May 31, 2004
Hosting: Would you like to host the Symphony? Send me a note and I'll get you on the schedule.
Submit to the Symphony: Want to be a part of next week's edition? Check out this post for submission help. Entries should always be sent to bestofme@jpeacock.net regardless of who the Symphony host is.
Spread the word: Webloggers, how about some linky love?
Email Reminders: If you'd like to be sent a reminder about the Symphony, join the mailing list. There's one email sent on Thursday or Friday to remind you to submit for the next Symphony and one on Monday with the location of the newly posted Symphony.
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08:35 AM
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May 30, 2004
Flaming Asshole Award Reassigned
It turns out that Daniel Watts is the likely victim here and the flaming ass is the Associated Press. Daniel commented and emailed regarding his treatment by the press:
As I learned during the gubernatorial race, the media has a tendency to take everything I say out of context.
Some of the articles have misquoted me as saying that the video "is not a big deal."
It IS a big deal. Anyone dying in Iraq is a big deal. What the media blew out of proportion was the attempted showing of the Nick Berg video on Library Walk on Tuesday (by another student, not me); the video wasn't even shown, but the media hung out for 2 hours to interview the guy.
There are multiple reasons to show the video. The main one is that photos of Iraqi prisoner abuse have been plastered all over the newspapers and Internet, but the media have not gone to similar lengths to try to give the same attention to an even worse crime committed AGAINST Americans. The media's coverage of the Abu Ghraib prison abuse is slanted; they will show graphic photos of prisoners being mauled, humiliated, etc. but they won't show even worse atrocities committed by the terrorists.
I'm sorry the story you read portrayed me unfairly. If I've learned anything it's that the media selectively choose what to include in their stories.
Sincerely,
Daniel Watts
Thusly it is that the Flaming Asshole Trophy is reclaimed from Daniel Watts and bestowed instead upon the Associated Press, long may their gasseous discharges burn.
Posted by: Jim at
07:57 PM
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Well last night I saw an ad for Heineken and they're giving away music, sort of how Pepsi did it recently. Code or whatever is in the box, go to Real and get a free tune. Mister Talks Too Fast mentioned something about "two free in every twelve pack" and then "no purchase necessary to win". I immediately thought "Bingo! Free beer!" Go and point out their gaff and demand some free twelve packs, right? Well as you can imagine I was sorely disappointed in that effort. I did however find out how to get the tunes without buying the beer. In retribution for so cruelly crushing my hopes I want each and every one of you to follow these instructions and get some free music. I want an Instalanche and whatever other 'lanches I can get. Spread the word, share the glory. Pay these monsters back for teasing me by getting free music and making them pay for it. Join the new revolution!
TO RECEIVE YOUR UNIQUE PIN CODE WITHOUT BEER PURCHASE (good for 2 downloads except in PA where 2 PIN codes will be supplied for a total of 4 downloads), send a self-addressed, stamped envelope and a 3x5 card with your name, complete address including zip code (no P.O. Boxes), daytime telephone number with area code and date of birth to Heineken Music Download Offer, P.O. Box 7430, Wilton, CT 06897-7430. Requests must be postmarked no later than 7/30/04 and received no later than 8/6/04. Limit one PIN code request per envelope, individual, household, family or address. Neither Sponsor nor RealNetworks are responsible for lost, illegible, incomplete, late, postage-due or misdirected mail. Please allow 2-3 weeks for delivery of PIN code without beer purchase. Delivery cannot be guaranteed unless you include a zip code. No P.O. Boxes accepted.
Attention Heineken: I'll call off the attack dogs if you send me a coupon for a free 12 pack.
Posted by: Jim at
09:32 AM
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May 29, 2004
Please note that the autoresponse you are used to receiving may not be working. The emails themselves are getting through, itÂ’s just not sending out the confirmations.
The only requirements are that you think the post is good and that it be at least 2 months old. It doesn't even have to be from your own blog. It just can't get any simpler!
The basics of the Bestofme Symphony.
Want to host a Symphony?
Get reminder emails.
Posted by: Jim at
09:55 AM
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May 28, 2004
Visits* recorded by Sitemeter: 66,411
Actual visits** from log analysis: 136,362
* Site Meter defines a visit as a series of page views by one person with no more than 30 minutes in between page views.
** A visitor is counted only when bringing up more than one page and taking no longer than 30 minutes between individual pages.
So Sitemeter is trying to count more sessions as visits (criteria of one page view versus a criteria of two or more page views) but is actually ending up with less than half (49%) of the actual visits.
Does anybody else out there have actual numbers they can compare to see what percentage of their visits are getting recorded by Sitemeter?
Posted by: Jim at
12:42 PM
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If you aren't achieving your goals you should reevaluate your plan and make changes as necessary. --Me
Posted by: Jim at
07:25 AM
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Ba dum bum
(Disclaimer: In real life that's probably the second to last thing you'd ever hear from my Lovely Wife. The very last thing being along the lines of "I certainly am enjoying this ninety-five degree weather" or something similar. And the joke was from Dopple-G anyway so blame him not me, m'kay Sweetie?)
Posted by: Jim at
07:05 AM
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May 27, 2004
Posted by: Jim at
02:29 PM
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Anyway, Ilyka pointed out this post where Ace of Spades shares his adventures in matching whore levels with the Washingtonienne. Specifically, he needed deviant sex with six people that earns at least $400. This excerpt falls just after Ace laments that he is short of his goal by two partners: more...
Posted by: Jim at
01:02 PM
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I guess what I’m really trying to say, and badly, is that no matter how much you protest that you can’t stand any of it, I bet you can. What, are you that one guy who actually didn’t like the O Brother soundtrack? You can hear “9 to 5” and not feel incredibly awesome? You really don’t think you’d ever want a CD for road trips that had “On the Road Again”? You don’t fucking dig the shit out of the theme song to Dukes of Hazzard?
I don't like most country but I-girl is right - there are some bits and pieces that are the shiznit.
Posted by: Jim at
08:45 AM
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Tiffani is back from her sojourn to the fabulous Playa de Corriente Riviera Océano Inca Iberio Maya Vacaciones resort. That's in Mexico, y'all.
Go see her vacation report including details of tokillya overconsumption, crazy midnight nude romps in the surf and a picture where the only clothing you can see on her is a couple inches of fabric strategically covering one of her womanly bits. (Yeah, I'm Harvey baiting. So what?)
Sounds like Tiffani had a wild time in ol' Mexico!
Posted by: Jim at
05:42 AM
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May 26, 2004
This is pretty fun actually. Usually when I edit things I have to be serious.
Posted by: Jim at
10:15 PM
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BW&BK: "Do you think Americans are as free as they think they are?"
JS: "Um... yeah, I do. In most ways. If you're saying you should be able to drink when you're 16 years old like you can in Germany, is that the kind of freedoms you're talking about?"
BW&BK: "Well, sometimes Americans believe they're very free, when they're sometimes not. There are a lot of authors, especially a guy like Noam Chomsky, who believes a lot of consent in the US is manufactured by politicians and corporations --"
JS: "Talk about one of the fuckin' ultra leftist spin doctors of the world, Noam Chomsky. You buy into that crap?"
BW&BK: "Well, I read a lot of his stuff."
JS: "But do you believe it all?"
BW&BK: "I have a degree in political science, so I believe some of it."
JS: "Hmm. Yeah. Well. And how old are you?"
BW&BK: "I'm 22."
JS: "22 years old? That's a lot of wisdom there! Come on, man. You know where I live? In the real world. When I was 16 years old I was living in abandoned houses and making my way into a career. Building things up from nothing without any kind of... well... socialist system to help me. That made me a very strong, independent person. I'm an independent thinker. Just because I get certain things shoved down my throat, I don't follow. I lead. Y'know what I'm saying? I look at the facts, and I base my opinions on the facts. Not the political rantings of someone like Noam Chomsky. I've got some of his books in my library. I think they're unbelievably over-the-top, like dangerously so. But that's you've got out there."
(Hat tip to Jen and Blogless Pete)
Posted by: Jim at
03:27 PM
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Shocking news, y'all. Spanky the Clown has been arrested on child pornography charges. Nambla the Strongman and Buttfuck the Lion Tamer are also under suspicion.
(Hat tip to FlipExpress, formerly Delusional Duck, formerly Phillip Coons, formerly Delusional Duck again. I'm waiting a week before I change my blogroll ;-)
Posted by: Jim at
02:16 PM
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Jackasses can't even pronounce my damn name? Screw 'em!
Posted by: Jim at
01:35 PM
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"Hey, barkeep, who just said that?" he asks.
The bartender replies "Oh, it's just the peanuts. They're complimentary."
(Ba-dum-bum)
Posted by: Jim at
08:09 AM
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May 25, 2004
... forcing him to strip, eat chalk, and chew cigarette ends.
They are accused of a wide range of offences including causing bodily harm and coercion over beatings inflicted on the victim from September last year.
Prosecutors say the victim's [peers] knew about or were involved in what they call the "systematic torture" that began two weeks after he arrived at the institution.
The alleged acts include forcing the [victim] to expose his genitals, and punching or beating him with objects including sticks and a screwdriver.
The alleged abusers videotaped their actions...some of the pictures were distributed on the internet.
Prosecutors say the [alleged abusers] have all confessed but one of the defence lawyers...said none had been able to explain why they acted as they did.
The four alleged ringleaders have been in custody since early February.
...
The victim, who is undergoing therapy, was not present for Tuesday's hearing but has been asked to give evidence next week.
And if that's what the Europeans are doing at their vocational schools then God only knows what they're doing in their prisons.
The students, aged 16 to 18, allegedly beat and kicked their 17-year-old victim...
They were all students at a vocational school in Hildesheim, near Hanover, on a one-year course to prepare them for jobs.
(Hat tip to Angelfire)
Posted by: Jim at
03:08 PM
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Not only that, but Joe gets fast tracked onto the old Blogroll. Funny, occasionally poignant, short posts, humorous photoshopping...what's not to love? Welcome aboard, Joe. Please go see The Bartender about that template though, m'kay?
Posted by: Jim at
12:56 PM
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I was falling through the air, the wind ripping at my clothes, blinding me and whipping my hair about. I vaguely remembered a fight on the airplane and sabotaging it so the people on board (terrorists I think) would die. I was falling and perfectly calm, with no parachute. Then I remembered that I had thrown the only parachute out of the plane before the fight. I had to catch up to it now.
I caught a glimpse of it tumbling far below and behind me and I angled myself to catch it, just like James Bond. In my head I was processing my fall: attitude, altitude, trajectory, velocity, overtake, you name it. I was processing the parachute's fall too, especially how it's terminal velocity and relative speed were changing as it tumbled. It made the numbers jiggly to follow but I was running them like my brain was some sort of supercomputer (not that this should surprise any of you).
To reiterate, I wasn't frightened at all. In fact I didn't think about the fall itself at all, just the mathematical construct of the variables and effects of it. An image coalesced in my mind's eye that represented my reaching the parachute in time to secure it and deploy it safely. It was a tesseract and as my chances of survival dropped, the tesseract collapsed on itself.
As I slowly gained on the parachute I saw the ground gaining definition as it rushed up toward me. I watched as the tesseract inexorably drew in upon itself. I caught the tumbling parachute, oriented on it and put my right arm through a strap. I spun around to let the wind carry the parachute into place and put my left arm through. The tesseract was almost flat as I buckled the harness in place and grabbed the rip cord. The tesseract was flat. I pulled the cord.
And an anvil popped out, a la Wiley Coyote, and took up position a few feet above my head. I crossed my arms and got a foul look on my face. I rolled my eyes, said "fuck it" and woke up.
Damned roadrunners.
POINTS: 3 points to the first person to name the group that sang the title to this post. No searching please.
Posted by: Jim at
11:49 AM
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May 24, 2004
Q: I stumbled across the original post by Jim while searching "wet dreams" on the internet. I'm 40 years old, and I haven't had any kind of a dream in a very long time, but I'd really love to. Is there any way to force your self to have some kind of a wet dream- either peeing or ejaculating?-Dry in Denver
A: There sure is, DID. Your best bet would be to drink as much apple juice and water (about a 50/50 mix) as you can (without vomiting, of course) before going to bed. After about 45 minutes have your partner pour tepid (tepid means slightly warmer than you) water over your hand. If you don't start peeing from that then your partner should pour it over your groin. This way even if you never actually piss yourself you can still pretend that you did.
Along the same vein if you can't ever seem to achieve an ejaculatory dream you could simulate the effects of one by having some guy jerk off on you while you sleep.
Posted by: Jim at
03:13 PM
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