for when NZ gets the Ecosphere up and working again.

My The own sumbission is Kids Trade Bad Habits Like Pokemon Cards. You should definitely vote for this one. It is without a doubt the best post that was submitted. Go ahead and look at the others though, just in case you have some odd kink or esoteric fetish that would make you prefer one of the others. Who knows? You may find a new blog to follow.

As a contestant part of my eligibility requirement is to vote for 3 other blogs. Though it goes against my very nature to support my competition i wouldn't want to forfeit my chance at the fabulous prizes I am bound to receive when I inevitably win so here they are:

Kid's Stuff at Futurballa. Neat little family post. Think Lileks with a late teens Gnat. Didn't have time to get into the meat of the blog but I'll definitely be back for a second look.

Kuching Fest Part VI at Mum-mum. Wena and Granny sample the goods. I got a bit lost in here but the pictures of food are so mouthwatering that it had to get my vote.

Davis Should Resign at Naw. Excellent insight into the situation and why Davis should resign instead of face a recall (this post was from back when Davis could have resigned and there would have been no recall). The blog overall seems mostly political and Adam is sitting left of center but he avoids the tantrumy tone of many political commentators so I'll probably be back there semi-regularly.

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Sexiest Male Blogger Contest: Update

Margi is now my favorite blogfem as she had the courage and conviction to nominate me for Sexiest Male Blogger. Well it was either courage and conviction or my abject begging overwhelmed her. Either way, Margi rocks.

There is a problem though. Alice did not put me into the poll. A simple oversight? Perhaps. Or was it snobbery against the vertically challenged? Maybe it was poll fixing? Her husband is a contestant after all. Hmmm...

Go visit and let Alice know what you think about it.

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Secret Agent Man

There's a man who leads a life of danger
To everyone he meets he stays a stranger

I woke up this morning with this song running through my head.

With every move he makes another chance he takes
Odds are he won't live to see tomorrow

And it just won't leave!

Secret agent man, secret agent man
They've given you a number and taken away your name

That refrain especially just keeps knocking back and forth rising to my stream of conciousness at the most inappropriate time.

Beware of pretty faces that you find
A pretty face can hide an evil mind

Damn it, Johnny Rivers! GET OUT OF MY HEAD!!

Ah, be careful what you say
Or you'll give yourself away
Odds are you won't live to see tomorrow

You know there's only one reliable way to get rid of a song in your head. That's to firmly implant it in somebody else's head.

Swingin' on the Riviera one day
And then layin' in the Bombay alley next day

You're providing the head for this particular song exorcism. Sorry to do this to you. Normally I'd walk over and lay this on G but he's still on vacation.

Oh no, you let the wrong word slip
While kissing persuasive lips
The odds are you won't live to see tomorrow

Feel free to bitch at me for this unwarranted and evil thing I have done to you. You may freely curse my name each time the devilish refrain pops unbided into your thoughts throughout the day.

Secret agent man, secret agent man
They've given you a number and taken away your name

Ahhh...freedom.

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Are You Ready For Some Carnival?

Carnival of the Vanities #48 is up at Outside the Beltway. James did an awesome job with the presentation this week.

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It's Better to Burn Out Than Fade Away

Bonfire of the Vanities #7 has been inflicted upon the world. Go take a look at the many reasons that bloggers should all stay humble.

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My Political Compass Points Due Nowhere

Found a link to The Political Compass Quiz over at Ilyka's place. The idea behind the compass is to show another dimension of political ideography beyond Left/Right. Specifically it separates the traditional social metric from the traditional economical metric. As the site says:

My initial impression of the quiz that plots you on the compass was favorable. Don't get me wrong, there are some obvious and very large problems with it. It is, however, an excellent step forward towards a very good idea. The most obvious problems are insufficient number of questions and several very convoluted questions. The first is a problem because a small sample field cannot be used reliably in statistical measurement. The larger the sample, the more accurate the result. The smaller the sample, the greater the chance of statistical anomaly. Confusing, poorly worded or misleading questions throw monkey wrenches into the works. This is exacerbated by the small size of the original sample.

A larger but less obvious problem with the quiz is that the questions lack weight. You may agree or disagree with a quiz statement or you may strongly agree or disagree. The quiz does not ask you how much that statement matters to you. Let me show you why. The four items in the following table are scored in the same manner as the ones on this political compass test.

I take this test and my answers are A,D,A,D. The results of my test indicate that I am dead center on both the social and economic scales. My agreements cancel out my disagreements leaving me at 0,0. But wait. I don't give a fig about the issue on question #1, I just strongly disagree with the statement. Now question #2 I am both strongly in agreement as well as passionate about the topic. If we can record this "weight" for each question we can reduce the effect of topics that don't matter (question #1) and increase the effect for topics that do matter (question #2). With the points weighted I'm suddenly a good distance to the right on the social metric.

Weighted polls like I describe have been going on for a long, long time. They have never really caught on because they are generally not needed - most polls are simply constructed to assign beans. "Will you vote for Bush? Yes/No". It doesn't matter how much you care about voting for Bush because you have one vote and it will either be cast for him or it won't. You can't half vote or 2/3 vote. They care only about the absolute values.

The poll/quiz they are using for this compass cannot work without weighting the questions as it is trying to determine relative values. As I illustrated in the example above it is far too possible for the results to skew without weights. So overall I don't put much stock in the results I got for my Political Compass but I like what they are trying to do here; the inclusion of a second major metric in political placement is absolutely necessary in my book. I'll wait impatiently for a proper quiz. In the meantime, go to the site, take the one that's there to see what it's all about and then place yourself on the graph where you feel you should be. It'll probably be more accurate than where the quiz places you.

By the way (in case you haven't guessed already from the post title) my results were Economic (Left/Right): 0.12 and Social (Libertarian/Authoritarian): -0.10. Those are on a scale of -10 to 10 so I'm about as dead stick stuck at the center as it's likely anybody could get.

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Unfreakylinks

There's been a lot of chatter about the rash of "freak" deaths in the past couple days. There's the decapitated doc, the amusement park fellow who was snagged by a ride and then scalped and dropped to his death, and the visitor to Vegas who was electrocuted by a traffic signal box.

Bull pucky.

These are not freak deaths. They are candidates for The Darwin Awards. Let me show you why.

Terrible? Yes. A freak accident? No. Cause of death was stupidity. He was spraying lubricant on the tracks while the ride was operating! I am neither a carny nor an engineer but my very most basic intelligence tells me not to be working on the tracks when the train is coming.

Regretable? Absolutely. Unpredictable, against the odds accident? No. Cause of death is once again stupidity. Add it up: Powerful Weekend Thunderstorm + No Shoes + Stepping On Electrical Control Box = Idiot.

A horrible loss of an apparently wonderfully caring physician? It sure is. Once in a million happenstance? Not really. Cause of death is mostly stupidity. I'll probably get some grief for this one but I'm plunging forward anyway.

The doors trapped him by the shoulders. Try to imagine in your mind how in the world a pair of vertical sliding doors can close and trap somebody's shoulders. First of all the doors have to be either closing incredibly quickly or just about closed already. The doors moving quickly scenario is not feasible. The motors that work them are strong but they are not fast. They simply do not have the ability to move the doors appreciably faster than we are used to seeing them move. Second, the person must be fairly horizontal - it didn't catch his torso, body, etceteras, just his shoulders (plural). How in the world could our unfortunate doc be in at least a semi-horizontal position entering an elevator with doors that were mostly closed? The obvious situation suggested (demanded, really) by the facts is that he was rushing into the closing elevator trying to engage the safety stop so the doors would open. We've all seen it. Most of us have done it. Most people don't put in a whole torso like this fellow but at least a hand or arm is far too often used to trip that rubber bumper so we don't have to wait for the next elevator. Although the attempted action is fairly common it sure isn't intelligent. Pushing in head first is downright dumb. Now add in that this particular elevator was known to have mechanical problems and you can see why I count this cause of death as stupidity (even if you don't agree with me).

So to summarize, these are definite tragedies. Loss of human life generally is. They were not, however, the freak accidents they are being portrayed as. The real moral of these stories is to use basic safety precautions and common sense. Do not work on train tracks when the train is coming. Do not walk barefoot onto electrical boxes during a thunderstorm. Do not thrust body parts into large moving metal plates, especially when you know they aren't working correctly.

Use your head, or you just might lose it.

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Sub adults

My Lovely Wife was born and raised in Germany and also spend a decade living in The Netherlands. This gives her a unique viewpoint on many of our staid American traditions and mores. One we discussed recently was underage drinking and I have to say that the Hollandaise solution seems quite superior to our own. Let's take a quick look at typical teen drinking in the USA:

1) Teens sneak into parents' liquor cabinet, steal booze, get blasted, get caught, get punished.
2) Teens are now cut off from parents'booze so the oldest looking one in their clique is now Mr. Beer and they buy illegally, get blasted, generally don't get caught so generally don't get punished.
3) Teens get blasted away from home in some "secret" location and have to get back. Maybe there's a designated driver, probably not.
4) Teens either die, get caught by cops and have their life screwed up or make it home safely , thereby reinforcing their belief in their natural immunity from all evils and encouraging them to do it again.

Not a pretty sight. Now let's look at your average late teen, twenty year old:

1) Drink illegally at a bar that doesn't care about their age. Sometimes they'll need to alter their license just enough so the bouncer can pretend he thinks they're 21.
2) Alternately, go drink at a friend's house.
3) Get blasted away from home and have to get back. Maybe there's a designated driver, probably not.
4) Either die, get caught by cops and have their life screwed up or make it home safely reinforcing their belief in their natural immunity from all evils and encouraging them to do it again.

The basic problem is that in the USA you are either a youth or you are an adult. There's no middle ground. If you are 20 years old plus 364 days you pretty much can't drink legally anywhere. This despite the fact that you've been old enough to elect the leadership of the country for 2 years and 364 days. O'er in the nordic lands they acknowledge that there is a middle ground when a maturing person is not an adult but wants to be one. They have a special classification for these tweeners that allows them some of the rights and privileges of an adult under greater supervision. Here's how Nederlander teens go partying:

1) Bus to the tweener club.
2) If you're 15 you can have some beer. If you're 17 you can have some actual alcohol.
3) You don't actually need to get drunk. You're at a club legally. No sneaking. No special thrill for breaking the rules. No need to drink everything you bought because there's nowhere to stash it until the next time your crew has a chance to get blasted. You actually learn to use alcohol responsibly and in moderation. Plus, the club is highly monitored. Mess up and you could get banned. You do NOT want to get banned from the club 'cause you can be damned sure that this would be the figurative end of your social life.
4) Bus back home at a reasonable hour because the club closes at a reasonable time. Maybe you caught a buzz, maybe not. You had a good time though so will likely do it again instead of trying to go the illegal route for a bender.

In the USA we cultivate an atmosphere that encourages teen drunkenness and violation of arbitrary laws. On the other side of the pond there is openness. No brick wall saying "Keep Out" that makes burdgeoning adults want more than anything to get in.

I put together a hypothetical situation and Lovely Wife has presented it to some of our friends with kids:

Your kid has been invited to a party. The parents there are buying beer for the kids. Both parents will be there the entire night supervising the festivities. Every effort will be made to prevent drunkenness and maintain a casual atmosphere. Keys are going to be collected at the door. Kids are welcome to spend the night. Those who do not spend the night may taxi home or may be brought home by one of the parents when the party is over.

Poll question:
Would you let your kids go to this party?

Results:
Yes: 42 (76%)
No: 12 (21%)
Maybe: 1 (1%)

So far three out of three that Lovely Wife spoke with would let their kid go. All three put in the proviso that we were the host parents. I can understand this as you can't really ask this question fairly, even hypothetically, without a bit of information on the hosts. What thinkest thou? Would you let your kids go? Comment and vote your opinion.

UPDATE:
Poll closed and results recorded above. This is excellent support. It should mean that there's a decent chance I won't get arrested when I throw one of these parties for Bear in a dozen years or so.

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You had me at blogroll (SBD)

Kevin has offered to put all public supporters of Glenn in a special blogroll that links to their posts of support. Hell I sold myself once for a pack of smokes and a jigger of tequila, you know I'm game.

Official Notice of Support: Glenn Reynolds rocks! He's the best! He has my unconditional (except for the blogroll thing from Kevin) support for all eternity (or at least until Frank beats Kevin's bribe recruitment bonus).

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Another weird one

I went to bed pissed last night. It was partly because of what happened to Kate and partly because a simple oil change and tire rotation on the family truckster ended in a quote for a grand to fix things that we just fixed last year. Predictably, I had a dream that reflected my somnolent attitude. Unpredictably, I remembered it and it's another doozy.

I'm standing in front of a desk in a big room, like a cafeteria. Old Old Boss is sitting behind the desk in his oh-so-comfy big ass executive leather chair. Now this is Old Old Boss, not Old Boss. That is, he's from the company I left in Buffalo to come down to Atlanta. In real life we had parted on good terms and, though we haven't stayed in close contact, the few times we've spoke or written have been very cordial. Dream Old Old Boss was like that - friendly and smiling. Decent start for a dream.

He talks for a little while about how great it is to have me working there and then just sort of stops talking. This is where the dream starts to go downhill. It's obvious to me that the conversation is over but he hasn't really ended it. It would be disrespectful for me to just leave so I stand there expectantly waiting for him to continue or conclude. The silence gets uncomfortable so I take the initiative and offer a hand for shaking and say something like "Thanks, it's great working here. I guess I'll see you later." He smiles and shakes my hand. As I'm turning to go he calls me back, says "You'll need this" and hands me a short report.

I walk out the door into the hallway. The hallway is odd - like in a high school with lockers lining the walls. There are lots of people walking to and fro. I look at the report and suddenly understand that I was just in my review. That silence from his was just him waiting for me to ask for a raise. I blew it! No raise! Sonofabeetch!

I turn around to go back and talk to him again. Maybe I can explain that I was confused or something and bring up the raise. As I walk back I start reading the report. The first item is Product Quality and has a rating of 2.4. The written explanation for the rating is "Software hangs. Too many bugs." I look at other items and most of them have ratings in the 3.6 to 3.9 area. I go to the back page and see that the scale is from 2 to 4.

I stop walking. I was not a software analyst at that job, I was the Executive Assistant. I did most of the custom programming but it was well outside my job description - not an item that would be number one on my review. Then I realize that this review is for my current job. Old Old Boss just did a job review for my position in software QA! I've received a review with a rating of almost as absolutely low as you can get in my primary area of responsibility.

Now I'm pissed. First of all Old Old Boss, nice as he could be, was not what you would call a technofile. He knew his industry backwards and forwards and he knew people well but he was not kin to the computer. How the hell could he possibly review my work in a pure technology field? Second, I do damn fine work. Since I took over QA on my product line the incidence of reported bugs has gone way down, customer satisfaction with new releases is way up and (most telling) the overall incidence of bugs found in new release features is at an all time low.

And I was rated 2.4 on a scale of 2 to 4?! Now I was furious and stormed back into the room ready to rant and rave. I get in the cafeteria sized room and it's now a bloody cafeteria with tables, serving line and lots of people eating their lunches. I stand there fuming. No Old Old Boss to confront over the unfair review, no recourse possible, I'm helpless to combat the situation at all.

Then I woke up. Pissed. Anybody care to conjecture just what the heck is going on with my id and ego here?

I just realized something odd. Maybe it isn't so unpredictable that I remembered this dream. I picked the name for this blog from a conversation I had with G. He was late for our car pool and said he was waylaid by a snooze button dream. That was the first time I'd heard the term and it really tickled me so I used it here as my title. Since I started this blog I have remembered more dreams than any other time in my life. The couple I've written about and quite a few others that haven't made the cut. Maybe because I have an outlet to share them so there is a value to remembering them? Maybe just because the word 'dream' is in my face several times a day? Maybe just because I'm writing again each day so the creative juices are flowing? I don't know but I'd be interested in finding out.

Posted by: Jim at 07:15 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 902 words, total size 5 kb.

Unbefreakinglievable

Wasn't even going to post today as I'm in still recovering from my illness but I took a minute to peruse my favorite blogs and came across something that absolutely demands that I do so.

As you can tell by my archive depth I haven't been doing this very long. To tell the absolute truth I'm fairly new to the blogosphere even as an observer. In the relatively short time I've been here, and in the shallow corner that I've actually visited, I've encountered two of the most despicable actions of my life. In the first, the "Moxie" war, an inane online feud resulted in a woman losing her real life job. Now, a vindictive bastard has done it again. Some fucknut has taken an online disagreement and made it a real, human, personal attack. Some psychoanal addict has tried to screw with Kate in her real life. Not just with Kate, oh no. This scumball has tried to have her kids taken away from her.

HER KIDS!

They called Child Protective Services on her, claiming she is an abusive alcoholic. Exactly how evil does somebody have to be to do something like this? How fucked up do your thought processes have to be for this to seem like a rational thing to do? Can't people even think? Can't this fuck tell the difference between verbal argument or misunderstanding and what it means to totally fuck someone over? To try to strip kids from their family in order to "punish" somebody? I am totally fucking over the top pissed.

And I am unbelievably impressed by Kate. She is showing ungodly restraint. If somebody, anybody, ever tried to pull something like this on me - try to take my kids - I would be calling down the lighting on their soon to be sorrier than ever before in their lives ass. You attack me, fine. I've made myself a public target. But attacking my kids? Nothing this short of hell would protect you from me. Kate hasn't even stated who the argument is with. Kate's definitely a better person than me because at this point I would be slamming that name at every opportunity.

Whoever did this, I hope you understand how karma works and I wish to hell I could see you when this comes back at you. You suck and the world would be a better place without you.

Posted by: Jim at 06:36 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 402 words, total size 2 kb.

Move 'em up, move 'em out, rawhide!

In my drug induced delerium I have decided that now is the perfect time to dismantle my computer and all its periphery and move them to a more secure (read: childproof) location. If protracted silence from this corner ensues you may safely assume that I fucked it up.

Posted by: Jim at 06:09 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 62 words, total size 1 kb.

Ode to promethazine

Promethazine, promethazine,
lovely cherry flavor.
How you make my days float
and entertain my dreams.
Awake or asleep there is no difference
as the burden of my conciousness is lifted
by sweet, sweet promethazine.

I've got a bad chest cold. It came on like a freight train last night after tickling me with threats the whole day. Taking some lovely syrup which allows me to breath at will without disgorging a lung but I'm feeling a bit loopy. Don't expect much coherence from me this day.

Posted by: Jim at 01:45 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 92 words, total size 1 kb.

It's a sex thang

Blatant knee walk begging for one of my lovely readers to nominate me as Sexiest Male Blogger. Don't be afraid to share me my dear ones, you were my firsts and will always have a special place in my heart.

Update: If you are a guy then the preceding wasn't really directed to you. Unless you nominate me, of course. Then it all applies.

Posted by: Jim at 03:57 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 72 words, total size 1 kb.